Things Seem Up in the Air

Hello lovely readers,

Last week on Facebook, I shared I was struggling in my quiet time and that "It has been hard for me to get into the word and really feel connected to God's word. I read my Bible usually as I eat breakfast but it doesn't sink in and I feel leave the moment with no difference to my day. I feel I am kind of drifting away from being connected to God. If you have any suggestions of routine, books (in the Bible) or Devotionals to read, that would be great. Also prayers (I know there are bigger things in the world that are happening) would be greatly appreciated because I know this drifting feeling and it is very isolating." And I was overwhelmed by the support I got from my Facebook community, people who haven't talked to in years provided support and I felt blessed to have the support. So first I want to thank the people.

I have recently felt things have been in the air with my life and I seeking God's direction for life... And I am not sure what that is but I feel change is in the air. During one of my quiet times I prayed "Lord give me guidance. I feel so many things are up in the air... bu my desire to do what you want. Oh Lord I wish I had a vision for what you wanted from my life, but oh God, and I might never have a clear vision for my life. I pray Oh God you lea me no matter what may com. Be my God. Lord I know I have strayed from you. I know I have not kept you a top priority and I have fallen away from you. I know come in desperation because I want my life to make sense, and right now it doesn't. Lord but I also know my life depends on you... Lord be with me, guide me, take my by the hand and show me your path." Then I read the passage "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord"-Psalm 27:14. 

Sometimes when I have these moments of dryness I feel God has left me... but in my truest heart I know that hasn't true because I know my life depends on God. Over the years I have learned that when I try to do things on my own that my world feels to begins to crumble and that I feel I drown with no hope of being saved... but God is my true savior. Though I will be the first one to admit that it is hard to hold on to these truths, especially when things aren't going the way you imagine.

Right now I am in a time of waiting and knowing that no matter what I am going through that God with is with. While things seem up in the air I know I can rely on God to guide me. That is what I am seeking God's guidance through these times. 

Maybe its a Bit Morbid

Post: I Press on Towards the Goal

Hello lovely readers,

I am not usually a person who thinks a lot about death, but lately I have...

In Honduras

After my grandad passed away a couple of years ago, quite by surprise, we had to plan his funeral and besides where he wanted to be buried, it felt like none of us really knew what he wanted. I then began to think if anything did happen to me I would want people to know what passages and songs I liked. So I wrote them down and put them in the back of my Bible (just in case). Then when I went to Honduras I had a weird feeling of peace that I may not come back, so before I left I decided to write a quick note of how I wanted some of my things divided (not that I have much)... but silly things like I want my niece to have my Mary Cassatt prints that I have had since I was a little girl, I wanted my friend to look after my cat (if she was able to) and I wanted my mom to have my Bible. (By the way this note is still in the back of my Bible if anything should happen to me).

So these are as morbid as my thought went, until recently. I blame the last two books I have read... both of them have dealt with death in someway. In The Blue Castle by L.M. Montgomery (author of Anne of Green Gables) Valancy Stirling has lived a life with very strict regulations and always trying to please her family, until she is 29 years old and she goes to the doctor and he tells her she only has at max one more year to live. She decides she is no longer going to live in the confines of her strict family and decides to actually live... it is over all a very sweet story.

But it has got me thinking... what if I only had a year to live?

I would of course like to spend as much time with my family as possible. I think immediately I would like to spend any time I felt well I would want to be with my niece and nephews and soak up enough time with them. I don't think I would want them to see me when I was truly sick... as I would hate for that to be the last image they had of me.
 

Me at Windsor Castle

I think I would also like to spend time finishing my work in progress (at least in first draft). I have wanted to be a writer all my life but I have many works that I have not completed and I would like to have at least one work done. And then maybe hand it over to some one to see it through to be published.

I have also made a second family up here in Boston, so I would like to be here as well. I have some other thoughts of maybe traveling to England one more time as it is my favorite place outside the U.S. but if I didn't get to it I wouldn't mind. Being around the people I love the most would be most important.

Not to leave you on a completely morbid thought... and having you think I am a morbid person.Valancy's story is not just about what she did with her time it is about how she faced the idea that she was dying. Instead of just sticking too routine she decided to go out and actually live her life. The book is called The Blue Castle because whenever Valancy is sad she dreams up this blue castle to escape to. In the story she decides to chase after her "blue castle" the place she is most comforted. In doing this she speaks up for herself and even finds love.

I understood a lot where Valancy come from...She feels trapped in a life that is not her own. I don't feel trapped bu sometimes I wonder if I hide myself too much. No one likes being vulnerable, but I sometimes fear letting my guard down so much that I feel paralyzed at least mentally. As I was typing up this post, I found this quote on Pinterest:

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And it really struck a chord with me. It tied to this post, in my mind, and I thought instead of using time on what I would do if I only had one more year to live, what I should do with my life now?

I will keep you posted. 

Sorry to start the week on such a morbid note. I just wanted to share some thinking.

Have a good day.

My world Monday... my week off.

Hello lovely readers,

I am taking this week off from blogging. I have enjoyed this schedule of getting a post done for three times a week, but to be honest I have felt the drain a bit and I feel that my content has not been that good. While I am trying to push myself in writing more I know I want my content to be good. Also the last couple of Monday's I have not had much to say for "My World Monday" post... I have actually had a few ideas but none very good. I am taking this week off.

Hope you understand.

As the first season of Poldark is now over :( I am obsessing over the fan made videos. I really like this one, below, hope you enjoy.

Link

My little E is turning 3

Hello lovely readers,

Today I am taking a special break from my usual "Writing Wednesday" post because my little nephew is turning 3 today.

This little boy means the world to me (as do my niece and other nephews) I am so happy to be sharing his birthday celebration with you my lovely readers.

Being Aunt Blaire is one of my favorite roles and even though I am far away from them they are always close to my heart. 

All my love little E. 

Pin of the moment

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Hello Lovely Readers,

I am sorry I don't really have anything to write here for this: "My World Monday" life really hasn't changed that much from my previous Monday post (link). However, I did not want to get off schedule, so I am sharing you this quote on Pinterest.

Life kind of seems up in the air right now and I feel my one steadiness is my writing. I already have my "Wednesday Writing" post ready to be published, I am discussing the things I have done in to get over the stuck feelings I had, here is a little preview:

 Dream

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 I know this will not be hard for writers as writing is basically dreams you put on paper. While right now I remain unpublished I think of the day my story will be published and I love thinking about the cover of my story. So I have spent some time while stuck searching Pinterest to get some inspiring art to be the cover of my story. I know right now I do not own this picture and I know that my publisher will have their ideas on what to make the cover look like but right now I am just enjoying the idea of a possible cover. 

Other than my writing I am making good headway on 26 Book reading Challenge I have finished book 20 and have only 6 more to go. As much as I have been enjoying this challenge and reading book I might never have read but some of the books on my shelf are asking me to read them again. Also I would like to read some more WWI books as I continue to work on my story. 

Sorry not much to says here... Hope you will read my "Wednesday Writing" post.

Can't Just Sit By... Part 2ish

Hello lovely readers,

Click here to read New Year's Post

This is kind of a follow up on my previous post about not just sitting by and waiting for things to change. While that is good it is not a plan. This is also kind of a follow up on my New Year's resolution post.

I mean it is July so probably a good time to look back at those New Year's resolutions... I set two very broad goals for myself 1) "Invest or Re-invest in friendships" and 2) "Work on transforming my mind to understand what God wants for my life."... Yep big, broad, and maybe a little idealistic goals but I am still working on them (they might be life long resolutions as I am sure I will need reminders of them over time).

However I three new goals to add to my list to get done by this time next year (if not sooner):

1. Finish at least the first of my novel. I feel I have spent years working on this story but I want to finally buckle down and get it out. 
2. Find a volunteer position to invest in an on going manner. 
3. Work on and get a handle on my budget in order to save more, pay off student loans, and invest. I would also like to be able to donate more money to causes I like. 

Yeah reading that list seems pretty intense but do-able if I focus. I also feel like these 3 things will help me know better that I am doing something with my life and being of use in this world. 

Okay this is a quick post but I wanted to give you, my lovely readers, an update. I thought last week seemed kind of a downer and I am not actually down at all just trying to push on and setting goal really help me.

Have a good day.

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Can't Just Sit By

Hello lovely readers,

I have had a few thoughts on my mind about this weeks "My World Monday" and I want to let you know what's going on in my life but before I start I want to say "thank you" to you guys my readers. I know I have gone back and forth on this blog from posting a lot to not posting at all. I know I have changed my mind on the focus of this blog a few times and I have probably left you wondering "what is going on in her head" so thank you for staying with me through all my transitions.

Second I want to say that as much as I love this blog... it is going through more transitions. I want this blog to feel comfortable and personal. For people who know me in real life I want this blog to sound genuine and true (I don't want this blog to be a false persona). For the people who don't know me in real life I want you to feel connected. I am trying to blog about the truths in my life from the highs to the lows and all the in between. One transition you might notice is that I am trying to set up a blogging schedule (Monday, Wednesday, and Friday). I am not a professional blogger so I am sure I will miss some days but I hope you guys will stick with me. Another transition I am trying to make is getting my blog more professional (at least in looks). There a few blogs I follow closely and I would love to have more their style, but I still want this blog to be comfortable.

I don't know why but for some reason I picture a big comfy reading chair when I think about how I want this blog to feel. So I will still be posting about my faith, my obsession with period dramas, my writing, the books I am reading and other various things I enjoy. But I have added advertisement to this blog in hopes of getting a little bit of money while doing something I enjoy. There might be some other changes a long the way but as I am not a professional blogger it might come in bits and pieces.

Third, I want to say "I am sorry". I feel sometimes I hide behind my books, my stories that I am writing and even this blog to hide what is really going on in my life and in my heart.

I think I hide because it is easier to share only part of the truth, the truth I like, than to share some things that hurt me to write out. But a blog seems safe, minus a few people I know who read my blog for the most part my readers are anonymous. So in that way I feel I can express myself better with you my readers than sometimes my own friends. But in other ways I can't... I know many readers are anonymous and we will most likely never meet but I still hold myself back because I fear judgement. I fear that if I say to much you may not like what I say and stop reading. I fear that if I speak out for things I believe in I will be called a hypocrite.

I have made mistakes, I have held grudges and I admit I let those grudge fester inside me that they have turned to hate. And I feel like a hypocrite in that way because I claim to love God and Jesus and the Bible talks endlessly about loving people. Yet somehow dislike and bitterness are easier for me than love. I love my family and my friends but the Bible says "love your neighbor as yourself" and I fail miserably at this. So I am sorry.

My church has been doing a series called "Forward" about the story we are moving forward with our money, in our families and in our community. As much as I pretend on the outside to be fine, I know with my thoughts and actions I am not moving the Good News forward.

One thing I have noticed in both my prayer time and in this blog is I talk a lot about changing and doing things but I don't really move towards change. So I can't just sit back, I can't just hide behind my books, or my stories anymore. If I want to change things I am going to have to get going. So this will probably be the biggest transition this blog and my life will be going through. For example: I can't just say I want to be a writer I have to actually get writing. And I can't just say I want to make an impact on this world and do nothing. So the first thing I am going to do is make to get invested in my community around me (not sure exactly what that means but I am keeping my eyes open). 

So I can't just sit by anymore... I hope you will stay with me as I go through this journey.

Books, travel, and other thoughts...oh my

Hello Lovely Readers,

Probably one of my favorite pictures of my niece and I

I am working on a new schedule of blog posting one: I love schedules and two: I love alliterations. So here are my thoughts so far. "My world" Monday where share whats going on in my life whether it is the movies I like, the books I am reading or if I have really deep and insightful thoughts. "Wednesday Writing" where I share my letters project (link to letters) or my thoughts on the writing process as I try to write my first novel. Then I "Frivolous Friday" where I get to share really what ever I like but mostly be pictures or YouTube videos. I am excited to have a schedule although I know next week I will be off as I will be vacation. I know I just got back from Paris and I am jumping on a plane again. Yep! And I am super excited as I will be off to see my sister, hanging out with my niece and nephew and meeting my newest nephew.

First I just finished my 15th book for my 26 book challenge. I read After the War is Over by Jennifer Robson. I read this book as being in the category of "read a book by an author you love" last summer I read her novel Somewhere in France and loved it so when I saw this book in the book store I knew I had to read it. It was good to get back into reading WWI novels as I am still working on my own WWI novel. From the inside flap description:

After four years as a military nurse, Charlotte Brown is ready to leave behind the devastation of the Great War. Moving to busy Liverpool, she throws herself into her with those most in need, only tearing herself away for the lively dinners she enjoys with the women at her boarding house. 
 Just as Charlotte begins to settle into her new circumstances, two messages arrive that will change her life. One is from a radical young newspaper editor who offers her a chance to speak out for those who cannot. The other pulls her back to her past, and to the a man she has tried, and failed to forget. 
As Britain seethes with unrest and postwar euphoria flattens into bitter disappointment, Charlotte must confront long-held insecurities to find her true voice... and the courage to decide if the life she has created is the one she truly wants. 

Idea for new cover

I liked the structure of the story, because it starts with her working in 1919 and every few chapters it has a flash back. It also has me thinking of the structure of my story. Thus far I feel I have written so much back story that it might be draining. I feel I just need to throw Mattie and her friends into WWI and then have flash backs to the back story. Though thinking that is huge because it feels like starting from square one again, but I have given my story so much energy and thought that I want it to be perfect.

So going back to the book: I liked the story of Charlotte and it gave me ideas for my own book. However, I didn't really feel pulled into the story. I meant there were moments that I felt sorry for Charlotte but something about her I didn't relate to. Also I felt Robson threw so many characters at me it was hard to keep them straight. I remember loving Somewhere in France so maybe I had too many high expectations. However it was fast read and I am happy to cross it off my reading list.

I just re-read the description of Somewhere in France and it is about Lilly Ashford and Robert Fraser, who are characters in this book as well so it is kind of sequel to that book but not because it can stand on its own as a book. Also no where does it say "sequel to..." (To read my description of Somewhere  in France click here).

Anyway I wouldn't highly recommend this book as a must read I would say it was a good read (probably 2.5 stars out of 5). Also it was interesting to read about the time between WWI and the Roaring 20s. I know it wasn't a long time but there was definitely a transition, I mean the Roaring 20s didn't happen all at once. It didn't go right from war to party there were deep political struggles post-war. So I liked how this book dealt with it even if it was the central focus. I also liked how the book dealt with the term "shell shock." And it was nice transition book after reading Mary Queen of Scots biography so probably what my mind needing.

I am ending this post with a music video of a song I have recently discovered through listening to Pandora. It is kind of a sad song but I like it... 

Song: Little Did you Know

By: Alex & Sierra 

Link

With my new schedule in the works I will be trying to post Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 9AM EST. I will always try to post it on my Facebook page but sometimes I forget... so just in case don't forget to check back.

Have a good day.

Writing #littleloves

Hello lovely readers, 
A few weeks ago I posted a #littleloves post to update you all on what's going on in my life.

This is like that but with a twist. In my post "Questions while being stuck" I wrote I was going to take a break from blogging. Well as soon as I got back from my trip to Paris I couldn't wait to sit down and write a blog post. I have done and re-done this post a few times but it didn't feel right... so here I am trying again. 

Working on

Lately I have been feeling stuck in my story. I have introduced two new characters Leopold Brashware and Violet Harper. Leopold is suppose to be a romantic tension for Mattie but eventually he will be useful in helping Mattie discover her true feelings for Kelby. Violet Harper, is Mattie's maid in London. I want to grow her character and eventually I want them to end up like Anna and Lady Mary (Downton Abbey). 

Tobey Regbo who play's Francis on the CW Reign is my inspiration (at least in looks) for Leopold. 

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I love Anna Smith, she is full of good advice for Lady Mary.

Thinking About

I am going to make Violet Harper a bigger character and I actually want to have her help Mattie run away to elope with Kelby. So I am going to have to change a few details of the story. 

I have started with a fictitious acknowledgement page...

but maybe I am the only ones who reads those. 

If this story ever gets published perhaps I will have to work with my editors on layout. 

Re-writing

  I feel I have re-written my beginning a thousand times (okay more like five) and its only in it's first draft, but I want it make sense for the story. 

I have usually been the kind of author who gets struck by inspiration and I just go from there... needless to say this path has not lead me to finish any story.

I originally started Mattie's story years ago but then I got distracted by other work "Sisters of Pine Haven" and put Mattie out of my mind. 

But she keeps coming back to me...so I feel determined to finish it. 

My original start was in 2009 (link to that post)   

but it originally started with a free write I did that same year when I first started this blog in order to share my stories

  Link to that post

This blog has gone through a lot of transitions since then but at the heart of it is my desire to write. 

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 Planning Ahead 

Even though I am still re-writing the beginning of this story I have sketched out the epilogue of my story... is that weird? 

It doesn't feel weird it actually feels good because in knowing the end I know where I want to take this story and it has some direction to it.

Why am I stuck?

I wish I knew. 

One reason I think I am stuck is because as much as I think about my writing... I need to make time and actually write. DUH! 

Also as I said I am the kind of writer who usually gets struck by inspiration and from there I just go. However with this story I have plotted out an outline and actually know what I want to happen but yet I let my characters move in the way they want. Which is good and useful but sometimes it throws new things or people at me... for example Leopold. 

 On a personal note: I also think I am stuck because I don't really know that much about romance. I have dated but mostly mostly what I know about romance comes from movies and books. So I feel I don't know how to move Mattie forward in the romantic plot line and therefore I feel stuck. 

However, I find confidence in thinking about Jane Austen, she never married and yet she wrote some of the most romantic stories (I my biased opinion). 

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Pic above is from the movie Miss Austen's Regrets

What to do now?

With all that said and done I think the real challenge will be for me to actually push through and write this story.

Writing will only happen by doing... so I say this ahead of time sorry friends and family if I seem absent to the world, but I am trying to follow my dreams and I hope you will understand. 

Watching

 

All these #little love post have a watching section and I felt I had to share something...

Since getting back from Paris (I will not get tired of saying that) I binged watched on Netflix (maybe another reason I haven't been writing) and I came across the show When The Heart Calls it is a sappy Hallmark Channel original show based off of a Janette Oke book. 

Even though it is sappy and the lines are cheesy I can't help but squeal. It feels like the perfect video escapism. 

 Video above is a fan made video: "Jack and Elizabeth | So Close"

Song: "So Close" by Jon McLaughlin. (Originally from "Enchanted").

Link to video 

Okay that is all for now. 

Hope you guys have a good day.  

Questions while being stuck

Hello Lovely Readers,

I have been excited to post as much as I have done lately, though I feel they have been kind of frivolous. I am all for frivolity but I need to get something off my chest.

I have been feeling rather distant from God lately, actually I can't remember when I felt close to Him.

I am a weird mix of feeling and wanting formulas. I base a lot of my life how I feel about things and how I want people to feel about me. But when it comes to my faith I would love a formula, like if I did A and B then I get C. And that is not how God works. I also pray frequently "God I just want follow you more, but I am not sure what that looks like." In that I am saying I wish I had a model a list of "to dos" to follow. But that is not what faith is about.

Right now I feel stuck, in wanting to move but not knowing the next step.

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I just finished The Chance by Karen Kingsbury, it is a cute story of best friends Nolan and Ellie who on the night before Ellie moves to San Diego they write letters to each other to read 11 years in the future. Over time Nolan gets exactly what he has wanted playing for NBA, but yet he is still full of pain with losing his best friend and his father (shortly after Ellie moves away). At the same time Ellie has stopped believing in God and questions rather He exist and if He does why did He let bad thing happen to her.

I read it because it fulfills my requirement of "reading a book you own but hadn't read." And while reading it I thought it was a cute story with a good message of forgiveness, hope and second chances. It was a quick read which I liked, but nothing really hit me. Until the end.

Through out the book various characters hear God telling them something. I know it is fiction, however I began to wonder does God really speak. If He does, He doesn't speak to me.

I have friends who speak to me and I feel it is God's truth. The best example I can give is I was questioning somethings in my life and I had prayed about them but I hadn't told anyone about my thinking. And then my friend just brought it up in random conversation. I thought that had to be God, there was no other way to explain it. But that hasn't happened in awhile. So I began to blame myself because I know I haven't really been opening myself to God.

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I have used my faith like a checklist. I did my bible time, but then I would get out of bed and it was almost as if nothing changed. I feel my heart with mindless things and I sought completeness or an identity in temporal ideas. This is a pattern I have gotten used to. But when I read The Chance I wanted to hear God.

I am not sure how to listen. I am not sure if I want to hear God, just for some reassurance that I am doing okay, or if I want to hear from Him because I want to know what He wants from me. I would love a formula from Him to tell me what do with my life.

Probably not to live life?

After reading The Chance, I thought I should read some more Christian Lit (maybe if I read enough books I will understand what to do). Also reading Searching For God Know What by Donald Miller fulfills the requirement of "reading a book you began but never finished." But this book has hit me more than I thought. I am 4 chapters in and I have underlined so much. I even begun to write some prayers in it. I also know I will be re-reading it because I know my reading on the T I can't get as deep as I like. So far the book talks a lot about how we seek formulas from God, we want the Bible to be a self help book, and how this is not what God intended. God wanted us to be in a relationship with Him, to know Him personally, and to know who we are in Him. To be honest I have been a Christian since I was twelve though probably not following it until after high school (long story). Anyway, I am still not sure what what knowing God personally means. I am hoping Miller will lay it out... but I doubt he will because writes:

I bring this up because life is complex, and the idea that you can break it down or fix it in a dew steps is rather silly. -pg.14

And if he laid out what it meant to know God personally he would be writing a formula. So I am sure I will finish this book with more questions than answers.

I am not looking for to-do list or formulas but if you have any advice and or Bible passages that have helped you please pass them a long.

Thanks-

P.S.- I am going to be taking a little break from blogging as I am going on vacation with my mom... will post pictures later.

My mom in Florence (almost 9 years ago).

A litte updating

 Hello lovely readers,

I know it has been awhile since I have updated this blog about my life. Sorry about that, there seems to be a lot happening all at once. The biggest news is I have got a full time job. If you have been following my blog (or life) you know that I have been going to graduate school for my masters in history and library science. Since October I was working part time for a start up company doing research on mergers and acquisitions. Yes it is not what I studied in school and my dad teasing me about when I am going to go for my MBA. I joke back and say "I won't say never but not in the foreseeable future." I have been learning a lot and I am glad to have a full time job.

My nephew.

In other news I am happy to announce my newest nephew... I have not met him in person but I plan to see him over the summer and he can expect a lot of kisses. Thus far I have only enjoyed seeing in him on FaceTime and he has captured my heart like my other niece and nephews.

Besides the trip to meet my nephew I am looking forward to my first trip to Paris with my mom in May. My mom and I have been planning this trip for years --I am sorry to my friends who I have been talking about it a lot-- we even have a Pinterest board dedicated to our trip (though I will admit most of the board is full of pics of the Eiffel Tower and desserts I want to eat).

Also I am happy to announce that Spring has finally come to Boston. If you have been following the news you know that Boston was buried under a record snow fall this winter, and the thought of Spring seemed so distant from all us. Now the snow has melted away and there seems to be a refreshing newness to the world around us. 

In spite of this, this week seems to have a cloud over it. Here in Boston we remembered the second anniversary of the Boston Marathon bombing and in my heart I remember the Oklahoma City bombing. On the 19th, it has been twenty years since then. It is hard to think that both my home town and my new home have been rocked by destruction. But I like to think of the strength that has grown from these horrible events. I know I did not lose loved one in these events and I was not injured, but I think events like these can make us scared or they can inspire us and make us remember life is fragile and beautiful.

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Timid or Playing it Safe pt.2

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Hello Lovely Readers,

It has been over 3 years since I wrote the "Timid or Playing it Safe?" And that was about relationships. But I still question am I being timid?

Last year I thought about going on Missions and one of the countries that was a possibility was Tunisia. But things came up 1) I didn't graduate in May and so I couldn't leave move over seas in September and 2) I got lost my passion for it and I reconsidered going. In a way I forgot about it and completed my thesis and have now graduated school.

With the recent violence in Tunisia my heart has been re-awaken to this country. On the one hand I am happy not to be there because I know my mom and family would be anxious for me. However on the other hand I would want to be there to experience it and be able God's love there in this time of turmoil.

Lately I have come to realized that sometimes I play it too safe. I honestly feel trapped between what I want to do and the the things I have to do. Some one asked me "what would you do if you broke out of your comfort zone?" I thought, I like to travel, I like to write, and help people. How can I can take these passions and actually make a difference?

I don't have an answer to that question. But that is my life right now and I will continue to pray about it. One thing I know for sure is I have to trust God more to work through my timidity.

Thanks for reading this short post as I continue to work things out.

Please answer in the comments below "what would you do if you broke out of your comfort zone?"

Little update

Hello,

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I am taking a break from my thesis (just a few minutes)... I can't really take a break my rough draft is due before I go to bed on Nov. 9th. Sadly besides the progress of my thesis I don't have much to update with, but I have this week off from work to get the remaining three sections of my thesis done. Then my thesis advisor has told me once I have submitted it not to think about it until she hands it back to me. As much as I am looking forward to that time I wonder if I can really do that.

Outside of my thesis I am still reading through the Harry Potter series. I am on the fourth book. The first one was hard for me only because I couldn't really visualize anything. However, this book really feels more like escapism than the books. While the first two really introduced me to the characters and the world of Hogwarts I feel Prisoner of Azkaban  and this book have really developed the characters. Also this one feels much more like literature than a kid book (no offense). But sometimes I will admit I get a bit lost in all the characters. I think I have asked my roommate a few times if Peeves is a ghost.

Also, over the weekend I got a real itch to do more creative writing. I found this great pin and I could totally see Shane saying that to Daphne.

"Do you like the person you've become"
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Then I saw this writing prompt pin...

and I thought I could do a quick free write with it. But I just stared blankly at the computer, not able to think how I would fill in the blanks and not sure what I would write. Though I wanted to write I couldn't. My mind feels like such a haze. To remedy my desire to write I did take some time typing up part of my story I had already hand written (that felt like such a release). Now I want share part of it with you....

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For this part of the story Mattie is upset at her mother and runs to the back woods where she finds Kelby.

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"Lady Mathilda, I like the sound of that." He made her giggle. "I am glad to see you smile again."

            

"Thank you Kelby."

Example of a temple
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At that moment they heard the over cast sky give a little grumble and the pale gray sky was now presenting them a summer shower. Kelby without thinking took Mattie's hand and lead them to the Temple of Diana. It wasn't really temple just a folly, much in the style of other Grecian temples that had been popular throughout the eighteenth century. It was the best place to wait out the summer storm. Even though it was the closest structure to the backwoods they were still soaked causing a shiver over her whole body. Kelby saw her shiver and pulled her close into his arms and held her there. Mattie couldn't remember any man outside of Marcus who had ever hugged her.

           "Come let's get you warm," he said once the rain stopped.

            "Oh Kelby I do not want to go home. I cannot face her, not yet."

            "Miss Mathilda, one must never be afraid to face your fears." With that he took his thumb and brushed the hair that fallen in front of her face. "But, perhaps you need some tea to strengthen you up." And he gave her a little smile.

            She could not say what she was feeling, she was only thirteen and all she felt this way before. She had trembled when he touched her cheek but it didn't scare her it felt comforting.

            Mattie was so happy when he took her back in the way through Cranston Court.

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I will admit that I was inspired by two scenes from Jane Austen films for this scene...The first one being the first proposal from Pride and Prejudice (2005). 

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And the second one being from Northanger Abbey after Mr. Tilney and Catherine have been out riding and caught in the rain and he wipes a bit of mud off Catherine's face. It is such a simple action but it makes a big spark.

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Okay back to the grind.