I know it has been awhile since I have updated this blog about my life. Sorry about that, there seems to be a lot happening all at once. The biggest news is I have got a full time job. If you have been following my blog (or life) you know that I have been going to graduate school for my masters in history and library science. Since October I was working part time for a start up company doing research on mergers and acquisitions. Yes it is not what I studied in school and my dad teasing me about when I am going to go for my MBA. I joke back and say "I won't say never but not in the foreseeable future." I have been learning a lot and I am glad to have a full time job.
My nephew.
In other news I am happy to announce my newest nephew... I have not met him in person but I plan to see him over the summer and he can expect a lot of kisses. Thus far I have only enjoyed seeing in him on FaceTime and he has captured my heart like my other niece and nephews.
Besides the trip to meet my nephew I am looking forward to my first trip to Paris with my mom in May. My mom and I have been planning this trip for years --I am sorry to my friends who I have been talking about it a lot-- we even have a Pinterest board dedicated to our trip (though I will admit most of the board is full of pics of the Eiffel Tower and desserts I want to eat).
Also I am happy to announce that Spring has finally come to Boston. If you have been following the news you know that Boston was buried under a record snow fall this winter, and the thought of Spring seemed so distant from all us. Now the snow has melted away and there seems to be a refreshing newness to the world around us.
In spite of this, this week seems to have a cloud over it. Here in Boston we remembered the second anniversary of the Boston Marathon bombing and in my heart I remember the Oklahoma City bombing. On the 19th, it has been twenty years since then. It is hard to think that both my home town and my new home have been rocked by destruction. But I like to think of the strength that has grown from these horrible events. I know I did not lose loved one in these events and I was not injured, but I think events like these can make us scared or they can inspire us and make us remember life is fragile and beautiful.
Every Easter I love watching the wonderful musical Easter Parade.
(Since I originally posted this back in 2012 the video I had shared has been removed here is another great scene)
When ever holidays come around it is funny what you remember, things I remember from Easter...
1. I am not sure if we watched it on Easter or not but I remember watching the movie Easter Parade at my Nana and Grandpa's house and now every Easter I want to watch it.
2. Easter dresses- I remember every year having to wear white tights and patent leather shoes, at least until I was in my teens and the first year I did not wear those items I felt so grown up.
Some Examples of my Easter Dresses:
My sister, Granddad and I
My dad and I.
3. Bunnies -I remember every year my mom got us a stuffed bunny for Easter, one of them was rose colored and I named her Felicity. We put all our bunnies on top of our fireplace mantel and we called it bunnies on parade.
4. Easter Brunch- When we were at my mom's house we always went out for a special brunch, they were probably the nicest meals we ate growing up.
5. New York City- when I was in 6th grade my mom took my sister and I to New York City and we stayed in the Plaza Hotel.Sad to say I don't remember much about that trip. I went to the Disney store near time square and I begged my mom that instead of my Easter bunny to buy a vintage looking Eeyore. I know it might be silly but it is still the stuff animal I sleep with.
6. Easter egg hunts- I remember when my Grandma would put bible verses in little eggs... when you are kid you look forward to the candy so I always felt chipped getting Easter eggs with verses. Now I am glad that she tried to keep Easter still close to God, when so many people make it about the Easter bunny. Also I remember my younger cousin, who is at least seven years younger than me, enjoyed Easter egg hunts much longer than we did but I felt bad she didn't have some one to play with so I pretended to be excited about Easter egg hunts even when I was fourteen.
7. Peeps- I know a lot of people find peeps disgusting. But I love them. One year in college I put on Facebook about how I didn't get any Peeps that year and she sent me boxes of Peeps. But I am a traditionalist I only eat Peeps at Easter time.
It is Christmas time and I feel this a curious time of year, at least for me. It is a time of reflecting about the year that shortly ending and it is a time that we are preparing for the year to come.
Looking back at this year I feel this year has been filled a lot with my thesis...and maybe thats how it should have been but lately I have felt I spent so much energy, so much time, and devotion to it that I kind of lost focus on what the most important things are in my life. On mentally preparing this post I began to look through my photos (on Facebook) to remember all that has happened over this year. Some of the highlights have been getting to spend so much time with my family; I spent some time with my family in May, August, October and just recently when my parents came up here to see me present my thesis. If you don't know I live in Boston and my family lives all over so I usually see them only twice a year (minus skype dates) so I feel that has been really neat this year. Another highlight this year has been moving in with my current roommate and friend. Last year (until end of August) it was a struggle with my apartment. I never felt like my last place was home. Moving into my new place has felt like home the moment I started unpacking my boxes.
with niece and nephew in May
So as I began to think about 2014 and everything that happened, there have some parts of it I wish I could put behind me and never think about them again, but I know those moments have shaped me. And instead of looking at them with regret I am going to try to give them over to God and let him use them as moments of development. While 2014 has been a mix of both of ups and downs (as years are) it is what 2015 brings that I am most interested in.
Lately, I have been praying a lot to hear God's voice to feel his guidance but in reality I have felt distant from God. I know He is with me and He is the hope I have anchored my life to. Hebrews 10:23- Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful- has been a verse I have had to repeat to myself a lot through the year. I think it is more true lately as I am coming to terms with the fact I am done with school.
Birthday celebrations
For 23 some odd years, I have been a student and I have almost placed my identity in the fact I am a student. Especially in undergrad and grad school my life has been about the next homework assignment, the next chapter to read, and the next paper to write. In grad school I felt life was on hold until I finished school and sometimes I felt angry I couldn't do things because I was in school.
I have been praying for God to use me in such a way that I would make an impact in this world for Him. I have also been praying to hear God's voice and feel His guidance. But I have felt stuck and sometimes useless. I am not blaming Him for this... actually I am holding myself responsible. Because I know I have filled my life with clutter, I sought fulfillment from temporary things. So one thing I really hope for 2015 that He prune and cut things out of my life that are not from Him. This is going to take work on my end, because it is easy for me to turn on the TV, go on Facebook or Pinterest, listen to Spotify and block Him out. But I don't want to do that anymore.
Being a bride's maid in my friends wedding, in July.
On Monday I prayed:
Lord I pray you lead me. Lord there are so many big questions on my mind now. What do I do for a job? Where do I go from here? Lord I need your guidance with these questions. Lord, you are the only one that makes my life make sense and I pray oh Lord I pray you lead me on.
Then on Tuesday morning I read the passage:
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -- his good, pleasing and perfect will. -Romans 12:2.
Visiting my sister's family in August...
Sadly my nephew was in the hospital.
With nephew in hospital I got to spend a lot
of time with niece... blessing in disguise
These things may not seem immediately linked but they are in my mind. I think one thing I really need in upcoming year is to renew my mind and heart in God. In that I believe I will be able to truly know what God wants from me. However, I have no idea what that looks like.
Over the fall my church went through a series called "Resistance" and it was about remembering why we have the Sabbath, a time of rest, a time of remembering what is important to us, and a time to remember what God has done for us, I think over the last year and especially this last fall I have kind of forgotten that. I say my faith, my friends and family are the most important things in my life... but I felt distant from those things. I have felt very much like I have been drifting through life, not really making connections. So, another thing I would like in 2015 is to really invest or reinvest in things that are important to me.
Here I want to say I am sorry to anyone that I was not there for over the last year...even if you understood why I am sorry I got so blocked by other things I could not see what was important.
Fancy night with roommate.
On the job front I will take my time to figure things out. Fortunately this year I have been blessed with two part time jobs that have really been relief when I have been stressed about money. I think it is important right now to get things worked out in my relationship with God... so I am not going to dwell on that.
I am thankful for this year I have had the support system (friends and family) that I have had. I don't know how I would have been able to get through the struggles I have gone through... and I promise I will not forget it.
I am excited to see what 2015 has in store for me and I am already starting to shape my New Year's resolutions.
1. Invest or re-invest in the relationships I have
2. Work on transforming my mind in order to understand God's purpose for my life.
Those are 2 pretty big things so I will leave it at that for now... if I fail I will (with God) pick back up and try again.
There are other things I am looking forward to as well in 2015.
1. My sister and brother-in-law are expecting their third baby... from the pics above you can see they make cuties so I am excited for this new little one.
their birth announcement.
2. My mom and I have been dreaming about and plotting a trip to Paris and now done with school, we have been planning one for May.
Mom and I from recent trip to Boston
3. Also I have been thinking about going on another short-term missions trip. I remember how impacting my trip to Honduras was and my church does a trip to the Dominican Republic every year and watching the videos of the trips have made me want to go.
4. I am also looking forward to getting back into doing some of my own fun writing. Though I might be writing more with pen and paper than typing... my eyes are getting tired looking at word document.
I love Period Dramas and I am so happy to find so many bloggers have a love for them too... probably my favorite thing about blog is that you can find a little community of other people who love the same things as you do.
Anyway, I was inspired by Miss Dashwood's post title "A Quick Succession of Busy Nothings" a line from Jane Austen's Mansfield Park. It seemed to be a fun way to tell her readers what is happening in her life. She said in her post that she doesn't update her readers much on what is happening with her life... Well that is not the same for me as for the most part I use this blog as an online journal but I liked her format so I am coping it. Though I have to change some of the topics as I don't sow or act.
So here we go my "Busy Nothings"...
~~Reading As school is starting I decided to end my "Summer Reading" list, but this does not mean I have stopped reading. I am currently reading two books (usually something I can't do well). One is The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis. And The Winding Road by Cynthia Harrod Eagles. This is apart of her Morland Dynasty series that have become addicted at least the ones about the Edwardian time period and WWI. This book is about 1920's and all the flash of the Jazz Age.
My favorite book of hers
Full of great descriptions of Edwardian Society
~~Listening I listen to a great a variety of things from Country (as long as its not to twangy), folk, some pop, musicals, and Christian. But lately I have been enjoying Mumford and Sons, All the Sons and Daughters, for King and Country, and Mercy Me. But my go to song has been "Arms" by Christina Perri. I fell in love with it when I saw a fan made video of Parks and Rec music video set to that song.
I know I have featured this video before but I still love it.
~~Decorating As I have said a lot on this blog... I have moved into my new apartment. And I am happy to say I feel very settled into this new place. Also I have wall in the living room that is very much my fashion wall. Fortunately my roommate and I have very similar taste or she doesn't mind my obsession with vintage fashion.
My wall
I am also going through and "re-decorating" my blog. I have changed the background and I have taken down my "good reads" section on the side and replaced it with some quotes. I had those "good read" books up for close to 2 years and I thought it was just time to mix things up...don't want this blog to get stale. Might do some other changes but essence of this blog will be the same.
~~Painting I have never been a big person to paint my nails... at least, it seemed like a hassle and painting my right hand looked like the work of Jackson Pollack. But after my friend's wedding, my nails looked so pretty I have tried to make more of an effort painting them.
Probably my favorite picture of the night... not because I am in the front
but because it was such a cute moment.
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~~Watching probably too much TV. My new roommate has awesome cable... I haven't had this much cable since my dorm years and I must say it is addicting. Today I discovered Boy Meets World has reruns on MTV2.
~~Working work is work not much changes but I am trying to get my mind wrapped around the idea of finishing school and entering the "real world." Still not sure if library science is truly what I want to pursue... but right now I need to just focus on finishing school. Until I do enter the "real world" I am going to enjoy days to sleep in and naps.
~~Anticipating There is currently a lot I am anticipating... being done with Grad School (though that comes with a lot of angst as well as some good things). Lots of people look forward to fall but I am just enough as a pessimist to know fall means winter is coming and I hate winter (it last way too long) but I am looking forward to Pumpkin flavors everywhere. I think the one thing I am looking forward the most is my sister having another little nugget.
This was their announcement
I love being Aunt Blaire and so far my sister and brother-in-law have made cute kids so I am totally excited for this little one to come a long.
~~Writing the answer should be obvious... my thesis, But as the next topic is "Studying" I will say I am writing my story The Grand Days (working title). I am doing a mix of both writing it and typing it up. I have never been one to stare at a blank screen and write creatively so I always have to hand write my stories. Then as they progress I start to type them up.
~~Studying As I have stated a few times. This semester I am writing my thesis. So I am learning a lot about working women's lives and their fashion at the turn of the 20th century. I am hoping to see how this liberated women before they got the vote. I wrote an undergraduate thesis and for that I wrote about the antebellum movement to get rid of the corset...which as you know was not successful. I was kind of hoping in this time I would find women throwing out their corsets but I haven't found much literature on that. But I have found a lot of literature on more and more women being in control of their own money and therefore found more freedom that way... that might be my approach.
A classic picture of a clerical worker
~~Reminders I love motivational quotes so I have a rather large pinterest board on them... but its probably time for me to start reading them
From previous post... the last we were all together in May Sadly we did not take a picture this time
In my last post Blogging Break I wrote how I was feeling burnt out and how I was out of words to write... well that was and sort of true. Not to dish all my private information on a blog but I had just ended a relationship (and while it was a short one it is hard to walk away from it and when I wrote that post it was hard to even think of what to do or say but I had to walk away).
Left pic: E and I in hospital
Right pic: E at home feeling much better
So after this I was so happy to have this vacation to look forward to... well it wasn't the vacation my sister and I had planned. My nephew had to have surgery because of a neck infection. So he spent 5 days in the hospital and I was at home taking care of my niece while both my sister and brother-in-law were spending time in the hospital. It was a hard week because the doctors kept giving conflicting messages about rather or not he would not need surgery or when he would be released. One doctor told them on Monday he wouldn't be released till Saturday while another was saying in a day or two. I was on the sidelines while I was taking care of my niece but I could tell it was a big struggle for my sister and brother-in-law. Personally I was happy to be so busy I didn't have to focus on what I had just left behind in Boston.
One on one time with niece was awesome.
Well then sadly vacation had to end and now I am back in Boston... and life hit me before I even took off on my flight home. I have a lot on my mind... my upcoming move (which I am excited about living with my friend I just hate moving), some expenses that seem to never go away, my thesis and some other things.
As I posted on my Blogging Break post I have been reading through passages on the word trust. That has been hard topic to take in. As much as I think I trust in God, I still worry and I still get anxious over little things. I am currently re-reading The Princess by Lori Wick and there is a section about worrying. Prince Nikolai is worried about his marriage to Shelby and at the same time his pastor is giving a sermon on worrying and calling it a sin. The pastor says "When we worry we say to God 'I can't trust You. You're not doing Your job, so I'm going to step in and take over'"(p. 134). Then today in my quiet time I was reading Luke and I read Luke 12:22-34, where Jesus warns about worry (isn't it amazing when things like this all come together.) I think God is really trying to tell me to let go of my worries and truly trust in him.
In Matthew 6:25-34 (similar passage to Luke) Jesus says "Are not much more valuable than they?" "They" are the birds of the air who do not sow or reap but yet God takes care of them. He is saying then won't God take care of you if you are more valuable to God than birds. Yes... of course! I believe that God will take care of me so why do I worry, why do I let myself get consumed with worry... I am honestly not for sure. Maybe it is human nature to worry, but I don't want my worrying to get in the way of my walk with God or let it block me from awesome things in life. So since worrying comes as a second nature to me... this might be a life long struggle but I hope to get better at it as I go.
With these thoughts in mind and others... I want to keep writing but I don't know if I can be as consistent as I tried to be this summer. But don't worry I will come back I love writing and in writing I find peace.
I have been thinking and writing about my passion. I think as I face hopefully my last semester it has somewhat been haunting me. I have basically been in school for the last 23 years minus the year I took off in between undergrad and graduate school. When I went from undergraduate to graduate school I was on a plan that I thought about my sophomore year of college. I knew then me majoring in history was not going to get me a career so still following my dream of being Abigail Chase (the girl from National Treasure...read Adulthood Angst) I looked into Library Science school and that was the plan.
Since then things really haven't changed... but my thoughts have changed on life. One that year I had planned to take off became a year and half and during that year and a half I probably faced the hardest heart ache I have had to face. And while I struggled on this side of it I have felt a lot of growth in my life and my faith.
Well when I started Library School I had my heart set on working in the Library of Congress, I had visited after my senior year of school, and it was just an incredible place of books... and the geek in me could not help but falling in love with it. But over time I discovered that the Library of Congress in all its big and grandness I probably wouldn't be able to interact with people as much as I would like to. Yes some librarian actually want to talk to people. I have had my mind set on being a reference archivist because I figured it would be a nice blend of handling old documents, interacting with people, and helping with research (which I actually like to do).
Maybe I am just feeling burnt out by school, but while my mind has been set on being a reference archivist, my heart has been longing for something else. Well generically I am passionate about my friends, family and my faith. But yep its pretty generic. Since I have been thinking, praying and posting about my want of passion, I have been thinking: When was the last time I was truly passionate about something? During my prayer time my answer came to me: Honduras, Living Water, those children.
I know I have probably over used this picture but I love it
I have always had a heart for children from my nieces and nephews (biological and the friend's kids I have "adopted") and for a long time it has been on my heart to adopt. I don't want any kid to go through life feeling un-special or unloved. And if I can provide that love and that feeling of special-ness... then what do I care if they look like me or not. That is a long term dream and passion of mine... but what about the present?
We are still going through the book of James in my church. If you know anything about the book of James he is really about doing your faith and not just saying you have faith. My pastor said something that struck me that "we create the kingdom of God here on earth." I had never thought of it that way. I mean I knew "our goal" as Christians was to bring heaven to Earth (typing that out...sounds like weird wording) maybe better to say to represent the Kingdom of God here on Earth. But I never thought about creating that... as a wanna-be-writer I think about creating a lot. So I liked the analogy of creating the kingdom of God here on Earth.
I think that is what I need to do more in my life... doing my faith not just reading my Bible, praying and talking about my faith. Not that those are bad but I don't think they are enough. I am not for sure what that looks like right now so I am just praying about it. But I know being open to God and what He wants will lead me down the right path.
So I love my birthday, not because of the gifts, but because it means my friends (from all the different parts of my life) get together and it is lots of fun. I have had some friends that have been in my life for a long time so we have lots of birthday memories together (LOVE!). This year has been no different very memorable...
niece, sister, nephew and I
First lets go back to last Friday when I flew to my mom's house in the desert of California. We have had a very long winter here in Boston so it was nice to pull out my summer clothes and feel the very warm sun on my skin. Though it was mother's day my mom treated me to mother daughter pedicures and the woman giving me a pedicure asked "you're so pale where are you from?" "Boston," I said though being of Irish and English descent I will never be dark. My mom basically spoiled me for the week treating me to good dinners out and one of my favorite meals (Stuffed green peppers). She bought me some new cute shoes and a relaxing week (a massage, a few strawberry margaritas, and other treats). While the treats were good it was great to spend the week with my sister, niece and nephew. Also my Grandma made me dinner at her house and bought me my favorite cake (German Chocolate). So thanks mom and step-dad for the awesome treat of that week...
Awesome auntie time
with step-dad
Then when I got back to Boston I had a great dinner with some of my good girl friends where I got a some
bookish things and a Starbucks gift card. Then today I received a one year subscription to Netflix. Books, coffee and movies... my friends know me so well. Okay, I know I started out this post saying I don't care about the gifts and I really don't...a co-worker asked me "what I wanted?" and I couldn't think of anything. I feel so blessed that I can't think of anything I want. It is not about the gifts it is about having friends and family that I know that will love and support me.
However, I don't want anything materialistically my friend asked me at dinner "What is one thing I want to do this year?" And my answer is to finish my thesis and FINALLY graduate grad-school. I can't imagine my life not being a student but I sure would like to.
Here are some memorable birthdays since moving to Boston...
From top left down:
21st birthday dinner with friends and Dad, then getting baptized the next day... great to have dad for both occasions
Going to my first Red Sox game and it being Lester's no hitter
Graduating college a few days before my 23rd birthday.
It wasn't really for my birthday but my bible study went to Rochester, NY for the Lilac festival and it was around my birthday time so I remember it as my 24th birthday
Doing Karaoke for my 25th birthday
Birthday party to help me raise support to go to Honduras
Last year going to Newport with my mom and seeing the beautiful mansions.
I heard this song through some random search on Spotify a couple of months ago and loved it. At that time I was going through some hard emotional things and spent a night crying on the phone with my dad. God has truly blessed me in my relationship with my Dad and my Step-Dad, though they are far away... they love and support me. So this post is for them and all the dads in my life. I have other great examples in my friends, brother-in-law, and grandparents on strong and loving men. Thank you for being men to look up to.
my dad and I
my Granddad and I
My dad was always good at hanging us upside down... and we loved it.
my granddad, my sister and I
my grandpa, my sister, and I
my grandpa and I
my grandpa visiting when we were living in California
my step-dad and I on our cruise
my dad and I, just having fun
my dad and I dancing at my sister's wedding
my step-dad and I at my college graduation
my brother-in-law as dad and my dad as Pops
(yeah I cut my sister and I out of this pic)
Step-dad and I last Christmas decorating cookies
On vacation in May
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!
I tried to put these pictures in chronological order oddly going through my computer/facebook I couldn't find any pictures from my middle school/high school years...maybe it is good not to have my awkward teen years documented.
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