Happy Mother's Day

To all the mom's in my life, rather it be sisters, friends or my moms. 

I love you very much and thank you for all that you do. 

My friend and her baby a few days after she was born 

My mom and I

My sister dancing with my niece

My sister and my niece baking cookies

My mom, with my sister and I on a mother's day

My mom and I visiting the Biltmore Estate. 

My step-mom and I visiting Plymouth...sorry this pic is so dark

My mom and I when I graduated college. 

My step mom and I when I graduated college.

My grandmas... the ultimate moms.

I can't wait to be a mom... I have had such inspiring women in my life.

But right now I am happy to be Abba (Aunt Blaire).

I feel like an Edith

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If you have watched the season finale of Downton Abbey you have seen this scene. 

You see how desperate she is for love and when I first watched this scene I thought, how pathetic for Edith to say "If you think I am going to give up on some one who says I am lovely." But I can't get this scene out of my head, I think I am like Lady Edith. Through out of the seasons we have watched Edith fall for any guy who gives her attention. First it was Matthew when she pathetically shows him around the churches, then she tries to capture the boring man's attention, and worst of all she kisses that married man this season. I have never gone that far but I feel I am too much like Edith. We have a lot of things in common both of us have sisters who are married and we are the middle daughters and I feel we both do things behind the scenes that no one really notices. And some times comparatively I feel myself the plain Jane, just like Edith is compared to her sisters and we have the red head thing going on. (But no worries I am not the back stabbing girl like Edith). 

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Back to my point, I can see where Edith is coming from when she says the line "if you think I am going to give up some one who says I am lovely". I think Edith does the things she does to get noticed rather good or bad she seems desperate for attention. I have lately noticed how "desperate" I am for love. In my my post "A little bit of light" I wrote about how I felt unworthy for love. But it is not the love you see in fairy tales or the love God has for us but the desperate feeling of acceptance. I think deep down I am desperate for acceptance and worthiness. I seek that from the world but the truth is true acceptance only comes from God. And what's amazing God already accepts me, He calls me worthy. So why do I seek it?

I am reading Beth Moore's book, Praying God's Word. And she has a chapter on unbelief. It is not that I don't believe in him. I have a hard time believing God truly accepts me and truly finds me worthy. That is something I need to pray through. Beth Moore writes out prayers to say in her chapter the one I liked the most.

Father, I pray that the eyes of the heart may be enlightened

in order that I may know the hope to which You have called me, 

the riches of Your glorious inheritance in the saints, and 

Your incomparably great power for us who believe! (Eph. 1:18-19) 

I realize that my seeking acceptance from the world might be a struggle all my life, but I have to work on my belief that God called me and continuously calls me worthy. And that is bigger and grander than any earthly acceptance. 

I found this today in my quiet time...

If the Lord delights in a man's way,

he makes his steps firm;

though he stumble, he will not fall,

for the Lord upholds him with his hand.

Psalm 37:23,24

The hopeful romantic strikes again

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This pic is not true about me, I love Valentine's Day. 

My co-worker hates Valentine's Day because of the forced affection it causes. I didn't have a good comeback then but I have now thought of one. Valentine's Day is not suppose to be the only day you show your love to some one, you are suppose to do it all the time it is just a good reminder of the love you have in your life. Just like Thanksgiving it is not suppose to be the only time we are thankful for the things we have in our life it is just a good reminder. While I do not have a sweet heart this Valentine's day I love thinking about all the love I do have.

I love the fact that my Grandpa sends me a Valentines day card. I love looking back on Valentines day and remembering when my dad sent me balloons to my day care and that in high school my friends and I would send each other carnations. It is not only on Valentine's Day that I remember I love them but it is nice to have a day set aside in order to show the ones you love how important they are to you. 

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY 

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Love is all around

Hello Lovely Readers,

This not for the photo challenge but the last few days in my walks around my neighborhoods I notices some tagging signs. I saw the top one on a Sunday as I was walking to church. Of course I was running late and I hoped the van would still be there when I came home... and it was. I thought it was just a good little reminder.

This one is on a mail box near my apartment and noticed it a couple of days ago. 

I know it is illegal to vandalize but I liked the little reminder about what is probably the most important thing in life so I thought I would share it with you.  

Hope you have a lovely weekend. 

Love is in the Air

One of my favorite bloggers Desirous of Everything and a few other bloggers have started a February Comment Love Challenge. Here are some of the things she wrote about the challenge:
I don't know about you guys, but I sort of live for comments on my blog.  A blog comment let's me know that someone is actually reading what I wrote and that someone actually liked it enough to say something about it.  I mean, that's kind of a big deal right?


So are you up for the challenge?  Here is how it will work.  When you link up below, your blog will appear on the first four blogs and creators of this challenge.  We encourage you to follow all of these blogs if you do not already!  Adding your blog to the linky tool means that you are ready to participate in the Comment Challenge which starts February 1 and ends on February 14 just in time for Valentines Day!  Get it?  Comment Love??

What do you need to do?  Comment on at least 3 blogs a day for two weeks straight.  The purpose of the link devise below will encourage participants to comment on fellow participant's blogs.  Discover new bloggy friends and start conversations.  However, you are allowed to comment on any blogs that you like. 


I hope you look at her blog Desirous of Everything join the challenge and spread the love with your comments. 

I have been watching the 1st season of Gilmore Girls

so to start this spreading of the love here is a great love scene...

"I love you, you idiot"

Timid or playing it safe?

When I wrote my "A Little Road Mapping" post... I found some great images/quotes that talk about risk.

Just a little refresher

But my favorite one probably comes from the movie Hitch

Because that's what people do... they leap and hope to God they can fly!
 Because otherwise, we just drop like a rock... wondering the whole way down...
"why in the hell did I jump?"
But here I am Sarah, falling. And there's only one person that makes me feel like I can fly...
That's you. -Hitch

Now I know all these quotes are talking about love but I believe everything in life worth something comes with risk.

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

- 2 Timothy 1:7

Now in some ways I am all for caution. I mean we are all very cautious with our money, our family, and crossing the street. But I wonder sometimes when we play it too safe? This is still an idea I am working on and thinking through so I am not sure if my sentences will make that much sense (sorry).

I wrote in my post on road mapping and my post "A thought on peace" that I know I have made mistakes and that I am worried that I allow myself to be controlled by my mistakes. That some times leads me into timidity... I am afraid to leap and hope I can fly sometimes because the weight of the mistakes hold me down. It is like a rock tied to my foot that weighs so much I can't leap. But faith is not always an easy walk through the park sometime is it is a big giant leap and not knowing where you are going to land.

While I so wholeheartedly agree with guarding your heart (Proverbs 4:23) I think sometimes we get it the idea wrong. I know I used to see this passage as the "okay" on putting a wall around my heart and blocking people out. But I don't think that is what this verse is talking about. It is not saying put up a fort around your heart and let nobody in I think it is saying let God stand in front of your heart and give Him judgement of who to let in and who to keep out. For some weird reason I see God in this role as a Roman solider (I have no idea why).

Once again this is not all about love but sometimes love can be the biggest risk of all. I know I am very conservative in my dating habits. I don't believe in just casual dating I believe you date to see if it could lead to marriage but that doesn't always mean it will lead to marriage. Sometimes you have to risk heart break to see but I think it is worth the risk. You have to put yourself on the line and see if it work because if you don't nothing will ever work. God can do great things in your life if you are willing to let him road map your adventure but how much can he do in your life if you are just sitting around. 

This verse just came to my mind while I was writing that last part... I haven't really made the connection yet.

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:16-19 (some of my favorite verses)

While I can talk that I am all about taking risk I still find my life very much on the cautious side. I don't always like putting things on the line because I am afraid of a "no." So I am still trying to come to terms with not living a life of timidity and guarding your heart it feels like tight rope walking.

So here are the quotes I have to remember...

Because sometimes life is worth the leap.

A Sap at Heart

I was going to write and post this Tuesday but I had to get some actual work done..

Does any one still love Dawson's Creek?... Well even though I haven't watched it in years and my copy of the 4th season that I own is buried in my guilty pleasure pile, Monday night while I was procrastinating doing my homework I found my self watching sappy YouTube videos of Pacey and Joey. Yes I openly admit I like Pacey over Dawson. Basically what I am saying is I am a sap at heart.

I know most people will not be surprised when they read this but I kind of am...just writing it. I am sappy romantic person deep down. Some times I feel I try to be independent and tough on the outside. But deep down I believe in soul mates, I believe you can find some one that compliments you so well it was as if you were made for each other, and I can't wait till the day I walk down the aisle to the man I am going to spend the rest of my life with.

But I can wait because I know the Lord has it all planned out for me and I love being on this journey of seeing what God brings next to my life. I have no reason to doubt it, even though I might get upset and impatient, God has giving me so much...Boston, a great church, a great group of friends that are like family, a supporting family, and into the Grad school I have dreamt of going to since I moved to Boston. I have to remind myself when I get impatient or annoyed that he has given me so much why would he not take care of this too. So I am waiting and right now enjoying the life of a single girl.

Until then I think I will keep watching shows like Dawson's Creek, Gilmore Girls and reading books from Jane Austen or Jennifer Donnelly. Where I think the heros and heriones with all their flaws teach us to fight for love. And honestly that's the kind of fighter I want to be.


You can find all my pics at Pinterest

I will also be praying for my future husband and praying for our relationship that we will have together.


In case you were wondering this is my dream dress

Bitten by the bug

What bug you ask? The Downton Abbey Bug that is.

If you have not seen it... oh you are missing out. In my post on Weekend Loves I wrote how I discovered this show. Well over the weekend I watched most of the first season on PBS.com but sadly they were off line before I could finish the season. So I sought out a copy and found a good price copy on Amazon.com. I was quite impressed with Amazon as I ordered a copy on Tuesday and when I got home on Thursday I had discovered it had arrived. YEAH!!! Also because I am impatient I have found some links that got me to the second season. See what a little googling can do.

The Sisters (Lady Edith, Lady Sybil, Lady Mary)

It is hard to explain the greatness of this beautiful costume drama but I have got swept up in it all.

If you haven't watched it... well you should. But to explain it starts in 1912 right after the sinking of Titanic and we quickly learn that Lord Grantham's only heir (his nephew) was on the ship and died. Now the property and title will be left to his third cousin Matthew Crawley (my latest hollywood crush). And at first no one can except him... I mean he is an upper class lawyer not a gentleman.

Matthew Crawley 

Dowager Lady Grantham 

There is a great scene when he first comes to town where he explains he will get a job, and Lord Grantham asks says he will need to learn the property and he says I can do that on the weekend and Maggie Smith (Lord Grantham's mother) asks "what are weekends?"
But eventually Matthew Crawley gets into the hearts of the people at Downton Abbey especially Lady Mary (Lord Grantham's oldest daughter). But there is so much more than this love story. That is one plot line I love. I do hope Lady Mary and Matthew will get together in the end but it is so complicated and Lady Mary with all her snobbery and stubbornness is a great heroine in the making.

Mr. Bates

Then there is the downstairs plot line I love with Mr. Bates and Anna. Mr. Bates is Lord Grantham's valet and Anna is a house maid. And their love is quiet and tender for each other but it makes my heart flutter when ever they are in the same scene.

Anna 

And there is Daisy, a young girl in the kitchen who repeatedly abused by the head cook. She loves Thomas, a footman, and William, another footman watches in vain to love her. But Carson, the butler, is probably my favorite downstairs character. He has such honor and pride in how the house of Downton Abbey is run and he makes sure the house runs properly. But he does have a soft spot for the family and the staff he over sees.I feel like I am leaving things out.

Lady Sybil

Back upstairs there is Lady Sybil, the youngest daughter, who is going to change the world. She has a voice on politics, mostly concerning women's rights and she is determined to see one of the house maids hired to be secretary. And when the war comes she goes to help the war movement she becomes a nurse.

Here Sybil is learning how to cook

All the drama (both upstairs and downstairs) is so wonderful to get swept up along in and some times watching it I wish I could go back and live in this world. But I guess I am highly romanticizing it. If you haven't watched yet and are going to seek it out now I recommend you set aside an afternoon to watch and enjoy it because like a good book you can get swept up into it...and one episode is not enough.

A day of B

I have discovered a new blog A Day of K she has a few post about being an English major and not being able to define what she wants to do with her life at least not in words.

The closest I will ever get to fame
She writes about how she didn't have a name for the career she wanted. And how people would ask her "if she wanted to teach" or "did she want to read professionally" to which she answered no to. She actually wrote to Jodi Picoult and got some inspiring words.

This post got me thinking of two things in my life. When I got started working on my history degree lots of people asked me if I wanted to teach... I said I had no patience to teach. I just loved history. My mom had always told me college was not job training it was life preparation so it didn't matter really what I majored in. My dad had different thoughts on college always wanting me to take business classes, I didn't. I majored in American History with a minor in Women's studies. Where has that gotten me? A continued interest in history, but from the social side not political, also into grad school where I am continuing in history and library science. I also want to write historical fiction... for that I'm going to have to do research which I am fine with... I love research. I am a geek what can I say.

The next thing this post reminded me of when I wrote to my favorite author Jennifer Donnelly (more info on her at bottom of page), gushing over how much I loved the Winter Rose (the 2nd book in her trilogy) the fact that she wrote me back at all was amazing. I told her about my blog and she said she loved it and wished me luck on my writing endeavors. And the quote I have at the top of my page keeps me going some times on my writing.

Ain't no thang - freelancing
First grabbed my attention because of Alexis Bedel... hello, I love Gilmore Girls.

So I started reading this post. She reflects on how she had lunch with her high school English teacher and the teacher telling her how the teacher wanted to write but couldn't make it work.

My mom has always said I was a good writer and when I started this blog and started reviewing movies my Grandpa said I should work for a newspaper writing. I do want to be published one day but for now I just like writing... to make it a career I think would take the joy out of writing for me, at least in the fast pace of print journalism. I like my little blog, my little story, and just enjoying the escapism of writing. I actually want to be an archivist for the pay check but a writer on the side. I am just happy that I have come out of the closet about my writing... and have gotten to share my life with you my lovely readers. I have been happy with all the kind words I have gotten. I love when people tell me they love my blog or that they even read my blog. I love when my mom and a friend told me that my blog inspired them to start their own blog. I have written more about it in my post "I'm a blogger" so I won't bore you again with my gushy details. Even if I never get published I am happy to have this littl nook for my writing.

basically these post told me if you had something to write about write it.

The quote in the picture "Writing is the only thing that when I do it I don't feel I should be doing anything else"- Gloria Steinem.

Enjoy a Cup of Jo

Today during some idle time I found this posting about finding your soul mate on a blog I follow, Cup of Jo (click here)...
Remember that episode of Seinfeld when Jerry says that only 5 percent of the population is date-able? Elaine asks, "Then how are the other 95 percent getting together?" Jerry's response? "Alcohol." When I was single, I felt the same way...

It felt like I was meeting lots of people--but no one I really wanted to date. And the guys I did like already had girlfriends (or just weren't interested, sad). My mom kept telling me that I would definitely end up with someone fabulous and that I shouldn't worry so much. She said she was 100% sure and that it was normal to worry but that I didn't need to. But it was easy for her to say--she was already blissfully married! And I was already 28 (which felt old to me at the time!). Plus, New York seemed like the roughest place to date: You're always surrounded by models (seriously, honest-to-goodness perfect-skinned, long-legged, teeny-waisted, 6-foot-tall Ukrainian models), and the guys you meet seem to either be married or a little crazy.

For more click here
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My thoughts:

To begin with I actually don't watch Seinfeld all that much but I know my sister loves it so she probably remember it a lot better than I do.

"My mom kept telling me that I would definitely end up with someone fabulous and that I shouldn't worry so much." I feel the author on this one... my mom told me stories of all the boyfriends she had in high school and while I had a few crushes I only had one boyfriend so I often I felt my mom and I were just on different paths. I aslo remember she told me when she got married at 23 "she felt old enough to be married" when I was 23 I felt no where near old enough to be married. I just graduated college and I am still figuring out who I am. I sometimes feel when my friends talk about what they do and what I should do to (like savings, moving, or just dealing with life) that they all got invited to a "how to be an adult meeting" and my invitation must have gotten lost in the mail. (Of course I don't really want to duplicate my mom and dad's marriage since they got divorce). But I do wonder will I ever meet the one. All my married friends tell me thats normal but they can say that they are married.

She talks about how the city you live in might make an impact on the dating scene. I think my city does play a factor. First I grew up in Oklahoma where it is more normal to get married fresh out of college or soon afterwards, so I kind of have that pulling on my heart strings (making me think I should be getting married). But now I live in Boston where most people don't get married till they are in there 30s. Mostly because people here are so focused on their schooling and then their jobs. I feel a lot of people are focused on themselves and try to get everything put together before they think about marriage. If I have to have everything together for marriage... I don't think I will ever get married because I feel I will never have it all together.

She ends the post saying..."What's your relationship status? What are your dating worries? Do you ever worry that you're never going to find your soulmate?"

I am trying not to worry about my dating status. I am trying to remind myself...
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. " (Jer. 29:11) and "Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4). I know and God knows the desires of my heart are to be married and be a mom... but I know it has to be in the Lord's time. Until then I get to enjoy single life where I can do what I want to do when I want.

Read it its a good post.

Brown paper packages tied up with strings... These are a few of my favorite things

I have times I love like Christmas, my birthday, the first time I wear flip flops with out freezing, my first pedicure of the summer, the first Pumpkin spice donut of the fall, and when the September Vogue comes out.

This is one of those days... I have stalked book stores, magazine racks and finally I went into CVS to buy some packing tape and there it was sitting in the center of the magazine rack I saw it the first thing as I came into the store. The SEPTEMBER VOGUE issue. I can't wait to dive into it. I have a road trip this weekend and I plan to take it with me.

I will keep you posted on my findings!