Friday, June 10, 2011

Another One for my Grandma

After my last post, my Grandma passed away on Friday June 3rd. A lot of people have said they are sorry for my loss. I know my Grandma is in heaven so I am not sad about losing her because she is no longer in pain and she now is with the Lord forever. I am sorry that I didn't know her better. She was such a wonderful woman full of love.

We buried my Grandma Wednesday June 8th and that day I bought a bracelet with a heart on it to remind me of the love my Grandma had for me, their family and the Lord. This is true for all my Grandmas (Nana, Mema, Grandma) who have left this earth to be with their heavenly father. I hope one day to be as loving, thoughtful, generous, merciful, and graceful as all these women were. Their hearts were always open and that is what I would like to one day be said about me.

Below is a song my cousins sang at her funeral and it made me cry with how beautiful the song is and how beautifully true it is for my Grandma.

Dancing with the Angels.
by Monk & Neagle

Memories surround me
But sadness has found me
I'd do anything for more time
Never before has someone meant more
And I can't get you out of my mind

There is so much that I don't understand
But I know...

You're dancing with the angels
Walking in new life
You're dancing with the angels
Heaven fills your eyes
Now that you're dancing with the angels

You had love for your family
Love for all people
Love for the Father, and Son
Your heart will be heard
In your unspoken words
Through generations to come

There is so much that I don't understand
But I know

You're dancing with the angels
Walking in new life
You're dancing with the angels
Heaven fills your eyes
Now that you're dancing with the angels

We're only here for such a short time
So I'm gonna' stand up, shout out,
And sing Hallelujah
One day I'll see you again

You're dancing with the angels
Walking in new life
You're dancing with the angels
Heaven fills your eyes
Now that you're dancing with the angels

I know this blog is suppose to be about the stories I am writting (and some of it will be) but I also wanted to keep you informed of my life. I know my family is all over the country and while reading a blog is not so personal as seeing all of you I wanted to share not only my fictional writing but also the writings of my own life.

Hope you enjoy.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Thinking about Grandma

This not really following my story...

I am sitting at my desk not really thinking about work because half way across the countrymy Grandma is laying in her nursing home bed and waiting for the Lord to take her up to heaven. She has been sick for awhile and the doctors have told us any time now. Today my dad called me saying the doctors have told them it will probably be today then he texted me an hour later saying there was slight improvement but I am not really sure what that means. I wish I was in Wichita, KS with her and with my family instead of in Boston feeling somewhat a lone in all this as I wait anxiously for my phone to ring. I really want to get on the next flight out of Boston and be with everyone but then again I think, I have a slight pile of paper work to do at my job and if I went to Kansas being there wouldn't magically slove anything. My Grandma is 89 years old and wants to be in heaven with the Lord and with her husband, my Granddad who passed away in October. So I am now doing the logical thing and trying to live a normal life while my heart and brain are in Kansas.


My Grandma was born in 1922, she lived through the dust bowl on a farm outside of Liberal, KS under the dark brown spot on the map in Eastern Kansas. She lived through the depression and World War II. She married her college sweet heart, my Granddad, and they were married for 67 years and in those 67 years she was a devoted wife and mother raising 3 sons and 1 daughter. She is also a devoted Grandma having fourteen grandchildren and twelve great grand children all of who felt her warm and tender heart. I know when we arrived at her house I always looked forward to getting my kiss on the cheek when I came through the door. To me she will always be one of the most perfect women on the face of the earth.


As a future archivist and a want to be author. I love that she has kept all her journals and notebooks from when she was younger. She also has kept all her family and our family's photo albums neatly organized. I would love to one day be able to explore her world a little bit more. I sit here and think about all she has seen in her life time. From only a few people having telephones to every one having cell phone. From no computers to computers being as small as a notebook binder (if not smaller). Thinking of all the history that has taken place in her life time The Great Depression, WWII, The Civil Rights movement, going to outer space, the Cold War, the Berlin Wall falling, 9/11 and everything I have missed. She may not be famous outside of her family and friends but she has experienced a lot.

As a want to be writer my imagination is trying to imagine what her life must have been like. For some reason it keeps going to this image of a young women standing in 194os style dress. Looking at google image the dresses seem to be like our modern day blouse dresses. And I know the picture on the right is not my Grandma and its a modern day picture it caputers the essence of what I am thinking.


I see a woman standing in a field of sunflowers, in a plain style dress her hair has been stylishly pulled up but has come lose from her hard days work. She stands with a letter from the love of her life with only the gentel summer breeze to comfort her. And then she hears her mother's dinner call in the distance and as she wipes the tears away she tries to breathe so no one notices her pain.


I don't think that ever happened to my Grandmother but some how I come back to this image in my head. I guess since I am reading a book about WWII my mind is more intrigued to think about this time period. But from a historical point of view and from my Grandma's point of view I know little about this time frame so my mind is just left with this image. Maybe one day I can come back to this woman in my mind and explore her world.

Thank you for reading my little tangent. I have actually found calmness in imagining what my Grandma's world would be like and then letting my imagination run down its own little path

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

My story begins

I am not one who can sit at a computer with a blank screen in front of me so I write in a little notebook and over time have begun to type it up. But I am also not one to edit so forgive me for lack of commas but please let me kow if you see anything I need to fix. Most of my writting is free flowing though often when typing it I do make minor correction or additions.




Hope you like it

I have written more but I wanted to share what I typed up last week...





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Pine Haven could hardly be distinguished from all the little New England villages in the vicinity. It boasted about how it was founded shortly before the Revolution and had many of its brave sons fight in that war and every war that followed. The new church was built in 1809 after the old church burnt down and its steeple stood proudly amongst the village built around it. At the other end of main street was was the school house built in 1850 with a green park around it. And that was the town of Pine Haven. Not very big but it boasted itself on not being changed by industry.

It is here where Arthur Danford brought his young bride Cornelia Danford in the summer of 1869 to escape the bustle of the growing Boston city. They had been married a year and Cornelia was expecting their first child and Arthur’s wedding present was finally done. It was built in an almost Gothic style with high pointed roofs and little gargoyles that protected the home. The house stood majestically as it was the largest house the residents of Pine haven had ever seen. Cornelia insisted it have the finest gardens in the county. Though Arthur hated to ruin the great beauty of the simple woods that surrounded his home he did want to please his wife. But Arthur did love his woods and when Cornelia was in labor the servants knew exactly where to find him, his woods in the spot where the little creek dipped into the property. It was a happy day when Charles Arthur Danford was born and it was another happy day when three years later when Fiona Rose Danford was born. Here in Pine Haven the Danfords had some of their best times spending the short New England summers here. But it would also be a sad summer day nearly twenty-five years later that Arthur Danford walking through his woods suffered some heart problems and dies before a doctor could be fetched. After that Cornelia didn’t want to return to the city she liked being where she could feel Arthur’s presence the most. Cornelia made sure his grave site was always kept clean even during snow storms and always had fresh flowers from her green house. She also made sure they buried Arthur in a little gated area in the back gardens near the woods so he could always be a little bit in his world and a little bit in hers. After Arthur’s death the Danford’s great house shut down, the east wing was completely closed off, servants came and went but no one from the outside saw the grand beauty and tender love the Danfords put into their home for quite some time.

Not until six or seven years later when Fiona returned home with her three little girls did any one dare ring the door bell. It was raining that day and the girls were soaked through when Miss Pembers opened the front door. The eldest Laurel then nearly ten tried to her hold her head up acting not bothered by the rain, Emmy the next eldest tried to copy her older sister but was obviously miserable and the youngest Gloria almost two at the time clutched her mother’s leg wishing she could be held but her mother had two large large suitcases and the older girls had suitcases as well. It was obvious to Miss Pembers that Fiona was not making an unexpected visit and the next day all of Pine Haven buzzed about Fiona’s return. For most of Pine Haven remembered what scandal it had been when Fiona Rose, the only daughter of the Danford fortune had run off and married Jefferson Cromwell. She had completely cut off with out a cent and no communication between her and the family had happened since that day until Arthur’s death and even then she was not welcomed at the funeral. So to have Fiona standing at the door was quite a shock for the household and the town.

It all began in the early summer of 1889 two or three day after Fiona turned seventeen. She has finished schooling at Miss Dobson’s school for girls being refined in homemaking, etiquette, French and English literature all the subjects thought best for a woman’s mind. She considered a scholar in her school for enjoying her classes on art history and Shakespeare. She was also a highly accomplished student receiving high honors at her graduation and everyone at Dobson loved her as she was very mild tempered and always had a smile that lighted the room. Cornelia only thought it proper that Fiona be out in society to find a good



match in a proper husband.

Of course to be entirely honest Cornelia had long hoped Fiona’s eyes would settle on Alfred Dumont. He came from a long line of money, his family was actually of royal blood before the French Revolution and they fled to America. Here they continued their wealth investing in cotton and the textiles but Alfred’s father had made a huge leap investing in railroads causing their wealth to surge to new heights. It would have been a great match and Cornelia had thought and hoped that Fiona could be persuaded. Alfred had been obvious in his attentions to her last summer when he came to visit with Charles and even over her winter break he let it be known to Arthur and Cornelia he intended to propose but he knew Fiona was still young and things had to go in proper order.

Fiona didn’t have her mind quite yet on settling down. She still wanted to see so much of the world. For the most part all she had known was Boston, Pine Haven Miss Dobson’s and brief visits to New York. She wanted to see the art she had been studying in real life and wanted to use her French that she had become proficient at. The world was too large and she wanted to see as much of it as she could. That is until she met Jefferson Cromwell at her presentation into society.

It had been a normal May the trees were in full bloom and in the morning there was still a hint of frost in the morning. But like most New England Mays the week before Memorial Day the weather changed to a glorious warmth from sunrise to sunset letting the residents know winter was finally behind them and the sun was here to stay. It was the kind of weather that let people know a fresh start was among them and the feeling that anything could happen was amongst them. Had Cornelia not been so busy in the details of her daughters presentation she would have taken warning in the warm sparks of weather.

The Danfords had come to Pine Haven earlier than usual to prepare for their daughter’s ball and it seemed everyone in Pine Haven buzzed over the details of the dress, the guest list that included the best names from Washington D.C. to Boston society, and everyone waited anxiously to see Fiona’s name and portrait in the society pages. Cornelia Danford had made sure it was in all the best papers in the country from east coast to west coast. She had made sure every one in country knew how grand and lavish their wealth had been.

In all the preparation Cornelia barely noticed that Charles had come home with Alfred Dumont and his friend Jefferson Cromwell. Charles had planned for his friend Jefferson to be an escort for Fiona’s friend Iris Mitchell. But she had noticed the way Jefferson looked at Fiona when she stood on the stair case in her ivory cream dress with a tight bodice and a train the flowed at least feet behind her. While Cornelia would have picked out a more elaborate style Fiona felt the subtle beauty of the dress was more pleasing. Everyone thought Fiona was as pretty as an angel and some even noticed how her golden auburn hair looked like a regal crown. Cornelia had never felt prouder of her daughter than she did right then but as she looked around the smiling faces she notices the glimmer in Jefferson’s eyes.

Fortunately Fiona was safe for the first two dances the first being with her brother and the next one with Alfred but by the third Fiona was in Jefferson’s arms.

“Charles, what have you done?”Cornelia pulled him aside.
“What do you mean?”
“Bringing Jefferson Cromwell to the party. Do you see the way her looks at your sister?”
“I can’t be blamed. Fiona begged me to bring a friend to escort her friend Iris Mitchell.”
“Then shouldn't he be dancing with Iris and not your sister.”
“You did a good job at making her the bell of the ball.”
“She is suppose to be with Dumont not with Cromwell.”
“Well then it looks like Dumont has competition,” Charles gave a joking smile to his mother.
“Do not joke Charles. Your friend Jefferson Cromwell could ruin everything your father and I planned for your sister.”

Little did Cornelia know it was was too late. In two dances Fiona had grown fonder of Jefferson Cromwell then she had any man. He a wide range of interest but instead of telling her what to like and feel as most men had he asked for her opinion. Also Fiona had no problem conversing with Jefferson as she stumbled over her words with others. Fiona could tell had a romantic and adventurous spirit with in him and a smile that made her almost weak in the knees. And half way through the second dance Fiona started to see her future in his sparkling grey eyes. They could explore the whole world together and enjoy the best things in life together. After the two dances Arthur cut in in and Jefferson disappeared into the crowd.







For more click here

Monday, May 23, 2011

Newly 25

Hello,

A few days a go was my 25th birthday. A big birthday I guess, or at least that's what people said. Of course some of my friends are older and they told me this was the last big one before 30. I don't know if this was my last big one I love my birthday and getting a lot of my friends to celebrate and have fun together. Friends from my college days, my church, and others all came out to celebrate and it was perfect I thought. We had Pizza at California Pizza Kitchen and then went out to do Karaoke. Where I and a few of my brave friends attempted to sing Telephone by Lady Gaga, Baby by Justin Beiber and Wannabe by the Spice Girls. It was lots of fun! And I loved all my friends for cheering me on.

Over dinner I was asked what I would like to do by my next birthday. I said I would like to be a full time student. As some of you know I am currently working full time and going to school part time and while that was good I think I'd rather get my masters done so I can work in the library field I want to work in not just calling my self a wanna be librarian. I also said I didn't want to sail around the world in lawn chair and little boat. While I do wish I could travel more I know with school and fiances that's not always possible. I have been thinking also lately I would like to write more.

I do have some down time at work and I usually spend that time on Facebook... not usually doing what I want to do and that is writing. I have countless stories all running through my head. But most of them never get out of my head on and on to paper. And as you can probably tell I am not a published author so even if I write them out. I never finish them. I don't want to get side tracked a lot. Also when I was in school this last semester my brain got fried. But I do need some mental release and that's when I escape into the world of my stories. So any way I would like to give 20 minutes of writing every day, which isn't that much but I have to at least keep writing.

The story I have most going through my mind is kind of a Sense and Sensibility story. Only it takes place in the early 20th century about a mother and her 3 daughters (the older 2 are the main characters) but they live in their Grandmother's house because after the death of their father they are poor. The story is mostly told through Emmy's eyes. She is the second daughter and longs for adventure more than anything and hates the confines of her world. Then Laurel is painted as this modest young woman who is very gentle and though the beauty of the town, Pine Haven, her modesty cast her rather plainly. She also feels a great burden to marry well so she can pull her family out of its humble standings. The action of the story begins when their cousins the well to do Danfords come to visit, Marcus and Julia and their friend Ethan Foster. Ethan is college mates of Marcus from England and has a summer position in New York but before the position begins he spends a few weeks with the Danfords. Also Marcus is recently engaged to Kathryn James. But he knows to continue his inheritance he must get approval of his Grandmother Cornelia. She demands to meet Kathryn. Kathryn brings along her eldest brother Brandon James and then the next brother Caleb joins them after a few weeks. By that time Ethan has gone off to New York every one thinks he will be back shortly and propose to Laurel but she does not encourage such comments. Julia has long loved Caleb and hopes that as soon as her brother and his sister are married she will be married to Caleb. But Caleb falls for Laurel when he tells this Julia she says that Laurel will soon be engaged to Ethan Foster. Caleb says that's impossible as Ethan has long been engaged to Sally Lawrence, secretly of course. In the background of all this Brandon James has fallen for Emmy but no one but her mother sees it because Brandon is at least 10 years older than her. That's mostly what I got figured out right now but I think there is going to be some more action in Boston at Marcus and Kathryn's wedding and also a twist at the end when Grandma Cornelia dies.

I imagine my characters living in this grand house and even though its beautiful it is also so grand it looks a little suffocating at least to Emmy.



Because of the constraint of her grandma's house Emmy spends a lot of time in the woods by her house.