A Quick Little Update

Hello lovely readers,

Since it has been a while since I have updated this I thought I would give a fun update on my life...

Visiting 

The biggest news is my life is that my mom and step-dad have moved up to Burlington, VT!

My step-dad has a new job up in Burlington which is awesome because we haven't been physically close to each other in ten years. I don't know if I expressed this but over the summer I was feeling a major amount of homesickness and a major urge to be close to my family (even thought they are spread out)... I even thought about moving away from Boston that I love to be close to them. While, that may happen one day I am so happy for now I can stay up here. 

Any way the weekend was lots of fun... We went to Stowe, VT which is a picturesque New England town and we experienced the first snow of the season, and yes at this point it was exciting. 

Snow up in the mountains over Smuggles Notch Junction

A very picturesque church

Trying to get a picture with the church sadly the power lines got in too

Event though seeing Burlington and Stowe was fun, I liked seeing my parents and it is nice to know they are so close. 

Reading 

I feel I have not read much lately... I have been using my usual reading time (my commute to work) to get some writing done. It has been beneficial to my writing life but not to my reading. However I have finished my 25th book in my reading challenge... A book about "A lion, witch or Wardrobe" 

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I don't usually read "magic realism" novels... so I thought if I am going to read a novel about witches, Halloween season would be a good time. Besides I found a book about the Edwardian/WWI time period so I felt it would fit nicely into my repertoire. For more about the book, click here.

 I was reading the book Fever Tree about a girl who goes to South Africa in 1890, for the requirement a book about a place you have always wanted to go. However, I found parts of the book too sexual and I thought it best to move on. 

I am on the waiting list at the BPL for the book Circling the Sun about Kenya in the 1930s. I have wanted to go to Africa (well South Africa, Kenya, Egypt, and maybe Morocco) but I understand they are unstable and I cannot afford to pay for that yet. So I am reading about it. 

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While I am waiting for this book... I just picked up Chronicle of Youth at the library and can already tell I want to buy a copy as there are so many passages I want to underline. 

Over the winter I read Vera Brittan's Testament of Youth, her autobiography of her time in WWI. And while the book was great for facts and  some thoughts it is not very feeling. I think she was trying to sound like a scholar and not like an emotional woman. So reading her diary will be an interesting view of her life.

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Writing

My work in progress cover

As I said above I have been getting a lot of writing in, but I am gearing up for National Novel Writing Month... where you try to write 50,000 words in a month. This is my first time that I am not in school since I first learned of this. I am going to bend a rule that I want to continue working on my current story. I really feel my story is coming into focus and shape so I want to continue writing it. I have read some blog post about this and it seems really intense... so I don't know if I will actually be able to write 50,000 words but as this my first time trying I am going to do the best I can but won't beat myself up if I don't get there. 

Getting my November calendar ready

Watching

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Before I went up to visit my parents I went through a major binge watch of Glee. When the show was on I watched the first season, half of the second season, and then just watched episodes occasionally of the 3rd and 4th season but nothing really of the 5th season (minus The Quarterback episode) and none of the 6th season. But YouTube clearly tracking my interest (cheesy musical numbers) kept suggesting videos... finally I got hooked and decided to go through the show on Netflix. 

Song: "Don't Go Breaking my Heart" 

Link 

 Okay I will admit that sometimes the performances are a little cheesy and maybe a little over the top (I noticed this more in the 4th season) but hey who doesn't want to go to school where you get to perform a music video walking down the hall...

Song: "Wanna be Starting Something"

Link

And not only did they cover classic songs they had a few original songs 

 Song: "Loser like me" 

Link

Yes there were moments of annoyance where I couldn't stand Rachel and her need to popular, and there were moments when I thought "come on let them be happy," and thought "this is so not logical" but over all I liked it. They fought, they sometimes had pointless breakups, but they still came together as a team to support each other, and they embraced their differences.

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 The only thing that made me truly upset is they way they acted like everyone in high school was having sex and if a character didn't have sex it was a fault of theirs. 

And even though I knew it was going to happen I did cry during The Quarterback episode, where they deal with the death of Finn Hudson (Cory Monteith) because it wasn't just them writing off a character he actually died and as a cast they had to deal with that pain. 

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 Recently I started re-watching Gilmore Girls. Yes I am excited for the revamp of it on Netflix (whenever that happens) but lately I have been feeling like life is not going the way I want and I have been trying to decide what to do with my life. And whenever get in this mood Gilmore Girls always cheers me up. Because this is just great life advice:

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Right now the only show I am watching in real time is Reign. 

(Historical Spoiler):

Sadly, they have already announced that Francis is going to die this season, though I don' t know what episode. I mean I know in history Francis died a year after becoming King, but last season took place almost entirely in the winter, and they have changed so many historical things why do they have to stick with this. Also (Season 2 Spoiler) last season Mary and Francis spent so much time apart that now they are together and happy it hurts to know soon they will be forever apart. 

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Other Things in My Life

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 I have been actively volunteering with Horizons for Homeless Children. It is probably my saving grace every week as being able to play and interact with the children is my biggest stress reliever. I can't take photos of the kids but they are some of the cutest kids.

Looking Forward To

I know it might be silly but one thing I am really looking forward to is Mockingjay part 2 coming out.

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Okay I think this was a good update on my life but before I go just wanted to share one more song from Glee... there were so many good performances but this was probably one of my favorites. 

Song- Mashup: "Rumor Has It/Someone Like You"

Link

The last 30 seconds probably won't make sense unless you have seen the show. 

Snow is all around me...

The view outside my window... not that it was
ever great but it is just white outside.
I owe the picture of the ocean to my friend. 

We are having a beautiful day here in Boston... well it beautiful if you don't have to go outside. And since our Governor has told us not to go outside I am going to listen. So here I am inside and I thought it would be a lovely excuse to get some writing in. One thing I have wanted to do now that I am out of grad-school is to back to my own fun writing. 

I have mentioned a few times that the way I like to creatively write is by writing things by hand and then typing it up. So I have written a lot but I have not kept up on my typing and sharing my story with you my lovely readers. Sorry about that... I will try to be better. 

My last post of my story was just a little snip it. But if you remember Mattie has run off to the back woods and her and Kelby have a bit of a romantic moment.

Well here is more of the story. This part is really to help build Lady Adelaide and Mattie's relationship and give Lady Adelaide some back story. Hope you enjoy...

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She could not say what she was feeling, she was only thirteen and all she felt this way before. She had trembled when he touched her cheek but it didn't scare her it felt comforting.

            Mattie was so happy when he took her back in the way through Cranston Court. He informed the butler, Mr. Doyle, the butler that Miss Mathilda was there and that she wished to see Lady Welford. Mr. Doyle looked quite astonished to hear Kelby who was so far beneath him speak so commanding to him. To be honest Mattie was quite astonished herself. Kelby was always the quite brother, he never talked of his dreams or pledge to the fraternity of exploring the world. Most of the time it was hard what was going on behind his chestnut eyes. He was already reading he seemed happier in the world of his books. Though he appeared to enjoy the company of books more people he was never cold or un-thoughtful. He was just reserved and respectful.

            Kelby could not take her beyond the back stairs he for he could not be seen upstairs. So Mr. Doyle showed her through to the salon to the sitting room where Lady Welford was found. Mr. Doyle gave Mattie a stern glare as she waited for her presence to be announce, it was clear he was not happy with her. Mattie tried to adjust her hair and fix her dress but to Mr. Doyle she was only a child, one of no importance or standing. He questioned why she should get such special privilege with Lady Welford. He thought if she was to seen by the lady she should come through the front door with a proper calling, not being lead by a stable hand. And he was right, Mattie was a nobody, a nobody Lady Adelaide should notice but Lady Adelaide had made it quite clear during all their visits that Mattie was most welcome.

            "Oh yes do let her in," Mattie heard Lady Adelaide. "My dearest Mattie, you are soaked through do not tell me you work out in the storm.

            "I was my Lady," Mattie replied properly as Mr. Doyle was still in the room. "But Kelby Gray took me to some shelter, however it was too late by then."

            "Doyle, can you send Mrs. Banks in here, we must get our guest a new dress and some tea."

            "Yes my lady," he then left.

            "Oh my dearest Mattie, when I said to come as often you could, I did not mean anyway."

            "I am sorry Lady Adelaide I am disturbing you."

            "No, no not at all. You are not a disturbance. You will always be welcomed. I just didn't mean—Oh well you are here, and I am so glad you are."

            "I am sorry for my mother's behavior. You are so good and you do not deserve my deserve my mother's cold words."

            "I know I am an oddity amongst other ladies, finding no amusement in society. I know this could be looked as proud or conceited and I do hope I am not those things." Mattie shook head to confirm that Lady Adelaide was not. "You see I used to enjoy those events, I would attend balls till three or four in the morning. I would go to the theater and attend Ascot. Whatever the season demanded of me I did it with great joy."

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            It was easy to imagine Lady Adelaide the jewel in any ballroom, she was so beautiful and genteel. She would be sure to have every man yearning for hand, and all the girls red with jealously of the attention she received.

            "Can I tell you a secret?"

            Mattie nodded.

            "You see, as much as I loved the season once my daughter died I just never had the heart for it anymore. I went to the season after the morning period and it crushed me that my little Aurora would never be presented, she would never have her first dance, and she would never find a husband. I could not watch all the festivities thinking how she would never be able to do any of it. It breaks my heart still." Mattie placed her hand on top of Lady Adelaide's. "That is until I met you." Lady Adelaide smiled at her. "You my dearest Mattie. You are so much like her in looks and sweet manners. I know you have your own family, but I want to love and dote on you as quite my own."

            Mattie wanted to hug her, but in Mattie did not want to spoil Lady Adelaide's dress so Mattie just sat there with their hands intertwined. Then when Mrs. Banks walked in Mattie pulled away knowing it was improper.

            "Your ladyship?"

            "Mrs. Banks, will you see to our guest. She needs a dry gown and then please prepare some tea for us."

            "Yes your ladyship,"

            "Oh and Mrs. Banks, send a note to Southerton Greens to let them know where she is and pleas make sure to keep the motor standing by when she is ready to leave. We would not have her walking and potentially getting caught in the rain again."

            "Yes my lady"

            Mattie follows Mrs. Banks storing up all that Lady Adelaide had said to her. To lose a daughter must be the biggest heart ache. Though Mattie was overjoyed to know she had softened the heart ache even if it was just for a little bit.

Lady Adelaide is suppose to be a mother
figure to Mattie
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            Mattie thought she would have been taken back to Aurora' room, as she had the first time she came to Cranston. Instead she was taken to another side of the house. The room looked as if it had a brand new coat of paint on the walls as it still carried the scent of new paint. It was a light robin egg blue with little stencil drawing of little daisies around the crown molding. Daisies had always been her favorite flowers and in these details the room felt as if it had been made for her. Then the maid brought out a clean dress, Mattie had the impression that this dress could have come out of her own closet. Lady Adelaide must have ordered a new dress. Had Lady Adelaide done all this so Mattie could call this spot in Cranston all her own?

            "So do you approve?" Mattie hadn't realized that Lady Adelaide was standing in the door way.

            "Very much. How could I not. I feel like everything was done specifically for me."

            "It was my dearest Mattie. I want this to be your special space."

            "Oh thank you," she gave Lady Adelaide a hug.

            "I wanted to show it to you when it wall done, but you came sooner than I expected."

            "Done? But it is perfect now."

            "I haven't quite finished off the pillows or the curtains. I have looked at different samplings but I do not know what would be good."

            "Anything will do."

            "Oh no, not just anything, you deserve the best."

            Mattie gave her another hug.

            How desperately Mattie just wanted to remain in that moment. She felt as life couldn't get any better. Sadly life had to move on, it was just the way of things and within a fortnight Marcus and Parker had to return to school. Marcus always said it was in the changing of the wind that moved life along. So the wind had changed summer was over, and life had to return to its normal pace. 

It is rather odd writing about summer when it is far from summer here
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Continue to follow Mattie and the rest of my story through my Grand Days tag 

Happy Birthday to Me

my sister holding me when I was 1 hour old

So I love my birthday, not because of the gifts, but because it means my friends (from all the different parts of my life) get together and it is lots of fun. I have had some friends that have been in my life for a long time so we have lots of birthday memories together (LOVE!). This year has been no different very memorable...

niece, sister, nephew and I 

First lets go back to last Friday when I flew to my mom's house in the desert of California. We have had a very long winter here in Boston so it was nice to pull out my summer clothes and feel the very warm sun on my skin. Though it was mother's day my mom treated me to mother daughter pedicures and the woman giving me a pedicure asked "you're so pale where are you from?" "Boston," I said though being of Irish and English descent I will never be dark. My mom basically spoiled me for the week treating me to good dinners out and one of my favorite meals (Stuffed green peppers). She bought me some new cute shoes and a relaxing week (a massage, a few strawberry margaritas, and other treats). While the treats were good it was  great to spend the week with my sister, niece and nephew. Also my Grandma made me dinner at her house and bought me my favorite cake (German Chocolate). So thanks mom and step-dad for the awesome treat of that week...

Awesome auntie time

with step-dad

Then when I got back to Boston I had a great dinner with some of my good girl friends where I got a some
bookish things and a Starbucks gift card. Then today I received a one year subscription to Netflix. Books, coffee and movies... my friends know me so well. Okay, I know I started out this post saying I don't care about the gifts and I really don't...a co-worker asked me "what I wanted?" and I couldn't think of anything. I feel so blessed that I can't think of anything I want. It is not about the gifts it is about having friends and family that I know that will love and support me.

However, I don't want anything materialistically my friend asked me at dinner "What is one thing I want to do this year?" And my answer is to finish my thesis and FINALLY graduate grad-school. I can't imagine my life not being a student but I sure would like to.

Here are some memorable birthdays since moving to Boston...

From top left down:

• 21st birthday dinner with friends and Dad, then getting baptized the next day... great to have dad for both occasions
• Going to my first Red Sox game and it being Lester's no hitter
• Graduating college a few days before my 23rd birthday.
• It wasn't really for my birthday but my bible study went to Rochester, NY for the Lilac festival and it was around my birthday time so I remember it as my 24th birthday
• Doing Karaoke for my 25th birthday
• Birthday party to help me raise support to go to Honduras
• Last year going to Newport with my mom and seeing the beautiful mansions. 

my first birthday

A naive writer's sentiments

One of the many blogs I follow is Scribble Chicks. It is written by 4 women who blog about being a writer. I find it very amusing. Well in Monday's post Confession they wrote:

MYTH: You can tell you are supposed to be or are a writer because you cannot imagine living life without writing and you don't enjoy the time when you aren't writing.

They explained this as a myth because...

TRUTH: There are definitely times when I greatly dislike writing. Usually it's when my deadline is creeping up on me and I have gotten myself backed into a wall in my story. There are often times during breaks in deadlines when I really wonder if I have another book in me. Or after I've gotten a contract when I stare at a blank Word document and I can't for the life of me figure out a good opening scene.

To read more click here 

I know right now I am just an aspiring author with this blog and some poems I got published my high school literary magazine as my only publishing credits. So I know I do not feel the pressure of a deadline on me... though I will say I do try to publish here once every 2 days. Though I write frequently in between to prepare for up coming post. And I know I have never gotten a contract so I can't go against their truths but I do question their myths.

Over my trip with my mom I told her even though I am in grad school for Library Science, I long to be a writer and I think the reason I gave was much the same as the myth. When I can't fun write thanks to school it is hard and I long to write again. Then when I can write, thanks to summer or long snow storms, I feel like writing is the only thing I should be doing. Rather it be this blog, my journal, or my story I love seeing my thoughts on paper. Sometimes writing is the only thing that makes sense in my life and in my stories I can escape and make sense of things. Maybe in my naive sense I feel like that is why people enter the world of writing.

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I am still thinking over this myth. Maybe if I ever truly become a published author I will understand the pressure of a deadline. Right now in my writing I have finished my story The Sisters of Pine Haven and have sent it to my mom, my current editor, to read over. In the fall I have to write my Master's thesis so I don't think I will get back to it until after that. Now I am just trying to work on my story, Rose Gray, as much as possible. Then with two stories under my belt and having finished Grad-school I might feel like seeking publication. Right now I still believe this...

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Yeah my thoughts might be naive but I am hoping I will always love to write as it has been such a comfort all these years.

More from a naive writer:

A Naive Writer's Advice

posted: June, 2012

If you a published author I would love to hear your thoughts on this. 

Birthday Weekend Away Part 2

staring out at the ocean at The Breakers
it was a bit cold

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In my Birthday Weekend Away I wrote about my mom and I going to Newport for my birthday and I must say I loved my time away. Not only as a time to relax but as a time to live a bit in the past or at least explore past a bit. I must say as much as I was looking forward to seeing the Marble House, I fell in love with The Breakers. I found the whole weekend inspiring, most of the houses provided great detail for the Gilded Age and I wanted to take note of all the details. Fortunately my mom spoiled with buying me some new books so I can study more about this time period. 

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Sadly we cannot take pictures inside the house so I don't have any pictures of my own of the beautiful interiors but I do have some that my mom has posted.

my mom and I on the patio of The Breakers...
I have my head phones on for the  guided tour. 

At The Elms on a sunny warmer day

A posed picture of me outside The Elms

I feel quite inspired and now that school is out I can get some real writing done. Some of you know that I have to hand write my stories and then I type them up. Right now I am catching up on some of my typing. Will keep you posted on the work.

Birthday weekend away

Hello Lovely Readers,

The Marble House
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I am excited to say by the time you read this I will be off on vacation with my mom to celebrate my 27th birthday. My mom and I are heading down to Newport, RI to look at all the pretty mansions. As much as I love the Gilded Age I have not been down to the mansions.

I was watching another period drama (surprise, surprise) called The Buccaneers based off the Edith Wharton novel and the first part takes place in Newport; the characters actually go visit The Marble House and it looks so exquisite it I cannot wait to see it for myself I am sure I will be in awe this whole weekend.

The Buccaneers- pt. 1

A little bit of my past

Hello lovely readers,

In my last post I talked about how I was going to talk more about my faith on this blog. I know I have already talked about my faith a little but I wanted to go back a bit in my story. I have not always  followed the Lord in my life but have had Christians always in my life and I have catch myself thinking about them "you must have it all together to be a Christian." I would say my dad and both my sisters are these super Christians in my life and I looked up to them as if they were perfect... well they aren't and neither am I.

I wanted to lay out a bit of my life story so no reader can accuse me of being "perfect" and "having it all together" when I don't. In this blog I am simply sharing my life and my faith is a HUGE part of that. So before you think I am standing on a soap box or hitting you over the head with a Bible, I wanted to share a pice of my story so hopefully you won't think I am doing those actions.


From my Baptism... May 20th 2007

When I was 5ish my parents got divorced. I know it is common for kids to think that "it is their fault", I never thought that. Looking back on it, I don't really remember a time they were together so it seems like a "natural" thing. Though I didn't think it was my fault through the divorce I got it into my head that I had to please everyone. I somehow thought that there was this bar of "perfection" that I could never measure up to. When I thought I was close to that bar, I would  discover that there was something else I had to do to make people happy. And if people weren't happy with me they wouldn't love me. This an aspect of my life I have lived with for nearly 21 years, while it is waining in strength, sometimes when I am low I still feel this bar above me. So for me it was very "natural" to think there were always conditions or hoops to jump through to earn love.

 

Skip ahead to my Junior year of High School. It was not a good time for me. I know I was stressed about my grades (I wasn't a stellar student) and I knew my grades that year were not good enough to get into a good college. I just remembering feeling as if I had failed. I know college wasn't the only thing that brought stress on me, I just like I had failed (I can't fully put it into words). For so long I had felt as if I was treading water keeping my head above float and all of the sudden I got tired of treading so I stopped and it felt as if I had drowned. Drowned to the bottom of the ocean and for awhile I walked around feeling no need to get up. I also felt no one around me could see how much pain I was in and I couldn't express because if I did they would know I had failed and then no one would love me.

 

Over this time I was taking over the counter sleeping medicine because I could never sleep at night. One night, I remember, I was emptying the dish washer and I thought about taking 5 or 6 pills that night and not waking up the next day. In reality I wanted my mom to come in try to wake me and when she realized I couldn't, she would rush me to the hospital, have my stomach pumped and then be fine. Also people would realize how much pain I was carrying around. Yeah not super logical but it is hard to be logical when you are sad. It is also hard to be logical when you are living inside your own head and not grasping on to reality.

 

I started going to therapy my senior year. I talked a lot about my emotions and how sick I felt but I still carried around shame and guilt over what I had thought and what I had almost done. I still sometimes think back at that time and think, if people knew that about me they wouldn't love me. I mean how can some one love somebody who thought about ending their life. Yeah also not super logical. That is probably the biggest bruise I carry around me and I still ask God to heal my heart from that.  

Boston in the fall..
the first time I came to Boston was in the fall
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During my Junior year I would stare out my classroom window and look out over the San Fransisco Bay and dream of running away. I thought I would just leave school take BART to Oakland get on a Amtrak train and see where life would lead. Well I found a nice legitimate way to run away, college. I had a large book that listed every college in the US and I looked into all of them on the East Coast from Boston to Virginia. But on my first trip to Boston I felt at home and I never wanted to leave. 

Over the summer, between Senior year and college, I went back to visit my dad and per usual went to High School church camp. I always went to camp mostly because all my friends went and this year was no different. But something happened to me at camp. I had 2 wonderful camp leaders who showed me how they weren't perfect and still were Christians. I began to ponder that thought. Then over the week I realized I had tried to do everything on my own and I had failed. I realized I couldn't do it on my own anymore. So after camp I asked my dad to help me find a church in Boston, I remember he was driving on the high way but I am not sure why. I am sure if he had not been driving he would have had a heart attack over this question.

 

I found Park Street Church and through that found one of my best friends. She didn't let me hide behind my wall of shame, she got right to the heart of my life. She also didn't allow me to be a wall flower and she "dragged" to different bible studies where I got to meet a lot of people. While I had this great friends sometimes I felt completely alone as a Christian so I clung to my Bible and read all of Psalm that first semester. Through my friend I found Reunion Christian Church, my home church, and have found a great community there.

 

People might ask me "how do I know God exist?" I will answer "because He saved me." I know that is a classic Sunday school answer but I know it to be true. I was in the pit and I wanted to end it all because everything I had done had made me fail. With God I have never felt like a failure, though I continue to stumble. I make mistakes, I will make mistakes. I continue to walk around with scars on my heart for all the things that have happened in my life but God knows those scars, He know the dark spots inside me, and yet he created me and He loves me with no condition and no hoops to jump through. That is what I cling to because sometimes it is the only thing that makes sense.

 

As I have finished this up I realize the title is a little miss-leading as it is actually a long post. So as a treat... here is one song I have really loved for a long time and still gives me goose bumps.

 

"How he loves" by David Crowder.



1 More Week!

Hello Lovely Readers,

I am one week away from going to Honduras! I hope by now most of you know for a long time I have had a desire to go work with Living Water International to go help dig a well. I have raised support, gotten my shots, and bought some supplies (need to buy more). Now I have a week until I go!

I am sad to say that I have not fully wrapped my head around the fact that I am leaving. I have been in summer school, which I actually really enjoyed, and then went on a last minute trip to California to see my mom.  So please pray for my head and my heart to be prepared for this trip and all that will come. 

I have had some mix emotions facing me this summer. Even though school has been a fun learning experience it was stressful. Also just some emotional stuff has been going on, on the side. I have had major amounts of homesick. My mom has been sick of this summer and has to have surgery, hence the reason for my trip to my mom, to see her before surgery. 

My mom and I

While I was at my mom's I went through some of my boxes from my childhood to high school: found my old porcelian dolls; went through year books; and some of my notebooks full of stories. I also got to try on my Nana's wedding dress. My Nana was quite small, you can't tell in the picture but the back could not zip all the way up, but it was very fun to try it on. 

Me in my nana's dress. 

Also my older sister has been pregnant and I am realizing how much I miss my niece growing up and now I am missing my nephew. I know my dream was to live in Boston but sometimes I wish I could telaporte to see my family. Fortunately I can skype with my family so I talk to my sister and niece every two weeks. Today was great and I got to skype and see my nephew. (I love that part of technology). 

My niece looking at my nephew

With all this going on I have not really given my attention to this trip. Is that bad? Or is that just life? This week I am in prep mode for this trip. I know it is last minute prep but better than nothing. 

If you have been watching the Olympics you have probably heard this song:

I have really loved it.

Please be praying for my trip down to Honduras, not just for me but for the people we will interact with and the conversations we will have.  

I will keep you posted on my trip. 

Happy Mother's Day

To all the mom's in my life, rather it be sisters, friends or my moms. 

I love you very much and thank you for all that you do. 

My friend and her baby a few days after she was born 

My mom and I

My sister dancing with my niece

My sister and my niece baking cookies

My mom, with my sister and I on a mother's day

My mom and I visiting the Biltmore Estate. 

My step-mom and I visiting Plymouth...sorry this pic is so dark

My mom and I when I graduated college. 

My step mom and I when I graduated college.

My grandmas... the ultimate moms.

I can't wait to be a mom... I have had such inspiring women in my life.

But right now I am happy to be Abba (Aunt Blaire).