Still Asking. Still Trusting: A Mid-Year Prayer Update

Dear Lovely Reader, 

I have had two blog posts on my mind for weeks. One being my Psalm 8 (part 2), and now this follow-up to my 40 random facts about me. I ended the last post of that series with the words of my friend, "What is one of your favorite things about last year?" And "What is one thing you want to accomplish in the next year?"

I had every plan to answer that, but as I began to write my post (because, yes, most times I write it out by hand before typing it up), I realized I didn't really do that. Loosely but not really.

At the beginning of the year, I wrote out my prayers for 2026, and I have been blessed to see how God is answering them. The year is only halfway done, and I am blessed to see how God will answer the others. 

📌Yellow note card — "Prayers for 2026."

• God's healing power in my life, enabling me to experience His peace, hope, and joy.
• Rely more on His facts than my feelings
• Being fully funded
• Pray for my heart to be restored in Him so I'm open to another relationship (in His timing)
• Movement of the Holy Spirit, so there is revival for God throughout Sharpstown
• Embrace what God desires?
• That I may hear Him clearly

Praise:

• My job is support-raised, and if you would like to learn more, please sign up for my mailing list (link). I am truly grateful to share that, while I am not yet fully funded, I have reached a strong percentage — something that has been a significant challenge for me over the years. This progress is an incredible answer to prayer, and I am deeply encouraged by how far God has brought me.
  
  
• My heart is being actively restored, and I am in a relationship with a wonderful man who is pointing me more and more to Jesus. Last week, I shared a prayer request, and he said he was praying and thinking about it too. I thought it was awesome God has us on the same path, even if we don't talk about it.

Prayers:

• I continue to pray for revival in Sharpstown, because I see so many nations represented in this part of Houston. I truly believe if revival were to happen here, it could transform not only Houston but also nations around the world.
• Still truly trying to embrace who God desires me to be (that will probably be a lifetime prayer).

🙏 Back to praises and a little bit of prayers:

• God's healing in my life… The end of 2024 and a lot of 2025 were hard for me. I sat in a lot of grief, shame, and regret, so I prayed for restoration. I can't say I have reached the pinnacle of His peace, hope, and joy. I think there are still things I am working through with God, but there is a lot more light than darkness.

I don't know when I wrote the blue card, probably later in January or early February, but as much as I can proclaim things over myself* I prayed:

• Tears and pain would turn to rejoicing
• Doubts and fears would turn to certainty
• Longings would turn to trust
• Hurt would turn to hope
• Unforgiveness would turn to restoration
• Lack would turn to abundance
• Lack would turn to wisdom

God is graciously blessing me in many of these prayers, but looking over this list, I can still see some areas of struggle I need to actively turn over to the Lord. But as I said in my Psalm 8 (part 2) post, I am still crying out to God, "I trust, but help my untrusting."

I don't have a neat bow to tie on any of this — and honestly, I don't think I'm supposed to. Faith is a daily return. And so I'll keep returning, keep writing my prayers on little note cards, keep pinning them where I can see them. Because the card on my board is a constant reminder — "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us." (1 John 5:14). He heard me when I wrote those prayers in January, and He is still hearing me now. 

💖 Lovely reader, He hears you too. So keep asking. Keep returning. Nothing you lay before Him is ever forgotten.

Thanks for reading and joining me in this journey. 

This is usually what it looks like when I am getting blogging done

* I often wrestle with how to approach proclaiming things—I don’t want to fall into a “name it and claim it” mindset. Still, I believe there is genuine value in trusting God with our lives and honestly expressing our desires to Him. I am thinking of verses- Psalm 37:4, 62:8, Philippians 4:6-7, and Romans 8:26-27, and I hope that if I am misunderstanding these verses or taking them out of context, you will graciously correct me. 

📖 Psalm 8: How Excellent Is Your Name... Do I believe (Part 2).

Dear Lovely Reader,

I wrote out my study of Psalm 8 (link), but I keep coming back to it. It was a good start, and I loved sharing what I learned, but I don't want my blog post to be just intellectual; I want to share life and start discussions (if possible on a blog). So I came up with some thought-provoking questions I will answer, and maybe you can answer in your journal or in the comments below.

1. Do you actually believe you were made in God's image? How would your daily life look different if you truly did?

I know the verse "Let us make man (man and woman) in Our image according to Our likeness…" (Genesis 1:26), and while I used to think it meant we were made like how God looks. But a few years ago, I heard when it says "according to Our image," it really means we were called to bear His image, to carry out His image and ways. I think it changes my idea on the question… Do I believe I was made in God's image?

Yes! Absolutely.

Do I live it out daily? Probably not.

How would my daily life look different if I truly did?

One, I think I would have more confidence, not just in myself, but in showing love to others (not being prideful or selfish). I think I would have more trust. I frequently pray, saying, "I trust God, He is the maker of the universe. He stepped down from heaven, walked among us, dwelt with us, died on the cross for us, and rose again." So I do not struggle to trust Him as God. But sometimes I feel like the man who said: "I believe, but help me in my unbelief" (Mark 9:24). I say, "I trust, but help my untrusting."

Something I love about my boyfriend is that he is so trusting that God will work things out, and he is absolutely certain that God's got all this. I'm certain too, but there is a difference in our attitude. I have to start off with things going nuclear and then work my way back from there. I feel conditioned to start with the worst-case scenario and make plans A, B, C, and sometimes D, just in case. My boyfriend is conditioned (though he might correct me on the wording) to believe that everything will go all right and that God's got this (Matthew 6:34).

If I truly lived out carrying God's image more, I think I would just truly have deep certainty, a hope or peace surpassing all understanding (Philippians 4:7).

2. Where have you been looking for worth God has already given freely?

Not lately, but in the past, I have struggled with just the idea of being good enough — I know I am only good enough by God's grace, love, mercy, and salvation, not by my own efforts. But I struggle with this. There are moments when I feel completely inadequate in my job, in a relationship, and at low times, just walking on the face of this earth. I have to consistently remind myself of God's truth. He created me, He loves me, He chose me, delights in me, and saved me, and there is nothing I can do to change it. My sister frequently tells me to rely on His facts, not my feelings, and I hope I will eventually live it out.

I think this leads to answering another question:

3. What is one thing about God — His greatness, His gentleness, His attention — you have taken for granted lately?

I couldn't think of just one, so here are three:

1. His acceptance. God accepts me for who I am. I am not saying He won't transform me; I want to be renewed, refined, and restored in His holiness, but He will never abandon or forsake me when I mess up. He accepts me and loves me because I'm His cherished daughter; I am His beloved. And I need to lean on His acceptance, His grace, and mercy in my life.
2. His forgiveness. I spent a lot of time beating myself up for things He has already forgiven me for (1 John 1:9). I'm still figuring out what this genuinely looks like and what it means moving forward.
3. His faithfulness. He always provides. He doesn't hold back. He holds me, and I need to walk in security and confidence.

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Bonus questions for you to ponder:

1. When you look at creation (the sky, the stars, the sunset, or maybe if you can see mountains (we don't have mountains in Houston)), does it make you feel small in a scary way or small in a safe way?
   For me: safe.
   
   
2. Who in your life points you back to God when you're falling apart? Have you told them what it means to you?
   For me: my dad, my sisters, my boyfriend, and my friends.
   

I hope to do more Psalm studies, so stay tuned, and please let me know your honest thoughts. 

Thanks for joining me on this journey. 

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Turning 40: 40 fun facts about me (part 5)

Now that it is the final facts, I will say this has been a fun and interesting reflection on my life. 

33. First country I ever visited outside the U.S.? France, well, technically Spain, but all I did was get off the plane, get in a car, and drive on the highway to the cruise boat. So I am sticking with France. 

In a town where I got to see Roman ruins outside of Marseille
(Sorry, can't remember name)

34. Most random anecdote: I have been licked by a giraffe... my best friend in high school, Karen, and I were visiting Six Flags Marine World, and they had this opportunity to take a picture with a giraffe. Well, from what I remember, my friend held the salt stick to get the giraffe to come over to us, but she held it closer to me, and it licked me. Not sure why, but I freaked out, and somehow their telling me it was good luck to be licked by a giraffe calmed me down (I wasn't a Christian yet, so maybe that really did calm me down).

35. Favorite Boston memory: Going to John Lester’s no-hitter on my 23rd birthday or doing the Freedom Trail with visitors and stopping for some cannoli. 

At John Lester's no-hitter

But in all honesty, I mostly just hung out with my friends and watched movies at their apartments.  It was here I lived life, grew in my faith, and found a support system. 

36. Favorite Houston memory (not family related): Seeing Reba McEntire at the Houston Rodeo

But I would not have gone to the Rodeo if it weren't for the wonderful friends I have made at PLI... so I should give them a little shout-out. 

37. Favorite comfort food on a bad day: This is going to sound random, but when I am feeling really crummy, I like to make rice and eat it with butter and sugar. We ate a lot of rice when I was growing up because it was cheap and easy to make. 

38. What has been the hardest season of your life, and what did it teach you? I have struggled with depression on and off since my junior year of high school. The time that stands out most was after grad school, when I searched for a job, and nothing happened. Whenever friends asked about it, I wanted to cry or shout—I felt useless, disappointed, discouraged. Other friends seemed to get job offers right away. I cried out to God, “Why?” My quiet time became a checklist. I remember walking home from the train and wishing a bus would hit me and end it all.

I felt like dirt—worse than dirt.

Moving to Houston didn’t magically fix things; my problems followed me. I still scrambled and called out to God. One day, driving to a babysitting job, I thought a pickup truck would merge into me. I swerved into an 18-wheeler. Somehow, I only damaged my bumper and had a headache. I walked away knowing God must have a purpose for me. I’m still living in that truth.

39. Do you have any irrational fears or phobias? Yes, ants, and my roommate thinks it is hilarious that I love Ant-Man. 

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And falling out of a roller coaster. 

40. Favorite role in life (thus far): Being "Aunt Blaire," if you spend any time around me in real life, you will know my niece and nephews are my favorite subject to speak about (after Jesus). I'm always so proud of them; they hold my heart, and watching them grow up has been one of the biggest blessings in my life.

After putting all of this together, I'm already thinking about what comes next. A friend in Boston had a beautiful birthday tradition... every year, she would ask two questions: What was your favorite thing about the last year? And what is one thing you want to accomplish in the next year? I love that. Simple, intentional, and worth sitting with.

I think that deserves its own post... Stay tuned. 🎂

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Turning 40: 40 fun facts about me (part 4)

The big day has come and gone — and honestly? I wouldn't change a thing. I was busy visiting my boy in Tennessee, soaking up the good stuff, and I decided that working on a blog post could wait.

24. Ever since I was a child, I have always had a close friend with a "K" in her name. It started with Katie, my very first friend. Then came Karen in high school, two different Kates in college, and in adulthood — the Kates are still going strong, plus my last roommate in Boston was named Kyra. (I also had wonderful friends named Caroline, Liz, and Sarah along the way, but the K's are clearly a pattern.) Maybe "B" and "K" just go well together. I'm not questioning it — I'm just collecting them.

The Kates and I 

25. One truly stupid thing I did as a kid was staple my own thumb. In my defense, I had just received the most adorable Noah's Ark desk set, and the stapler was shaped like a hippopotamus. Naturally, the only logical way to test whether it had staples in it was to press my thumb down on it. It did. I pulled it out myself — without crying, I might add — because I didn't want to frighten my younger sister. I then went to find my parents via my older sister, who, unfortunately, cannot stand the sight of blood. Let's just say her reaction was... dramatic. (Or at least, that's how I remember it. 😄)

26. The first book I remember loving: Ella Enchanted... it is a retelling of Cinderella, but don't judge a book by its movie because the book is so much better. 

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27. Continuing my book theme- Favorite author (besides God), Kate Morton, Jane Austen. I have liked Susanna Kearsley, Fredrik Backman, Ann Vosscamp, and others. 

28. If I could meet a fictional character: Emma M. Lion, Katniss Everdeen (though she would probably think I was weak), Mr. Knightley. 

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29. Submitted by a friend: What is your favorite book from the last 10 years? This is hard to answer... 1) because I can't remember every book I have read over the last 10 years, and 2) it is hard for me to choose a favorite. 

Audio Book: Homecoming by Kate Morton, because it is narrated by Claire Foy, and she has a really great voice.  

Christian non-fiction: Gentle and Lowly: The Heart of Christ for Sinners and Sufferers by Dane Ortlund, The Broken Way by Ann Vosskamp, Seeking Allah Finding Jesus by Nabeel Qureshi. 

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Fiction: hmmm? That is hard. 

30. Favorite books of the Bible (if you are allowed to have favorites): John, Ephesians, Deuteronomy, Psalms (I mean, it just covers the wide range of emotions). 

31. What Bible verse has shaped your life most? Can I list a few? 

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. -Hebrews 10:23 (NIV)

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. - Ephesians 2:10 (NJKV)

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead, he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. -2 Peter 3:9 (NIV)

And what does the LORD require of you, but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God? - Micah 6:8b 

For your steadfast love is before my eyes, and I walk in your faithfulness. -Psalm 26:3 (ESV)

32. A favorite line from a TV show that I quote a lot:  "Life's tough. Get a helmet." - Boy Meets World. 

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Turing 40: 40 fun facts about me (part 3)

21. Submitted by my aunt: "Have you ever daydreamed about moving to Kansas?"

Sorry, I can't say that I have. Okay, maybe when I was a kid, and my cousin and I would play dress up and act out stories together — maybe then. In high school, I dreamt of becoming a writer in New York City, but I fell in love with Boston instead. And for a while, I dreamt about working at the Library of Congress, because the main building is so beautiful. But dreams have shifted. I am now fulfilling my dream of being used in God's kingdom, working with immigrants and refugees, and fulfilling a heart's desire to love on kids so they know they are loved — not only by me, but by God.

22. Submitted by my cousin: "Did you know about PLI before you moved to Houston?" 

Simple answer: "No."

Long answer: I moved to Houston to be closer to my family. I loved Boston, but every time I visited my sister and her family, it was getting harder to get back on the plane and leave them (my niece and nephews have me wrapped around their little fingers — and they know it). Also, at the time, I had a roommate who was taking amazing trips by herself and with her best friend, and I was getting a little envious — okay, a lot envious — because she lived so close to family that she spent her vacation time and money traveling. And I would love to travel.* So I moved to Houston.

The kids and I, the fall after I moved here

In the winter/early spring of 2020 (before the world fell apart), I joined a Bible study focused on sharing your faith — something I really struggle with. I had done some campus ministry in college, but most of my grad school and adult years were spent with people simply knowing I was a Christian and hoping that if they had questions, they would ask. I especially struggle to share my faith with those closest to me without getting on a soapbox, so I felt convicted to join. Through that Bible study, I heard about the nations in Houston. Did you know Houston is one of the most diverse cities in America? "Houston is the 2nd most diverse major American city in 2025"

After the Bible study ended, one of the group's leaders and I went for a walk. She was trying to pull me into another Bible study, gearing people up for overseas missions. I couldn't imagine doing that. 1) In my head, I thought overseas missions were for the "Super Christians." 2) I didn't have a specific people group my heart yearned to reach — I had a heart for children and vulnerable populations, but I hadn't found a people group I wanted to invest in. 3) And probably most importantly at the time: I had just moved to Houston to be close to my family. I told her as much, so she pivoted and told me about PLI. After about the third mention, I had to stop her and ask what those letters stood for — Prestige Learning Institute.

It was COVID, and I wasn't quite ready to leave my house, but by January 2021, I was done with my life being just working from home, going for walks, and watching TV. I needed to do something. I looked up PLI again, applied to volunteer, and got completely sucked into the After-School Program 😃.

When the world opened up a little more, I started looking for full-time work — but I didn't want a full-time job that would take me away from the kids I had come to love. Around that time, one of the women I'd connected with noticed that PLI had an admin position open. I applied, and my now-friend in HR pointed me toward a communications position in development — but it required support raising. As an introvert who wrestles with insecurity, that gave me serious pause. I brought it up with my therapist, and she asked, "Would you do it if it wasn't for the support raising?" I said yes. And I think that was my answer. So I applied — and that's what brought me to PLI. I'm sure there are more details I'm leaving out.

*If I could do anything (other than what I'm doing right now), I would turn this blog into a travel/Bible study/lifestyle blog and somehow make enough money from it to live, save, and get by. Not that money is a driving factor — but enough is enough.

23.  If I had a superpower, it would be: teleporting or speaking any language. 

24. TV series I have watched all the way through more than once: Gilmore Girls, MASH, The West Wing, Ugly Betty, Downton Abbey, The Office, Parks & Rec, Crash Landing on You.

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