Tune for Thursday: From Going Through the Motions to Going Deeper

 Dear Lovely Reader,

I don’t know about you, but I have been very blessed over my years of my Christian walk to have consistent quiet times. If I could have my way, I would probably spend an hour and a half to two hours in prayer and Bible time… but life happens, so this amount of time is usually reserved for Saturdays. However, lately I have felt my prayer life has been a bit surface-level, which has made me wonder why.

A couple of weeks ago, my church did a sermon on “The One Thing that is Necessary” using the story of Mary and Martha. {Link to Sermon on Youtube skip to 34:55}

But at the end of the sermon, Brad, one of our pastors, gave some practical tips:

1. Daily read, fix a time and place.
2. Pursue accountability
3. Confess: how many times do you talk to Him per day?
4. Attempt to share something that you read in your quiet time.
5. Memorize Scripture
6. Post Scripture where you can see it.
7. If it feels too intellectual, try including worship songs.
8. If your mind wanders, write out your prayer/meditation.

I wrote them down, but in my arrogance, I thought, “Just do it anyway.” There have been seasons in my life when my quiet time has just been a checklist duty, but in that, I know God blesses my obedience and that it will be fruitful.

Well, today I took some time to ask “God, why am I just feeling surface level?” Yes, I am busy, and there are a lot of moving parts, but I am walking through a season of basking in God’s love, feeling redeemed, restored, hopeful, and content. So why do my prayers seem so surface?

Was I just focusing on myself? When I do this, I turn to this prayer:  

From my prayer wall

"Heavenly Father, I thank you for the gift of life and the beauty of this world. I pray that you would fill our hearts with new hope and joy, especially for those who are struggling. May you bring healing and strength to those who are sick, comfort to those who are hurting, and peace to those who are weary. Bless all those around us, that we may know the power of your love and the strength of your grace.

May we be a source of light and hope to others, and may your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Amen."

And I try to break it down line by line and list out people who need prayers for in each part.

But still, while there are always a lot of people to pray for, my prayers seemed surface-level, so I asked, “Is there something —a thought, and influence, a power that is not of YOU?” I couldn’t think of anything… but I went to Brad’s #7 tip “If feels too intellectual; try including worship songs.” And I searched for “Repentance songs” and found this playlist: Link. On it, it had one of the songs I have on repeat a lot, so here I am sharing it with you:

"Underdressed" by Gable Price and Friends

So I'll leave you with this — like Martha, are you so busy doing good things — even good spiritual things — that you haven't stopped long enough to ask, 'God, why does something feel off between us?' When was the last time you set down your checklist, sat at His feet, and simply listened?

Thanks for reading, and if you have any songs you like to listen to, to draw you closer to God, please share them with me. 

Turning 40: 40 Fun and Personal Facts About Me (part 1)

 Dear Lovely Reader, 

It is now May... which is my birthday month. And as I am turning 40, I thought I would share 40 random facts/stories about me!

1. Born in Oklahoma City

One of my favorites from childhood 

2. Favorite drinks: tea, vanilla latte, Dr. Pepper

3. Favorite foods: Chinese, Italian, Pizza (though my doctor told me with some liver issues I have to go Gluten light -- not sure exactly what that means). 

4. Least favorite foods: eggs, seafood, cilantro (yes, I am one of those people that it tastes like soap) 

5. I have lived in 3 out of the 4 continental U.S. time zones, and have yet to live in the Mountain Time Zone. At one point, I thought about retiring to New Mexico (and while that still might happen... God can do mysterious things), but I think right now I want to retire in one of the Carolinas. Also, I have thoughts about getting a property (currently have no idea how to buy one), building a tiny home, another tiny home for a library and writing work area, and a third or fourth for ministry workers to come and rest. 

I don't know if this truly counts as a tiny home, but it is cute
Though not sure about the salmon color
Link

I currently reside in Houston. But I was born in Oklahoma City, then when I was 10 going on 11, my mom and I moved to the west coast, first living outside of Seattle for 2 years, then we (with my stepdad) moved to outside San Francisco, and for college I moved to Boston. I attended Suffolk University for undergrad and Simmons College (now Simmons University) for grad school. 

From my prom... I still love that dress

6. First concert saw (without parents): *NSYNC. Can't remember the first concert I saw. My mom worked at a college when I was growing up, and we frequently went to jazz performances, but when we lived in Seattle, we saw Bette Midler and Billy Joel, just not sure which one was first.  

7. First CD owned: Spice World, my Grandma PJ accidentally bought me the Spice Girls' second album. 

8. First Broadway Musical (On Broadway): Annie Get Your Gun with Bernadette Peters. I grew up watching musicals from Mary Poppins, The Sound of Music, My Fair Lady, Gigi, White Christmas, and others. But seeing a musical on stage was very cool, but I remember thinking how small the theaters were in New York compared to those I had been to on the West Coast. First live musical (Off-Broadway) — my mom might have to correct me, but I believe it was The King and I. But I do remember once in one of the college plays we saw Our Town. 

9. Favorite childhood memory: playing dress up with a friend or cousins and sister

See, this is the level of dress-up I am talking about.
Yep, this is my grandparents' (probably) 1960's kitchen

More to come... 

Life Lately: Tiny Travels, Family Fun, and Everyday Joys

 Dear Lovely Reader,

I’m tapping my pen and trying to think of what to write. It is April in Houston, which means it is the true beginning of the hot, humid season that will last till October (maybe till Thanksgiving).

Here is a pictorial update of my life:

Over spring break (early March), I took a couple of days and went to Round Rock, TX (a little bit north of Austin). I had never driven myself that far…Remember, I didn’t get my license till I moved to Houston.

I admit I got pulled over and given a warning for an expired registration (which, in Houston, no one cares about), so the first day I was a little hesitant to drive anywhere, but that was fine because the Airbnb I stayed in was near downtown, so I could walk around. I found Round Rock Donuts, which is apparently world-famous. I got some writing done at a little coffee shop, found the Round Rock Public Library (and, of course, took a picture). Enjoyed my quiet time outside on the porch (until the ants came), got some pretty sunsets, and took a lot of pictures of cute houses and flowers.

On my last day there, it was actually cool enough to wear a sweater and enjoy a hot latte while I walked around and found the rock the town was named for. All I can say is the park was really pretty, and it was bigger than Plymouth Rock (in Mass), which is not saying much.

{Plymouth Rock}

After getting back from Round Rock, my cat Beacon has needed lots of cuddle time.

I celebrated my nephew’s 11th birthday, where my niece and nephew decided my hair needed an upgrade—so they gave me a wild, gravity-defying comb-over.

Easter followed, and though I spent time with family, I somehow ended up with more photos of their pets than of people. My selfie skills have also gotten a workout lately—turns out, there’s a guy in Tennessee who enjoys a steady stream of my daily expressions.

Other than that, I have tried to make time to do creative writing, but sometimes things like laundry, talking to the guy, and helping a friend move have taken over my weekends. I did go to see The Gray Havens (website & Spotify)—they are a folk Christian band, I would say, with 289,496 monthly listeners; they probably have a cult following, but that makes tickets pretty cheap, and it’s fun. But it is a little different: people are not always standing or dancing around as you might typically do, but sitting and maybe seated-dancing, listening, and singing along. 

"Storehouse" The Gray Havens

Thanks for reading and sharing a piece of my spring with me—until next time!

It Feels Like Summer… But I’m Still Sitting with Advent (Honest Advent Review)

 Dear Reader,

In my previous “Book Blurbs,” I wrote about what the book was about and how I felt about it.

From Amazon (link):

Has the joy of the holiday season become painfully dissonant with the hard edges of life? Do you feel weary from the way Christmas has become a polished, predictable brand? You aren't alone. For too many of us, Christmas has lost its wonder. What if we stopped treating the Christmas story as something that happened a long time ago and started believing it's still happening today?

{pic}

From celebrated artist and storyteller Scott Erickson comes Honest Advent: 25 days of illustrations and meditations to help you rekindle the wonder of this season. Honest Advent creates a space for you to encounter the Incarnate Christ in unexpected places: like a pregnancy announcement in an era of political unrest and empirical bloodshed, the morning sickness of a Middle Eastern teenager, and the shocking biology of birth that goes far beyond the sanitized brand of Christmas as we know it today.

Through powerful benedictions, prayers, and questions for honest reflection, you'll discover how the wonder of God-with-Us is still happening today: in your unexpected change of plans, your unaccomplished dreams, your overcrowded lodging, and your humble stories of new beginnings.

I will agree that Christmas has sometimes lost its wonder, not just because it is March, almost April, but because Christmas is a busy season in my job, there is an end-of-year giving campaign, and outside my job there is just a busyness in the rush of a season, but there is also a feeling of that things should be right in the world, and they aren’t, but as Advent is a time of coming I am looking forward to the second coming when Christ will set all things right.

I will say this book did its job of highlighting God showing up in the hardest parts of humanity, and while I would say parts of it “rekindle the wonder of God-with-us.” Mostly, it made me think and ponder: Where is God? What is he leading me to? How am I embracing the God-with-us? How is He embracing me?

The book does a good job of exploring what it means to seek meaning or inspiration during times when life doesn’t feel particularly full of wonder. However, a couple of aspects felt awkward. As both an artist and an author, Scott Erickson included some of his own artwork throughout the book. While some pieces were interesting, others came across as distracting.

{pic}

Above pic based off of
{pic}

I did like this one of Eve placing her hand on Mary’s belly—in the picture, Eve is experiencing the hope and grace from brokenness she never thought she would see. Also, he used chunks of the page to highlight a quote he wanted to draw attention to, but sometimes it was in the middle of the page, making it nearly impossible to read. (But that is not so much about writing but about the publishing format).  

Not sure if I’ll read it again next Christmas, but that is still 9 or 8 months away (I’m not good at math).

One of the more distracting pics 
{pic}

Overall, the book offers valuable insights into navigating spiritual searching during difficult times, even if some artistic choices occasionally detract from the reading experience. Despite these minor distractions, its thoughtful approach to seeking meaning makes it a worthwhile read.

Something to think about: 
What might change if I stopped looking for wonder in the way I expect it to appear, and instead learned to recognize God-with-us in the places that feel unfinished, uncomfortable, or quietly ordinary?

Honest Advent: Paying Attention in the Waiting (Part 2)

Dear Reader, 

{link}

In my previous post (link), I shared a few passages from Honest Advent that met me in my unease and questions. As I’ve continued sitting with the book, more words have surfaced — quiet invitations to trust, to wrestle, and to remain present in the waiting.

Moving on to a later chapter called "Virgin," Erickson writes, "Your transformation throughout life will be a paradox. One truth is that you have agency to make decisions to change and transform the parts you wish... Gratitude and thankfulness are choices you can make to transform your perspective in every situation” (pg. 85-86).

Lately, I have been feeling stuck in life. As I mentioned before, I have let my struggles have a big voice—and I have to be reminded, often, to “take every thought captive to God” (2 Corinthians 10:5). That reminder takes a certain amount of strength. For me, it feels much easier to bury my mind in scrolling, watching TV, or getting lost in distractions than to turn my thoughts to God—even though He already knows them.

In the chapter “With,” Erickson writes, “There is so much we don’t have control over, and it will change us no matter what. What we do have is agency to respond to these forces. The ability to decide how we are going to let them change us—for better or worse,” (pg. 139). In this, I need (and I think everybody) to let go of control and depend on God—I just wish I knew better how?

Later in the chapter about the magi (”Attention”), he states, “The deep desire of the magi was to connect with the creator of the world, and they trusted the creator to reveal the interior journey of the soul in the exterior world around them... but because of their deep desire to know God, they were willing to trust the signs in the sky to go and see” (pg. 175). Erickson mentions that the magi looked at the patterns in the sky and knew the star pointed to God. He uses this illustration to show that when we pay attention and seek God, we notice patterns in our lives and in the world pointing to God.

It reminds me of a quote: “the place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet,” by theologian Frederick Buechner in his book Wishful Thinking (I might need to add that to my reading list). (And if you want to go down the rabbit hole, I welcome you—Click here). The point for me, I think, is paying attention to and seeking God, and looking for patterns in your life; you will find life-giving things. Sometimes I look out for non-life-giving things and cut those out. So I can focus on God and life-giving things.

Ultimately, this season is calling me to pay attention to the patterns, the invitations, and the gentle nudges that point me back to God. I may not always have clear answers, but in the waiting and the wondering, I want to remain open to what God is revealing. Maybe the real invitation is simply to trust that, even in uncertainty, presence and attentiveness are enough.

I leave you with these questions:

Where have you noticed patterns or gentle invitations in your own life that might be pointing you toward something deeper?

What are the distractions or non-life-giving things you might need to let go of in order to pay closer attention to God’s presence?

In what ways is waiting or uncertainty inviting you to trust or remain present?

Thanks for reading.