I am sorry I don't have a "Frivolous Friday" post for you with things going on in Charleston, SC and other things happening "Frivolous Friday" was kind of trivial. Then I remembered "Frivolous Friday" was meant to post whatever what I wanted. Here are some lovely words of inspiration and messages of hope:
I was talking to my dad and we got to an awkward part of the conversation about my student loans and my work life. He never wants to put his nose in my business (unless I let him) but as I am his child he is concerned about me. But he knows I am struggling after being done with school with looking for a job and trying to make ends meet (which is true for a lot of fresh graduates). Any way, he said something "I just don't want you climbing up the wrong ladder only to discover it is the wrong ladder."
I wrote that last paragraph on Tuesday and if I continued it his post probably be a "woe is me" post and I have written enough of those lately. While I want this blog to be true to my feelings I don't need to keep writing "boo poor me" post. (Sometimes I am really way to self involved and think only of myself. But there is a whole big world beyond myself and this computer.)
I went to grad-school and got my Master's in Library Science and Master's in History. There were moments when I felt I was going to drop out, not because it was too hard but because I wasn't sure if it was what I wanted to do with my life. I have now finished my degree and I am happy to now have my masters under my belt but it doesn't help me know what to do with my life. I went into Library Science because I wanted to work for the Library of Congress and while that would still be awesome I am not sure if that is my life goal. So I changed my mind I wanted to become a reference archivist. I wanted to help people with their research. Now I have a job as a researcher for a start-up company and it is a good job and often when I leave my desk I know I have helped my boss.
Today, I read the verses:
We have different gifts, according to the grace given to us... If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously... (Romans 12:6-8 NIV)
I have a bright teal post-it in that page that I wrote years ago saying:
I really like reading that verse because I often beat myself up for "not being good enough" that just hurts my self-esteem and I cut down on God's creation. I'm not perfect but God made me beautiful work and I shouldn't be so negative.
I think I listen to my negative voices more than anything else. I even told my dad on Monday night that I kept him out of certain areas of my life because I didn't want to disappoint him. He told me that I would never disappoint him. But it is still hard to let go of the voice of disappointment.
I think I am more disappointed in myself (I write that very carefully knowing my mom is a loyal reader of my blog). In high school and college I had a plan for my life... Once I got out of high school I had planned out my life in detail and now I feel like none of those dreams or aspirations are true anymore. And the truth is I don't know what I want to do with my life. I don't write that in the "boo hoo" kind of way but just in a very matter of fact kind of way.
Going back to the verses I read this morning, we all have different gifts that we should use to help improve our little corner of the world. The little notes in my bible said we can't change the whole world by ourselves but the body of Christ can.
Lately I have been feeling passionless and I think its because I have not felt God's presence in my life. I believe God is using this time to help me grow in my patience as I wait till what comes next. I think He is also using this time to see if I will truly trust His guidance. I know I have quoted this friend before but the words keep coming back to me about God wanting our best. But I don't think He is just going to give it to us. He is going to make us wait, struggle and keep hoping for it. I say this not because I think God is cruel... not at all.
But imagine if we got everything we wanted the moment you wanted it. While that sounds great at first I think we wouldn't value the things we had, and we wouldn't appreciate the things we got. I know for example when I got my very first pay check and realized when I wanted to buy something how many hours I had to work to pay for it. It started to put things in perspective and if I really wanted something expensive I would save and wait for it. Then when I got it, it was worth the wait. Sometimes I would want a nice bag (for example) so I would save and wait. While I was saving and waiting I would find an opportunity to go visit my sister (a plane ticket). To me the visit to see my sister was more important than the bag and I could buy both so I would switch my priorities.
I think God is using this time for me to wait and save and to hold out for something better then just temporarily filling my life what might be good and waiting for the best.
I have more thoughts but I feel this post has become quite a tangent. I think I need to refocus my thoughts.
Our first pic together... already being the protective sister
I have posted shout outs to my friends and various family members on their birthday's or special occasions... So today I am giving a shout out to my sister on her birthday. She probably doesn't know what an inspiration she is for me. She inspires me in her faith, her marriage and what kind of mom she is... if there was one person I would change life with it would be her. We didn't always get along but I know she will always have my back and protect me.
There are not many "sister" songs out there but here is a song from our past
"Sisters" from White Christmas.
We had dance skills
Oh the back rubs
Over the years we had such style...
and poise.
I remember loved being tossed up and down.
and our snuggle times
Time with the grandparents was awesome
but nothing as awesome as sister time..
Visiting Harvard
Celebrating her little one to be..
Visiting D.C. with future niece in tow.
My first ski trip... she was so patient with me
My first trip to Denver at the Molly Brown house
Sister love is the best
Celebrating her big day
We let some others into our sister time... but they have only been great additions
At the zoo with niece
In Florida
With her then husband-to-be
Mom (Nana) and the lovely kids
These pictures are not all in order...
it was great going through them and going through all the memories.
So I love my birthday, not because of the gifts, but because it means my friends (from all the different parts of my life) get together and it is lots of fun. I have had some friends that have been in my life for a long time so we have lots of birthday memories together (LOVE!). This year has been no different very memorable...
niece, sister, nephew and I
First lets go back to last Friday when I flew to my mom's house in the desert of California. We have had a very long winter here in Boston so it was nice to pull out my summer clothes and feel the very warm sun on my skin. Though it was mother's day my mom treated me to mother daughter pedicures and the woman giving me a pedicure asked "you're so pale where are you from?" "Boston," I said though being of Irish and English descent I will never be dark. My mom basically spoiled me for the week treating me to good dinners out and one of my favorite meals (Stuffed green peppers). She bought me some new cute shoes and a relaxing week (a massage, a few strawberry margaritas, and other treats). While the treats were good it was great to spend the week with my sister, niece and nephew. Also my Grandma made me dinner at her house and bought me my favorite cake (German Chocolate). So thanks mom and step-dad for the awesome treat of that week...
Awesome auntie time
with step-dad
Then when I got back to Boston I had a great dinner with some of my good girl friends where I got a some
bookish things and a Starbucks gift card. Then today I received a one year subscription to Netflix. Books, coffee and movies... my friends know me so well. Okay, I know I started out this post saying I don't care about the gifts and I really don't...a co-worker asked me "what I wanted?" and I couldn't think of anything. I feel so blessed that I can't think of anything I want. It is not about the gifts it is about having friends and family that I know that will love and support me.
However, I don't want anything materialistically my friend asked me at dinner "What is one thing I want to do this year?" And my answer is to finish my thesis and FINALLY graduate grad-school. I can't imagine my life not being a student but I sure would like to.
Here are some memorable birthdays since moving to Boston...
From top left down:
21st birthday dinner with friends and Dad, then getting baptized the next day... great to have dad for both occasions
Going to my first Red Sox game and it being Lester's no hitter
Graduating college a few days before my 23rd birthday.
It wasn't really for my birthday but my bible study went to Rochester, NY for the Lilac festival and it was around my birthday time so I remember it as my 24th birthday
Doing Karaoke for my 25th birthday
Birthday party to help me raise support to go to Honduras
Last year going to Newport with my mom and seeing the beautiful mansions.
