Monday #Littleloves

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 Hello Lovely Readers,

Through my book challenge and the Twitter #26BookswithBringupBurns I found the blog Typically Ted and found the great badge #LittleLoves

And in the blog it talks about the little loves in your life... so here I go.

It is less than a week from going on my first trip with my mom to Paris. 

My mom and I have been planning this trip for years so I am excited but it seems surreal for it to be coming true. 

 

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Every time I say "surreal" I always think of Noting Hill.

Reading

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 Book 12 in my challenge The Chance fulfills the requirement of reading a book you own but haven't read. My friend gave it to me for my last birthday but I just got around to reading it. It wasn't very long and the story is cute with a good message about hope, forgiveness and second chances. 

Link
Am I the only one who thinks it is odd that books have trailers that are like movie trailers?

Watch

Now that both Park and Rec and Parenthood are over I really only have one TV show that I watch on a usual bases and that is Reign. 

However, I just finished watching the show Turn that was on AMC (through Netflix)

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And I am not ashamed admit that I watched it mostly because of JJ Fields 

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Who yes is a bad guy (well bad if you are rooting for America) but I love him as Mr. Tilney in Northanger Abbey so it was interesting to see him play a bad guy.

Mr Tilney

Also I have started watching Arrested Development for the first time since I did not watch it when it was on TV but I am only a few episodes in and thus far have not felt the need to binge watch it.

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 Wore

 Breaking in new shoes for Paris

Heard

Usually I listen to NPR in the morning while at work and then in the afternoon I turn on my Pandora account. I have a 90's Pop Radio station and I love when an N*SYNC songs come on and I still sing every word.

Planning

Besides my trip to Paris,  I am planning a trip to see my sister and meet my newest nephew. 

From my trip meeting my first niece

Still can't believe that picture was taken more than 5 years ago.

Okay those are my #littleloves for the week. 

"Busy Nothings"

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I love Period Dramas and I am so happy to find so many bloggers have a love for them too... probably my favorite thing about blog is that you can find a little community of other people who love the same things as you do.

Anyway, I was inspired by Miss Dashwood's post title "A Quick Succession of Busy Nothings" a line from Jane Austen's Mansfield Park. It seemed to be a fun way to tell her readers what is happening in her life. She said in her post that she doesn't update her readers much on what is happening with her life... Well that is not the same for me as for the most part I use this blog as an online journal but I liked her format so I am coping it. Though I have to change some of the topics as I don't sow or act.

So here we go my "Busy Nothings"...

~~Reading As school is starting I decided to end my "Summer Reading" list, but this does not mean I have stopped reading. I am currently reading two books (usually something I can't do well). One is The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis. And The Winding Road by Cynthia Harrod Eagles. This is apart of her Morland Dynasty series that have become addicted at least the ones about the Edwardian time period and WWI. This book is about 1920's and all the flash of the Jazz Age.

My favorite book of hers
Full of great descriptions of Edwardian Society

~~Listening I listen to a great a variety of things from Country (as long as its not to twangy), folk, some pop, musicals, and Christian. But lately I have been enjoying Mumford and Sons, All the Sons and Daughters, for King and Country, and Mercy Me. But my go to song has been "Arms" by Christina Perri. I fell in love with it when I saw a fan made video of Parks and Rec music video set to that song.

I know I have featured this video before but I still love it.

~~Decorating As I have said a lot on this blog... I have moved into my new apartment. And I am happy to say I feel very settled into this new place. Also I have wall in the living room that is very much my fashion wall. Fortunately my roommate and I have very similar taste or she doesn't mind my obsession with vintage fashion.

My wall

I am also going through and "re-decorating" my blog. I have changed the background and I have taken down my "good reads" section on the side and replaced it with some quotes. I had those "good read" books up for close to 2 years and I thought it was just time to mix things up...don't want this blog to get stale. Might do some other changes but essence of this blog will be the same.

~~Painting I have never been a big person to paint my nails... at least, it seemed like a hassle and painting my right hand looked like the work of Jackson Pollack. But after my friend's wedding, my nails looked so pretty I have tried to make more of an effort painting them.

Picture of Bridal party
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Probably my favorite picture of the night... not because I am in the front
but because it was such a cute moment.
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~~Watching probably too much TV. My new roommate has awesome cable... I haven't had this much cable since my dorm years and I must say it is addicting. Today I discovered Boy Meets World has reruns on MTV2.

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~~Working work is work not much changes but I am trying to get my mind wrapped around the idea of finishing school and entering the "real world." Still not sure if library science is truly what I want to pursue... but right now I need to just focus on finishing school. Until I do enter the "real world" I am going to enjoy days to sleep in and naps.

~~Anticipating There is currently a lot I am anticipating... being done with Grad School (though that comes with a lot of angst as well as some good things). Lots of people look forward to fall but I am just enough as a pessimist to know fall means winter is coming and I hate winter (it last way too long) but I am looking forward to Pumpkin flavors everywhere. I think the one thing I am looking forward the most is my sister having another little nugget.

This was their announcement

I love being Aunt Blaire and so far my sister and brother-in-law have made cute kids so I am totally excited for this little one to come a long. 

~~Writing the answer should be obvious... my thesis, But as the next topic is "Studying" I will say I am writing my story The Grand Days (working title). I am doing a mix of both writing it and typing it up. I have never been one to stare at a blank screen and write creatively so I always have to hand write my stories. Then as they progress I start to type them up.

~~Studying As I have stated a few times. This semester I am writing my thesis. So I am learning a lot about working women's lives and their fashion at the turn of the 20th century. I am hoping to see how this liberated women before they got the vote. I wrote an undergraduate thesis and for that I wrote about the antebellum movement to get rid of the corset...which as you know was not successful. I was kind of hoping in this time I would find women throwing out their corsets but I haven't found much literature on that. But I have found a lot of literature on more and more women being in control of their own money and therefore found more freedom that way... that might be my approach.

A classic picture of a clerical worker

~~Reminders I love motivational quotes so I have a rather large pinterest board on them... but its probably time for me to start reading them

-John Green
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Body thoughts

From the movie "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty"
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I am a modest person... I do prefer to cover myself up and I have always thought that modesty was more beautiful. But lately I have been wondering if I hide behind the idea of being modest because I am not confident in my body.

my cousin and I... last summer

I don't have an amazing body and I am okay with that. I don't consider myself sexy and I am okay with that. I cast myself as a Plain Jane and no matter how many times my friends and family tell me I am beautiful I have a hard time believing it. I don't know why this is but sometimes I think I use my ideals of modesty to try my body. There are many moments in my life when I don't feel comfortable in my body or knowing that people are looking at me. One of those moments are when I am in a bathing suit... yep I wear a one piece and wear shorts over them. In one respect I like wearing a one piece because my husband will be the first man to see my belly button (I know that might sound odd.) This pays off because I don't have to apply additional sunscreen but the number one reason I wear the shorts is I don't like my legs or at least my thighs.

I also have a friend who keeps asking me to work out with her. And I know I should it is healthy. But the gym I work out feels like a fashion show with women wearing the newest lulu lemon and don't even sweat. When I think about working out I think about hiding away and no one seeing me. Even still my mind just goes into negative mode. I know I am not in shape, I know that is bad however I don't feel comfortable with the idea of working out. 

It actually makes me feel mentally paralyzing and a hatred of my body.

I know that is bad thinking and it hurts my heart thinking that way. In the Bible it talks about in Genesis how God made us in His image. And there is scripture about how the body is the temple of God. "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own"-1 Corinthians 6:19. I know these verses are talking about sexual morality... but its true, God has called our bodies his Temple.

From all my readings The Temple in the Old Testament was a sacred spot where the presence of God lived in. Then after Jesus the Holy Spirit (the presence of God) was to live in our hearts, and in that our bodies are temples of God. That is a powerful statement... but what does it say about me that there are times I hate my body?

Before I go to far-- let me say these feelings are not everyday. Most of the time (with a bit of make-up) I think I am pretty. So I don't want my mom (my most consistent reader to be concerned about me). These are just passing thoughts and writing them out helps me think about them more and get to the through and muddle through them. Also I hope in my idealistic way that I will write these post and maybe get communication going about things people may not usually talk about. 

I started off this post thinking that hide behind my modesty because I think I lack confidence in my body... but now I am wondering if it is a deeper issue. I am still muddling through these thoughts. If you have any thoughts please let me know... THANKS!

Just thought it was funny
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Adulthood Angst....

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In my last post I wrote about how I related to Tris because of her angst... in the book she is dealing with first love and trying to find her place in her world. In the book Tris feels she has to make one choice and follow it wholeheartedly, but because she is Divergent she has multiple paths and that is how life is. Thankfully (and sometimes not so thankfully) we all have multiple paths.

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I am grad-school and I am almost at the end. I hopefully have one more semester... though I feel I have said this a few times because I had to delay my thesis a few times. This has given me time to think of what I want to do with my life.

When I was in high school I wanted to be Abigail Chase, Diane Kruger, character in National Treasure.  She was a confident, and though she was a history nerdy girl she was was also very sexy. Also, she knew everything about everything, which was cool. For like split second I thought about doing Political Science but then I realized I loved history and escaping into the past. So I decided to pursue history in undergrad. I moved to Boston, on an almost gut reaction, because from almost the moment I visited it felt like it was home. Plus it didn't hurt that it was one of the most historical cities in the US. And basically minus the really cold winters and spells of homesickness I love Boston and I have been blessed with a second family here.

Now I am grad-school, and thinking about my future I often wonder if this path I chose going into library science and history is what I am suppose to be doing. For awhile I thought about leaving everything I know and going on missions. But the more time I thought about it, it didn't feel right. I had a passion for it but over time I lost it and sometimes I feel I have no idea what to do...

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Sometimes, it scares me because I am usually a person with a five year plan, but I feel my five year plan has changed a few times. Right now I am embracing I don't have a plan, because right now I can hide behind the idea of just working on my thesis. I can put off real life and trying to be an adult. I guess this why I relate to Tris... she is still trying to make decisions of her life and figure things out.  Fortunately for me I am not also trying to fight a corrupt government (thank goodness).

Even though I am trying to figure things out I am glad I have some solid things to hang on to. I have my family, my second family, my friends, my faith... all these things have held me up and held me together and I a thankful for those. Also I am glad to figure out that like Tris we don't have one path and one choice. 

A previous post Figuring some things out...

My week in pictures and song

Here are some highlights from this week hope you enjoy...

I have posted a motivational song as I prepare for the end of this semester... here is another one.

I have only seen Hercules a few times, but this song has made my list of motivational song to keep me going. 

Song: Go the Distance

From Hercules 

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Spring has FINALLY come to Boston, as winter felt painfully long, I have never had a green thumb, but I do love flowers starting to bloom. Since moving to Boston I have discovered that daffodils are one of the first flowers to bloom and I have grown to love them as a sign of hope.

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As it spring now I get to switch over to my spring and summer scent (and my favorite scent) of Marc Jacobs Daisy. Last year my Grandpa sent me money for my birthday stating that I had to spend it on something frivolous so I bought this perfume that I love. 

We are experiencing April showers here in Boston and in hopeful romantic, period drama watching way I have always loved the rain. Rain always brings out a freshness in the time. Today as I was walking around getting some errands done I felt like it was a perfect story book rain storm. 

Marianne from Sense and Sensibility (2008)
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Also I have had some hard times with my thesis and I have felt trapped not knowing what to do next, well today I had a meeting with my reader and she gave me some good advice and now I truly feel motivated to get re-started. I feel like a lot of my spring semester has been re-starting.

I believe Mark Twain is author of this quote
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As motivation of my writing, I have changed my computer background... 

Also as a fan-girl it has been a good week... First I am so happy that Parks and Rec has provided us with some cute Ben and Leslie moments. I have felt this season has been lacking some cute and much needed Ben and Leslie moments (and to be honest that is why I started watching the show). In season 5 they introduced the "Ben and Leslie Family Album" but since then nothing about that until this week. 

"Family Album"
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Also, I have been watching the Emma Approved series and have greatly enjoyed it, so it makes me even happier to know that the actors in real life are dating. They have great chemistry on screen on so this is wonderful for this fangirl. 

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Here is a short little preview of some of their on air chemistry...

Video: Emma & Alex Knightley | Into the blue

By: Thatfangirl 

I am also re-reading one of my favorite novels, I Capture the Castle, re-reading some novels to me is like snuggling under a warm blanket even if I am on the T. I know what is going to happen but I still enjoy remembering the details. 

I know this post has been rather frivolous, but I hope you have enjoyed it. 

Screen shot of Cassandra and Stephen walking through the blue bells.
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*I wrote this post on Tuesday and now having bragged about how glorious the weather has been here it has decided to return to a normal spring weather of close to 50s. 

Finding peace in escapism

Hello lovely readers,

I know in my last post I write about wanting to escape... well I haven't run away (so no worries). Also after my last post my cousin told me "Find something that brings peace to your soul and wallow on through."I think I have...

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Lady Adelaide from
"Lark Rise to Candleford"

In all this I have found myself wanting to escape into my story (still untitled). In the summer and over last semester any free time I had was spent working on this story. I have made many changes to it over time for one I was originally writing it in first person perspective, and I have changed some of my characters name. One character was originally named "Lady Elizabeth" but over the summer I fell for the series Lark Rise to Candleford and there is a character Lady Adelaide and I found her very inspiring. Sometimes I hated her because she seemed so cold but I think deep down she was just hurt and her coldness was her protective wall. I think she got into my mind and I changed the character Lady Elizabeth name to Lady Adelaide. When I first started writing this story she wasn't suppose to be a major character, but now I have her almost as a second mother to Mattie. She is also suppose to have a deep hurt that makes her hide from the world and it is not until Mattie comes into her life that she truly comes to life. As a writer I am always happy to explore the paths my characters take me on.

I have also find escapism in reading. I know my life should be all about my thesis and class work (and I feel I give it enough) so when I am on the T, I allow myself to read fun novels. I am currently reading my friend's novel The Truth About the Sky... to be honest it is not my typical read as I mostly read historical fictions, but I don't know anyone in real life that has been published so got support my friends. Plus it is good to read outside of your comfort zone.

Plot...

As a Pastor's kid, Kim has been told her whole life that God can see every mistake she makes. Now that she's a college dropout, unemployed and in a questionable relationship with a party guy, her mistakes are all the more obvious. (Especially to her demanding mother, who, apparently, thinks wearing jeans on a commercial flight is a sin.) If only she could move away! Then she could hide from gossip and no one would see her mess up.

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There is suppose to be a scandal to arise testing Kim's questioning faith but so far none has come up... so I am looking forward to reading that and how it is handled. 

Next I want to go back and re-read some of my favorite books, that have set on my shelf too long. I find going back and re-reading some favorites is very soothing like eating comfort food or a nice cup of tea. 

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On the thesis front I have been progressing with research, mostly right now I transcribing records of working women's reports on their expenses into excel in order to gain insight into how much money they spent on clothes and on recreation vs. what their income was. Excel is awesome for this as I can do percentages and averages with very little actual math. (Of course I had to call my dad to ask him how to do it). Of course while I have been doing this I have been marathon watching some of my favorite shows, just as back ground noise but quite amusing. This has been kind of comforting as well.

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Of course nothing beats hanging out with friends. I am not always good about asking to hang out (I know it sounds backwards when I complain about loneliness) but it is. But the last 3 weekends and some other scattered days I have hung out with friends... mostly just crashing and watching TV but I have also gone bowling, tried on my bride's maid dress for my friends wedding, and all 3 weekends had Chinese food. (I have discovered I like scallion pancakes and crab rangoo). 

Not to go against Ron Swanson but I have to say most sadness can be cured with Chinese Food. 

Things are up in the air

Hello Lovely Readers,

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It is Monday afternoon and for some reason it feels like a good reason to sit down and blog and I have plenty of thoughts but I can't seem to find the words so this post may not make much sense (sorry). It is the end of the March and supposedly the beginning of spring though we are expecting more snow this week.

First, I have posted in the past that this semester I am working on my thesis. It is not an easy process, I have had a mental set back as talking to my adviser she was not happy with my work, I have thought many times about quitting, and when people try to talk to me about my thesis (even though encouraging) I have shut down. I don't know what is going on but its been draining and I think people around me have noticed (at least my co-workers have). I feel I have gone from my usual "Leslie Knope-self" to feeling more like April Ludgate.

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Leslie vs. April

Well I am still not very talkative about my thesis most because it still is a bit overwhelming I have made some progress in the research... needless to say I am not going to get it done this semester and will be taking an extension with it and will be writing it and hopefully finishing it over the summer. So eventually I will have my masters but it is a long draining process.

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Second I have felt a little lack luster about life, I mean with me doing research all day in my apartment I consider the day a triumph if I get out of my PJs and in to yoga pants. Last semester my friends who work with GoCorps came to do a presentation about going into the Missions field for the next two years and I instantly sparked something in me and I was all gung-ho about applying for a teaching position in Northern Africa. But now I am not so sure...

I am not so sure if missions is right for me or what I should be doing with my life.

I feel there are a lot of doors open but instead of being able to decide what door to choose I just feel stuck. I also feel like just running away.

When I was a junior in high school, I suffered from minor depression,  I remember sitting in my Spanish Class (because it was my only class with windows), staring out across the San Francisco Bay and planning to go to Oakland, get on an Amtrak train and just go away. I thought somehow then that if I ran away all my problems would go away to. I sort of ran away. I found a college on the opposite side of the country from everything I had known and moved to Boston. Even though I was on the other side of the country the problems didn't disappear.

I remembering that now because I feel like running away. I don't know where I would go according to Buzzfeed quizzes I either belong in Cape Town, South Africa or China. If I could I think I would run away to England or Paris. Or crash on my sister's couch (if she would let me) and get in some necessary Auntie Blaire time. Sadly I can't just run away, I have responsibilities of rent, taking care of my cat, and other adult things.

So I feel I am just waiting for things to make sense. However I can't wait too long because here in Boston people are already looking for September leases and I don't know where I will be living yet. So yeah things are up in the air and I am just wanting to escape.

So things are pretty up in the air...

For some escapism
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Having just finished this post, I don't want you my lovely readers to think I am all "boo is me", I just sometimes feel writing out my thoughts is easier than actually saying them.

Lovelies for Monday

I know Mondays are not the best day so to hopefully make your day a little brighter here is a sweet song featuring one of my favorite shows... 

Song: Arms 

By: Christina Perri

Clips: Parks and Rec

I used to never spend anytime on YouTube. I had friends who would always ask me if I had seen a video and my response was "Is it on YouTube? Then No." But now I love YouTube, especially when I need a quick study break. I really appreciate these fan made videos.  

It is a beautiful song, I hope you like..

"Arms" 

I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart
But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start

You put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go
You put your arms around me and I'm home

How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around?
I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown

I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home

The world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved
I never wanna leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone

You put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go...

I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home

I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth
And I've never opened up
I've never truly loved 'til you put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go

I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home

You put your arms around me and I'm home

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