Happy Easter!

HAPPY EASTER!

Every Easter I love watching the wonderful musical Easter Parade. 

(Since I originally posted this back in 2012 the video I had shared has been removed here is another great scene)

When ever holidays come around it is funny what you remember, things I remember from Easter...

1. I am not sure if we watched it on Easter or not but I remember watching the movie Easter Parade at my Nana and Grandpa's house and now every Easter I want to watch it.

2. Easter dresses- I remember every year having to wear white tights and patent leather shoes, at least until I was in my teens and the first year I did not wear those items I felt so grown up.

Some Examples of my Easter Dresses:

My sister, Granddad and I

My dad and I. 

3. Bunnies -I remember every year my mom got us a stuffed bunny for Easter, one of them was rose colored and I named her Felicity. We put all our bunnies on top of our fireplace mantel and we called it bunnies on parade.

4. Easter Brunch- When we were at my mom's house we always went out for a special brunch, they were probably the nicest meals we ate growing up.

5. New York City- when I was in 6th grade my mom took my sister and I to New York City and we stayed in the Plaza Hotel.Sad to say I don't remember much about that trip. I went to the Disney store near time square and I begged my mom that instead of my Easter bunny to buy a vintage looking Eeyore. I know it might be silly but it is still the stuff animal I sleep with.

6. Easter egg hunts- I remember when my Grandma would put bible verses in little eggs... when you are kid you look forward to the candy so I always felt chipped getting Easter eggs with verses. Now I am glad that she tried to keep Easter still close to God, when so many people make it about the Easter bunny. Also I remember my younger cousin, who is at least seven years younger than me, enjoyed Easter egg hunts much longer than we did but I felt bad she didn't have some one to play with so I pretended to be excited about Easter egg hunts even when I was fourteen.

7. Peeps- I know a lot of people find peeps disgusting. But I love them. One year in college I put on Facebook about how I didn't get any Peeps that year and she sent me boxes of Peeps. But I am a traditionalist I only eat Peeps at Easter time.

{Pic}

Hope you have a wonderful Easter!

The Finale

Wrong ladder?

{pic}

I was talking to my dad and we got to an awkward part of the conversation about my student loans and my work life. He never wants to put his nose in my business (unless I let him) but as I am his child he is concerned about me. But he knows I am struggling after being done with school with looking for a job and trying to make ends meet (which is true for a lot of fresh graduates). Any way, he said something "I just don't want you climbing up the wrong ladder only to discover it is the wrong ladder."

I wrote that last paragraph on Tuesday and if I continued it his post probably be a "woe is me" post and I have written enough of those lately. While I want this blog to be true to my feelings I don't need to keep writing "boo poor me" post. (Sometimes I am really way to self involved and think only of myself. But there is a whole big world beyond myself and this computer.)
I went to grad-school and got my Master's in Library Science and Master's in History. There were moments when I felt I was going to drop out, not because it was too hard but because I wasn't sure if it was what I wanted to do with my life. I have now finished my degree and I am happy to now have my masters under my belt but it doesn't help me know what to do with my life. I went into Library Science because I wanted to work for the Library of Congress and while that would still be awesome I am not sure if that is my life goal. So I changed my mind I wanted to become a reference archivist. I wanted to help people with their research. Now I have a job as a researcher for a start-up company and it is a good job and often when I leave my desk I know I have helped my boss.

Today, I read the verses:

We have different gifts, according to the grace given to us... If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously... (Romans 12:6-8 NIV)

I have a bright teal post-it in that page that I wrote years ago saying:

I really like reading that verse because I often beat myself up for "not being good enough" that just hurts my self-esteem and I cut down on God's creation. I'm not perfect but God made me beautiful work and I shouldn't be so negative. 

 I think I listen to my negative voices more than anything else. I even told my dad on Monday night that I kept him out of certain areas of my life because I didn't want to disappoint him. He told me that I would never disappoint him. But it is still hard to let go of the voice of disappointment.

I think I am more disappointed in myself (I write that very carefully knowing my mom is a loyal reader of my blog). In high school and college I had a plan for my life... Once I got out of high school I had planned out my life in detail and now I feel like none of those dreams or aspirations are true anymore. And the truth is I don't know what I want to do with my life. I don't write that in the "boo hoo" kind of way but just in a very matter of fact kind of way.

{pic}

Going back to the verses I read this morning, we all have different gifts that we should use to help improve our little corner of the world. The little notes in my bible said we can't change the whole world by ourselves but the body of Christ can.  

I wrote all that before I wrote my post, Not Forsaken pt.4

Lately I have been feeling passionless and I think its because I have not felt God's presence in my life. I believe God is using this time to help me grow in my patience as I wait till what comes next. I think He is also using this time to see if I will truly trust His guidance. I know I have quoted this friend before but the words keep coming back to me about God wanting our best. But I don't think He is just going to give it to us. He is going to make us wait, struggle and keep hoping for it. I say this not because I think God is cruel... not at all.

But imagine if we got everything we wanted the moment you wanted it. While that sounds great at first I think we wouldn't value the things we had, and we wouldn't appreciate the things we got. I know for example when I got my very first pay check and realized when I wanted to buy something how many hours I had to work to pay for it. It started to put things in perspective and if I really wanted something expensive I would save and wait for it. Then when I got it, it was worth the wait. Sometimes I would want a nice bag (for example) so I would save and wait. While I was saving and waiting I would find an opportunity to go visit my sister (a plane ticket). To me the visit to see my sister was more important than the bag and I could buy both so I would switch my priorities.

I think God is using this time for me to wait and save and to hold out for something better then just temporarily filling my life what might be good and waiting for the best.

I have more thoughts but I feel this post has become quite a tangent. I think I need to refocus my thoughts.

Pin of the week

If you hang out with me for any given amount of time you will learn I love Pinterest. My friends make fun of me saying they I know it is my pin without even seeing who pinned it... usually because it is an old fashion dress. And while I love pinning old fashion dresses and I have found inspirations for my stories there, I love finding great quotes as well (and sharing them with you).

{pic}

As I posted in my Happy Easter ! post that my church is going through a series "I AM", when Jesus says "I am..." and on the first week we talked about how Jesus calls himself the Good Shepard and he referenced Psalm 23 and though this chapter is frequently referenced and because of that it is easy to skim through it and not take in what it really means. But my pastor challenged us to really try to memorize it. So I wrote it out and posted it to my mirror, that I look into when I am doing my make-up. During my prayer time I have been reflecting what it really means to have God as my Good Shepard.

{my make-up mirror}

Lately, I have been feeling a lack of God's presence in my life and while I have not doubted God and I know He is here. I have been questioning why do I not feel him, then I look at my life and realize I do a lot to block him out. I feel I have some put up so many barriers around me that it is like a wall around my heart. Yesterday, I read James 4:15 "Instead, you ought to say 'if it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that'." And that got me thinking... what is the Lord's will. My dad and I were talking that sometimes we think of God's will as being a tightrope that we get nervous about falling off. And I thought, how true but I think God's will is wide enough to take our imperfections and make them perfect in Him. Which, personally find really awesome because God is not limited to a narrow pathway and we are not limited by fear of falling off.  We can make mistakes, wrong turns, detours, and U turns and God can work with it. 

{pic}

Today I read Psalm 51:10-12...

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit in me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit away from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

I read the NIV Life Application Bible and it has awesome footnotes, the footnote for this passage said "God wants us to be close to him and to experience his full and complete life. But sin that remains unconfessed makes such intimacy impossible." 

I prayed to God about my pride, my doubts, blocking Him out. I have prayed forgiveness of these things before, and I keep asking for God to be able to feel His presence, but the thing is no matter how many times I asked it is hard to change my habits. I know they say it takes 21 days to change your habits... well I think today is day 1. Instead of turning on the TV right after my quiet time, I turned on some Christian music (yes I am still addicted to noise, but at least this send a positive message) and while listening to music I can do other things (like write this post) instead of wasting hours in a mindless TV show. I am not expecting a miracle overnight but I feel I have to start sometime. 

So what does this have to do with God being the Good Shepard? Well instead of listening to my thoughts "that I can handle this all..." or that "I got this..." I am going to try to find comfort in the knowledge that God is with me and leading me no matter what. I am going to try to put in practice more and more leaning on His hope. I am going to try to stop listening to my doubts and listen to my faith... and maybe one day I can stop saying "I am going to try" and it will actually be true. 

{pic}

Summer of Movies Part 1...

I feel this has been my summer of movies and once again I thank the lovely Boston Public Library for letting me watch these movies for free (very important on a student budget). Here are some more movies I have checked off my to watch list...

Here are the two I loved...
1. We Bought a Zoo...

The trailer really says the basic plot line Benjamin Mee (Matt Damon) is a writer always looking for an adventure until his wife dies and then the adventure becomes raising his kids. In looking to start over Benjamin goes on a house search only to find the perfect place to be a zoo. Here their new adventure begins with the help of Kelly Foster (Scarlett Johanson) and the others (both human and animals).

{pic}

Why I watched- It just looked like a cute feel good film, but then during a random time on Pinterest I saw this picture (right) and I thought that looks like a film with a great story.

What I liked- There is a little spark between the characters Benjamin and Kelly but it is not all sappy an mushy, and the whole story did not revolve around it. The more romantic plot line of the story revolved around the son Dylan and Lily, they were cute and awkward as it should be. I forgot it was based off a true story, so I was very happy to read as the credits were going that: "The Dartmoor Zoological Park, on which this story is based, is an award-winning zoo...".

What I didn't like- Some parts seemed a little over dramatic especially the part of Dylan, but hey he is a teenage boy who just lost his mom he is going to be a bit dramatic. I felt over all did not take away from the story line and it probably would not have felt real if it wasn't included.

Overall- Great feel good movie, good family movie. It is rated PG but the disc I got included a "English Family-Friendly Audio Track" so it can be for everyone.

2. The Music Never Stops

It is a moving story (have tissues) about a father Henry (J.K. Simmons you might recognize him from Juno) and his son, Gabriel, have not seen each other for about 20 years after they had a fight. Now Gabriel has a brain tumor and it is their love of music that brings them together again. Of course Henry loves the classics like Frank Sinatra and Gabriel loves The Beatles, Bob Dylan, and mostly the Grateful Dead, but Henry in order to bond with his son again listens to Gabriel's music and gets insight into his son's life.

Why I watched- I had never heard of this movie before until I watched The Conspirator and this was one of the previews (that's right I still watch previews), I instantly thought this film looked sweet so I wanted to watch it.

{pic}

What I liked- The whole movie. I thought J.K. Simmons played his role very well, he is 65 years old and stubborn, he believes the music his son loved brought about the end of their relationship, and he doesn't want to go back to that time. However, Diane Daley (Julia Ormond... I recognized her from Sabrina (1995)), the music therapist convinces him that Gabriel's music is the music that will help him. After that Henry goes in and trades in his albums for some of Gabriel's music and really starts to hear Gabriel's story. He even takes his son to a Grateful Dead concert.

Even though I am not of the Grateful Dead generation I still loved the soundtrack and maybe adding some of their music to my playlist.

What I didn't like- I can't think of anything. So over all I recommend it for any one who loves music (rather your Dead fan or not).

 This got a little long so I will post Part 2 on Thursdays.

Family Vacation

Hello lovely readers,

I am off for a long weekend at my aunt and uncle's house in Florida to be with my dad's family.



Some of us together... I am the blonde not looking at the camera.

Happy Father's Day!

Last year I did a mother's day post so this year I am doing a father's day post...

Song: The Words I would Say

By: Sidewalk Prophets

Link

I heard this song through some random search on Spotify a couple of months ago and loved it. At that time I was going through some hard emotional things and spent a night crying on the phone with my dad. God has truly blessed me in my relationship with my Dad and my Step-Dad, though they are far away... they love and support me. So this post is for them and all the dads in my life. I have other great examples in my friends, brother-in-law, and grandparents on strong and loving men. Thank you for being men to look up to.

my dad and I

my Granddad and I

My dad was always good at hanging us upside down... and we loved it. 

my granddad, my sister and I

my grandpa, my sister, and I 

 

my grandpa and I 

my grandpa visiting when we were living in California 

my step-dad and I on our cruise

my dad and I, just having fun

my dad and I dancing at my sister's wedding

my step-dad and I at my college graduation 

my brother-in-law as dad and my dad as Pops 

(yeah I cut my sister and I out of this pic)

Step-dad and I last Christmas decorating cookies

On vacation in May 

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!

I tried to put these pictures in chronological order oddly going through my computer/facebook I couldn't find any pictures from my middle school/high school years...maybe it is good not to have my awkward teen years documented. 

Thankful for

If you have been reading my "Dear Anne" letters you will know I have been in a kind of negative place. Well at the advice of my dear friend who I call my "Boston Mom" she reminds me of the things I am thankful for... So to share them with you I wanted to make a collage. I couldn't post all the pictures I wanted but this is a good reminder....

1. My family: They have always been supportive of me and it wasn't until I moved to Boston that I realized how much I need them. 

2. My friends: The random dance parties, our trips together, going to the movies, and being a shoulder to cry on.

3. My older sister: Who has always been looking out for me. 

4. My relationship with my dad: We weren't that close during my teen years but now I feel I can turn to him for everything.

5. My relationship with my mom: We have our ups and downs but I know she loves me and is always supporting my dreams wherever they can take me.

6. Being an aunt: I love being an aunt to my sister's kids and my best friend's baby. I have been told I will love my kids more than my niece and nephew but I love them so much and they have brighten up my life. 

7. Hope: No matter how dark things might get there is always hope. 

No fight left

No Fight Left

By: JJ Heller.

Dear Anne,

I am sorry it has been so long since I have written. I could easily blame Grad-School but considering I have had no motivation to do anything in school, I cannot really say that. The last couple of weeks I have felt my life going down hill. I even wrote you about how I was focusing on the good things in my life, I thought that letter would keep me up-beat. I am sad to say that it has not. I have even reached out to my "support team" (close family/friends) for them to pray for me and the response I have gotten has been so heart warming, I have felt truly loved but some how my heart an mind keep dwelling on the bad and I just see my life as a downward spiral (as much as I smile and pretend to be all right). I even questioned if I belonged to him since I kept having these times in my life where I was low and discouraged.


Well over the past couple of weeks my church has been going through the book of Jonah. He is mostly known for Jonah and the Whale but that is so little part of the story. When Jonah goes to Nineveh (the bad guys) and after little convincing they repent and our saved from destruction. The story goes further but I am going to stop right there. Both Jonah and the people of Nineveh had turned away from God and both were saved by God's never ending grace. At the end of the sermon my pastor said "there is nothing you can do to out run God's grace". As awesome as that statement is I will admit I didn't go right home and immediately go to God (as I should have done) but later Sunday night as I was brushing my teeth I read the verse taped near my mirror.

"Find rest O my soul in God; my hope alone comes from Him" (Psalm 62:5)

{pic}

And I thought, "how little do I consider God my hope." I have this verse written in multiple places and I never really consider God my Hope. I know God has saved me and I know God wants the best for me but how little do I actually think about God's hope and grace. Then as I was sitting and \
praying, I realized I keep underestimating God's grace. God's majestic saving and healing powers. 

I wrote that first part and then during my weekly phone date with my dad, I just couldn't hold back the tears anymore. He was just talking about how I was doing so well, I was climbing Mount Everest (in Grad-School) and I am at the last 10% and this is the hard part. I told him I didn't feel I was climbing Mount Everest I felt I was going a downward spiral to no where. I hate standing some days and I just want to hide and cry. 

I realize I am much like Jonah in the whale. I am going through a hard time and as easy as it would be for me to just retreat and sulking in my distress. I need to turn to God and  find my hope in him. Right now this is easier said than done.

Today I read Psalm 86 and it was exactly what I need to read. So while I am still in this low place, I need to remember God is with me. I just wish I felt Him more. 

I liked verse 5-7
{pic}

Sorry this letter is a bit scattered... it reflects my state of being right now. 

Thanks for reading.

Yours,

Blaire
P.S. Is it bad that I just want to spend the day eating chocolate and staying in my PJ's?

A little bit of my past

Hello lovely readers,

In my last post I talked about how I was going to talk more about my faith on this blog. I know I have already talked about my faith a little but I wanted to go back a bit in my story. I have not always  followed the Lord in my life but have had Christians always in my life and I have catch myself thinking about them "you must have it all together to be a Christian." I would say my dad and both my sisters are these super Christians in my life and I looked up to them as if they were perfect... well they aren't and neither am I.

I wanted to lay out a bit of my life story so no reader can accuse me of being "perfect" and "having it all together" when I don't. In this blog I am simply sharing my life and my faith is a HUGE part of that. So before you think I am standing on a soap box or hitting you over the head with a Bible, I wanted to share a pice of my story so hopefully you won't think I am doing those actions.


From my Baptism... May 20th 2007

When I was 5ish my parents got divorced. I know it is common for kids to think that "it is their fault", I never thought that. Looking back on it, I don't really remember a time they were together so it seems like a "natural" thing. Though I didn't think it was my fault through the divorce I got it into my head that I had to please everyone. I somehow thought that there was this bar of "perfection" that I could never measure up to. When I thought I was close to that bar, I would  discover that there was something else I had to do to make people happy. And if people weren't happy with me they wouldn't love me. This an aspect of my life I have lived with for nearly 21 years, while it is waining in strength, sometimes when I am low I still feel this bar above me. So for me it was very "natural" to think there were always conditions or hoops to jump through to earn love.

 

Skip ahead to my Junior year of High School. It was not a good time for me. I know I was stressed about my grades (I wasn't a stellar student) and I knew my grades that year were not good enough to get into a good college. I just remembering feeling as if I had failed. I know college wasn't the only thing that brought stress on me, I just like I had failed (I can't fully put it into words). For so long I had felt as if I was treading water keeping my head above float and all of the sudden I got tired of treading so I stopped and it felt as if I had drowned. Drowned to the bottom of the ocean and for awhile I walked around feeling no need to get up. I also felt no one around me could see how much pain I was in and I couldn't express because if I did they would know I had failed and then no one would love me.

 

Over this time I was taking over the counter sleeping medicine because I could never sleep at night. One night, I remember, I was emptying the dish washer and I thought about taking 5 or 6 pills that night and not waking up the next day. In reality I wanted my mom to come in try to wake me and when she realized I couldn't, she would rush me to the hospital, have my stomach pumped and then be fine. Also people would realize how much pain I was carrying around. Yeah not super logical but it is hard to be logical when you are sad. It is also hard to be logical when you are living inside your own head and not grasping on to reality.

 

I started going to therapy my senior year. I talked a lot about my emotions and how sick I felt but I still carried around shame and guilt over what I had thought and what I had almost done. I still sometimes think back at that time and think, if people knew that about me they wouldn't love me. I mean how can some one love somebody who thought about ending their life. Yeah also not super logical. That is probably the biggest bruise I carry around me and I still ask God to heal my heart from that.  

Boston in the fall..
the first time I came to Boston was in the fall
{pic}

During my Junior year I would stare out my classroom window and look out over the San Fransisco Bay and dream of running away. I thought I would just leave school take BART to Oakland get on a Amtrak train and see where life would lead. Well I found a nice legitimate way to run away, college. I had a large book that listed every college in the US and I looked into all of them on the East Coast from Boston to Virginia. But on my first trip to Boston I felt at home and I never wanted to leave. 

Over the summer, between Senior year and college, I went back to visit my dad and per usual went to High School church camp. I always went to camp mostly because all my friends went and this year was no different. But something happened to me at camp. I had 2 wonderful camp leaders who showed me how they weren't perfect and still were Christians. I began to ponder that thought. Then over the week I realized I had tried to do everything on my own and I had failed. I realized I couldn't do it on my own anymore. So after camp I asked my dad to help me find a church in Boston, I remember he was driving on the high way but I am not sure why. I am sure if he had not been driving he would have had a heart attack over this question.

 

I found Park Street Church and through that found one of my best friends. She didn't let me hide behind my wall of shame, she got right to the heart of my life. She also didn't allow me to be a wall flower and she "dragged" to different bible studies where I got to meet a lot of people. While I had this great friends sometimes I felt completely alone as a Christian so I clung to my Bible and read all of Psalm that first semester. Through my friend I found Reunion Christian Church, my home church, and have found a great community there.

 

People might ask me "how do I know God exist?" I will answer "because He saved me." I know that is a classic Sunday school answer but I know it to be true. I was in the pit and I wanted to end it all because everything I had done had made me fail. With God I have never felt like a failure, though I continue to stumble. I make mistakes, I will make mistakes. I continue to walk around with scars on my heart for all the things that have happened in my life but God knows those scars, He know the dark spots inside me, and yet he created me and He loves me with no condition and no hoops to jump through. That is what I cling to because sometimes it is the only thing that makes sense.

 

As I have finished this up I realize the title is a little miss-leading as it is actually a long post. So as a treat... here is one song I have really loved for a long time and still gives me goose bumps.

 

"How he loves" by David Crowder.



Summer plans

{Pic}

Hello lovely readers,

I am happy to say I am done with my semester in school. Now I have a month and a half off before Summer School starts. My dad has already asked me what I am doing with my time off.

1. The most practical answer work more hours at my job aka earn more money.

2. Read more fun more fun books. I am currently reading Catching Fire but I have a few other books I want to get through.

3. Write more. Rather it be this blog or my story The Sister of Pine Haven.  I have a few blog post in draft that I am working on and hope to get them published soon. 

4. Some family is visiting. My dad and step-mom are coming in May and my mom is coming in June before summer school starts. 

My dad and step mom:

From my college graduation 

My mom and I:

At the Biltmore Estate

5. My birthday party- I love celebrating my birthday, I love planning my birthday. I am in the works of arranging a party where my friends will hopefully donate money for my trip to Honduras.

(Yep I still need to raise funds so please let me know if you are interested).

6. Hang out with friends. 

Some of my friends
thanks... Mikhail Glabets Photography

7. Lastly I have to report for Jury duty. 

So those are my plans for my month and a half off. 

My Christmas letter

This is kind of long.

I love Christmas but sadly this year has not felt much like Christmas. First I will blame the weather. The weather here in Boston has been unusually warm (I mean like 40s to almost 50s) which is great because I don't have to bundle up but it is sad because it doesn't have the feeling of Christmas in the air. No Jack Frost nipping at the nose and no real reason to climb under the blankets and drink hot coco. It is kind of sad because come February I will be complaining about the cold weather but now I kind of long for it to get the Christmas feeling. Second I will blame grad school/ full time job. I haven't had much energy to decorate my apartment and prepare for Christmas. But I have to say my office looks very Christmasy which feels nice and as finishing up the semester I am listening to Christmas music. So I get some Christmas feelings. I just wish I felt Christmasy on the inside.

One thing I love about Christmas is getting Christmas cards and sending Christmas cards. But I don't think this year I will get my Christmas cards out on time before Christmas is here so I am going to type a long post instead as if was a traditional Christmas card letter. This will be fun reflecting on the year past...

For me personally I don't feel like much has happened in my life (well I feel that no big event in my life has changed it). Last January I started my first semester in grad school. I took two classes one in Reference Library and one in Slave History. I only took two classes as I worked a full time job in Membership Accounting. In January my little nephew Jayden came into this world on January 14th, 2011.

During that semester I went to my first Boston Celtics game. It took me back to all basketball games I used to go to with my mom and step-dad when we cheered on the Seattle Sonics. I am happy to report the Celtics won. But I felt I spent most of the semester studying. So I will skip ahead to the summer.

In May, my month off before summer school. I went down to Cape Cod. I had only been there once before with my dad and step-mom but it was in November and I am sad I don't remember much of it. But this was a nice trip. Tried to dip my toe in the water but it was far too cold to get in any further than my toe. Also during May I celebrated my 25th birthday in a three day event. My birthday was on Thursday and originally I had nothing planned because it was on a work day, but then my co-worker had tickets to the Red Sox game he wasn't able to go to. So I bought them from him and went to the game. Red Sox won it was a great way to celebrate. Then on Friday night some of my co-workers and I went out for drinks to celebrate my birthday. Also almost all my co-workers wore pink for my birthday and threw me a little party with my favorite things (harvest cheddar sun chips, Dr. Pepper, and German chocolate cake) I love my co-workers. Then on Saturday as a gift to myself I got my hair cut and treated myself to a pedicure. My hair cut was a big deal because I had been growing it out since August for my younger sister's wedding but then she told me I could cut it. And I did really short. Also on Saturday my friends went out for Karaoke. I wanted to do something I had never done before for this big birthday and loved it. My friends and I sung "Baby" by Justin Beiber, attempted to sing "Telephone" by Lady Gaga and we did one Spice Girls song. It was lots of fun. I wonder how I will top it for my 26th. For other post on my birthday click here.

My friend and I singing.

Next on my fast pace moving May was a trip down to Atlanta to see one of my best friends. We didn't do anything too touristy as I kind of wanted to see her life. I had never really been to Atlanta so it was lots of fun getting away from Boston for the Memorial Day holiday and just hang out. I loved Atlanta and if I was to move south of the Mason Dixon line I could see myself living there. It had its southern charm but where my friend lived it had a good indie vibe. I am not indie but I like to pretend to be sometimes. I am happy to say I will be going back there soon when I watch my friend become a Mrs.

Sadly in June my grandma, on my dad's side passed away. It is sad but it is also really great now she is up in heaven. We pulled out all her photo albums and filled up a ping pong table and 2 card tables with all the photo albums she had. We were able to go through them and take the pictures we wanted. I got a lot of pics from my childhood that I didn't even knew existed. For other post on my grandma click here.

Then I had to start summer school where I took Technology for the Information Professional. I learned about HTML, CSS, and other geeky things. But June was also a good month as I watched my younger sister get married.  Weddings are another time I love. It is great watching two people who are so in love with each other commit their lives together. I also loved when my sister told her husband that he will always be her number 2 in her life as God is her number 1. And I loved when her husband put on chap stick before kissing her (it was so him). For other post on my sister's wedding click here.



My cat hiding

Most of July was spent at work and at school. I was writing more on this blog, which was nice then by August I was a full out blogger. I was also getting ready for my move. I grabbed boxes from my job or if I saw them sitting on the street. My cat was starting too get worried so she started hiding in the boxes.

I also attended another friend's wedding in August in upstate New York. I must say I like going to weddings where I am not busy doing other things so I can just kick off my shoes and just dance the night away. I did dance the night away and it was lots of fun. For other post on that wedding click here. (I love having this blog to sort of remind me what I did through out my year).



My cat blocking my reading

Then September 1st I moved. The move all went very well even with Hurricane Irene hitting the weekend before. I had some really good friends that came over in the storm and helped me pack. I spent labor day weekend unpacking and getting everything ready before school started this semester. This semester I am taking an Introduction to Cataloging and Historical Methods and still working my job. Next semester I will be going in as a full time student where I will be taking my last two core requirement Library Science classes (Evaluation and Management) and I will be taking my first Archiving class in which I will have an internship to do. It is not set up yet but I am really looking forward to being a full time student.

I am getting ahead of myself... back to this semester. I have tried to be better at juggling work and school but still remembering to take care of myself by taking naps even if they are for 20 minutes, hanging out with my friends even if all we do is crash on the couch and watch a movie. The big news of this semester is that my really close friends (practically family) had their little baby girl Brianna on Oct. 20th. I was so happy when I saw the first picture of her I began to cry. Then when I got to hold her I was over joyed. (If you haven't figured it our I love babies).

Some other big happenings in my life is if you have been following this blog you might have seen some changes in my life. In October I was kind of going through an identity crisis (more of a purpose crisis). I was wondering what I was suppose to be doing with my life. I have always wanted to be a wife and a mother and that felt so far away from me. That I honestly didn't know what to do. Of course this has a long back story of being upset at God. But some where in between my A Page from my Diary (Sept 28) to my Thought for Thursday (Oct. 20th) and even now my life has really changed. I still don't know what I am suppose to be doing but I lean a lot more on God to remind me to live in the moment and He has a beautiful future for me. I am also reminded on a constant basis that I have been blessed so much that I need not worry about the future for it too will be blessed. I am also letting go of my past (mostly my mistakes) so I can move on to a bright future.

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas. I hope even with all the stress comes from this Christmas time that you are able to remember the real reason for the season. It is not about presents, decorations and parities. It is about getting together with loved ones (friends and family) and celebrating the greatest gift of all when God gave us his son to live and then die for our sins. I was just told about this article from the Huffington Post on the Real War on Christmas a good little reminder.

Linus explaining what Christmas is all about.

I was talking to a married couple in my bible study and the wife was telling me she was worried about her kids having a good Christmas. She wasn't worried about the gifts necessarily she just wanted he kids to have a great Christmas. It reminded me why I love Christmas so much. I can't tell you everything I have gotten. But the memories that stick out to me was spending the night at my Mema and Grangran's house waking up on Christmas morning with all my family there. Then after eating a huge meal my mema would ask if any of us wanted dessert but we were too stuffed to say anything. Then when I got older I remember two years I made my dad cry (good cry) over the gifts I gave him. One year it was picture of me sitting on his lap resting my head on his shoulder the other year was I wrote him a poem about how I needed him. Other Christmas memories are my uncles fighting over Oklahoma State and Oklahoma University football and my mema who was as mild as a mouse usually but when we played chicken foot she was the most competitive woman. None of these memories cost much money and have little to do with the gifts it is more about the time we have had together.

Now the one thing I am looking forward to is getting home and when I land I know my dad will be there and he will give me one of his big hugs all of which will tell me I am home and loved. (I guess I am getting a little homesick in eager anticipation for Christmas).

So there is my Christmas, year in review, letter. I hope you enjoyed.

-Blaire