Julia Danford

Emmy loved her cousin Julia Danford. She was the type of cousin any girl would want to have she was the kind of cousin that every girl wanted. She was a year older so she had more worldly experience then Emmy but still loved to escape into the woods and play fantasy. Emmy held these times as her most dear because here she could be herself with out being criticized by her sister or being laughed at her mother for being too young. When Emmy heard Julia was coming back she got together their adventure kit they put together.

At the moment Julia Danford was sitting in the bay window of the front parlor looking down Commonwealth waiting anxiously for Howard Staurt’s new automobile to be in sight. She had waited two days for this sight ever since he wrote promising he was coming into town. Her mother saw the anxious look her carried and noticed the way her daughter was paying no mind to her needle work. And Victoria Danford noticed more and more that since Julia turned seventeen and her debutante ball that had no mind for anything but suitors.

Victoria remembered what it was like to be a young girl and she had suitors but none would do once she met Charles Danford. They were the talk of all Boston being a very handsome couple both in looks and in

prosperity. Victoria looking at her daughter saw much the beauty of herself in Julia and hoped that Julia would on day find the love of her life.

“Julia, why don’t you go for a walk?It is one of the best days we have had all season, some fresh air will do you good.”

“No thank you,” she said dismissing her mother but not really hearing a word she said.

“A man should not for you to being cooped up all day. Show him that you have a life besides him.”

“But Howard told me he would come. He promised me.”

“I know dear.”

“If father wasn’t taking us all to the country for the season I could spend as much time as I liked with Howard Staurt or his brother.”

“His brother?” Victoria asked but Julia hardly heard her.

In Julia’s mind both of the Staurt boys were equally handsome and rich and both would be suitable for

her. Julia looked at herself and know she wouldn’t be any more beautiful than she was right then and she used it to her advantage and took to any caller. All of them gave her some excitement to be admired by a mam. She knew one day she would get married and settled down but for now she saw living freely as completely delightful.

Her mother knowing these thoughts found it good to take her daughter away into the country for the summer. The summer would be crazy season and Victoria felt that if Julia spent the summer in Boston that her reputation would be ruined as an outrageous flirt before she even had the chance to establish herself in good society. A good family name could only carry her so far she thought and worried that no proper man would want Julia if she was known for changing men as often as she changed a dress. Victoria grew up in a society where a woman’s modesty was sought after. A suitor would never come to her home unless they had intentions she only had one suitor before she met the love of her life in Charles Danford. The world had seemed completely to Victoria now with daughter going through one or two suitors a month. To Victoria this seemed no way for her to meet a sensible man who came with the purest intentions. Any man of such standings would think Julia was easily charmed and would be scared to approach her. Victoria had strongly wished they had put off Julia’s presentation into society another year and in that time she would be given proper training in courting behaviors. Victoria had been sent to a school the year before her presentation and when she came out every one agreed that her temper was as sweet as her looks. But Charles blinded by Julia’s sweet smile gave into her wishes.

“Of course Charles didn’t have to deal with the preparations it took to present a daughter and what it meant to have a girl out in society,” Victoria thought “Charles just had to get Nick fitted into a few suits and a tuxedo.”

Now Julia needed ball gowns and she couldn’t be expected to wear the same gown twice. She also need tea dresses for all the functions society now demanded she attend. It also meant Victoria’s social schedule would be dictated by Julia’s outings. Julia always had to have an escort. But the worst part for Victoria was seeing Julia’s behavior to young men. A few days ago her son Nick had called Julia free spirited, if that was free spirited Victoria thought a spirit should be more locked up.

“All Charles had to deal with was signing a check for his daughter’s latest purchases which was followed by glass of scotch and a slight headache,” Victoria thought as she watched Julia stare out the window.

“I don’t understand you,” Charles said a about a week ago “You want Julia to meet a nice man and you

want to take her away to the country.”

“I want her to meet type of man,” Victoria said the husband. “If Julia stays in the city for the season I feel she will ruin herself in society eyes.”

“And what will Pine Haven do? The best society they have is the Melbournes hardly anyone I would allow to court my daughter.”

“I am not looking to match her up. Perhaps delay the process. She is only seventeen years old and I see her losing herself to finding a suitor. Its been weeks since she painted anything and she loves to paint. And all she talks about are boys, she can gossip about them for hours with the her lonely friends.”

“Her friends come from the best families in Boston as you designed.”

“Well they have all changed now that they are in society. Its the oddest thing. But perhaps,” Victoria’s tone changed into a tone Charles knew very well, it was a tone told him Victoria had something up her sleeve. “If Nick comes with us and brings a nice suitable match for Julia and alone in the country they happen to hit it off.”

Charles didn’t pay much attention to his children but knew well enough that Nick had earned quite a reputation for being a man about town. And knew that Nick’s friends were unlikely to be suitable to Julia as they were the same. He brought up this up to Victoria but she dismissed it.

“What about that Foster boy. He would be all right. He has proved himself to be a fine gentleman and he is making his way steadfast through your firm.”

“Indeed but I think our Julia would find him a complete dull.”

“In the country that might change. After all like you said there will be no one around.”

“Doubtful, but we will go and I will invite Ethan Foster tomorrow. But darling I think the only thing Julia will do is moan for society here.”

While Julia initially threw a fit that they were going away, Victoria still hoped a summer away would bring a change in her daughter’s mindset. Now seeing Julia waste her time pining for a man she hardly cared for made her think she had decided wisely.

Eventually Howard did come and Julia was overjoyed. She carried on all evening about his automobile and how she wished she would be staying in Boston so she could take long sunset drives around the city and show it off with him. But her father hardly noticed her ravings and her mother didn’t budge her opinion.

“Oh mother what am I suppose to do all summer knit with Laurel while she goes on for hours about women’s rights and that Cady Stanton woman. Or play those childish games with Emmy who spends most her time imagining adventures that never happen.”

“You used to be joined at the hip with Emmy. You guys had your own little club on top of that rock.”

“Times change. She is a child.”

“She is a year younger. Things do change she might be different.”

“She hasn’t changed. She writes me the stories she makes up and when I share them with my friends they got such a laugh.”

“That is harsh Julia.”

“That is the world we live in. The society you want Nick and I to live in.”

Victoria was happy Charles was not in the room to hear Julia’s harsh words. For it hurt her heart to know that her daughter spoke so cruelly.

A Dream is a Wish your Heart Makes

The title comes from one of my favorite Disney cartoons Cinderella but this little free write comes from my office's quote of the week.

Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.
-Leon J. Suenes.

When I read this I thought...What are my dreams?
The dream I am pursing right now is getting my Masters in Library Science and Masters in History. I guess physically the government is paying for it but I will be paying them back soon. But I guess in some ways I am paying for it. At least my body and brain are. Summer class hasn’t been so bad but spring was hard taking two classes and working full time come May I was wiped out. I was tired, I was mentally exhausted and I was always on the brink of tears (because of mental exhaustion). I guess that’s part of the price you pay.

Another dream I am living out is living in Boston. It has become my life but I remember when it was my dream. When I was younger I wanted to be a writer, I still do, but I thought working for movies. I was thinking about the dress I would wear when I hit the red carpet for my night at the Oscars. So I dreamed of going to UCLA or UCSB (University of California in Santa Barbra). I told then I would move to New York. Well my mom gave me some good advice “if you want to live on the east coast you should look at east coast schools”(okay that might be paraphrasing). So I did look at east coast schools. I begged my mom to buy Baron’s Profile of American Colleges and we can begin scouring colleges every where from Boston to Virginia. I thought about schools in New York but the city seemed too big too scary. Then my mom came to Boston during the 2004 play offs against the Yankees, I am not sure if was the excitement that filled the air because of that or what but I fell in love with the city. I looked at a few schools in Connecticut but Boston had captured my heart. So I applied to Simmons and Suffolk in Boston and my mom made me apply to Quinnipiac in Connecticut just in case but I wanted Simmons first and Suffolk second. I got into Suffolk (however I am going to Simmons now for grad school) and loved the idea of moving to the city, during my second visit to Boston I told my mom I was going to tie my self to a park bench so I wouldn’t have to leave. And in March I started a count down till I moved to Boston. I even wrote a persuasive speech to convince the students in my English class to move to Boston and for months it was all I talked about. So it was a big dream of mine to move to Boston and I have loved it for the most part. But I guess I pay for it, when I am lonely and miss my family. I pay for it because I don’t get to see my niece and nephew grow up as much I would like and there are moments I pay for it when I wish I could still climb into my mom or dad’s lap and cry on their shoulders. I cry over the phone but its not the same. But I guess those are just facts of life and I have to remember sometimes the dream of living here are worth the loses.

Okay that took a sad turn, I didn’t mean for this free write to be sad.

On the up side there are still dreams I still have yet to accomplish. I have two really big dreams one to become an author but I know I would not feel my life wasn’t complete if I wasn’t a wife and a mother. As a single girl I love thinking about being the stay at home wife who has dinner on the table when her husband comes home and I also like watching my married friends and learning from them what it is to be a good wife. There is a really funny quote from Gilmore Girls where Emily, the grandmother, describes her life as a canoe she is rowing a long and so his her husband and through each doing their own job they are making life work out. If you know the show this quote seems completely out of place for the character Emily but I like the idea of being a canoe. Right now I am more what Emily would describe a kayak. I know there are deeper things to describe how a marriage should be than a canoe but I like the image a lot. In that I also dream of being a mom. It might be a miss quote but in the movie The Perfect Score, Scarlett Johansson character describes the type of mom she wants to be one who doesn’t care about the title on her business card but being an actual mom (okay random quotes stick in my head). I see that as a way I would want to be and I love the real life examples I get from my sister, and the moms at my church I have gotten to know. That’s my biggest dream to be a wife and a mother and while I am still enjoying my single life it is something I look forward to and pray about.

I guess the next dream I have is to be an author. Which is why I started this blog, to keep me motivated about writing. I have written stories ever since I was little. The first journal I remember having my best friend in elementary school gave me, it was peach colored with a precious moments doll on the cover. The only problem is though I dream about stories I have yet to finish one. I also have a big problem with showing people my work. I am not a good speller and punctuation is not my strong point I am known for my run on sentences. And until this blog, though I would read my stories to my mom, I didn’t like people reading them. I am sure my younger sister does not remember this but one time we were at my brother’s soccer game and I let her read a story of mine and all she did was point out my spelling errors since then I didn’t like people reading my stories. I know when most people do things creatively they pour themselves into it and they expose themselves to vulnerable. I don’t like being vulnerable but if I want to be published I guess I will have to face people not liking my work.

More thoughts from A Hopeful Romantic

“Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.”

I like this quote from the movie Juno and as a single woman I guess that’s still what I am looking for. I am looking for some one who will love me no matter what. I like the way Carrie Bradshaw said it in Sex and the City show “I'm someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient,consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love.”

But lately I have wondered if my pursuit of love is actually wise. I have fallen into a pit many times I meet a guy we talk and I find out he is a christian and he is cute and I start to imagine myself in a relationship with him. I say “its just hard being single.” I am sure many single christian girls can relate, we see people in relationships and it just seems great and we want that. We want to be in a relationship and we want to get married. I also know as a girl we are told to let the guy pursue us so why we wait for the guy to pursue us we read christian dating book, articles on line, pray that the Lord will bring a guy in our lives, and probably the thing we do most is we talk to our girl friends not understanding why are still single. I am not writing that I have an answer I just know it has to be on God’s timing. And while God’s timing is perfect we often hate waiting for it. Then we get handed article that make it seem like if we did these 5 things we will get married and as my much wiser friend (who is married) is reminding me its not a formula its not A+B+C=husband. While that would be nice I know it doesn’t work that way. So I don’t have an answer to the “why I am still single?” question. If I did I would write a book and become a millionaire.

The only thing I can say is from experience and what my wiser friends have taught me. 1) Pray for your future husband, I like to write my prayers out and one day I can’t wait to show him all the prayers I prayed for him. 2) Don’t look at a Christian guy as a potential mate look at him as a brother in Christ (having this mind set as really helped me have long friendship with guys I look to as a brother). 3) Don’t make your pursuit of a relationship above all else. This is the reason I write this article. I am the first to admit it I watch sappy romance movies and read novels with a romantic plot line from Jane Austen to Jennifer Donnelly and Lori Wick ( I won’t say romance novels because that makes me think of novels in the grocery store that have men showing their chest and half naked women...these I won’t read). I have read the books“I kissed dating goodbye,” and “Boy meets girl” (both spoke to me in the time) I have also read “Captivating” and “Boundaries in Dating.” So I feel well read on both the secular and Christian side of dating. But that’s not the point. I am just saying with all that reading and watching that I would be ready for love. But deep down if I think about it I am not (no matter how badly I want to be). I am not ready because I put that pursuit as a first priority in my life. I mean I go to work and school, I am not just spending all day at a singles bar looking for a mate but mentally I do (even in writing this). I some times feel if I was in a relationship I would feel complete and that’s ridiculous. Mostly because any one who I date would be flawed and how can I expect a flawed person complete me, the only one who can complete me is the one who is un-flawed. And there is only one who fits that description. And right now I need to focus on following His will and doing what he says. And one day if He wants to He will bring a man into my life. I look forward to that day. But I first I need to put my completion in what He says and how He thinks and not in an idea of a relationship. So my advice to other single girls while you might feel your life will be complete as soon as you get a ring on your finger it won’t and it has taken me a while to admit that to myself. And even harder for me to live in that mindset. But I keep praying every time I feel I am close to that pit fall.

I am not even sure I am right in my thinking or how things will turn out. I will keep you posted.

So while I am still a very hopeful romantic I am in the waiting phase of life and while I wait I am going to try to do “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need” (Matthew 6:33 NLT). And in this I will hand over my love life to the Lord and know he will guide me in the ways he want me to live. I will rest in these verses...

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope...” Jer. 29:11.

I am not writing as if I have the answers, I don’t I just have a clue into how my life should be.

More personal blogs from me From a Hopeful Romantic and A Casual Gaze .

An Afternoon Tea (Part 2)...A little long

Read An Afternoon Tea (Part 1) first

en and his mother were id some one who saw all the burdens she carried trying to care for her family her heart. Maybe John Melbourne could be this guy.
“Mother, where is Emmy?”


“I suspect where she always is on days this nice down by the creek.”


“Mother how can you let her run wild so.”


“I really didn’t let her. She snuck out before I woke up.”


“But she is going to show up probably soaked her dress all messed up and her hair a shambled.”

“What would that matter?” Fiona asked her daughter who was fidgeting.

“Do you know how bad it would look to have Emmy tramping in here covered in mud or other things.”

“I am sure John Melbourne will never ever notice when you are looking so pretty today.”


“But I can’t have them thinking we are indigenous people.”

Fiona laughed at the thought, “show them the six parlors or the library or the manicured gardens, I am sure no one thinks us as indigenous.”


“This isn’t funny.”

“I know Laurel,” Fiona patted Laurel’s hand. It was a pat that told her everything was going to be okay.


“Mother, how can you be so calm, the Melbournes are upon us and it is so important that we all make a good impression .”

“My darling you have been classically trained to make good impression.”


“What does that mean?”

“Just that I can’t ever imagine you make a bad impression you are so mindful of everything,
every one and all the rules of society.”

“I hope you mean that as a compliment,” Laurel a little befuddled by what Fiona had said.


“I do, I do of course I do,” Fiona couldn’t believe that her daughter would take it any other way.

“You are so good Laurel.”

“Thank you, I just hope I am good enough.”

“Good enough? Good enough for what?”

Then Laurel thought about what she had said and quickly knew how ever she answered it would take too much to explain. But what she thought was good enough for an advantageous marriage or really any marriage.

“Oh never mind,” she said rearranged the tea set moving the sugar bowl towards where Mrs. Melbourne would sit knowing how she liked her tea sweeter than most.
“It will be fine,” Fiona said as she watched her daughter and fidget and adjust her dress yet again.

She felt certain then that Lauren did like Mr. John Melbourne. She remembered all the time she knew she was going to see Jefferson that would fidget and arrange herself a lot. She felt every girl must do this to make themselves perfect in front of the boys they swooned over. So she took Laurel’s fidgeting as a good sign.


“Mrs. Melbourne and her son Mr. John Melbourne are here,” Thomas announced.


“Thank you Thomas,” Fiona said “Bring them in.” Then turned to Laurel “ Now dear I know you want to look your best so you must stop fidgeting.”

“Yes mother.”


“And whatever happens do not worry I am sure John Melbourne can see your beautiful perfection.”

“Dear Mrs. Melbourne we are so pleased to have you here,” Fiona said when her guest
came in.


“No, no we are pleased to be invited. Your mother’s home is always a sight to be held. Does Mrs. Danford join us?”


“I am afraid her health is too ill.”

“That must be a real heart ache and burden. I am sure with such a beauty as Laurel you would want to take her into town and show her off to the big cities like Boston, New York, or even Philadelphia. But I must say I am sure our local boys are pleased you have not take her a way,” 
Mrs. Melbourne said with a wink to her son and a chuckle to the rest.

Laurel noticed John rolling his eyes and the slightly annoyed look. But she tried not to let it affect her. It was also the first time Laurel noticed John pudgy cheeks and old fashioned side burns. But Laurel would not let those qualities turn her away from him. He would be a good provider, she could never see him raising his voice, and he could spare some money so she could take care of her sisters. These qualities had to be more important Laurel thought.

“And where are your younger daughters they are both such a delight.”


“Emmy enjoys taking long walks on days so fine as this but she should be a long shortly. She would be disappointed to miss your company.”

“Oh to have such youth. If I was Miss Emmy’s age I would probably be climbing as many rocks and hills as possible. But I feel I am not destined to use this blasted cane to even walk around my house.”


Laurel could hardly imagine Mrs. Melbourne climbing rocks. To her Mrs. Melbourne was
always sixty and always a high class woman who wouldn’t dare have her petticoats touch dirt.

While Laurel tried to imagine this Fiona was telling Mrs. Melbourne that Gloria was still in school and while it was Tuesday she will have piano lessons till almost five. Then Mrs. Melbourne asked if Gloria was as good at the instrument as Fiona was and it was these word that pulled Laurel out of climbing on rocks.


“Perhaps she will be, she has good ear much like Laurel and diligence in practice.”

“Oh my goodness I completely forgot that Laurel played,” she turned to Laurel. “Before we leave you must play I insist. A young girl always looks more beautiful behind an instrument. Don’t you think John?”


“I don’t know,” John said closing his pocket watch.

“Oh John, you lie you were just telling me yesterday about how you liked to watch people play.”

Laurel could tell Mr. John Melbourne had no interest in this tea. They sat through another twenty minutes of Fiona’s and Mrs. Melbourne’s small talk all while not saying anything to each other and Mrs. Melbourne trying to get John to smile or blush. But John paid no interest to Laurel or any body. It had all been a mistake, Laurel had thought since they had together at the Carmichael's party he had some interest in her but now replaying the whole scene she saw it for how it really was.


Laurel had been arm and arm with her friend Amelia who none would agree Laurel was the beauty of the two some but Amelia definitely had a way of charming the gentlemen. She had charmed one in particular Robert Engels who wanted to dance with Amelia but Amelia being a good friend would not dance with anyone if Laurel did not dance.

“Come on Melbourne, Laurel is beautiful,” Robert Engels said.

“With no prospect how can you expect me to spend any time with her.”

“Just one dance, I need to hold Amelia.”


“That is not a need, honestly Robert what has gotten into you.”

“You are a stodgy old man. Once dance is not a marriage proposal.”

“To us its not, to girls you dance with them once and they start planning their wedding.”

“I doubt it. Laurel Cromwell is far too conventional to have any romantic ideals,” Robert Engels put on pathetic eyes.


“All right,” John said with a huff and taking a swig of his brandy.

“You could try a little harder to have some fun.”

Now Laurel sitting in the parlor that afternoon could tell the mistake she had made and everything she had built up in her head. No man had really given any attention to her and she had almost lost all her common sense when a man danced one dance with her. It was ridiculous she thought, and now wished that the whole thing had never happened. She tried to quickly think of a way for the Melbourne’s to leave quickly but polite society would never allow a host to shoo a way her guest not unless some medical emergency had arisen. Maybe she could pass out, Miss Pembers had pulled her corset a little too tight this morning. Maybe in Emmy’s foolish ways of going out exploring she would trip and sprain her ankle. At least then she could be excused to check up on Emmy. But none of that happened and soon Emmy was in the parlor with them. Miss Pembers had made sure no one saw Emmy before her shoes were on and her hair had been pulled up in a some what modest way so she wasn’t an embarrassment.

“Why Miss Emmy, you look prettier every day, that fresh air must do you some good,” Mrs. Melbourne said.

No one ever compliments Emmy’s looks and she knew it would be polite to be humble and blush as Laurel would do she gushed with thanks.
“Earlier we were talking about Laurel playing the piano, do you play Miss Emmy?” Mrs. Melbourne asked.

“Hardly?” Emmy said with a snicker.

“She is not as good as Laurel but mother insist all the girls learn the piano,” Fiona said
quickly to cover Emmy’s snicker.

“I guess your talents are better off at story telling. Do you have any new stories?”

“Just some ideas for now, nature is so inspiring,” Emmy excitedly.


“I quite agree,” Mrs. Melbourne said.

Laurel and Emmy hardly had the same thought at the same time but just then they were both thinking that they couldn't see Mrs. Melbourne as finding nature inspiring.

Eventually the party broke up Mrs. Melbourne promised to hose them to tea one day and wished that Mrs. Danford will feel better soon. Laurel tried to pretend that another tea would be wonderful but saw no acting coming from John Melbourne, just another look at his pocket watch.

"I do not know what is to become of us?" Laurel said when the Melbournes were in their new automobile and half way down the drive. "I could see now Mr. John Melbourne had not attention for me or any other girl for that matter. He is far too consumed with the workings of that pocket watch."



Emmy wanted to shout out "here, here."



"It is one tea, my dear things will go better as time goes on. Not every man has to be a suitor."



"If stodgy Mr. John Melbourne is not interested in me who will be?"



"Patience dear," Fiona patted her had but Laurel was too upset and stormed back into the house.

Soon Emmy and her mother could hear Laurel playing the piano, a good source of diversion for her.



"Surely Laurel did not seek a lover out of Mr. John Melbourne?"



"Emmy, that is no way for a lady to talk."



"But Melbourne is even more rigid than Laurel. He probably doesn't even know what romance is or have any idea on how to court a lady properly. He would probably treat any horse in his stable better than his wife. Surely that can not be for Laurel."



"You forget Emmy, Laurel doesn't care about romance like you she is much more logical and sadly she placed a large burden on herself. I fear she will lose her heart to any man who is able to remove that burden."



"What burden?"



"Us," Fiona said in a sad tone." As much as I wish she were Laurel is not blind to our situation in life and she has taken it it upon herself to fix it. Unfortunately a girl of mild breeding can only look towards marriage to improve her families condition."



"Poor Laurel," Emmy sighed seeing a more truer look at her sister than she had ever seen.



"She will have a true sacrifice," Fiona thought but did not say as she did not want to burden her younger daughter with the same load that Laurel carried.



Even if she had Emmy was already lost in a day dream and probably could not hear Fiona at all."One to give up true love for the great good is what heroes and heroines are made of. Perhaps she will be lucky to find both true love and a man with a deep pocket book." Her mother laughed at Emmy's simplistic ideals "and if not I will publish my stories and live off my pen."



"Oh Emmy I do love your dreams."



Fortunately by the end of the week no one mentioned the name Melbourne expect for the polite thank you note that was delivered the next day but no follow up invitation was made. Also by the end of the week Fiona's brother Charles wrote announcing he and his family's plans to visit before the month was out and he thought his family would probably stay the entire summer. Fiona knew having family come would brighten Laurel's day and would keep the house hold busy preparing for their visit.