Monday, March 19, 2012

Building barns

{Pic}
On Wednesday night my bible study and I discussed the verses Luke 12:13-21 it is called the "Parable of the Rich Fool" and in the story the "rich man" has so many crops can't store them all so he decides to tear down his barnes and build new ones. God then calls him out and says "you fool tonight your life will be demanded from you, then who will inherit this." While it is good to work hard, this man seems to only thinks about himself and how he is going to benefit from his work. Growing up in the church I have heard this story a lot. One time I heard a pastor say that if this man had been connected with his community he would have given his extra crop to the poor and would not have stored it up. And while these moral stories are good sometimes they are hard to sink in and after hearing the story a lot it is even harder for the story to make an impact. But then my friend said something to the group... he said "in our own way we all build barnes, we all think, oh if I could just get married, or if I could just have a kid, or if I could just __(fill in the blank)_then it will be just righ" but will it be just right? And how long do we have to we keep striving for "just right"; one day God will call us home and then we won't have time to do all the the things we should have done or we won't have time to do what is most important to us and the world. Sorry not trying to be a Debby Downer.

I just know I fall into the trap of thinking "when I get married or when I have kids my life is going to be all set." I remember with my only serious boyfriend that once we got married everything would be fine, I saw marriage as a finish line, not a start line. Any one who is married knows that. So I will admit foolishly I have been building up my barnes waiting for the day when I become a wife and mother. I enjoy being single, doing whatever I want (within reason) being on my own time schedule and not to sound bad but being a little selfish. But their are times I spend  a lot of time and energy waiting for "my dream" to come true. And sadly I think I sometimes miss out on the great time I am in.

I can't do everything I want to do right now because I am kind of stuck in grad school for the next two years. So maybe right now all I can do is build some potential barnes as I wait for the "real world" but I shouldn't pass up on opprotunities that I can take advantage of. For example this summer I am hoping to go down to Honduras and dig wells with living water. But after grad school I would actually love to take some time work on staff with Living Water, so I can go to Africa or India  with them. But after my trip to Denver, I kind of want to move there so I can be closer to my sister and her growing family. (I am of course still praying about these things).

Basically, we only get one life and we can't waste time waitng for things to be just right.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

The Vow

{pic}
When I was in Denver my sister and I spent some girl time together and we went to see The Vow. The commercial basically lays it out girl and guy are happily married then they get in car accident and she has no memory of him. Then he must make her fall in love with him again. With out giving anything away it was cool to watch knowing this is based on a true story.

Okay if you have not seen it and want to, STOP reading now because this might have some spoiler alerts.
{Pic}
So the plot of the movie starts off with showing 15 minutes of their love story, how they met, and their wedding. As you might have guessed based on the title, their vows are really sweet and made me have an awh moment. Then we see the car accident she gets pushed through the glass of the front window ( I will always wear my seatbelt when I am in a car). Her body has too much trauma to it so they purposefully keep her in a coma so her body can heal. Then she wakes up and thinks her husband, Leo, played by Channing Tatum, is her doctor. We then find out she has lost all memory of her life leading up to them dating, so she doesn't remember that she has left her parents house, that she has left law school and that her ex-finace and her have broken up. Her parents come and try to take them home with her, she is very confused why Leo has never met her family (it all gets explained later) but at this momement Paige, Rachel McAdams, thinks her family is a happy family. And while she intially wants to go home with her parents she does go back to her old place with Leo, in order to have some kind of normalcy.

I can not imagine how hard it would be to wake up and have lost years of your memory so maybe I can't criticize but I was surprised how little the Paige character tried to learn what was her life before the accident. She seemed more than eager to go back to her parents and back to her ex-finance. I was talking this with my co-worker and she brought up a good point imaging you woke up having feelings for one person but you married to a complete stranger and trying to adjust to the total strangeness of it all. But Leo is so sweet in pursuing her even though it is hard on both of them. But I wish Paige had tried too, instead of flirting with her ex.
{pic}
Big spoiler alert: So if you are still reading and haven't seen the movie seriously Stop!

The one thing I was most surprised about was they got divorced. It kind of hurt to see after Leo had so faithfully stuck by her that he let her go so easily. I can't imagine for the real Leo that this was easy but the film made it seem like he was letting her off the hook and no longer fighting with her. I talked to my sister about this, we are both big believers that marriage  is to last a life time, but I wondered what I would do in this situation and how God would view this divorce. She told me "God does not like divorce" in my head I was thinking "yeah, but" then she said "for Leo, he promised through good and bad times and this was a really bad time that he would perserve through." "But what about Paige?" I asked "she doesn't remember getting married." Marriage is to last a life time, and she should have to try to live to the vows she made.

But even though they got divorced I am glad their lives paths came back together even though she did not get her memory back, they were able to get new memories. I am also glad Paige and her parents were able to get reconnected.
{pic}
A bit of the true story

Happy St. Patty's Day

{Pic}

I sadly have to work today, but I am wearing green in celebration. Then I think I should have a wild night of homework. I know do not be jealous of me. But it is the grad-student life.
{Pic}
Hope you all have fun and a little bit of a wild night.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

We all have a writing story

Hello lovely readers,


I am happy to announce my second guest blogger. YEAH! Please welcome Kimberly from Here's What I think About ThatShe has an opinion on just about everything and is happy to share them with anyone that will listen (or read). 

{Pic}
I have so enjoyed this Blaire's blog. I’m so delighted to be a guest. As I thought about what I wanted to write, the thing that kept coming to me was I wanted to talk about writing. Specifically my writing story.

I used to journal writing intermittently in my adolescence.  I struggled with being “real” in my personal writing. I really wanted to avoid the angst filled teenage diary.  Not sure what that was about. Perhaps I was self censoring because of the thought that one day my diary would be discovered.
{Pic}

Also, there was a period of time that was so deeply sad that to write about it felt like a betrayal. And to write about anything else felt like a different betrayal.   –You know in sitcoms when a girlfriend tells the boyfriend something sad (like a couple their friends broke up). The girlfriend is clearly upset and wants to commiserate.  The boyfriend? Not so much. He’s like, are you gonna finish your pie? And she’s like: how can you think about food at a time like this?  It was like that.

Many years ago, I went to see Anne Lamott speak about writing. [Side note: If you get the chance to see her speak, take it! ] I fell in love with her when I read “Operating Instructions” a story about the first year of her son’s life. I absolutely loved this book. It captured the sweetness and the raw emotions that are mothering. Anyway...I remember her saying that we should do two things in life:  1) Always eat dessert.  (Because life is short). And 2) write as though your family is already dead. –That seems a little harsh. I really wanted to paraphrase that to say “family will never read this”, but she really said “dead”. I suppose the writing would be different if you wrote as if they were dead. To be honest, I have not been able to do that. I can’t.  –So okay, although I’m a writer, I’m not an Anne Lamott writer.

Natalie Goldberg, in "Writing Down the Bones" says, “Go for the jugular”. Write about the thing that hurts.  And go all the way. Eeek. I don’t like this advice either.

So,  I SAY, “Write what you want to write”. And, if you don’t want to write about sad things...don’t. If you do want to write about sad things...do.

Many “how to write” writers say “if you can talk, you can write”. Everyone has the right to create. There are no special skills and no secret society that decides if you are worthy to be a writer. If you want to write and you write, then you are a writer.

My day job (career) is not writing but writing has helped me in everything I do. Writing has helped me formulate my ideas and be able to articulate them to others. {I write out my thoughts before a meeting so that I feel prepared.  –I don’t have to take the notes into the meeting...it is the writing that makes me confident that I understand the issues and can present my thoughts.}

Away from work, I always wrote letters (epic)! I wrote Newsletters: (Christmas Newsletters, Church News Letters, Book Club Newsletters). If I was participating in something I was always happy to be the scribe.

Then one day, someone asked me point blank: “Are you a writer”. Wow! That question was a turning point. Was I going to go public with it? “Yes”, I said, “yes I am”.

Since then I began to take my writing more seriously. I write more often and take advantage of more writing opportunities.  I even wrote for my employer's magazine. {That was exhilarating and scary at the same time. It was a slick magazine shared through out the entire company.}

I participated in the National Novel Writing Month. Yes, I completed a work of fiction. It is something I wouldn't share with anyone in its current state.  But I actually challenged myself and now have an IDEA {only an idea} of what it takes to write the first draft of a novel.  

Someone I knew once said, "If something is worth doing, it's worth doing badly." I thought I had misheard until he went on to explain: Many of us are frozen, afraid to do something poorly.  When, if it is really worth doing, it is worth doing regardless of the end result. First attempts are not supposed to be perfect. We miss a lot of life {and a lot of writing} by holding ourselves to high standards before we even begin. 

So I say to you:  Write Often and Write On!  What's more, I say: ENJOY the process.