Winter Break... Part 3

My winter break is about to come to an end. 

Here is a song to end my winter break on.

Winter Song by Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson

I start back to school on Tuesday. It is weird in a good way to be going back to school. I know I have only had a month off but in some ways it feels like it has been longer. I mean I went home for Christmas for a week and got some down time but I also got to see a lot of family. I loved my down time, there was one day I was sitting on the sofa with my lab top in my lap and I was working on my story but I was still in my pajamas and my dad asked me if I was okay. Yeah I was great I wasn't thinking about school or work, I was just having a care free day (it was wonderful). But since coming back to Boston I feel like I have had another month to adjust to real life. 

In the month I have had off I have done...

1. A lot of reading...I finished off North and South (a book it took me all semester to read), A Jane Austen Education and started reading The American Heiress.

2. I have written a lot. I started the winter break with only 9 blog post on my blog Sisters of Pine Haven I am now up to 17 blog post. In other words that comes to 66 pages and 28,000+ words. It is not quite the 50,000 words that people had to write for National Novel Writing Month. I know that was in November but I wanted to see how many words I could write in my month off. Oh well maybe one day I will finish the novel. 

3. I have spent lots of time with my friends. My friend had a great New Years Eve party, where I felt I danced all night. I am not a good dancer but I do love to dance around. One of my best friends and I have hung out a lot rather watching the Golden globes, episodes of Downton Abbey or going to to go see the movie The Artist. 

The movie The Artist owes a blog post of its own it was so good. I didn't think I would enjoy it as much as I did but I loved it a lot. If you don't know anything about it, it is all silent (minus a few parts) and black and white. But the plot takes place during the end of the 1920s when the film industry switches from silent films to talkies. The main guy, George Valentine, is a big silent film star doesn't embrace the idea of talkies. 

Of course when I left the film I wanted to see Singing in the Rain, Jean Dujardin, has a very Gene Kelly way about him. I was so happy when The Artist won so many Golden Globes and I wish the movie well in the Oscars. 

4. I also spent way too much time on social media from Facebook, my blog, to YouTube (mostly looking up Downton Abbey videos), and Pinterest getting lots of great pictures that really helped inspire my story. 

5. Most importantly I have left my full time job in order to be a full time student. It is weird to leave a job I have had for a year and a half. It was not in a career I wanted to pursue long term but I did make it a part of me, I guess that is natural to make something you do every day a part of you. But I didn't realize how much it was a part of me until I left.

Over all it has been a good break...nothing too big but lots of time to relax and great time with friends. I loved having dinner on a random Tuesday night at the Cheese Cake Factory. That is probably my favorite thing about breaks having my nights free to do what I wanted. 

Have a nice weekend. 

Jane Austen and Faith

In my last post, A Jane Austen Heroine, I wrote that... I am ready to say I want to be a Jane Austen heroine, I know a lot of girls say that and they mean they want to have a Jane Austen love story... well that might be true but I want to be is an Austen heroine who spends some of her life living in an ideal world with big dreams but then learns through mistakes and errors the life she really wants.

Well last night I was praying I realized I am a Jane Austen heroine and I have a perfect Jane Austen hero... God. I know, I know it sounds corny but hear me out. The number one thing I like about Jane Austen novels is all her heroines are flawed... they all mess up.

I mostly like Emma she is a hopeless romantic, she speaks without thinking and meddles in other people's business but Mr. Knightly loves her anyway. He sees passed all her flaws and loves her. God is like that he loves me when I am mean, inconsiderate, and when I judge too quickly. He wants me to admit my mistakes, learn from them, grow in Him and change my ways. But no matter what God loves us. To me that makes him the greatest Hero. I have to thank Him for seeing beyond all my flaws and not only loving me in spite of them but saving me from my flaws so I can have a beautiful future.

God is better then Mr. Knightly, Colonel Brandon and Mr. Darcy combined. 

Secrets Revealed

The days following the ball there was a shift in the household. People came to Danford Hall to call on the family and when Kathryn made her calls she invited Emmy to come with her not Julia. Emmy found most of the visits to be mind dulling and repetitive. She heard the same news, the same gossip or reports from each of the women they called on. The only calls Emmy found interesting were the ones Kathryn did for the church, it was these calls Kathryn and Emmy would visit the poor or the invalid. Here Emmy felt useful and the conversation were not mindlessly repetitive. But nothing replaced the pleasure Emmy gained from her quiet times in the woods.

            Emmy had tried to be more lady like but the woods still called to her so she would slip out before the house rose and then be back at breakfast with every hair in the right place and dressed without a spot of dirt. She thought no one was the wiser but little did she know one morning Caleb James woke up from the restless night and watched Emmy creep out into the woods. 

            "Hello Miss Emmy," Caleb called up to Emmy who was sitting on the lowest branch of the tree she always hid in.

            ”How did you know I was here?"

            "I saw you sneak out yesterday and today I followed you."

            "Oh Mr. James please don't tell the household."

            "Why not?"

            "I would be mortified if they found out."

            "Mortified?"

            "Yes so you must not tell them."

            "Why don't you come down so we can go for a walk or at least not yell and perhaps wake the house."

            "All right I'll come down."

            When Emmy was down from the tree Caleb asked. "Now what were you doing in that tree? and why can't I tell anyone?"

            "I am sorry Mr. James I guess I still have childish ways in me."

            "You need not apologize to me. I think that is endearing."

            "Thank you Mr. James but I don't think your sister or my sister would agree."

            "Why do you say that?"

            "Both of them want me to grow up or at last act more grown up.  I think they would see it as childish to climb trees or wade in creeks and get all muddy."

            "Well then Miss. Emmy it will be our little secret."

            "Thank you."

            "Now Miss Emmy, we should probably get back before anyone notices. I would hate to ruin your reputation by having you seen a lone with a man."

            "But we have walked alone before."

            "You had not been presented yet, now you have countless men seeking after your hand."

            "You are kind Mr. James but I doubt I will have countless men seeking after my hand."

            "You had a line of men wanting to dance with you."

            "Yes but that was one night, I can hardly believe any of them will turn into a suitor."

            "Why?"

            Emmy couldn't tell him they were penniless so thought of something quick. "Mother, would not allow me to anyone till Laurel was married or at least engaged."

            "That is very traditional."

            "My mother is very traditional. We had all hoped she would be engaged soon but we have heard nothing from Mr. Foster since he left," she didn't mean to say the name but it slipped."

            "Mr. Foster?"

            "Oh Mr. James, you cannot tell anyone I said the name. Laurel would slaughter me for speaking about it."

            "Two secrets in one day," Caleb smiled. "But Mr. Foster? A Mr. Ethan Foster?"

            "Yes. Do you know him?"

            "By name only. But I cannot believe he would propose to your sister."

            "Why not?" Emmy said in an angry huff.

            "Well the Mr. Foster I know, and it could be a different Mr. Foster is already engaged."

To read more click here

A Jane Austen Heroine

In my post Re-Reading Jane I talked about the new book I was reading and how much I loved it... well I just finished it and I still love it. I have learned Austen's novels are not just love stories they are life lessons. William Deresiewics talks about how in each book we learn life lessons. In Emma the life lesson was not to take the small moments for granted, in Pride & Prejudice we learn that we will make mistakes it is a part of growing up but we have to admit we make mistakes and learn from them.

Then he goes further how in Northanger Abbey we learn how to learn, not just to answer questions but to experience life and he challenged us that we can still learn to love things. I will admit Northanger Abbey is not my favorite book so that chapter didn't really resonate with me as the chapters on Emma and Pride & Prejudice did. But at the end he captured me with this sentence We can never reach the end of what's inside us, never know the limit of our own potential. I am still mulling it over what that means for me. But I remember in high school my guidance counselor always telling me I had great potential. I wanted to laugh in her face because I could not see much potential in me. But I like this line because we don't know what potential we have, we can stop our potential if we stop trying to be better selves or just think we are only good at one thing and that's it. But I think we all have more potential in us if we are willing just to risk a bit more. I don't know if Jane Austen wants us to risk things but I know she wanted us to keep learning. William wrote that in Northanger Abbey, the heroine Catherine learned to love a food, and we can learn to love something too we just have to try.

The next chapter was on Mansfield Park. When I first read Mansfield Park I didn't like it because the heroine was too mousy, she was quiet for most of the book the only time she got attention was when her cousins went away and Henry Crawford is only paying attention to her as a game for himself. Then there is Mary Crawford who is opinionated, passionate, and attractive. But we aren't really suppose to like her because she seems to care little for the people around her (if they aren't doing things her way) and she is unwilling to marry the man she loves because he wants to be a simple clergy man. But you also don't like her because she and most of the characters in the book are only out to seek their amusement. Fanny Price is different she is always serving her aunts, even when no one notices and holds on to her values even when it is not popular. Austen makes her the heroine of the story because she is good to all those around her even when no one notices. Choosing Fanny-ness over Mary-ness does not come naturally and is not particularly pleasant, but, Austen was telling us, it is what we deed to do. 

Then he discussed Persuasion, a novel I have always thought was one of Austen's darker novels. The novel's heroine Anne, is at the end of her bloom at the age of 27, she is basically an out cast from her family as she does not think like them, and she seems to miss the chance of her love when she rejected Captain Wentworth eight years earlier. Of course when she rejected Captain Wentworth she was was persuaded wrongly because her family and family friends thought she could do better than him. But in the novel Anne discovers that family might be the people we are born into but friends are the family we choose. While in some ways I feel myself as an outcast from my family as I have chosen to live in Boston while most of my family lives still in the mid-west, I sometimes feel I don't fit in to that world... but I am luckier Anne, as while I might feel like I don't fit into my family I still feel their love and I don't think Anne felt the love of her family. I am also lucky that I have made a great group of friends out here in Boston, some I call my second family. I have a great friend who is not that much older than me, but I call her my Boston mom, as she is protective of me and when I need to cry I go to her and she is there with open arms but also there to give advice. But Anne is the heroine of the story because she learns not listen to her family's negativity and because close friends with Mrs. Smith, a woman who needs Anne but her family doesn't understand her friendship.

William reading Persuasion learns that being a true friend means not just making sure your friends are happy all the time. To be a true friend it means admitting when you're wrong, but more importantly it means being willing to tell your friend when they are.True friendship to in our world is described by William as being about unconditional acceptance and support. The true friend validates your feelings,, takes your side at all times, helps you feel good about yourself at all times, and never judges you. But that is not the idea of true happiness to Austen for her, being happy means becoming a better person, and becoming a better person means having your mistakes pointed out to you in a way that you can't ignore. In that way it seems that a friend is like a mentor or in the Christian world we call that an accountability partner. In way a good friend is not only there to point out your mistakes but they are to help you through your errors and trials, looking back on the story of Northanger Abbey, I can see Anne sticking by her friends and family even when they are not perfect (and in reality who is ever perfect?)

The last chapter is about Sense and Sensibility and falling in love. In Sense and Sensibility there are two love stories the one between Elinor and Edward Ferras and Marianne and Mr. Willoughby. Elinor's love story is very modest and quiet but Marianne's is passionate and kind of in your face. I think if Marianne and Mr. Willoughby lived today you would be disgusted by their PDA. Marianne wants a passionate love story and doesn't think there is any other kind of love to have than the ones that exist in novels or plays (she sites Romeo and Juliet) but Austen points out that those passionate loves also die out quickly. Marianne was quick to believe that Willoughby was her soul mate (sometimes an idea I think I put too much hope in) but Austen had no use for things like fate or soul mats, second selves or other halves...or any other mythical idea which we try to turn love into something cosmic. A relationship is dependent, at least in it inception, not on destiny but on it very opposite--chance. But it William also notes for Austen love is not something that happens to you suddenly or otherwise; it's something you have to prepare yourself for... For Austen, before you fall in love with someone else, you have to know yourself.  

I am ready to say I want to be a Jane Austen heroine, I know a lot of girls say that and they mean they want to have a Jane Austen love story... well that might be true but I want to be is an Austen heroine who spends some of her life living in an ideal world with big dreams but then learns through mistakes and errors the life she really wants. I want to be a little bit of all the heroines serving generously and loving softly like Fanny Price, being a hopeful romantic who is not afraid to speak her mind and dream big like Emma Woodhouse and Marianne Dashwood but also know when to hold my tongue like Elinor Dashwood. I want to stick up for what I see is right like Anne Elliot but admit when I have made an error like Elizabeth Bennett. But over all I think I want to keep a little idealistic side to me, one that will always see the good in people like Catherine Morland.

There are two more quotes I want to share that really struck me near the end of the book, they fall in the chapter on Sense and Sensibility but I thought they were good over all lessons.The key to happiness is letting life surprise you. I love to plain out my life and have an idea where I am going to be in the next five years but I look back at the moments and the ones I hold closest to my heart are the ones that catch me off guard and shake up my life. The last quote I loved was true love takes you by surprise, and if it is really worth something, it continues to take you by surprise. I can't wait to feel that.