A little bit of light

"Why does anyone lie? Cuz we're scared? Or crazy? Or just mean?... There's a million reasons why a person lies... But sometimes, you tell a lie so big... that it changes your whole life... Lie's so big... it makes you think... "

-Willy Jack Pickens "Where the heart is"

It came to me to me in church... it is a long story. My church is going through the book of Luke and today we read the text of Luke 11:1-21, 29-35. We read it in kind of a mix up order but the part of it that stuck out to me was the part about Jesus casting out the demon of a man. I know because of Hollywood we think of demons in probably an odd way, my pastor talked about the movies like The Exorcism, of course I just watched the movie Disney movie Hercules so I had the image of Pain and Panic in my head. Any way, whatever we imagine is probably not right. The way my pastor described it was Satan can tell us lies about who we are, and sometimes we can get a relationship with those lies more than the truths God created. 


I know this is very true of myself. I don't know how or when but some where in my life I was told that I was unworthy of love. I wasn't actually told that but I hear it whispered in my ear a lot. I have believed and clung to a lie that I was unworthy of love for so long. I have love in my life but sometimes I feel like no matter what I do I won't be good enough for the love that is around me. Or in other words there is this standard to be met and what ever I do I can not meet the standard. 

Like a pole vaulter now being able to get over the bar

It is a deep trapped feeling and it is not a happy thought process... so I don't know why I cling to this lie. But my pastor said that spiritual forces exist to lie and destroy all the good in the world. It is true when I am in a good place with the Lord these lies don't whisper to me but when I have pulled away from the Lord they are at their loudest. But these spiritual forces can be defeated. The most important way to counter act this is a life of prayer. Through this life style we allow more light to come in and see less darkness. 

I think this will be an on going thing. I obviously still carry many scars around with me. 

Then we discussed Luke 11:9,10

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened."

We have to keep to asking God. Asking God shows our venerability and it shows that he is in charge. Then we have to seek. We have to seek out the directions from God and the places in our lives that need to change, or the places that we still have darkness with in us. And knock, we can't just ask because it is not just about what we pray it is mostly about our actions. My pastor said the quote..

Pray like it all depends on God, then when you are done, go work like it all depends on you.

-Martin Luther

(It is very important that it is in that order)

The quote from Where the Heart is came to me as I was walking home from lunch. I wasn't wondering so much why we lie, I was wondering more why stick with the lies. We know they aren't true but I guess like Willy Jack Pickens said "we are scared" and we let the lies grow so big they just become a part of us. But we all need a let a little bit more light in our lives and let go of the darkness we carry around. This might be a life time journey. 

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