2/27/26- A little back story:
This is just a thought I had in my prayer time of sharing my prayers as a single woman. I would say on the cusp of my 40th Birthday that I have been single way more than in a relationship, and it is not that I don't want to date or be married one day, it is just hard as I struggle with insecurities, abandonment issues, and other emotional things. But a couple of weeks ago, I was driving home from church listening to a worship song, and I thought, "My life is not about getting married, it is about serving God, knowing God, and making Him known." Then, 2 days (give or take), a guy slipped into my DMs, and we messaged, and things went well till I got nervous and said, "never mind." Don't fear —I didn't ghost him. I told him how I felt.
Then, in a Facebook group I am a part of (for single Christians), someone asked about being loved. She said she had her kids, but it is not the same. I wrote, I don't have kids, but I understand. I want to be seen, known, loved, and desired. While there were many red flags about my ex, he made it very obvious he desired me, and I miss that. Having put those words out there, I felt this gap in me... UGH. So here I am sharing my prayers for better or worse. Maybe if you are like me, you will read them and know you are not alone.
2/21-
Lord, I'm not sure why my heart wants to seek him [the ex] out--I blocked him--no good can come from it. Lord, if I have any powere what so ever, I'm going to ask that you cut ties with him. Lord, I pray you cut ties. I pray you strengthen my heart. Lord, I need you. Lord, wrap me up in your arms. Guide me, Oh Lord... I pray today, this week, and this month, that my longings turn to trust, my insecurities turn to certainty, and my hope turns to hope. For you are gracious, good, and loving and secure.
2/25-
Lord, I give you my desire to be in a relationship to be loved, seen, known, and desired. Lord, I give you my wanting to be redeemed, and to have your joy, and your closeness--work in our relationship.
More to come...
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