Still Asking. Still Trusting: A Mid-Year Prayer Update

Dear Lovely Reader, 

I have had two blog posts on my mind for weeks. One being my Psalm 8 (part 2), and now this follow-up to my 40 random facts about me. I ended the last post of that series with the words of my friend, "What is one of your favorite things about last year?" And "What is one thing you want to accomplish in the next year?"

I had every plan to answer that, but as I began to write my post (because, yes, most times I write it out by hand before typing it up), I realized I didn't really do that. Loosely but not really.

At the beginning of the year, I wrote out my prayers for 2026, and I have been blessed to see how God is answering them. The year is only halfway done, and I am blessed to see how God will answer the others. 

📌Yellow note card — "Prayers for 2026."

• God's healing power in my life, enabling me to experience His peace, hope, and joy.
• Rely more on His facts than my feelings
• Being fully funded
• Pray for my heart to be restored in Him so I'm open to another relationship (in His timing)
• Movement of the Holy Spirit, so there is revival for God throughout Sharpstown
• Embrace what God desires?
• That I may hear Him clearly

Praise:

• My job is support-raised, and if you would like to learn more, please sign up for my mailing list (link). I am truly grateful to share that, while I am not yet fully funded, I have reached a strong percentage — something that has been a significant challenge for me over the years. This progress is an incredible answer to prayer, and I am deeply encouraged by how far God has brought me.
  
  
• My heart is being actively restored, and I am in a relationship with a wonderful man who is pointing me more and more to Jesus. Last week, I shared a prayer request, and he said he was praying and thinking about it too. I thought it was awesome God has us on the same path, even if we don't talk about it.

Prayers:

• I continue to pray for revival in Sharpstown, because I see so many nations represented in this part of Houston. I truly believe if revival were to happen here, it could transform not only Houston but also nations around the world.
• Still truly trying to embrace who God desires me to be (that will probably be a lifetime prayer).

🙏 Back to praises and a little bit of prayers:

• God's healing in my life… The end of 2024 and a lot of 2025 were hard for me. I sat in a lot of grief, shame, and regret, so I prayed for restoration. I can't say I have reached the pinnacle of His peace, hope, and joy. I think there are still things I am working through with God, but there is a lot more light than darkness.

I don't know when I wrote the blue card, probably later in January or early February, but as much as I can proclaim things over myself* I prayed:

• Tears and pain would turn to rejoicing
• Doubts and fears would turn to certainty
• Longings would turn to trust
• Hurt would turn to hope
• Unforgiveness would turn to restoration
• Lack would turn to abundance
• Lack would turn to wisdom

God is graciously blessing me in many of these prayers, but looking over this list, I can still see some areas of struggle I need to actively turn over to the Lord. But as I said in my Psalm 8 (part 2) post, I am still crying out to God, "I trust, but help my untrusting."

I don't have a neat bow to tie on any of this — and honestly, I don't think I'm supposed to. Faith is a daily return. And so I'll keep returning, keep writing my prayers on little note cards, keep pinning them where I can see them. Because the card on my board is a constant reminder — "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us." (1 John 5:14). He heard me when I wrote those prayers in January, and He is still hearing me now. 

💖 Lovely reader, He hears you too. So keep asking. Keep returning. Nothing you lay before Him is ever forgotten.

Thanks for reading and joining me in this journey. 

This is usually what it looks like when I am getting blogging done

* I often wrestle with how to approach proclaiming things—I don’t want to fall into a “name it and claim it” mindset. Still, I believe there is genuine value in trusting God with our lives and honestly expressing our desires to Him. I am thinking of verses- Psalm 37:4, 62:8, Philippians 4:6-7, and Romans 8:26-27, and I hope that if I am misunderstanding these verses or taking them out of context, you will graciously correct me. 

Turning 40: 40 fun facts about me (part 5)

Now that it is the final facts, I will say this has been a fun and interesting reflection on my life. 

33. First country I ever visited outside the U.S.? France, well, technically Spain, but all I did was get off the plane, get in a car, and drive on the highway to the cruise boat. So I am sticking with France. 

In a town where I got to see Roman ruins outside of Marseille
(Sorry, can't remember name)

34. Most random anecdote: I have been licked by a giraffe... my best friend in high school, Karen, and I were visiting Six Flags Marine World, and they had this opportunity to take a picture with a giraffe. Well, from what I remember, my friend held the salt stick to get the giraffe to come over to us, but she held it closer to me, and it licked me. Not sure why, but I freaked out, and somehow their telling me it was good luck to be licked by a giraffe calmed me down (I wasn't a Christian yet, so maybe that really did calm me down).

35. Favorite Boston memory: Going to John Lester’s no-hitter on my 23rd birthday or doing the Freedom Trail with visitors and stopping for some cannoli. 

At John Lester's no-hitter

But in all honesty, I mostly just hung out with my friends and watched movies at their apartments.  It was here I lived life, grew in my faith, and found a support system. 

36. Favorite Houston memory (not family related): Seeing Reba McEntire at the Houston Rodeo

But I would not have gone to the Rodeo if it weren't for the wonderful friends I have made at PLI... so I should give them a little shout-out. 

37. Favorite comfort food on a bad day: This is going to sound random, but when I am feeling really crummy, I like to make rice and eat it with butter and sugar. We ate a lot of rice when I was growing up because it was cheap and easy to make. 

38. What has been the hardest season of your life, and what did it teach you? I have struggled with depression on and off since my junior year of high school. The time that stands out most was after grad school, when I searched for a job, and nothing happened. Whenever friends asked about it, I wanted to cry or shout—I felt useless, disappointed, discouraged. Other friends seemed to get job offers right away. I cried out to God, “Why?” My quiet time became a checklist. I remember walking home from the train and wishing a bus would hit me and end it all.

I felt like dirt—worse than dirt.

Moving to Houston didn’t magically fix things; my problems followed me. I still scrambled and called out to God. One day, driving to a babysitting job, I thought a pickup truck would merge into me. I swerved into an 18-wheeler. Somehow, I only damaged my bumper and had a headache. I walked away knowing God must have a purpose for me. I’m still living in that truth.

39. Do you have any irrational fears or phobias? Yes, ants, and my roommate thinks it is hilarious that I love Ant-Man. 

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And falling out of a roller coaster. 

40. Favorite role in life (thus far): Being "Aunt Blaire," if you spend any time around me in real life, you will know my niece and nephews are my favorite subject to speak about (after Jesus). I'm always so proud of them; they hold my heart, and watching them grow up has been one of the biggest blessings in my life.

After putting all of this together, I'm already thinking about what comes next. A friend in Boston had a beautiful birthday tradition... every year, she would ask two questions: What was your favorite thing about the last year? And what is one thing you want to accomplish in the next year? I love that. Simple, intentional, and worth sitting with.

I think that deserves its own post... Stay tuned. 🎂

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📖 Psalm 8: How Excellent Is Your Name

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Dear Lovely Readers,

I don't know how many times I have said it on here, but one of my dreams is to use this blog as a Bible study that maybe one day will become a book (dream upon dream) — but if I don't start somewhere, I will probably never start. So here I go.

First, let me explain that I go through something like a Discovery Bible Study (DBS) (to learn more, click here). In this, I go through questions:

1. What does it say? Or what happened? Who, when, where?
2. What does it say about God? His character or His promises?
3. What stood out or made me question something?
4. What does it say about people/me?

I write out the verse, and if it's cross-referenced, I look it up. So it can take me days to go through a section, or weeks to go through a chapter… but I don't mind. I had a friend tell me once that it took her 10 years to do an inductive study of the whole Bible. And I figure the time is going to pass anyway, so I might as well use it to get deeper into the Word.

This post is dedicated to my boyfriend. A few days ago, I was really struggling, and I couldn't stop crying, so I called him and asked him to read a Psalm to me. He pulled out his favorite — Psalm 8 — and read it over me.

📖 The Passage: Psalm 8

v.1 — "O LORD, our Lord, how excellent is Your name in all the earth, who has set Your glory above the heavens."

v.2 — "Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants You have ordained strength, because of Your enemies, that You may silence the enemy and the avenger."

v.3 — "When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have ordained..."

v.4–5 — "What is man that You are mindful of him, and the son of man that You visit him? For You have made him a little lower than the angels, and You have crowned him with glory and honor."

v.6 — "You have made him to have dominion over the works of Your hands; You have put all things under his feet."

v.9 — "O LORD, our Lord, how excellent is Your name in all the earth!"

What Does It Say? (Observation)

Psalm 8 is a song of praise — a bookend psalm, opening and closing with the same declaration: "O LORD, our Lord, how excellent is Your name in all the earth." It begins and ends in worship, and everything in between is wonder. 

A quick note on the very first verse that stood out in my study: the first word is the divine name Yahweh. The second Hebrew word, translated "our Lord," carries the meaning of "Our Sovereign." So right from the start, David is not just praising a faraway deity — he is crying out to the God who is both transcendent (above all the heavens) and intimately personal (our Lord, our Sovereign).

Does it stop you, too — that He is both the God of the universe and somehow, personally, yours?

💖 What Does It Say About God?

God's glory surpasses the heavens (v.1). Cross-referencing with Psalm 148:13: "Let them praise the name of the LORD, for His name alone is exalted; His glory is above all the earth and heavens." And Psalm 113:4: "The LORD is high above all nations, His glory is above the heavens." His name and His glory are inseparable — and both are incomprehensibly vast. 

God uses the weak to silence the proud (v.2). The cross-references here are fascinating. In Matthew 21:16, Jesus quotes this very verse when the children are crying out "Hosanna" in the temple courts and the religious leaders are indignant. Jesus essentially says: Yes. This is exactly what this psalm is about. And 1 Corinthians 1:27 echoes it: "But God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things that are mighty." God doesn't need the powerful or the polished. He ordains praise from the mouths of babies. That's the kind of God He is.

And honestly, doesn't that just take the pressure off?

God is intimately attentive to human beings (v.4–5). This is perhaps the most stunning part of the psalm. David looks up at the stars — at the immeasurable expanse of creation — and asks: What is man, that You are mindful of him? The rhetorical question is meant to stun us. And it should. God created all of this, and yet He is mindful of us. He visits us. The Hebrew text of verse 5 reads: "You have made him to lack little of God" — human beings are made in His image, just a little less than the angels, and crowned with glory and honor. When is the last time you actually let yourself believe that about yourself?

What Stood Out or Made Me Question Something?

The note I wrote in my journal says it best: "The response to this rhetorical question creates stunned awe."

Man — made of the earth — starts out at the summit of God's creation. That's not arrogance; that's the biblical vision of human dignity. We were made for something. We were made like Someone.

And then there's verse 6, which pulled me into a cross-reference rabbit hole (the best kind): "You have made him to have dominion over the works of Your hands; You have put all things under his feet." (See also: Genesis 1:26, 28; 1 Corinthians 15:27; Ephesians 1:22; Hebrews 2:8.)

This is where Psalm 8 connects directly to something much bigger — to the story of Christ. In 1 Corinthians 15:27, Paul quotes this psalm and applies it to Jesus. Hebrews 2 does the same. The dominion given to humanity in Genesis, echoed in Psalm 8, finds its ultimate fulfillment in the Son of Man. Jesus is the one in whom all things are truly put under His feet. 

That thread — from Genesis to the Psalms to Paul — makes me sit on my bed with a cup of tea and just... wonder.

What Does It Say About Me?

I am seen. I am visited. I am crowned.

Not because I earned it. Not because I am impressive. But because He is, and He chose to make me in His image, to give me dignity, to set His attention on me.

On the day I called my boyfriend crying, I didn't feel crowned. I felt like the dust I'm made of. And he read me this psalm. And somewhere in "O LORD, our Lord, how excellent is Your name" — I remembered that the God whose glory is above the heavens also bends down to be our Lord. My Lord.

That's the whole psalm in a breath: He is infinitely great, and He is intimately ours.

🙏 A Prayer to Close

Thank You, Lord, for Your authority, and for the authority You have given me. Lord, I am sorry if I have ever abused or misused it. You are holy, righteous, and good. You love wholeheartedly. You are my God, and I don't want dominion if You are not leading.

Amen.

🔎 Cross-references used in this study: Psalm 148:13; Psalm 113:4; Psalm 111:2; Psalm 44:16; Genesis 1:26, 28; Matthew 21:16; 1 Corinthians 1:27; 1 Corinthians 15:27; Ephesians 1:22; Hebrews 2:6–8; Job 7:17–18; Job 10:12

Can you sit with that for a second — that the God who made the stars is mindful of you, specifically?

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If God is with you... (part 2)

Hello faithful readers,

In the first part of this reflection, I lingered in Gideon’s encounter with God, the questions, the hesitation, and the quiet reassurance of God’s presence. But as I sat with the story longer, I began to realize something: Gideon’s questions sound a lot like my own. 

For part one, click here. 

Part one

From this study, I noticed twice that God promised to be with Gideon. And this is not a promise limited to Gideon. God makes this promise in Exodus, Joshua, it is the last verse in Matthew... “I am with you always, even to the end of the age” (28:20), Jesus is also called Emmanuel, which means “God with us,” and “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us...” (John 1:4).

Also, I noticed how much I am like Gideon:

1) In asking God, why has all this happened? And yet I know (sometimes) the mess I am walking through is because of the mistakes, the sins I have done—I know God forgives and redeems, like God pulled the Israelites out of the hands of the Midianites, but also you have to deal with the mess (the consequences of sin). Gideon asks the Angel, “Where are all His miracles which our fathers told us about...” And I feel kind of blatantly put God on trial, saying “But now the LORD has forsaken us...” (v.13) And maybe it is not an accusation but a cry of his heart?

How many times have I felt forsaken? And I just have to cling to the promise that God does not abandon or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6, 8; Joshua 1:5; 1 Chronicles 28:20; and Hebrews 13:5). But then sit there and wonder if those words are true, and cry out again.

2) Gideon saying, “If I have now found favor in your sight, then show me a sign...” How many times have I wondered if I have favor with God? Am I worthy of asking for anything when I’m sure I fail a thousand times (a day)?  

But even in that, I have God’s assurances, “And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My name, I will do it” (John 14:13,14). I am not a name-and-claim-it kind of person, because there are passages that speak of asking according to His will. But in time of wondering, my dad sent me a card with the verse 1 John 5:14 written on it.

-Now this is the confidence we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.  

3)Do I ask for signs? And am I confident that He will do the signs (if necessary)? If He does sign, do I recognize them, or like Gideon, do I ask for one more sign?

Wrapping this up, I will say in verse 34 it says, “But the Spirit of the LORD came upon Gideon...” Even in Gideon's flaws, God still gives him His presence.

I am reassured by verses like this and others that God grants me His presence.

-I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in Him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. (John 15:5)

-in whom you are also being built together for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit. (Ephesians 2:22)

-But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; who once were not a people but are now the people of God, who had not obtained mercy but now have obtained mercy. (1 Peter 2:21)

As I close this reflection, these are the questions I’m still sitting with:

• Where am I asking God for reassurance, even after He has already spoken?

• What promises of God am I struggling to believe right now?

• And maybe the question isn’t whether God is present, but whether I am willing to trust Him when He is? 

• Curious if you are brave enough to answer, where do you see yourself in Gideon’s story?

A terebinth tree

I guess this is how I imagine a terebinth tree in Israel, being this shady place to rest in the cool of the day, and since God would know where to meet us in the shade and in the cool places, and as God is to be our rest maybe this is why He hangs out in the terebinth trees to reveal Himself in the Old Testament.

If God Is With You… Why Does It Feel Like This?

Hello faithful readers, 

As I have said, one of my goals in life and with this blog is to write a Bible study... for this perfectionist, that is a big undertaking. Like, who am I to write a study? Where would I start? Am I even qualified? Well, after thinking, overthinking, and rethinking about it (a common habit of mine), I finally sat down and wrote one (well 2 blog posts), but I hope to write more.

Thanks for your support! 

Gideon with an angel... I'm assuming consuming the rock with fire

I have been going through a time of questions, and late in 2025 and earlier this year, I felt my prayers were going no further than the pages of my journal. I was left wondering, “Where is God?” “What does He desire?” And “Does He actually hear me?” This brings me to the story of Gideon (Judges 6).

The Angel of the Lord comes and sits down under the terebinth tree (v.11).* And the Angel says to Gideon, “The Lord is with you, mighty man of valor.” I highlighted that in green because it is a promise, and I wrote a “W” next to it, to remind me when God says He is with us. And Gideon asks if the Lord is with us, then why has all this happened?

The “all” he is referring to is that the Midianites have attacked and oppressed the people. It seems kind of a funny question because in verse 1, it is stated, “Then the children of Israel did evil in the sight of the LORD. So the LORD delivered them into the hands of Midian. But God promised the Israelites in Deuteronomy 28:

-The Lord will open to you His good treasure, the heavens, to give rain to your land in its season, and to bless all the work of your hand...And the LORD will make you the head and not the tail; you shall be above only, and not be beneath, if you heed the commandments of the LORD your God, which I command you today, and are careful to observe them (v.12,13).

-But it shall come to pass, if you do not obey the voice of the LORD your God, to observe carefully all His commandments and His statutes which I command you today, that all these curses will come upon you (v.15)

Now I am going to go out on a limb and say that with the Israelites doing evil in the sight of the Lord, they were not doing as God commanded. So God was punishing them — or, as I like to think of it, correcting them so they would turn back to God.

In verse 14, the NKJV states, “The LORD turned to him,” (not the angel but the LORD) and says, “Go in the might of yours, and you shall save Israel from the Midianites. Have I not sent you?” I highlighted that in green too.

Then Gideon says, “If now I have found favor in Your sight, then show me a sign it is You who talk to me.” (v. 17). If you know the story of Gideon, he is famous or infamous for asking God three times about the fleece, whether it would be wet or dry (v.36-40). This is not that part of the story. Here, Gideon prepares a young goat and unleavened bread, puts the broth in a pot, and sets them under the terebinth trees. The Angel of God tells him to take the food, put it on a rock, and from the Angel’s staff he touched the meat and the bread, and fire rises out and consumes it, then the Angel departs (v. 19-21). Now Gideon realizes he has seen an Angel of the LORD face to face (v.22). Then the LORD said to Him, “Peace be to you; do not fear, you shall not die.” (And yes, I highlighted that in green too). And Gideon builds an altar and calls it THE-LORD-IS-Peace. (YHWH Shalom)” (v.23,24). 

Gideon’s story doesn’t end with answers; it begins with a question: Is God really with me?

In Part 2, I want to explore why I see myself so clearly in Gideon, and how God meets us when our faith wavers, our confidence is thin, and our questions feel unanswered.

*Side note: Someone could probably write a whole Old Testament study on terebinth trees; they seem to be very important. The Lord appears to Abram by the terebinth tree in his tent (Genesis 18). And Isaiah compares Israel to a terebinth, as from Israel’s stump, God would produce a holy seed (6:13). 

A terebinth tree 

As I was looking for the above picture found a quick YouTube video about terebinth trees