A blooming flower

The first part of this post might sound familiar if you read my post In want of Womanhood.

On Friday night I went to my friends to watch the Christmas Special of Downton Abbey. Downton Abbey always inspires me to want to write more. I know my story doesn't have the same drama as Downton but all the gracefulness and beauty inspire me. So here is some of my writing of the first part of the ball.

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Emmy sat gazing her reflection in the mirror feeling that she possessed some of her childish features no matter how much Kathryn James tried to glamour her up. Emmy could still see the little freckles on the ridge of her nose she also saw a little girl figure with mostly no to curve to it she was still mostly a stick. She had hoped with her new dress and new hair she would see an eloquent woman looking back at her. A woman who has every hair perfectly in place and eyes that can make a man go weak in the knees. Emmy dabbed a tad of Fiona's perfume that had a wonderful fragrance of wild lilies and sweet mint. Fiona only wore it on special occasions and tonight she was allowing Emmy wear it. She smoothed a loose hair as Kathryn had done her hair perfectly earlier and gave her cheeks a little pinch so they would look rosier. Then her hand strolled down her neck till she felt her mother's pearls around her neck. Emmy placed her hand over them rubbing them every so lightly with the tips of her fingers. Fiona a only owned two necklaces her locket that carried Jefferson's picture and that never came off her neck and this pearl necklace, it was the one she wore when she married Jefferson and it was her only her luxury in life. She didn't even let Laurel wear them to her first ball but she was letting Emmy and Emmy knew how important that was.

            "Emmy!" Fiona's call hastened her step.

            She looked at herself one last time to fix that pesky strain of her hair and got up from the vanity. "Lord, let this night go well, let me remember it forever," she said the prayer quickly, adjusted her dress one last time and left the room as Fiona called for her again.

            Everyone was stunned ad they saw Emmy appear on the top landing of the stairs. All had noticed her slight improvements over these last few weeks since Kathryn had been helping her but no one expected to see such a beautiful lady appear when Emmy came around the corner. Laurel almost gasped when she saw the dress wasn't Emmy's but Miss James' dress. "How disgraceful that Emmy would accept charity," Laurel thought. Fiona and Kathryn only grinned ear to ear seeing the beautiful woman before them. Both Caleb and Brandon were taken back and Julia felt a little ping of jealously see how beautiful her cousin was made up.

            Caleb was bold taking her arm when she got to the bottom of the stairs and escorted her to the motor coach.

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Re-reading Jane

Do you like Jane Austen? If you do there is a book you NEED to read.  A Jane Austen Education by William Derseiwicz.

 I am only chapter 3 but the first 2 chapter really spoke to me. The first one is on Emma and how the novel taught him how to appreciate the small matters of life. At first William seems a highly snobbish guy thinking that he is above silly 19th century, women's literature. He hates the book because there is no adventure, no hero's journey, or big life lessons. Well little does he know there is. During the picnic where Emma criticizes Miss Bates. He then sees himself as Emma always criticizing those around him.

After that William realizes the point of Emma... Austen was asking us to pay attention to the things we usually miss or don't accord us to pay attention to the things we we usually miss... those small "trivial" everyday things, the things that happen hour by hour to the people in our lives...That, she was telling us, is what the fabric of our years really consists of. That is what life is really about. After that I found myself putting little post-its on quotes I liked (I would have underlined it but it is my roommates book). William points out that while Emma has big dreams and seeks out this ideal world she realizes her "daily happiness" was right there in front of her. I have read Emma 3 or 4 times... I love it, it is one of my favorite Austen's but I did not notice these underline themes. But William and Jane challenged me to pay attention to the "minute particulars" is to not your life as it passes, before it passes. This really caught my attention as it is one my challenges for the year to pay attention to the details of my life. Emma finally learned that everyday life is not only more joyful--and more dramatic--than she could have imagined, is is also more joyful and dramatic than anything she did imagine, and of her plots or day dreams. I hope I that I will be like Emma. Of course I ended the chapter thinking I want to now read Emma again but I didn't I continued reading a Jane Austen Education and as much as I loved the first chapter I loved the second chapter even more so.

The next chapter was on Pride and Prejudice and how it taught him to grow up. William falls in love with Elizabeth Bennett from the start he sees her as clever and witty. But beneath the polished wit that she flashed at the world like a suit of armor, Elizabeth was still scarcely more than a girl and like any young woman she makes mistakes while she is growing up. He writes Elizabeth was all of twenty, and her mistakes were errors of youth--the mistakes, precisely, of a person who has never made mistakes, or at least, who has never been forced to acknowledge them. But the most important part of growing up is to admit your mistakes. He claims that Lydia will never grow up because she does not admit her mistakes but keeps making them, even when she runs off an elopes with Mr. Wickham, she does not see it as a mistake.  

William and I guess always saw as growing up as going to school, getting an education, and learning what we wanted to do in life. But that really isn't what growing up. I have had some insights that growing up is more about the life lessons you learn through life. In Pride and Prejudice Elizabeth learns she makes mistakes but she either fixes them or changes her out look on life. William wrote that Austen did not see growing up as getting older  for her, growing up has nothing to do with knowledge or skill, because it has everything to do with character and conduct. You can't grow up with out making mistakes but it is not just about making the mistakes it is about learning from your mistakes (a lesson I really need learn). Austen writes to grow up you have to make mistakes and they will humble or humiliate you because if they don't growing up won't happen. Austen understood that growing up hurts--that it has to hurt, because other wise it won't happen. I have written as one of my New Years resolutions that I don't want to make mistakes, well that is impossible, so if I make mistakes I want to learn from them and not make them again. 

I am loving this book and the life lessons it is teaching me. So if you love Jane Austen and want a little insight into life I recommend this book, and I am only three chapters into it. I will keep you posted on my life lessons I learn from Austen. 

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend. 

Fashion Time... Part 2

In the store

At home

In my post Fashion Time, I wrote how I was looking for a new winter coat. Well thanks to Christmas money and good winter sales I got a new one!!!
I picked grey because I figured I can wear it with brown and black shoes or other accessories. I also love the belt because it gave it a nice little waist.

Thanks lovely readers for your suggestions and votes on the poll I had going.

My thoughts on Journaling

I love to journal. I have had one since the 8th grade when I took a poetry workshop, provided by the public library, and that author encouraged us to journal. Of course in the 8th grade I think I wrote about who I had a crush on at the moment and how I wanted him to like me. So nothing too insightful but what can be expected from an 8th grader. So when I was skimming this article "Reflective Journaling" on a website I like title I found it surprising that the author, Melissa Donavan, wrote "I realize that a lot of writers don’t bother with journals at all; they want to focus on the work they intend to publish." I know I am not published author but I can not imagine not keeping a journal. I fill my journals with prayers, letters I know I will never send to people but it helps me get my thoughts out, quotes I like, doodles (if I can't think what to say) or even book list. I guess in that sense I am " I’m a journal slob" like Melissa calls herself.

As a wannabe archivist I often wonder what people will think of my journals or how my journals will be cataloged, when I am long gone. I even imagine my kids finding my journals after I pass away and reading them. (I know it is a little weird.) But what will they think of my younger years... will they think I had too many crushes? Will they wonder why I repeatedly write letters to people I will never send? Will they think I am over dramatic? I don't know.


I know I find this intriguing because a few years ago my younger sister and I were staying at my Grandma's house and we found one of her old diaries from her college years. It was a five year journal so she wrote a little line in it every day about each day for 5 years. And at one point there was mention of a guy that wasn't my granddad. (I never asked her about it... it wouldn't be right). But as a wanna be writer I have tried to write many a stories that revolved around this plot line.

I like buying a new journal, I spend about 6 months with a journal, and when I get close to the end I go to a book store and buy a new journal. Different designs, different covers have stuck out to me over the years. Of course sometimes being on a college student budget I sometimes have to buy a 99 cent notebook from the drug store... but I figure I can collage them and that is great too. My junior year of high school I had a crush on a guy named Patrick and my friend (probably sick of hearing me talk about him) told me to buy a notebook with the guy Patrick from Sponge Bob. That way every time I thought of Patrick (my crush) I would look at my journal see this Patrick and slowly get over my crush, good idea but sadly it didn't really work.  Every time I get a new journal it feels like a fresh start.

I like this quote from Melissa..."Reflective journal writing has other practical applications, too. Poetry and stories can evolve from reflective journaling. And by striving to better understand ourselves, we may gain greater insight to others, which is highly valuable for fiction writers who need to create complex and realistic characters. The more deeply you understand people and the human condition, the more relatable your characters will be." I kind of gone off topic, but while I use this blog as my open journal, I have a much deeper journal at home... and I love it. I try to write in it (mostly my prayers) every night. So if you don't have a journal... I don't really know how you live. I mean you don't have to have an old fashion journal but with technology today surely you could keep one on you ipad or smart phone.


Basically I really like journaling and if you don't have a New Years Resolution maybe consider buying a journal and using it. Even if you don't write any great piece every one needs a place to get there thoughts out.