Thoughts for Thursday*

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After my last post Body Thoughts I found this quote on Pinterest and I just really wanted to share it. I must say I am quite impressed by my readership on that post... I posted it around 11 AM and by 5 PM blogger told me that 36 people I read it. I don't think any of my post had been read that many times in 1 day except my Lots of Love post. I feel quite blessed and I have loved the responses I have gotten via Facebook. Thanks. 

I am trying to write post with meaning and not just have post for the sake of having post. I feel like the post I have recently written might have seemed like I was going through a low point. I don't want you, my readers, to think that at all. Yes, I feel things are changing in my life it feels like a new season with a new apartment and starting school again (hopefully for my last semester). Yes, sometimes I feel a little overwhelmed by it so sometimes I get a little negative and a little down... sorry that comes out in this blog. Writing has always helped me understand better what is going in my mind. But I don't want people to worrying. 

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I have moved into my apartment and my roommate wants to decorate... she hates the blank white walls (me too). I like having motivational quotes or inspiring Bible verses around my mirror and so I asked her how she felt about that. And she liked it. So I have been going through my Pinterest board "You Just Have to Believe" and I found this one.

I know sometimes I do things and more often don't do things because my fears. I am trying to be open with my life and try to experience new things. But sometimes I know that I hold onto regrets and negative things closer to my heart than positive things (I don't know why that is but I wish I could stop).

A couple of weekends ago I was hanging out with friends and one mentioned that "faith is a verb therefore it is an action." As much as I like writing and talking about things I think I actually have to start doing things. I am not sure what that looks like but I am praying God opens my heart to what he desires... next step action.

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*- I like alliterations 

The Book Thief (Movie Review)... Get your tissues

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I watched The Book Thief  over the weekend and let me just say it is a movie that I think everyone should watch... with tissues that is. It is not a movie I could watch over and over again (so I probably won't be buying) because it is a really powerful movie. It stars Geoffrey Rush as Hans Huberman, Emily Watson as Rosa Huberman, Sophie Nelisse as Liesel and the voice of Roger Allam as Death or the Narrator. The movie is based off the book The Book Thief by Markus Zusak, that I read last winter but missed the movie. I was intrigued by the book because it was about WWII from the German perspective, this didn't seem to be a perspective I had been taught about much. Also from the back of the book I could tell Liesel loved words and the stories that could be told with words so much she was willing to steal them to protect them from Nazis destruction.

I actually liked that it had been awhile since I had read the book because I didn't remember all the details of the book so I could enjoy the movie itself without comparing and contrasting it to the book.

Liesel and Hans
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Liesel saving a book from fire
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The story starts off with Hans and Rosa taking in Liesel, because her mom is a communist and no longer safe in Nazi Germany. Liesel bonds with Hans more in the film. She has to call them "mama" and "papa" but you can tell the way she says "papa" she is happy to say it. When he discovers she can't read he helps her learn and they instantly bond over words. She makes a friend in Rudy (the boy next doors) and while things seem good there is a tension under it all... Hans doesn't like the Nazis politics, which is clear when it is the Fuher's birthday they have to find the flag buried in the basement. Then later in the story they take in and hide Max, a Jew. This she has to keep absolutely secret because if it was ever discovered they were hiding a Jew their lives would be in danger.

Liesel and Max
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I won't go to much into the plot as I don't want to give away spoilers about the movie (for those who haven't read the book). I would say though the story is told with the narrator being Death so not everyone has a happy ending however as he starts off the movie saying "everyone dies."

You can tell when there is a shot of a character touching books like this they love them
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What I liked- The story was compelling. Some reviewers said that it could have packed a better punch but I feel a story cannot do everything... it wasn't a story about over throwing Hitler. It was a story about a girl and her love of words and in that resisted the Nazis' ideals. What I loved about this story was Liesel's love of words. She started off the story not knowing how to read but even still she was protective of the first book she stole. When she is hiding from an air raid she starts telling a story to comfort her neighbors. I love stories where the main character loves books and stories and uses them to help the people around them.

Liesel telling stories in hiding.
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Also I loved the focus of the story being about the German perspective in WWII. There might be many books and movies about this and I might be clueless to them but I felt this was a fresh perspective. And it wasn't just a German perspective it was Germans who in albeit small ways stood against the Nazis regime.

The wise words of Max: 

Liesel sneaking into Mayor's library
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What I didn't like- I know there were some details from the novel that were left out of the movie, but I didn't think this detracted from the story. However, I think the relationship between the Mayor's Wife and Liesel could have been developed more. The Mayor's Wife witnesses Liesel saving a book from the fire and lets her come in to their library and read (very much against the preaching of her husband). Then when they are caught reading Liesel starts stealing or "borrowing" books from the Mayor's library. In the book the Mayor's wife actually leaves the window open for Liesel to sneak in and out of... and I think a detail like this would not have been hard to have in the movie.

Also there was one scene that was violent and threw me. I know the movie's subject is about WWII and an Jew running away for safety...so this would naturally lead to violence but there is a difference between reading it and seeing it. Sometime when reading violence (since I can't really imagine it) I can sort gloss over it. While the scene made sense for the story I guess I don't like seeing the brutality of man towards others. It just hurts my heart.

Over all- Loved this film, though probably won't be watching it over and over again because I like to breathe and there were many moments while watching this film I held my breath to find out what was going on. The film is rated PG-13 and not so much for language because all the bad words are in German (though they are translated in the book) it is more for content. When I told my friend I was going to be watching it, she said "let me know if you think my daughter would like it?" Knowing her daughter and how emotional she can be and I fear this book would hurt her idealistic view of human kind.

If you watch it... I recommend having tissues close by. Though the narrator is Death, I am happy to say what Liesel lives to an old age. And I like the way Death closes the movie..

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Body thoughts

From the movie "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty"
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I am a modest person... I do prefer to cover myself up and I have always thought that modesty was more beautiful. But lately I have been wondering if I hide behind the idea of being modest because I am not confident in my body.

my cousin and I... last summer

I don't have an amazing body and I am okay with that. I don't consider myself sexy and I am okay with that. I cast myself as a Plain Jane and no matter how many times my friends and family tell me I am beautiful I have a hard time believing it. I don't know why this is but sometimes I think I use my ideals of modesty to try my body. There are many moments in my life when I don't feel comfortable in my body or knowing that people are looking at me. One of those moments are when I am in a bathing suit... yep I wear a one piece and wear shorts over them. In one respect I like wearing a one piece because my husband will be the first man to see my belly button (I know that might sound odd.) This pays off because I don't have to apply additional sunscreen but the number one reason I wear the shorts is I don't like my legs or at least my thighs.

I also have a friend who keeps asking me to work out with her. And I know I should it is healthy. But the gym I work out feels like a fashion show with women wearing the newest lulu lemon and don't even sweat. When I think about working out I think about hiding away and no one seeing me. Even still my mind just goes into negative mode. I know I am not in shape, I know that is bad however I don't feel comfortable with the idea of working out. 

It actually makes me feel mentally paralyzing and a hatred of my body.

I know that is bad thinking and it hurts my heart thinking that way. In the Bible it talks about in Genesis how God made us in His image. And there is scripture about how the body is the temple of God. "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own"-1 Corinthians 6:19. I know these verses are talking about sexual morality... but its true, God has called our bodies his Temple.

From all my readings The Temple in the Old Testament was a sacred spot where the presence of God lived in. Then after Jesus the Holy Spirit (the presence of God) was to live in our hearts, and in that our bodies are temples of God. That is a powerful statement... but what does it say about me that there are times I hate my body?

Before I go to far-- let me say these feelings are not everyday. Most of the time (with a bit of make-up) I think I am pretty. So I don't want my mom (my most consistent reader to be concerned about me). These are just passing thoughts and writing them out helps me think about them more and get to the through and muddle through them. Also I hope in my idealistic way that I will write these post and maybe get communication going about things people may not usually talk about. 

I started off this post thinking that hide behind my modesty because I think I lack confidence in my body... but now I am wondering if it is a deeper issue. I am still muddling through these thoughts. If you have any thoughts please let me know... THANKS!

Just thought it was funny
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Nomadic life?

I looked up "nomad" and didn't like any of the options
so I thought I would go with a pin from my "Beautiful Escapism" board
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Okay I am not a real nomad, I mean I am about to celebrate my 9th year of living in Boston... and even this morning in my prayer time I could not believe how much God has blessed me here in this time. And I honestly can't imagine living anywhere else (though I wish I was closer to my family). But lately I have felt very nomadic. Maybe it is my up coming move or hopefully my last semester of school and my soon impending adulthood but I have felt very unconnected to life and the best way I could describe it to my dad was nomadic.

Let me explain...my dad was driving me from Oklahoma City to Dallas (about 3 hours) and we started talking about my life and my future. Ugh I did not have the emotions to talk about this. I hate when I have to admit I have no idea what I want to do in my life (especially to my parents because they are always concerned for me and my dad probably more than anyone as I am doing something he can't really comprehend). I feel I have been in school so long that I am not even sure what the "real world" is. I have also been working on my degree in Library Science, if I was to think of my dream job in that field it would be reference archivist because I would be able to help people with their research but still touch old documents, but I am not really even for sure if that's what I want. And with this mindset and the things I talked about in my previous post (Taking time to reflect) I just couldn't handle this. I tried to explain it to him but all I could say was I feel "very nomadic."

I have frequently said "I have tried to make plans, but God just points and laughs." I am not saying this to say God is being mean but I think sometimes I make plans and then things change (usually for the better...when I look back at it). So I have tried to make any real plans about how I think my life should be as I want to leave myself open for what God has in store and this has been better for me. It is hard I am a planner at heart, but I have pushed myself to give God control of my future. And I do trust that He will take care of me but I right now I really wish that I was more certain with what to do with my life. But right now I am still a little nomad trying to figure things out...

While I am trying to figure things out I always like to keep a list of things I am certain of...

1. God will take care of me and no problem I face will stop that (but I can't just be passive and wait for God to work I have to be more active)
2. I have friends and family who support me (I just need to be better about leaning on them)

I think that is all I need. 

I may not be certain of my future and that it entails but one thing I know is that the only time I feel sure about things is when I am writing. I love this blog as my little online journal and a place to share my stories. I will try to post more of both those things but now outside of this blog and my work I will be focused on my move and starting school.