I feel like an Edith

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If you have watched the season finale of Downton Abbey you have seen this scene. 

You see how desperate she is for love and when I first watched this scene I thought, how pathetic for Edith to say "If you think I am going to give up on some one who says I am lovely." But I can't get this scene out of my head, I think I am like Lady Edith. Through out of the seasons we have watched Edith fall for any guy who gives her attention. First it was Matthew when she pathetically shows him around the churches, then she tries to capture the boring man's attention, and worst of all she kisses that married man this season. I have never gone that far but I feel I am too much like Edith. We have a lot of things in common both of us have sisters who are married and we are the middle daughters and I feel we both do things behind the scenes that no one really notices. And some times comparatively I feel myself the plain Jane, just like Edith is compared to her sisters and we have the red head thing going on. (But no worries I am not the back stabbing girl like Edith). 

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Back to my point, I can see where Edith is coming from when she says the line "if you think I am going to give up some one who says I am lovely". I think Edith does the things she does to get noticed rather good or bad she seems desperate for attention. I have lately noticed how "desperate" I am for love. In my my post "A little bit of light" I wrote about how I felt unworthy for love. But it is not the love you see in fairy tales or the love God has for us but the desperate feeling of acceptance. I think deep down I am desperate for acceptance and worthiness. I seek that from the world but the truth is true acceptance only comes from God. And what's amazing God already accepts me, He calls me worthy. So why do I seek it?

I am reading Beth Moore's book, Praying God's Word. And she has a chapter on unbelief. It is not that I don't believe in him. I have a hard time believing God truly accepts me and truly finds me worthy. That is something I need to pray through. Beth Moore writes out prayers to say in her chapter the one I liked the most.

Father, I pray that the eyes of the heart may be enlightened

in order that I may know the hope to which You have called me, 

the riches of Your glorious inheritance in the saints, and 

Your incomparably great power for us who believe! (Eph. 1:18-19) 

I realize that my seeking acceptance from the world might be a struggle all my life, but I have to work on my belief that God called me and continuously calls me worthy. And that is bigger and grander than any earthly acceptance. 

I found this today in my quiet time...

If the Lord delights in a man's way,

he makes his steps firm;

though he stumble, he will not fall,

for the Lord upholds him with his hand.

Psalm 37:23,24

Holding our breath

Hello lovely readers,

As you might have caught on I am a huge Downton Abbey fan but I have not been able to write about as much as I would like because my mom, my most loyal reader, has not been caught up on all the Downton Abbey action. But tonight I talked to her and she told me she is all caught up so I am so excited to post about episode seven or how it was originally known in England "The Christmas Special."

Last week we saw the sweetest and saddest moment in Downton Abbey. We watched Matthew and Mary come so close to being together but then Lavina caught them and died of broken heart and Matthew refused Mary forever.

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We also saw Anna turn as white as a ghost as her husband, Mr. Bates, got arrested for murder.

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The bright spot in the show was knowing that Lady Sybil and Branson are finally together. While Lord Grantham can not really accept their love and their relationship he does eventually bless their marriage.

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Season one- Branson and Sybil

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Season two- Branson and Sybil (a few years later)

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Tonight season two comes to an end and we all hold our breath for season three.

Here is a 58 second preview of tonight's episode. 

While the dark shadow of Mr. Bates hangs over Downton Abbey. Some happy moments come out of this episode.They welcome in the 1920's and I must say the fashion change is noticeable from the hanging dresses and Lady Mary showing off her ankles.  Lord Grantham stands up for Mary, he wants to send her off to America to and says the great line "find a cowboy in the Middle west and bring him back here to shake us up a bit." Matthew finally is able to punch out Sir Anthony Carlisle, I laughed so hard when I saw it but I laughed harder when Maggie Smith delivers one of her great one liners. Carlisle tells her "I doubt we will meet again" and she says "do you promise?" Then the brightest moment of the show when Matthew and Mary finally stop being stubborn and get engaged. I do hope Julian Fellowes lets us actually watch the wedding and doesn't just skip over it. (It could be as big as Prince William and Kate Middleton's wedding). 

The engagement scene, so you can watch it over and over again (as I have). 

Of course darkness still hangs over Downton Abbey. While Mr. Bates will not hang he is still in jail, we will just have to wait to see what happens next season.

I also want to see what happens to Lady Edith. Last week Edith admitted her fate as sister and aunt who helps her family. In the first season I hated her, this season I went back and forth from hating her to feeling sorry for her. As much as I hate her throwing herself at any man who crosses her path. She says "do you think I would give up on a man who calls me lovely?" I can see her desperation in wanting love and I hope she finds love, real love not just a desperation for love. 

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I know they are already filming the third season of Downton Abbey which will cove the 1920s and I cannot wait to see what Julian Fellowes is plotting for the next year. I hope it doesn't have as many ups and downs as this season and I hope Sybil and Branson will make an appearance.

I do wonder what will occupy all the blogs and tumblrs as we wait for the third season.

My own personal collection of Downton Abbey memorabilia 

Spring is almost here

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Like most Bostonians we get excited when when we hear the word "spring", rather it be spring training for our lovely Red Sox team, or Spring Break for our college students. It means soon the harsh realities of winter will be over and while this winter hasn't been that harsh it will be nice when the days of grey and black are over, when the sun will be out past 5, and a scarf will be an accessory not mandatory. For me the word Spring Fashion puts a little bounce in my step. While I love the September Vogue, the textbook of fashion, I love spring fashion even more. So I am pleased to announce that yesterday when I got my mail the March Elle magazine was sitting box. Th magazine announced it was full of almost 500 pages of spring fashion. It was a nice little gift.

I feel like this is my year's fashion it is full of pencil skirts, nipped waist jackets, pastels and cute little heels.

I took these pics of my magazine

The author, Daphne Merkin, wrote that "for spring, demure '50s-influenced dresses...dominated the runways.'What's old is new again' is, of course, a theme of every fashion season, but the revival of the sublimely feminine silhouette is as much a reflection of a cultural moment as the by-product of that depends of reinvention." In the article Merkin seemed to be concerned that if we went back toward 1950s style that we would convert to that mindset when she writes "Does dressing like Doris Day in A-line or pleated skirt mean to go around batting our eye lashes and acting all helpless?"  But I liked the quote from designer Jason Wu, "I feel that right now is an uncertain time and there's something about a polished, dressed up look that's a nice contrast. When times are challenging, the one thing you can control is the way you look."

While reading this article it was hard not to think about my own fashion. I may not embrace the total 1950s look. I would like to have a little more chic and polished look to my style. I think I want to blend together Rory Gilmore, the college years, some Zooey Deschnel from her look of 500 day of Summer and maybe something more modern. 

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But I am excited for pastels to be coming back into wardrobes. While I love wearing colors I think some times I stick out like a sore thumb around other girls who wear black and grey.

Color changes Everything-Target's newest ad

Good way to explain how I feel.

I think a mass Target run is in my future or maybe I will become a TJ Maxx kind of girl as I try to blend a want of fashion into a Grad's schools student budget. 

The hopeful romantic strikes again

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This pic is not true about me, I love Valentine's Day. 

My co-worker hates Valentine's Day because of the forced affection it causes. I didn't have a good comeback then but I have now thought of one. Valentine's Day is not suppose to be the only day you show your love to some one, you are suppose to do it all the time it is just a good reminder of the love you have in your life. Just like Thanksgiving it is not suppose to be the only time we are thankful for the things we have in our life it is just a good reminder. While I do not have a sweet heart this Valentine's day I love thinking about all the love I do have.

I love the fact that my Grandpa sends me a Valentines day card. I love looking back on Valentines day and remembering when my dad sent me balloons to my day care and that in high school my friends and I would send each other carnations. It is not only on Valentine's Day that I remember I love them but it is nice to have a day set aside in order to show the ones you love how important they are to you. 

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY 

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