I feel like I just got back in the swing in of blogging and now I have to take a hiatus because it is Finals month. I don't have any test to study for just a lot of work to finish off this semester and work to start preparing for my thesis, I will be writing next semester. So I kind of have to take a break from blogging. Sorry.
I know there is a lot going on but if you could pray for my stress level. As much as school should be my only my focus, I feel I have a lot on my plate for one I have to find a new place to live for the fall and some other personal stuff I am trying to juggle. Also pray for my focus to finish this semester hopefully with no all nighters.
As busy as I am, I am eagerly looking forward to going to Denver to see my sister, H and E.
I have been Jane Austen fan for over 11 years. I can't say if it started when I actually read the books on my own or when I finally enjoyed all 5 hours of the BBC Pride and Prejudice and falling head over heels for Collin Firth. Needless to say Jane Austen has filled a great majority of my life. In high school though I felt I was the only girl my age who read Jane Austen and it was a little lonely being in love with characters that existed only in books. So when I started meeting girls in college I probably got overly excited to share my love with others. I am also happy when new movies or books help people discover the awesomeness of Jane. So yes I have read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies... and I would actually recommend it. But the thing I love most about Jane is that while her stories are great as period drama's to watch on a rainy day with a cup tea, her stories are so universal they can be updated and still be relevant to today. My favorite modern adaptations have been Bridget Jones' Diary, Clueless (an adaptation of Emma) and Bride and Prejudice.
While I can watch these movies over and over I have lately become obsessed with the Lizzie Bennet Diaries. In short they are vlogs (video blogs) retelling of a modern Pride and Prejudice. But they are also so much more with multiple layers of communication through Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr. And like every good Jane Austen update they capture your heart.
Ep.1
Not only do you hear the story from Lizzie's point of view you all get to watch the Lydia drama unfold.
And you get to watch Gigi and Darcy save the day.
These are just the first episodes from the three intertwining story lines... that come into use at different times to tell the complete story line of Pride and Prejudice.
If you have read the novel or seen any of the movies you know the plot, and if you love the book or the movies you might be skeptical about a modern update on a classic. Well let me just say I was there. I love Jane and sometimes I feel Hollywood does not do her justice. So I was skeptical when YouTube kept suggesting I watch these videos. But after catching up and watching about 50 episodes in a weekend I was addicted and then in Episode 60 we FINALLY get to meet Darcy.
Seriously they did good with the casting of Darcy. Though Colin Firth, will always be THE MR. DARCY... I think the actor Daniel Gordh does a wonderful job being Darcy.
I will always love the British accent but thanks to this retelling I also love the Newies cap and bow tie (I know it might be a bit hipster... but I cannot help it).
If Tumblr and Facebook can be trusted I hear there is word that Emma might also become a vlog... oh I can't wait to see who will be cast as Mr. Knightley. He is another favorite Jane Austen hero of mine.
from Emma
I do not think Jane could have ever realized what an impact she has made on the world. And how her six novels could forever be causing ripples through the lives of her readers.
Now, I must move on with my day. Thanks for reading my nonsensical post.
P.S. Thanks YouTube for knowing what I would like. And a specially big thanks to my friend who shares my obsession with Jane Austen... you always make me smile.
I have just finished my 3 part blog posting on "Not Forsaken". If you have not read them I hope you will because otherwise this letter will not make a lot of sense. At the bottom of the 3rd post I wrote about how my friend keeps telling of me of a mountain that when God has something he wants to teach us and we ignore Him we will circle around a mountain but never actually able to climb it. As beautiful as I think mountains are I have never been an outdoorsy person. So I apologize ahead of time if I lose the analogy. Anyway, the idea of this mountain and circling around it comes from the Old Testament, the story of the Israelite's and their wandering through the desert as they wait to enter the promise land. (Sorry I am also not a big Old Testament scholar so forgive me if I miss quote something). But the Israelite's are lead out of Egypt (and their slavery) by Moses and Aaron and very soon after entering the desert they begin to complain and grumble about how God has abandon them. First they decide to build an altar and make an idol and say that Baal (the golden calf) brought them out of the Egypt. Then at one time they want to return back to Egypt and go back to their harsh life of slavery as they think it will be better than their lives in the desert with God. Because they are not following God they are left to wander the desert. But God has not abandoned them. It is written that a cloud of smoke by day and fire by night lead them (Deuteronomy 1:32,33). Even with having God's presence they still grumble and did not always trust in God. Before I go criticizing the Israelites I should stop, how many time have I grumbled and not trusted God? And so many times when I read the Old Testament I realize I am much like the Isrealites. I may not have God's presence like a cloud of smoke but I definitely have God's presence in my life. So let me move on...
As I was working on my 3 post for "Not forsaken" and reflecting on all my post I have already written I discovered something. As much as I write about hope... I still don't know what it means to hope in the Lord and in that I don't know what it means to truly trust in the Lord. I know to trust in the Lord in the grand scheme of things. I know that the Lord has a perfect plan for me and in that I trust. I also know when I try to take control over my life it feels like it falls apart. But on a day to day basis, I don't know what it means to Trust in the Lord, so I keep circling this mountain.
I will admit that I have a fear of not being "good enough." So sometimes I feel I have to watch every step to make sure I am being "perfect" (even though I know perfection cannot be reached). I fear that I am not "good enough" people will see me as the wreck (I feel I often am) and they will stop loving me. So when I think things are going bad in my life, I try to take control in the situation, and fix myself. Though when I try to take control of the situation I slip, I fall and world seems even worse off than when I started. I know it is because I have pushed God away because I want control. So I go around the mountain again. I feel this is a constant pattern in my life. But I am going to change it... so I can go up the mountain and experience all of God's goodness and grace.
As I said I am not an outdoorsy person so I don't really know how to climb a mountain. In fact the last time I climbed a mountain was almost 6 years ago and there was a marked path and I had a group of friends and leaders. While I have no marked path here, I know I have God. I have friends and I have lots of people who speak great truth in my life.
As I was writing my Not Forsaken blog post I was reminded of some other post I feel I have written on much the same topic. So I wanted to high light them because faith is a constant journey. Pictures and previews below...Happy Reading!
A few hours ago I got back from a wonderful retreat and I come back with one BIG take away. I have written many times on this blog that I have wanted to be a wife and mother but that feels very far away from distant from me. For awhile I walked around a little depressed because I thought if that is the purpose of my life why is it not happening. Then I wondered is this really God's desire? So I began praying "Lord please change my desires if they are not yours" quickly followed by "but I really want to be a wife and mother." Up until this weekend I thought this was a good prayer. I mean I couldn't lie to God and pretend that I didn't want my desires but I knew His desires were more important so I thought this prayer was a good compromise.
I know that verse is used a lot. At first reading it should seem like that God should give you whatever you desire/want. So many times we do not get what we want. Does that mean this verse is a lie? No. I think this verse tells us there is a process (a process I am still learning). You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart- Jeremiah 29:13. The most important part in these verses is the Lord. When we seek God with all our hearts, we will find God. When we delight ourselves in the Lord that is when we get the desires of our hearts. Often times I pray "I want this and I want that" and when I don't get I give up and usually pout and complain. That is not where prayer should stop.
Hope is an interesting word. In church and in the bible we are told to hope in the Lord. I have long to struggled with the idea what this idea truly means. When I was in my most serious relationship I knew what it was like to hope in our relationship and hoped that one day we would get marry. But that did not work out and when we broke up I felt like I had lost all hope.
I have been going through a study in the Bible on the word hope. Before this study I knew what it was like to hope for a good grade; I knew what it was like to hope for/in a relationship; but I never knew what it meant to "Hope in the Lord" (a phrase often used in church). I got to hear my friend talk about what she was going through and she said the phrase "God wants our best in life so we don't need to fear that things will work out." Our best does not mean financial prosperity or happiness all the time but it does mean God's will being done perfectly through us. From the time she mentioned that to now (and on going) my perspective on the word HOPE has changed. More on this in my Hope is an Act of Waiting post. During my quiet time my study came across this scripture...
But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,
I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me
You know it is interesting. My friend keeps talking about how when God is trying to to teach us something and we ignore Him, He will let us have our own way for awhile (a month, a year, tens years, whatever) but we will keep circling the mountain. We will go around the mountain and we won't really be able to climb up the mountain and experience all his greatness... I think this my mountain. Hope is my mountain. I have written about hope and the future so much but I have yet to grasp what it really means to Hope in the Lord. I keep underestimating his grace and what He has in store for my. I can see my mountain now I just need to learn how to climb it.
In my post "A thought for Thursday" I wrote "And the roads to get up those mountains are loopy and sometimes you may not be able to see where you are going. But isn't that what makes life fun... the unknown?" I am not so good at embracing the unknown and right now I feel my life is a lot of unknowns. And not to sound all preachy, but I know God is here to take me through all the valleys and hill tops and He has promised never to forsake me.
