A page from my diary

Found at Pinterst

I am writing probably more honestly about my emotions then I have ever written.

But I can't keep it bottled up inside any more.

I am burnt out.

Yes, I am juggling going to school and working a full time job,

which is wearing me out

but if that was all I could trudge through to winter break and rest then

but it's not.

In my life I have wanted to be many things

but my heart has only wanted to be two things

a wife and a mother.

I have placed so much time and energy thinking and dreaming about those two things

I lose my focus.

But right now I am no where those goals.

In fact they feel so far away from me that they might as well be in California.



Found at Pinterst

And I don't know what to do...

in fact I feel lost.

I feel all around me that people are getting the things I want

and as happy as I am

I wonder why not me?

I feel this lacking on my life drains me

like little drips from a leaky sink

Found at Flickr

I know, I know

you are going to tell me to "find my identity in Christ"

but is that it, is that all you have to say.

That's not enough.

What does it mean?

What do I do with that answer?

I feel like my pain was just pushed aside.

I need to know what that means, and how to do it.

I am not looking for rules or an A+B equation

just something that gives me more insight in to where I am to go from here.

Because right now I feel I have lost my way,

lost my path,

and my plan.

And I am not for sure where to go.

Thanks for reading.