 |
| {pic} |
Hello lovely readers,
I started writing this post when I got back from Honduras but I never felt it was finished/complete.
As most of you know I took a break from blogging most of the summer. Though nothing huge happened to cause this push, this summer has really made me change my thoughts on my life, faith, and what I see as important. Over the summer I have been really been pushed in my spiritual life.
My friend went through pretty big changes in her life over the summer I got to watch these changes from the sideline and I was also talking to her by what was going on not just on the outside but on the inside. Over this summer she had a passion for God that I had never seen and to be honest I was a little envious of her, in the best since of course, but I really wanted that.
I have been going through a study in the Bible on the word hope. Before this study I knew what it was like to hope for a good grade; I knew what it was like to hope for/in a relationship; but I never knew what it meant to "Hope in the Lord" (a phrase often used in church). I got to hear my friend talk about what she was going through and she said the phrase "God wants our best in life so we don't need to fear that things will work out." Our best does not mean financial prosperity or happiness all the time but it does mean God's will being done perfectly through us. From the time she mentioned that to now (and on going) my perspective on the word HOPE has changed. More on this in my Hope is an Act of Waiting post. During my quiet time my study came across this scripture...
But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,
I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me
heavenward in Christ Jesus.
-Philippians 3:13b-14 (NIV, 1984)
While this verse doesn't mention the word hope the footnote was full of hope. "We all have done things for which we are ashamed, and we live in the tension of what we have been and what to be. Because our hope is in Christ, we can let go of past guilt and look forward to what God will help us become... Realize that you are forgiven, and then move on to a life of faith and obedience. Look forward to a fuller and more meaningful life because of your hope in Christ" (Life Application Study Bible NIV). I loved this footnote and how freeing it was. I know for me personally that I carry around my past mistakes so much and in my mind I demote myself in value. God doesn't call us to that lifestyle. God wants us to live a life that is fully in Him.
Then I went to Honduras. Before I went to Honduras I had this weird/cool moment of peace about the fact that I could potentially die and I was okay with that. My younger sister once told me she wanted to die a martyr for a long time I thought that was a crazy idea. But after this moment in my life I think it would be cool to die standing up for my faith. Honduras was an amazing experience and I can't wait to go back.
My post on Honduras...
Honduras wasn't the mountain top experience I was wanting. However, it did change my thinking and through that I want to make some changes in my life. But I wasn't sure what to really change and to be honest I was scared of change. So I told myself I would take any drastic changes until I really thought things through.
Well guess what... life got in the way and I didn't really do any deep thinking. But some really harsh realities hit me. One was my budget. My budget smacked me once this summer, when I realized how much money I was spending willy-nilly and not thinking about it. So I worked on my budget, but after coming back from Honduras--not getting paid for a week--really made me see how tight my budget is. So one thing I had to get rid of was my nice data plan smart phone mostly because I couldn't afford it and I also wanted to simplify my life. I had gone a week with out a phone and I survived, surely I would survive with out Facebook and email on my phone. I am here to say you can survive not having data plans. I am still working on really watching my spending, not to stress me out, but to keep things in control.*
I am in general going to try to cut back on the technology in my life. For me that really limits how much TV I watch. I liked TV as back ground noise but I realize how distracting it was in my life. In Honduras and on a woman's retreat I went on, I got so much reading done; I prayed so much; and I felt calmer. I am listening to music more and I added more Christian music to my playlist, just as little reminders through my day.*
The next big challenge in my faith came when I went on Women's retreat. I was challenged with how much I hold on to my own desires for my life. While I think it is good to have goals, dreams, and aspirations in your life and I believe God wants you to have them too. I was holding on too much. I was saying "I want what God desires in my life but I really want what I want." I have now realized I have to let go of that but. I have to say "I want what God desires." Now I am working on getting my heart and mind to also let go of my desires and really focus on what God desires. Only then will I truly feel complete in God. (I don't have this down pat, just know what I long for.) More on this on my "Letting Go of the 'but'" post. 
I was talking about this to my friend, mentioned above, and how I desired the closeness she had with God. She said "I am going to say something you are going to hate?" I asked what it was. She then challenged me with waking up early and doing my quiet time first thing in the morning. She knows I am NOT a morning person, I mean I think 9 AM is too early sometimes. But she referred to the verses about seeking God in the morning. She knows waking up early in the morning will definitely be a sacrifice for me and thinks God will reward me for my sacrifice. She has found having her quiet time first in the morning very rewarding for her relationship with God. Since I am desiring a closeness with God, I am working on waking up early to seek after God. I still love my snooze button but I love God more so I am pursing this path. Not going to lie these early mornings are only made possible with a good cup of coffee.
 |
| {pic} |
After typing this somewhat long post I realized it will never be complete because this is just one section of my life and my life is not finished or complete. I will still be editing things a long the way and that is okay. I am still working on ALL these things and I hope you stay around to read this on going part in my journey.
*- The paragraphs are just written to tell you how I have changed, they are not written for conviction sake.
No comments:
Post a Comment