Baking Blaire

I dedicate this post to my roommate.

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As much as I pretend to one day be a baker... I don't bake, which is sad because I have a pinterest board dedicated to all the things I would like to make. I call it "Culinary School here I come". But I am not really a baker a good example of this I bought a cake mix box and it said 3 tablespoons of oil, I had to call my step-mom to ask what kind of oil they meant... I mean a baker doesn't have to ask they just know. 

Sometimes this is how I feel about cooking/baking...

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Any way the reason I am baking and the reason I dedicate this post to my roommate is because I have eggs in the house. If you know me, you know I HATE eggs, so I never buy them, but my roommate who has gone back home for 3 weeks left me eggs and told me I should use them... great what am I going to do with eggs,  I thought, then I thought "oooohhhh I can bake". So I went to my grocery store after work and grabbed a coffee cake mix box. (I guess a baker wouldn't grab a cake mix box.) But at the bottom of the normal recipe there was a recipe for "Cinnamon Apple Snack Cake" well I did my own twist to that 1 on accident but 3 on purpose.

pre-baking getting ingredients 

1 package of Pillsbury® Quick Bread Cinnamon Swirl

1/2 cup sour cream- accident 1 didn't see that this was an ingredient until I was mixing so I use 3 table spoons of oil that original recipe called for.

1/3 cup of water.

2 eggs

1 cup apple, peeled, chopped- twist I am not a big apple fan... I mean I didn't even like apple pie till  a few years ago so I used pears. (I love pears)

1/2 cup chopped nuts...twist- I still had pecans from my Pecan Pies so I used those. 

Twist- Also I really loved cinnamon so I used some scattered on top of the first layer. 

So here I go baking. I don't want to break any laws so I am not going to post all the instructions but they are on the box. 

1. Pour about 1/2 of cake batter ( about 1 1/4 cups) for me it was a little bit more.

2. Sprinkle the cup of the chopped pears. 

3.Sprinkle the chopped nut. Since I used pecans I didn't need to chop them pecans easily break apart, so don't waste time on the cutting board with them... it makes a bigger mess.

4. My Twist- Shake some Cinnamon on top of the pears and pecans.

5. Sprinkle 3/4 of the crumble on top of all this.

6. Pour rest of cake batter on top of all of this. Spread carefully to cover.

7. Sprinkle rest of crumble and pecans on top.

8. Bake at 350°F for 50 to 60 minutes. I have a really small oven and it cooks quicker than recipes usually state so I cooked it for only 45 minutes. While this was baking I cleaned my dishes, and worked on this post. 

Fresh out of the oven

9. Cool completely in pan. So I sit and wait more... you have to really be dedicated to bake. 

Sorry I forgot to take picture of it before I cut into it... I got hungry. And I must say it was a good piece though they could have put more icing in the packet.

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Well that is all for my baking this time... since I still have a few more weeks before summer school maybe I will bake other things.

Side Note: have a good play list going as you are baking.

Writer's Feelings

I love reading blogs on writing... so here is my Friday's Feature for this week.

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Last year when I picked up blogging again the first blogger I came across was Sarah now at Well and Cheaply her blog inspired me to be a better blogger. So I think it is only appropriate to feature her this week. In her post "I'm a writer" she writes about the guilt she faces for not being a published writer.

So, I haven't actually talked about the fact that I'm a writer on this blog yet.  And while I like to consider this a "lifestyle blog," which sort of gives me the freedom to write about whatever the hell I want, I also hope for this space to be a writer's blog.  Before I start talking about my writing here though, I have something else I'm afraid to tell you:

The other day, my mom was asking me about my writing in a completely supportive and interested way.  And I just didn't want to talk about it.  Finally, she said, "why are you acting defensive?  Is it the question's I'm asking?"  And I couldn't answer her.  I knew she was right, I knew I was acting defensive and yet, why?

The conversation stuck in my head for a long time, and I was trying to figure out what was going on.  I think that I've come to a place where my relationship with writing -while I'm very passionate about it, is steeped in guilt and shame.  All of this guilt and shame has to do with not being published.  And I think I spend my time telling myself that I don't really feel this way.  And yet, when my mom asks me about my writing I get defensive because if I really let my guard down, I know I'd just start crying.

To read more click here

Since she came out about her guilt for not being published. I will come out about my feelings about writing. I feel ashamed about my writing. I have been writing stories since I was a little girl, I can't remember when I wasn't writing. But the truth is as much as I envision myself as a writer more specifically a novelist I have never finished a story. All my life I have filled notebooks maybe half way through then got inspired by another idea and I would drop the notebook and move onto another story. I think when I was in high school my mom got fed up with all these notebooks and started throwing them away (rightly so). Because I have never finished a story, I don't really come out and tell people I am a writer, it takes me awhile to feel comfortable with them to let them know that my passion in life is writing. Writing is a very vulnerable process for me, as I am sure it is with most writers, my stories are my own little world and letting some one in that space is very hard for me.

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For a long time I would write stories and never let anyone read them. I was embarrassed by my horrible spelling skills and grammar is hard for me as well. How can I be a writer if I can't spell or even properly construct a sentence? 

I guess I am also embarrassed by my writings. They are definitely written from a hopeful romantic perspective, who idealizes the past and wishes that first loves would be life time loves. I guess my writings always seemed a little silly or foolish in the world of serious literature but this is the world I escape to. It is my happy place, I guess if I was to put a picture to my happy place this would be it...

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But if I didn't write I think I would feel a void. With this blog and all the love and support I have gotten through writing it I am more willing to let people into my world. Though sometimes it is hard to let people in so sorry if I don't come right out and share my passion with you.   

Right now I am really pushing myself to finish my current story even if it never gets published I want to say I finished writing a story The Sisters of Pine Haven. 

I saw this on Pinterest and thought it was good inspiration to end this post...

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Writing Wednesday

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"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed."

-Hemingway

I got to a part in my story where I couldn't think of where to go next. I mean I knew what I wanted to say but I couldn't think of how to write it. In order to get inspiration I read back through what I had already written. One thing I noticed was that I left out some words, one time I used the word "hose" when I meant to write "host" and in my post Afternoon Tea  I realized I totally copied and pasted wrong from my word document. First I am sorry readers for this mistake. If you go to that post now it is all set up properly. Tonight I got through 3 post out of the 25 written for my blog is Sisters of Pine Haven but I will get through some more over the coming weeks before summer classes start. 

Here is a preview of the updated Afternoon Tea...

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It was in these woods Miss Pembers knew to look for Emmy when the household was expecting Mrs. Melbourne and her eligible son Mr. Melbourne for tea. 

“Miss Emmy you have been outside long enough it is time for tea and your mother insist you come outside.” 

“I don’t want to be involved in anything where Laurel throws herself at the boring man Mr. Melbourne is.” 

“I seriously doubt Miss Laurel will throw herself at anyone, it would be in-proper and your sister has a higher sense of propriety then anyone I know. Now come or I shall send Helena to get you.” 

Helena was Grandma Danford’s cook who had no problem disciplining the girls into good behavior with a wooden spoon, Emmy suffered the worst for it. She was hardly the a model of good behavior from her unkempt hair, dirty finger nails and stockings sometimes covered in mud. Mother would only allow Helena to give Emmy one or two hits but Emmy still felt the blows to be fatal. With the threat of Helena’s wooden spoon Emmy climbed down from her rock and dusted herself off before presenting herself to Miss Pembers. 

“And where are your shoes.”

“One can hardly climb with those little boots on, I would slip and break my neck.”

“Your Grandmother would break your neck knowing you walked outside barefoot. It is a good thing you have yet to wear long dresses you would ruin all of the with your childish ways.”

“I am not a child.”

“Well you are certainly not acting like a girl of sixteen. Playing in the woods, day dreaming and losing yourself in your world of make believe.”

“I like my world it is more interesting then this world.”

“Hush your mouth. You have all beauty and luxury around you. You are lucky to have such a fortunate family. There are girls in orphanages who dream of having what you have.”

Emmy wanted to remind Miss Pembers that none of the beauty and luxury was hers to do with what she would. If it was she would sale everything and explore the world. It all belonged to her Grandma and then it would go to uncle and the girls would receive nothing. She wanted to remind Miss Pembers of all that but know when Miss Pembers let her Irish accent slop she was about to let her hot temp out. So Emmy kept her mouth shut.

Click here to read more

Happy Graduation

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For all my friend's who are graduating here are some songs to celebrate your accomplishment.

The 2000 classic Vitamin C song  Graduation (friend's forever)

Now pour a drink and dance around you have worked hard. 

Kool and the Gang- Celebrate 

Black Eye Peas- I got a feeling

Have fun celebrating!

Can't wait till I can join your graduated ranks.