Showing posts with label grad-school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grad-school. Show all posts

Monday, April 20, 2015

A litte updating

 Hello lovely readers,

I know it has been awhile since I have updated this blog about my life. Sorry about that, there seems to be a lot happening all at once. The biggest news is I have got a full time job. If you have been following my blog (or life) you know that I have been going to graduate school for my masters in history and library science. Since October I was working part time for a start up company doing research on mergers and acquisitions. Yes it is not what I studied in school and my dad teasing me about when I am going to go for my MBA. I joke back and say "I won't say never but not in the foreseeable future." I have been learning a lot and I am glad to have a full time job.

My nephew.
In other news I am happy to announce my newest nephew... I have not met him in person but I plan to see him over the summer and he can expect a lot of kisses. Thus far I have only enjoyed seeing in him on FaceTime and he has captured my heart like my other niece and nephews.

Besides the trip to meet my nephew I am looking forward to my first trip to Paris with my mom in May. My mom and I have been planning this trip for years --I am sorry to my friends who I have been talking about it a lot-- we even have a Pinterest board dedicated to our trip (though I will admit most of the board is full of pics of the Eiffel Tower and desserts I want to eat).

Also I am happy to announce that Spring has finally come to Boston. If you have been following the news you know that Boston was buried under a record snow fall this winter, and the thought of Spring seemed so distant from all us. Now the snow has melted away and there seems to be a refreshing newness to the world around us. 

In spite of this, this week seems to have a cloud over it. Here in Boston we remembered the second anniversary of the Boston Marathon bombing and in my heart I remember the Oklahoma City bombing. On the 19th, it has been twenty years since then. It is hard to think that both my home town and my new home have been rocked by destruction. But I like to think of the strength that has grown from these horrible events. I know I did not lose loved one in these events and I was not injured, but I think events like these can make us scared or they can inspire us and make us remember life is fragile and beautiful.

Monday, March 23, 2015

Timid or Playing it Safe pt.2

Hello Lovely Readers,

It has been over 3 years since I wrote the "Timid or Playing it Safe?" And that was about relationships. But I still question am I being timid?

Last year I thought about going on Missions and one of the countries that was a possibility was Tunisia. But things came up 1) I didn't graduate in May and so I couldn't leave move over seas in September and 2) I got lost my passion for it and I reconsidered going. In a way I forgot about it and completed my thesis and have now graduated school.

With the recent violence in Tunisia my heart has been re-awaken to this country. On the one hand I am happy not to be there because I know my mom and family would be anxious for me. However on the other hand I would want to be there to experience it and be able God's love there in this time of turmoil.

Lately I have come to realized that sometimes I play it too safe. I honestly feel trapped between what I want to do and the the things I have to do. Some one asked me "what would you do if you broke out of your comfort zone?" I thought, I like to travel, I like to write, and help people. How can I can take these passions and actually make a difference?

I don't have an answer to that question. But that is my life right now and I will continue to pray about it. One thing I know for sure is I have to trust God more to work through my timidity.

Thanks for reading this short post as I continue to work things out.
Please answer in the comments below "what would you do if you broke out of your comfort zone?"

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Happy belated New Years... time to move on.

 Happy New Years!

Sorry I am writing that a bit late... but better late than never right?

That is Benedict Cumberbatch in the background.
I have been on visiting family for Christmas and I have not looked at my computer. I went to Oklahoma to see my Dad's family and for a few days there were 5 children under 5... needles to say it very chaotic and loud at points but also wonderful. Then I went to visit my mom's house (in Southern California) and enjoyed some relaxation and sun. I also got to attend the Palm Springs International Film Gala (and thanks to my step-dad's connections got to stand with the press and see some stars up close)...probably the highlight of 2015. Besides Benedict Cumberbatch, I got to see Allen Leech (Tom Branson from Downton), Eddie Redmayne (Les Mis, Theory of Everything), Reese Witherspoon, Steve Carell, Patrick Stewart, Julianne Moore and many others. It was a great I hope to never forget.
Left to right: Patrick Stewart, Eddie Redmayne, Allen Leech, Reese Witherspoon
Steve Carell. 
But now I am back in cold Boston. I am done with grad school (odd to say and realize) and will have to soon face the reality of looking for a real "adult" job... However, there are some things I would like to accomplish in 2015. In my "looking back thinking ahead" post I wrote I want to:

"1) Invest or re-invest in the friendships I have"... Last semester I was felt very isolated, I mean minus my roommate and cat I really didn't feel to be connected to anyone. I haven't gone to community group (or Bible study) in months and I think that drained me a bit. I tried to keep up with friends but it was an effort and I didn't like the feeling of "scheduling" fun time. But I had too.

Pics from night of celebrating... in December
So happy to celebrate end of thesis
"2)Work on transforming my mind in order to understand God's purpose in my life"... I am not sure how I am going to this. I think going back to Bible study will help, even just to pull me out of thinking only about myself. Also making quiet time a priority... I usually do it first thing in the morning while enjoying a cup of coffee but sometimes I feel it makes little impact on the rest of my day.

At church on Sunday we are going through a series called Fray about about how our lives have been torn because of our separation from God. It also has a little bit of typical New Years Resolution. For example last week they talked about "diets and health" but how we make we can make the strive for dieting and health our idol (I missed that week but I got the gist). This week had been about relationships and how we have gotten distracted from what we really matter. I know I fall pray to this A LOT. Beyond relationships I say I want to write more but after work I come home and I watch mindless television. I keep saying I want to change but I feel stuck a lot of the time... I don't think it has to do with just being done with grad-school.

I have noticed in my life that sometimes when things come along that are challenging instead of taking on the challenge I just give up. I know my mom will read this and remind me that I have written a thesis, moved across country, and other things. And I know those details too but sometimes I feel I give up to easily. I mean I can't ride a bike because it was too hard to ride without training wheels and not that is a huge regret but I feel sometime scared by other moments and other situations I have walked away from because they are just too hard and I sit back and think if I had just tried a little harder would things have been differently? I know lots of people sit back and reflect on their lives and see if there was a point in which things could have changed, especially at this time of the year when we have the whole year in front of us to make changes, to set goals, to feel we can accomplish things we didn't do last year.

One thing my pastor said is a lot of times we tell ourselves "when I do this then I can do this" the example he gave is "when I graduate then I will be able to do ___(fill in blank)___." I have probably said this more than a few times even if not out loud. I have written here that have felt stuck in grad-school waiting for my life to begin. Well now it can begin. Not only is this a new year it is a new time in my life. I don't have to keep putting my life on hold because of school and it feels awesome. I want to do things with my life... I want to begin on making a difference in the world around me. I am not for sure what that looks like, I have though about doing some volunteer work or something. I just know I don't want to be writing a post on Jan. 13, 2016 looking back with regrets wishing I had done something, or wishing I hadn't said that thing I said. I want my 2015 to mean something.

So there you go that is my resolution for 2015, for it to mean something. I will keep you posted on the journey.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Looking Back, Thinking Ahead

Done with my thesis 

Hello lovely readers,

It is Christmas time and I feel this a curious time of year, at least for me. It is a time of reflecting about the year that shortly ending and it is a time that we are preparing for the year to come. 

Looking back at this year I feel this year has been filled a lot with my thesis...and maybe thats how it should have been but lately I have felt I spent so much energy, so much time, and devotion to it that I kind of lost focus on what the most important things are in my life. On mentally preparing this post I began to look through my photos (on Facebook) to remember all that has happened over this year. Some of the highlights have been getting to spend so much time with my family; I spent some time with my family in May, August, October and just recently when my parents came up here to see me present my thesis. If you don't know I live in Boston and my family lives all over so I usually see them only twice a year (minus skype dates) so I feel that has been really neat this year. Another highlight this year has been moving in with my current roommate and friend. Last year (until end of August) it was a struggle with my apartment. I never felt like my last place was home. Moving into my new place has felt like home the moment I started unpacking my boxes.
with niece and nephew in May

So as I began to think about 2014 and everything that happened, there have some parts of it I wish I could put behind me and never think about them again, but I know those moments have shaped me. And instead of looking at them with regret I am going to try to give them over to God and let him use them as moments of development. While 2014 has been a mix of both of ups and downs (as years are) it is what 2015 brings that I am most interested in.

Lately, I have been praying a lot to hear God's voice to feel his guidance but in reality I have felt distant from God. I know He is with me and He is the hope I have anchored my life to. Hebrews 10:23- Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful- has been a verse I have had to repeat to myself a lot through the year. I think it is more true lately as I am coming to terms with the fact I am done with school.

Birthday celebrations 

For 23 some odd years, I have been a student and I have almost placed my identity in the fact I am a student. Especially in undergrad and grad school my life has been about the next homework assignment, the next chapter to read, and the next paper to write. In grad school I felt life was on hold until I finished school and sometimes I felt angry I couldn't do things because I was in school.

I have been praying for God to use me in such a way that I would make an impact in this world for Him.  I have also been praying to hear God's voice and feel His guidance.  But I have felt stuck and sometimes useless. I am not blaming Him for this... actually I am holding myself responsible. Because I know I have filled my life with clutter, I sought fulfillment from temporary things. So one thing I really hope for 2015 that He prune and cut things out of my life that are not from Him. This is going to take work on my end, because it is easy for me to turn on the TV, go on Facebook or Pinterest, listen to Spotify and block Him out. But I don't want to do that anymore.
Being a bride's maid in my friends wedding, in July.
On Monday I prayed:
Lord I pray you lead me. Lord there are so many big questions on my mind now. What do I do for a job? Where do I go from here? Lord I need your guidance with these questions. Lord, you are the only one that makes my life make sense and I pray oh Lord I pray you lead me on. 

Then on Tuesday morning I read the passage: 

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -- his good, pleasing and perfect will. -Romans 12:2. 

Visiting my sister's family in August...
Sadly my nephew was in the hospital.
With nephew in hospital I got to spend a lot
of time with niece... blessing in disguise 
These things may not seem immediately linked but they are in my mind. I think one thing I really need in upcoming year is to renew my mind and heart in God. In that I believe I will be able to truly know what God wants from me. However, I have no idea what that looks like. 

Over the fall my church went through a series called "Resistance" and it was about remembering why we have the Sabbath, a time of rest, a time of remembering what is important to us, and a time to remember what God has done for us, I think over the last year and especially this last fall I have kind of forgotten that.  I say my faith, my friends and family are the most important things in my life... but I felt distant from those things. I have felt very much like I have been drifting through life, not really making connections. So, another thing I would like in 2015 is to really invest or reinvest in things that are important to me. 

Here I want to say I am sorry to anyone that I was not there for over the last year...even if you understood why I am sorry I got so blocked by other things I could not see what was important. 

Fancy night with roommate. 
On the job front I will take my time to figure things out. Fortunately this year I have been blessed with two part time jobs that have really been relief when I have been stressed about money. I think it is important right now to get things worked out in my relationship with God... so I am not going to dwell on that.

I am thankful for this year I have had the support system (friends and family) that I have had. I don't know how I would have been able to get through the struggles I have gone through... and I promise I will not forget it.

I am excited to see what 2015 has in store for me and I am already starting to shape my New Year's resolutions.

1. Invest or re-invest in the relationships I have
2. Work on transforming my mind in order to understand God's purpose for my life.

Those are 2 pretty big things so I will leave it at that for now... if I fail I will (with God) pick back up and try again.

There are other things I am looking forward to as well in 2015.

1. My sister and brother-in-law are expecting their third baby... from the pics above you can see they make cuties so I am excited for this new little one. 
their birth announcement.
2. My mom and I have been dreaming about and plotting a trip to Paris and now done with school, we have been planning one for May. 
Mom and I from recent trip to Boston 
3. Also I have been thinking about going on another short-term missions trip. I remember how impacting my trip to Honduras was and my church does a trip to the Dominican Republic every year and watching the videos of the trips have made me want to go.
4. I am also looking forward to getting back into doing some of my own fun writing. Though I might be writing more with pen and paper than typing... my eyes are getting tired looking at word document. 

"Mary did you know"-Pentatonix
This has been my favorite song this year. 

Merry Christmas!

Monday, November 3, 2014

Little update


I am taking a break from my thesis (just a few minutes)... I can't really take a break my rough draft is due before I go to bed on Nov. 9th. Sadly besides the progress of my thesis I don't have much to update with, but I have this week off from work to get the remaining three sections of my thesis done. Then my thesis advisor has told me once I have submitted it not to think about it until she hands it back to me. As much as I am looking forward to that time I wonder if I can really do that.

Outside of my thesis I am still reading through the Harry Potter series. I am on the fourth book. The first one was hard for me only because I couldn't really visualize anything. However, this book really feels more like escapism than the books. While the first two really introduced me to the characters and the world of Hogwarts I feel Prisoner of Azkaban  and this book have really developed the characters. Also this one feels much more like literature than a kid book (no offense). But sometimes I will admit I get a bit lost in all the characters. I think I have asked my roommate a few times if Peeves is a ghost.

Also, over the weekend I got a real itch to do more creative writing. I found this great pin and I could totally see Shane saying that to Daphne.
"Do you like the person you've become"
Then I saw this writing prompt pin...

and I thought I could do a quick free write with it. But I just stared blankly at the computer, not able to think how I would fill in the blanks and not sure what I would write. Though I wanted to write I couldn't. My mind feels like such a haze. To remedy my desire to write I did take some time typing up part of my story I had already hand written (that felt like such a release). Now I want share part of it with you....

For this part of the story Mattie is upset at her mother and runs to the back woods where she finds Kelby.
"Lady Mathilda, I like the sound of that." He made her giggle. "I am glad to see you smile again."
"Thank you Kelby."
Example of a temple
At that moment they heard the over cast sky give a little grumble and the pale gray sky was now presenting them a summer shower. Kelby without thinking took Mattie's hand and lead them to the Temple of Diana. It wasn't really temple just a folly, much in the style of other Grecian temples that had been popular throughout the eighteenth century. It was the best place to wait out the summer storm. Even though it was the closest structure to the backwoods they were still soaked causing a shiver over her whole body. Kelby saw her shiver and pulled her close into his arms and held her there. Mattie couldn't remember any man outside of Marcus who had ever hugged her.

           "Come let's get you warm," he said once the rain stopped.
            "Oh Kelby I do not want to go home. I cannot face her, not yet."

            "Miss Mathilda, one must never be afraid to face your fears." With that he took his thumb and brushed the hair that fallen in front of her face. "But, perhaps you need some tea to strengthen you up." And he gave her a little smile.

            She could not say what she was feeling, she was only thirteen and all she felt this way before. She had trembled when he touched her cheek but it didn't scare her it felt comforting.

            Mattie was so happy when he took her back in the way through Cranston Court.

I will admit that I was inspired by two scenes from Jane Austen films for this scene...The first one being the first proposal from Pride and Prejudice (2005). 
And the second one being from Northanger Abbey after Mr. Tilney and Catherine have been out riding and caught in the rain and he wipes a bit of mud off Catherine's face. It is such a simple action but it makes a big spark.
Okay back to the grind.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

From My Thesis Cave... Part 2

I am not sure how many parts of "from my thesis cave" there will be... I like to keep you guys (who ever is reading this) up to date on my life but right now my life feels like my thesis.

Right now I am feeling a little overwhelmed, I felt I was doing on my progress about thesis almost to the point of being cocky (sorry if I came off that way). Well I had a thesis advising meeting and she kind of told me I had done my historiography all wrong... BIG GULP! Well so let me get back to the drafting board. It is a set back but I am not going to let it get to me. I have changed into my yoga pants and flannel shirt (a frequent writing outfit), sipping on some tea, and taking a breath as I begin again. 

Any way, in this overwhelmed moment I thought it would be good to list things I am looking forward to once this thesis is over... 

1.Just being done will be so great- This thesis has kind of been a dark cloud hanging over me and once it is done I think I will just feel more free.
When this is true... it will feel so good
2. Watching mindless television. Is it sad that I am looking forward to this? I mean I do treat myself to episodes of Chuck and I watch some TV with my roommate but sometimes I feel guilty for not working on my thesis even when I am brain dead. 

3. Reading fun books. Another thing I do treat myself to... but mostly to keep my sanity in this time. But  I am looking forward to reading more book and at my own pace and not having to put down fun books because I have work to do.

4. Writing my story... As much as I would love work more on my story "The Grand Days" (working title) I feel I really have no energy for it. 

5. On a more serious note...I look forward to finding my passion. While I have been in school, especially more as I have been facing the end of school, I have felt a stirring that I am not living out on my faith. Looking back on the past few years the last time I felt truly passionate about something was when I was preparing to go to Honduras and doing Living Water work. I keep praying God to guide my steps and help me follow my faith (though I am not sure what that looks like). I would like the freedom to explore this idea more...Probably not full time ministries, but being open to trips and opportunities.  

In Honduras at the well sight

From outside thesis cave: When I was meeting with my advisor she said for my historiography (as analogy) "I need to stop eating the cookies and think about how they were made." I started laughing because it reminded me of the FRIENDS episode where Monica is trying to discover Phoebe's Grandmother's secret recipe of chocolate chip cookies. That is what a Historiography is... it breaks down past research, the way research was done, and how research on my topic has changed or progressed. 
That's all for now... back to thesis cave.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

From my thesis cave

They will make memes about anything
Academic Tim Gunn... who knew, right?

Hello lovely readers,

I feel my life right now is pretty much my thesis but I want to keep you guys updated with my life and my progress on my work... so sorry it might be kind of boring. But I have good things to share.

Going back to last spring, I was suppose to be working on my thesis. Well I kind of hit a wall. I wasn't really inspired to work so I put together a very sloppy outline and my adviser called me out on it. And after that I felt emotionally and mentally crippled and I hid in my bed watching the West Wing.
I love Charlie

In late spring or early summer I found a great resource that was a survey done in 1907-1909 about what working women were spending their money on. Well I dissected that but I felt like while I had was data and I wasn't sure what to do with it. With the push of another professor I took the information and started making patterns from the data I collected. Then when I discovered the most popular items, I started doing research on those particular items and what was said about them. I also found a few advice pamphlets and books about how working women should behave. I am using my survey and the advice literature to shape my thesis... I won't go into anymore as it might get boring.

A friend of mine just reminded me this week "that with PhDs and Masters, you get them done when you are ready"... well I am ready. Over the summer while I was doing a good junk of research I also started working on my outline. Well I had to go to my thesis adviser and get it approved. I felt very nervous about this because the last time I met with my adviser it didn't go so well, As I was walking up the stairs to the third floor (history department) my heart started racing and I had to take deep breaths.

I won't go over all the details of the meeting... but she totally approved of my outline and said it looked totally feasible and she gave me good questions to look into and explore more in my paper. Phew. She also said I am a little ahead of the game. YEAH!  I told her that I was doing a happy dance in my head.

So I am now working on my historiography essay, which is part of my introduction, but it discusses previous work done on this topic then I state why my research is important and the niche my thesis fills.

My happy moment of my week: I was in my school's coffee shop area and I sat down the novel I was reading and the girl next to me said "whoa that is a big book... what class is that for?" My response: "Its not, its just a novel I am reading for fun." Her eyes really widened.  It is only 660 pages (not that big) but I was happy to impress someone with my large books.

Also it is amazing after working on my thesis yesterday for about 6 hours how wonderful doing laundry is.

That is all for now... will keep you posted on other things in and outside my thesis cave (aka my room).
Who doesn't think of Benedict Cumberbatch doing this
when thinking of a happy dance

Friday, September 12, 2014

"Busy Nothings"

I love Period Dramas and I am so happy to find so many bloggers have a love for them too... probably my favorite thing about blog is that you can find a little community of other people who love the same things as you do.

Anyway, I was inspired by Miss Dashwood's post title "A Quick Succession of Busy Nothings" a line from Jane Austen's Mansfield Park. It seemed to be a fun way to tell her readers what is happening in her life. She said in her post that she doesn't update her readers much on what is happening with her life... Well that is not the same for me as for the most part I use this blog as an online journal but I liked her format so I am coping it. Though I have to change some of the topics as I don't sow or act.

So here we go my "Busy Nothings"...

~~Reading As school is starting I decided to end my "Summer Reading" list, but this does not mean I have stopped reading. I am currently reading two books (usually something I can't do well). One is The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis. And The Winding Road by Cynthia Harrod Eagles. This is apart of her Morland Dynasty series that have become addicted at least the ones about the Edwardian time period and WWI. This book is about 1920's and all the flash of the Jazz Age.
My favorite book of hers
Full of great descriptions of Edwardian Society
~~Listening I listen to a great a variety of things from Country (as long as its not to twangy), folk, some pop, musicals, and Christian. But lately I have been enjoying Mumford and Sons, All the Sons and Daughters, for King and Country, and Mercy Me. But my go to song has been "Arms" by Christina Perri. I fell in love with it when I saw a fan made video of Parks and Rec music video set to that song.
I know I have featured this video before but I still love it.

~~Decorating As I have said a lot on this blog... I have moved into my new apartment. And I am happy to say I feel very settled into this new place. Also I have wall in the living room that is very much my fashion wall. Fortunately my roommate and I have very similar taste or she doesn't mind my obsession with vintage fashion.
My wall
I am also going through and "re-decorating" my blog. I have changed the background and I have taken down my "good reads" section on the side and replaced it with some quotes. I had those "good read" books up for close to 2 years and I thought it was just time to mix things up...don't want this blog to get stale. Might do some other changes but essence of this blog will be the same.

~~Painting I have never been a big person to paint my nails... at least, it seemed like a hassle and painting my right hand looked like the work of Jackson Pollack. But after my friend's wedding, my nails looked so pretty I have tried to make more of an effort painting them.
Picture of Bridal party

Probably my favorite picture of the night... not because I am in the front
but because it was such a cute moment.

~~Watching probably too much TV. My new roommate has awesome cable... I haven't had this much cable since my dorm years and I must say it is addicting. Today I discovered Boy Meets World has reruns on MTV2.

~~Working work is work not much changes but I am trying to get my mind wrapped around the idea of finishing school and entering the "real world." Still not sure if library science is truly what I want to pursue... but right now I need to just focus on finishing school. Until I do enter the "real world" I am going to enjoy days to sleep in and naps.

~~Anticipating There is currently a lot I am anticipating... being done with Grad School (though that comes with a lot of angst as well as some good things). Lots of people look forward to fall but I am just enough as a pessimist to know fall means winter is coming and I hate winter (it last way too long) but I am looking forward to Pumpkin flavors everywhere. I think the one thing I am looking forward the most is my sister having another little nugget.
This was their announcement
I love being Aunt Blaire and so far my sister and brother-in-law have made cute kids so I am totally excited for this little one to come a long. 

~~Writing the answer should be obvious... my thesis, But as the next topic is "Studying" I will say I am writing my story The Grand Days (working title). I am doing a mix of both writing it and typing it up. I have never been one to stare at a blank screen and write creatively so I always have to hand write my stories. Then as they progress I start to type them up.

~~Studying As I have stated a few times. This semester I am writing my thesis. So I am learning a lot about working women's lives and their fashion at the turn of the 20th century. I am hoping to see how this liberated women before they got the vote. I wrote an undergraduate thesis and for that I wrote about the antebellum movement to get rid of the corset...which as you know was not successful. I was kind of hoping in this time I would find women throwing out their corsets but I haven't found much literature on that. But I have found a lot of literature on more and more women being in control of their own money and therefore found more freedom that way... that might be my approach.
A classic picture of a clerical worker

~~Reminders I love motivational quotes so I have a rather large pinterest board on them... but its probably time for me to start reading them
-John Green

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Feeling stuck....

I wish I looked this happy writing. Even when I love a story I get stuck and I have to step away and get some perspective, or find something that helps me with my inspiration. Mostly for this I turn to Pinterest. I collect many things on Pinterest from my love of Edwardian fashion, to beautiful country side landscapes, and my obsession with certain TV shows and movies. Sometime it is just filled with beautiful nature scenes. 

In my story The Grand Days I will admit I have gotten stuck. I am trying to write about Mattie's first time in London and all that she experiences. And while I have spent hours on pinterest looking up ideas I am not sure what I want to happen here.  So I need to step back and think things through. I think I want to develope Daphne a bit, develop her into a softer character. She has been rather harsh in the past.

One thing that has helped me in the past of getting unstuck is to spend lots of time typing up my story (as right now most of it is still hand written). Doing this somehow gives me focus on what my story is about and helps gives me insight into what to do next. 

Looking up pictures has been awesome...
Crowds at Paddington Station- July 2, 1908
Life is like that sometimes... In the recent past I have felt "stuck". I have wanted to do things in my life but because I still have to finish grad-school I haven't been able to do. Sometimes I let myself get down on the feeling of being stuck because I anticipate the future being so much better. However, I have had a personal conviction that I live so much in hopes of the future instead of enjoying the present. (I am trying to work on that more.) Though there are things I want for my future... I can't let my desire for those things stop me from living now. I have found the best cure for getting out of the "stuck" feeling is taking a step back, reflect on what is going on, and praying God to use me in this moment.

I am not feeling so "stuck" now... I more feel like things are shifting. In my church our pastor has left to move back to Illinois and that feels like a huge shift because he and his family have been a part of my life for 7+ years. Hank baptized me. Also my community group (Bible study) is taking a formal break for the summer (first one in years) and I have started attending a new group at Park Street church. Personally I feel things are shifting. I have been in grad-school for so long (at least it feels that way) and now I only have my thesis to write. But I am wondering if the library world is where I see myself... I don't know. As I have posted about I want to use my passions for God's Kingdom but I am not feeling passionate about Library stuff. I kind of would like just to write to my hearts content and be of service to people (over coffee, missions or whatever). I have been praying about this and more asking God for my heart to stay steadfast in him. 

I am excited more and more about my story of Ginny and Essie (still untitled) I am using some autobiographical things from my own life and Ginny will be facing some questions I have faced and continue to face. I hope using my love of writing stories and my faith will be a good outlet. 
Not really related to post but awesome Roald Dahl quote