I have been feeling really good about my writing, getting a lot of typing done and writing future scenes but I finally typed up to the point that initially got me stuck in my writing and I feared that I wouldn't be able to get through my block. I have read different blogs and articles that say one way to get over writer's block is to change the point of view. I wasn't sure how I was going to this and then I saw this writing prompt on Pinterest and I knew I could use it in my scene...
He waited for her, Mrs. Banks had informed the whole household that Master Parker was to return and he brought the Miss Harringtons with him. Mrs. Banks had written to Miss Mattie about how ill Lady Welford was and she had been highly disappointed to know she had not come sooner. Everyone at Cranston Court knew Miss Mattie held a special place in the house, for she was almost the true daughter of Cranston. They all knew Lady Welford regarded her as a daughter figure and they all knew in the summer when she had been ill what joy Miss Mattie brought to her. No one could explain it, but they all accepted it. However, it was not for those reasons Kelby had volunteered to meet Master Parker at the train station. Poole, Lady Welford's maid, had started rumors down in the servants hall that Master Parker and Miss Daphne were soon to be engage. Everyone was excited for the announcement and they felt their arrival together would make it official. Kelby would not let his brother meet the train. and knowing Shane's vindication risk his position at Cranston. More importantly to him he had to see Miss Mathilda for himself. Shane had talked about how Miss Daphne had changed after being in London and though Kelby was confident Miss Mathilda, his Mattie, would never change, Shane's words still plagued him. Kelby was very eager to volunteer to pick up Master Parker and the Miss Harringtons and fortunately for Kelby Mr. Doyle, the butler, had Shane go into Buxton to fetch some medicine for her ladyship.
He waited for her, he paced a bit in anticipation, the local train was running a bit delayed and in a mix excitement and nervousness he walked the length o the platform and back playing in his mind what he was to say to her. He had to be formal, "Miss Mattie" sounded to juvenile for the woman he had hold and danced with only a month ago. He would never admit it out loud but that dance had changed everything, he had seen her flip over the bicycle and worried the worst fate for her, though she must not have remembered anything from that day. He knew she would remember the dance her looks told him everything he needed to know. Miss Mathilda Elizabeth Rose Harrington was his dearest friend but there was something more behind that look of her, something of sweet and dear love.
"Miss Mathilda, I hope you are well," No "Miss Mathilda, I hope London suited you," No "Miss Mathilda, I am very glad you are back."
The train began to pull in and Kelby took his position Mr. Doyle had informed him where the first class cars usually stepped and Kelby should be there to welcome his future master. Kelby had know Parker his whole life, though in recent years Cranston had not seen much of him, he was becoming a gentlemen of the world, as Mrs. Foster put it. In his younger years Kelby had gotten away with Master Parker, just Parker, at least in the solitude of being alone though now felt changed. They were no longer the children who played in the back woods, they no longer shared their dreams and hopes together, and Kelby would only be right to follow the rules of society.
"Lord Parker," Kelby said stoutly when he saw them.
"My God, Kelby I would not have recognized you." It was friendly enough for Lord Parker, Kelby thought.
Kelby then greeted with a slight nod and said that it was good to see them all, his words were to everyone he particularly directed them to Miss Mathilda, and he hoped she would notice.
There was nothing but warmth and happiness in her smile, nevertheless he noticed a look of pain behind her eyes. He could tell she was happy to see him and yet sad to leave London. Maybe Shane was right, London did change country girls. His mind went to hurtful thoughts of her finding a man, a man of wealth and position, one who could offer everything he could not. He tried to brush those thoughts aside as he had no truth behind him and he had to act civil, any other behavior could have severe consequences. He told himself it was all in his head, Miss Mathilda was happy to be home to be sure but sad under the circumstances of Lady Welford's health, he did have truth to that.
How glad was he had arranged an extra carriage to come for the luggage as he was not expecting Miss Georgiana and Mrs. Gardner to be a part of the company. He first got them and their luggage settled them to go to Southerton as they had no business Cranston. As by design Mattie insisted on sitting on the driver's bench as she claimed the train had left her feeling ill and the desire for some fresh air. He hoped that she longed to sit next to him and they could talk, however when she situated herself she sat on the far edge of the bench to where she was nearly falling over the railing and barely spoke a word. He sat mindless not thinking of how to ask more probing questions. Something clearly had happened in London and she just wasn't willing to say anything.
It pained Kelby that their only contact was as he helped her in and out of the carriage when they had been so close barely a month ago. She gave her thanks when he helped her down from the carriage and then she disappeared behind the doors of Cranston Court.
This is where she belonged, he thought as he stepped back from Cranston's main doors to take in the view. Miss Mathilda and Miss Daphne, they belonged in the world of estates with fine gentlemen, perchance men with titles, jewelry and an abundance of gowns. What could he give her? As a girl Miss Mathilda could have been happy in the rooms above the stable, but she was growing now, one day she would be presented into society, and a man would have to be a fool not to see her beauty both inside and out.
He didn't know what to say to her when she found idly walking through the stables no doubt to be with Diamond Dust, her chosen horse. It had been a couple of days since she had returned but he had not seen her from the time she had entered Cranston's main doors. The last time he saw her, her hair had been stylishly pulled and twisted up in a manner that was quite becoming. Now her hair hung in long braid drooped over her right shoulder she aimlessly played with the loose strands beneath the ribbon. He watched her carefully trying to get his words correct, he felt he was building up the courage to talk to her. This was silly, he had known Miss Mathilda her whole life, she had always been easy for him to read but now all he felt was a great divide. Perhaps Miss Daphne had not changed as Shane had said, maybe they had just realized the divide between them.
Then without truly realizing it she looked at him, her eyes were read and her cheeks flushed, her could tell she had been crying. Now he truly did not what to say it hurt him to see her so clouded in heartache. Her tender heart was always something he admired in her, she wore her heart on her sleeves but she had strength about her, one that he knew she would not be easily crushed, he saw it even if she did not. When he realized her eyes were still upon him as if she woke from a dream, they said a short greeting, there was pain in her voice. He quickly tried to think of conversation to distract her.
"I fear you will find Derbyshire compared to London." He hoped this would bring a smile to her face.
"No I shall not. Many times in London I longed to be back here. London is so confusing with so many people you hardly know, who to trust and where you belong. Besides this is my home."
"I cannot imagine you did not find good company."
"I did, but what are men to rocks and mountains."
He teased her that London had not stopped her love of novels, as he had known she was quoting Jane Austen. She smiled at him and then turned back to look at Diamond as she petting the horses' nose.
"Do you know what's wrong with her?"
It was clear she was not talking about the horse, only he wished she was as he wanted to keep the tone light and friendly. He was about to make a joke when she pleaded with him. "Tell me honestly Kelby, I'd rather hear it from you than Doctor Gibson."
"I know Miss Mathilda but I hate to be the one tell you. You know the old saying, don't kill the messenger." He took a gulp. "Dr. Gibson believed it is her heart, he doesn't know exactly what's wrong but he said it was weak. He recommended when this term of illness is over that she should go to a clinic in Cambridge."
She questioned what he meant by the word "term" and he told her that Lady Welford's health would always be flocculating though if she rested and did not strain herself the bouts of illness would be short and spread out. Then his words turned serious "But they will come, Miss Mathilda, there is nothing we can do about that."
"I understand," she said pressing her forehead against the horse and he could see a tear a roll down her cheek.
" I am sorry —" he wanted to say 'dearest' but couldn't. "If I could keep this news from you I would."
She looked at him and gently placed her hand on his cheek. "No Kelby, I asked for honesty, I am thankful it came from you."
"I would protect you from the truth as long as I could."
"I am fine Kelby, I don't need your protection. I am almost seventeen and far from my naïve childish ways."
"That is not what I meant Miss" his voice was soft and compassionate.