Searching for Joy in a Season That Should Be Bright

Hello faithful readers, 

The “cold” has finally reached Houston, and honestly, I’m delighted. I’d be happy if it stuck around for three more months! Of course, in true Houston fashion, by the time I finished typing this newsletter, we were already back in the 70s, which I suppose is still better than the 80s in December.

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and are feeling the joy and anticipation of Christmas drawing near.

Over Thanksgiving break, I loved the extra sleep and slower pace, and I’m hoping Christmas brings more moments of rest and time with family. But I’ll be honest—lately my heart has felt a bit distant from the thankfulness and joy that usually come so easily this time of year. It feels like I’ve misplaced some of the “magic” I used to sense as a child. More deeply, I’ve felt somewhat disconnected from life, though I can’t quite pinpoint why.

This morning (12/5), during my quiet time, I wrote:

“I want to feel connected to life. I want to be done with this half-life. I long for joy, hope, security, peace, completeness… not out of doubt, but because something feels missing.

I am struggling.

What is it?

Lord, is it You I’m missing?

Lord, I have You—You are my Savior. How much I need You. You are my hope, my security, my sanity. I’d be nothing without You. You created the heavens and the earth… and somehow decided the world needed me, too. You sent Your Son to live, die, and rise again so that all who call You Lord would have life in You.

Thank You—though these words barely feel adequate.

Lord, You are gracious, loving, trustworthy, and complete. You go before me and behind me.

I have You, but I need You more. I’m asking for Your wisdom, Your joy, and everything You desire to give me on this side of heaven.

Lord, capture my heart.

What do You desire from me, in me, and through me?
What do You want to teach me?”*

As I wrote, the lyrics of “In Christ Alone my hope is found” came to mind, and I prayed that those words would be more deeply true of my life.

I’m not entirely sure how to wrap up this blog post except to say: would you join me in that prayer?

Thank you, truly. And here’s to the cold weather lingering a little longer… and to the hope that God is already warming the places in my heart that feel a bit chilled.

Holding onto grace. *

*I feel the need to say the em dashes were not Chat GPT but how I actually wrote my prayers

From Pumpkin Spice to Prayer Time: A Little About Me

 Hello, lovely readers,

I enjoyed revamping my “About Me” page so much that I wanted to extend it into a post. As I was trying to come up with ideas for my “About Me” page, I searched the internet for good get-to-know-you questions, so here are a few of my answers (maybe I’ll add more later).

What is something that always makes you feel at home?
In my life, I have moved about 10 times, sometimes across the country, more often from dorm to apartment, to another apartment. But I feel settled at home when I have my books and pictures hung up. In particular, pictures of my niece and nephews, as well as my two Degas prints, which I’ve had since I was a little girl (when I thought I was going to be a ballerina). My dad bought them for me, and I am not exactly sure what he said, but I remember him telling me that when I saw them, I knew I was at home. And when I moved into my first apartment, he brought these to me. I think besides my panda stuffed animal (that I got when I was 1ish, or so I’ve been told).

Coffee order or go-to drink order?
I’m not a pure coffee drinker; I need a lot of cream and sugar to enjoy it. I drink tea, and I’ve found one that I can take without sugar [plug for Blue Lady Zest Tea]. But I would never say no to a vanilla latte, maybe with a bit of cinnamon (or a Pumpkin Spice Latte).

What Bible verse is anchoring you lately?

What’s one fear or insecurity you have to surrender to Him?
There are two things: One is my finances — not that I’m struggling to make ends meet —but a huge part of my job is support raising (which I discuss more in my newsletters). But sometimes I am disappointed, I am not where I wish I was. One reason I moved to Houston was that I didn’t want to spend my vacation time and money on travel, and I haven’t traveled as much as I'd like. Also, I wish I had more set aside in my savings (I’m sure that's everyone), but I am focused more on paying off my student loans. And in doing support raising, I feel it attacks my insecurities.

Two: A desire for a relationship. A BIG desire of my heart is to be in a relationship, get married, and be seen and known for who I am. In that, I surrender my sense of security.

Actually, I am going through a Bible Study on the theme of submitting, can’t wait to share more on that.

What inspired you to restart this blog?
I am more of a written processor than a verbal processor, but I do want to share my life and thoughts with others. Also, I would one day love to write a Bible Study, and as I ponder this, this is the outreach I have.

How do you stay grounded when life feels busy or heavy?

• My quiet time, as mentioned on my “About Me” page, is sleeping in and having a long, quiet time (about 2 hrs) with a good cup of tea.
• Music: while I like an eclectic mix, it depends on my mood; I find it grounding.
• When stressed at work, I like to step outside for a Vitamin D break.
• Going on walks
• Or private dance party

Early bird or night owl?

If I could sleep late, I would be a night owl, so probably a mid-day magellanic peguin (I’m not sure that is a term, but penguins are one of my favorite animals).

Speaking of favorites:

Favorite drink- tea, vanilla lattes, sun joys aka Arnold Palmers, Dr. Pepper

Favorite food- Chinese or Italian

Favorite snack- granola bar, goldfish crackers

Favorite fast food- Chick-fil-A, Whataburger, MOD Pizza, and if I am back in Oklahoma, Braum’s

Favorite book- not sure. My favorite living author- Kate Morton

Favorite type of books - usually ones with a dual plotline where the past and present are interwined.

Favorite books in the Bible- Deuteronomy,  Ruth, Psalms (if it is not too cliche to say), Luke, John, Romans, Ephesians, and Hebrews. 

 
Favorite movie- Ever After, Clueless, Pride & Prejudice (1995), Bride and Prejudice, Sound of Music, most Marvel movies, Tangled, Muppets Christmas Carol, While You Were Sleeping, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Roman Holiday, (and more)

Favorite song- changes moment by moment

Favorite place to relax- my bed

Favorite hobby- writing

Favorite animal- Sea otter, giraffe, elephant, penguin, and koala bear

Favorite thing to do before bed: sipping sleepy-time tea and scrolling YouTube —should be praying, and reading a book. 

Hello Again!

 Hello, lovely readers,

I have not sat down and looked at this blog in over 9 years. The two biggest pieces of news since then are that I have moved from Boston to Houston and that I have been working at a faith-based nonprofit serving the immigrant and refugee community in Southwest Houston for over 4 years.

I will try not to do shop talk here, but it will bleed in as I am restarting this blog. I want to discuss my faith, my life, and all the randomness.

Despite what this blog shows, I have always liked writing since I was a kid. I used to fill (or half-fill) notebooks. I really started journaling in eighth grade and haven’t stopped, though now my prayers are filled with prayers and personal Bible study reflections. My love of blogging really began in middle and high school, when I would send long emails with updates about my life. My Grandpa once said, “Once you got through the list of sent emails (because I didn’t know about bcc back then), they were nice to read.” Then I started an Xanga page and then moved to Blogspot. I think I am more of an internal written processor, but I have a desire to share my thoughts with the world. And now, in my job as Communications Coordinator, I get to write both organizational and personal emails.

So why am I getting back into blogging?

I took a short sabbatical back in July and was encouraged to reflect on what gives me life. Writing. I will always come back to writing, being in God’s word, a good cup of tea, and being with people (but as a quiet introvert, it is a certain number of people within a safe place for me). Also, at that time, I thought about how I would one day like to write a Bible study... though I am not sure what that will look like.* So I am coming back to blogging to share my prayers, things on my heart as I go through my personal study, and maybe other things (I love books, TV, and movies). So that is what I hope to write about here.

So, here’s to a fresh start—dusting off this corner of the internet and seeing where it goes. I’m trusting that God will use this space for His glory and, maybe, even to encourage someone who stumbles upon it. This is a work in progress (as most things in life), so there will be a few tweaks here and there. Hope you stay tuned to see what comes next.

May the grace of God go with you till I see you again.