Life Lately: Tiny Travels, Family Fun, and Everyday Joys

 Dear Lovely Reader,

I’m tapping my pen and trying to think of what to write. It is April in Houston, which means it is the true beginning of the hot, humid season that will last till October (maybe till Thanksgiving).

Here is a pictorial update of my life:

Over spring break (early March), I took a couple of days and went to Round Rock, TX (a little bit north of Austin). I had never driven myself that far…Remember, I didn’t get my license till I moved to Houston.

I admit I got pulled over and given a warning for an expired registration (which, in Houston, no one cares about), so the first day I was a little hesitant to drive anywhere, but that was fine because the Airbnb I stayed in was near downtown, so I could walk around. I found Round Rock Donuts, which is apparently world-famous. I got some writing done at a little coffee shop, found the Round Rock Public Library (and, of course, took a picture). Enjoyed my quiet time outside on the porch (until the ants came), got some pretty sunsets, and took a lot of pictures of cute houses and flowers.

On my last day there, it was actually cool enough to wear a sweater and enjoy a hot latte while I walked around and found the rock the town was named for. All I can say is the park was really pretty, and it was bigger than Plymouth Rock (in Mass), which is not saying much.

{Plymouth Rock}

After getting back from Round Rock, my cat Beacon has needed lots of cuddle time.

I celebrated my nephew’s 11th birthday, where my niece and nephew decided my hair needed an upgrade—so they gave me a wild, gravity-defying comb-over.

Easter followed, and though I spent time with family, I somehow ended up with more photos of their pets than of people. My selfie skills have also gotten a workout lately—turns out, there’s a guy in Tennessee who enjoys a steady stream of my daily expressions.

Other than that, I have tried to make time to do creative writing, but sometimes things like laundry, talking to the guy, and helping a friend move have taken over my weekends. I did go to see The Gray Havens (website & Spotify)—they are a folk Christian band, I would say, with 289,496 monthly listeners; they probably have a cult following, but that makes tickets pretty cheap, and it’s fun. But it is a little different: people are not always standing or dancing around as you might typically do, but sitting and maybe seated-dancing, listening, and singing along. 

"Storehouse" The Gray Havens

Thanks for reading and sharing a piece of my spring with me—until next time!

It Feels Like Summer… But I’m Still Sitting with Advent (Honest Advent Review)

 Dear Reader,

In my previous “Book Blurbs,” I wrote about what the book was about and how I felt about it.

From Amazon (link):

Has the joy of the holiday season become painfully dissonant with the hard edges of life? Do you feel weary from the way Christmas has become a polished, predictable brand? You aren't alone. For too many of us, Christmas has lost its wonder. What if we stopped treating the Christmas story as something that happened a long time ago and started believing it's still happening today?

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From celebrated artist and storyteller Scott Erickson comes Honest Advent: 25 days of illustrations and meditations to help you rekindle the wonder of this season. Honest Advent creates a space for you to encounter the Incarnate Christ in unexpected places: like a pregnancy announcement in an era of political unrest and empirical bloodshed, the morning sickness of a Middle Eastern teenager, and the shocking biology of birth that goes far beyond the sanitized brand of Christmas as we know it today.

Through powerful benedictions, prayers, and questions for honest reflection, you'll discover how the wonder of God-with-Us is still happening today: in your unexpected change of plans, your unaccomplished dreams, your overcrowded lodging, and your humble stories of new beginnings.

I will agree that Christmas has sometimes lost its wonder, not just because it is March, almost April, but because Christmas is a busy season in my job, there is an end-of-year giving campaign, and outside my job there is just a busyness in the rush of a season, but there is also a feeling of that things should be right in the world, and they aren’t, but as Advent is a time of coming I am looking forward to the second coming when Christ will set all things right.

I will say this book did its job of highlighting God showing up in the hardest parts of humanity, and while I would say parts of it “rekindle the wonder of God-with-us.” Mostly, it made me think and ponder: Where is God? What is he leading me to? How am I embracing the God-with-us? How is He embracing me?

The book does a good job of exploring what it means to seek meaning or inspiration during times when life doesn’t feel particularly full of wonder. However, a couple of aspects felt awkward. As both an artist and an author, Scott Erickson included some of his own artwork throughout the book. While some pieces were interesting, others came across as distracting.

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Above pic based off of
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I did like this one of Eve placing her hand on Mary’s belly—in the picture, Eve is experiencing the hope and grace from brokenness she never thought she would see. Also, he used chunks of the page to highlight a quote he wanted to draw attention to, but sometimes it was in the middle of the page, making it nearly impossible to read. (But that is not so much about writing but about the publishing format).  

Not sure if I’ll read it again next Christmas, but that is still 9 or 8 months away (I’m not good at math).

One of the more distracting pics 
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Overall, the book offers valuable insights into navigating spiritual searching during difficult times, even if some artistic choices occasionally detract from the reading experience. Despite these minor distractions, its thoughtful approach to seeking meaning makes it a worthwhile read.

Something to think about: 
What might change if I stopped looking for wonder in the way I expect it to appear, and instead learned to recognize God-with-us in the places that feel unfinished, uncomfortable, or quietly ordinary?

Honest Advent: Paying Attention in the Waiting (Part 2)

Dear Reader, 

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In my previous post (link), I shared a few passages from Honest Advent that met me in my unease and questions. As I’ve continued sitting with the book, more words have surfaced — quiet invitations to trust, to wrestle, and to remain present in the waiting.

Moving on to a later chapter called "Virgin," Erickson writes, "Your transformation throughout life will be a paradox. One truth is that you have agency to make decisions to change and transform the parts you wish... Gratitude and thankfulness are choices you can make to transform your perspective in every situation” (pg. 85-86).

Lately, I have been feeling stuck in life. As I mentioned before, I have let my struggles have a big voice—and I have to be reminded, often, to “take every thought captive to God” (2 Corinthians 10:5). That reminder takes a certain amount of strength. For me, it feels much easier to bury my mind in scrolling, watching TV, or getting lost in distractions than to turn my thoughts to God—even though He already knows them.

In the chapter “With,” Erickson writes, “There is so much we don’t have control over, and it will change us no matter what. What we do have is agency to respond to these forces. The ability to decide how we are going to let them change us—for better or worse,” (pg. 139). In this, I need (and I think everybody) to let go of control and depend on God—I just wish I knew better how?

Later in the chapter about the magi (”Attention”), he states, “The deep desire of the magi was to connect with the creator of the world, and they trusted the creator to reveal the interior journey of the soul in the exterior world around them... but because of their deep desire to know God, they were willing to trust the signs in the sky to go and see” (pg. 175). Erickson mentions that the magi looked at the patterns in the sky and knew the star pointed to God. He uses this illustration to show that when we pay attention and seek God, we notice patterns in our lives and in the world pointing to God.

It reminds me of a quote: “the place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet,” by theologian Frederick Buechner in his book Wishful Thinking (I might need to add that to my reading list). (And if you want to go down the rabbit hole, I welcome you—Click here). The point for me, I think, is paying attention to and seeking God, and looking for patterns in your life; you will find life-giving things. Sometimes I look out for non-life-giving things and cut those out. So I can focus on God and life-giving things.

Ultimately, this season is calling me to pay attention to the patterns, the invitations, and the gentle nudges that point me back to God. I may not always have clear answers, but in the waiting and the wondering, I want to remain open to what God is revealing. Maybe the real invitation is simply to trust that, even in uncertainty, presence and attentiveness are enough.

I leave you with these questions:

Where have you noticed patterns or gentle invitations in your own life that might be pointing you toward something deeper?

What are the distractions or non-life-giving things you might need to let go of in order to pay closer attention to God’s presence?

In what ways is waiting or uncertainty inviting you to trust or remain present?

Thanks for reading. 

Honest Advent: Lingering with Uncertainty, Faith in the Waiting (Part 1)

Dear Reader,

From Amazon

Over Christmas (and let’s be honest and a little bit beyond (I’m a slow reader)),  I read Honest Advent, by Scott Erickson, and while it is post-Christmas, I find it interesting that Advent means “coming,” and we are still waiting for Jesus’ second coming, it is okay to share my thoughts on this. I will admit most Christmases just pass by, and I’m unchanged by the fact of Jesus’ arrival and His life, death, and resurrection. And my co-worker/friend, knowing these struggles, perhaps gave me this book to speak into my emotions. I will not harp further on my feelings, as I have written previously: “Searching for Joy in a season that should be bright.” As I stated in previous posts, I’m in a time of wandering, and the things I underlined and reflect on speak to those questions, though I am not sure I have answers. 

To start, in the chapter “Unease,” Erickson wrote, “But when you say to the Giver of your life, ‘I want my life to be meaningful. I want to serve you with my life. May it be so, according to what You desire,’ you have no idea what secret cosmic strategies have been put into play to answer that request” (pg. 55). I’ve often echoed the words of Isaiah, “Here I am, use me” (6:8), and yet, at times, I still feel nothing.

Continuing in the next chapter, Erickson writes, “I just know that the Divine is really really really really really detailed in Its working with us—and anytime I’m awakened to the intentionality, I’m filled with wonder” (pg. 60). I, too, know God is intimately detailed in our lives—He understood how our cells had to divide for us to grow, and how our hearts formed first as we were being knitted together in our mother’s womb. If God is so detailed and if He is moving in cosmic ways to answer my requests to be used by Him, why am I still lingering with uncertainty?

Sometimes, even when I trust that God is attentive to every detail and my requests are heard, I find myself waiting in the quiet spaces of uncertainty. Perhaps faith means continuing to say “Here I am” even when the answer is not immediately clear, trusting that what feels like silence is part of a much larger, unfolding story.

Erickson says. “The process of growth is always uneasy, because growth never comes through ease. It comes through stretching and expanding of one’s own capacity to push on ahead” (pg. 54). He also writes, “It is for love that you have been broken open so a larger capacity of faith, hope, and love can be built inside you. For love. It’s because you are loved” (pg.56). In that I can see, today in my prayer time today I wrote about my struggles (insecurities, doubts, feeling like I am a failure, finances, my pride, and feeling like I’m not doing enough.) Lord, I need you. You are sovereign, you know my ways, but what are your ways? ... You have a plan and a purpose. And maybe a purpose in these struggles is for me to depend on You, to lean on You, and maybe explore [remind] myself what I love. I love writing, both fiction and blog posts. I love to journal in that feeling close to You... How can I be of use to you in this? I don’t know if God will use me specifically in writing. I’m waiting for God, but also moving forward in writing, and if God uses this passion, it will be a wonderful outcome. Erickson did give questions about things to think about when you are uneasy. 

1. What is the conversation I can have only by being in this situation?

2. What parts of my life have I been able to uncover only by finding myself here?

3. What unexpected place might God want to meet me in during this uneasy time I’m experiencing? 

I will leave them here for you to ponder. 

As these questions linger, I’ve found myself returning to the pages of Honest Advent, discovering even more passages that speak into the tension and hope of this season. In Part 2, I’ll share more quotes and reflections that have challenged and encouraged me along the way—inviting you to wrestle and wonder with me.

Russian Winter: A Historical Fiction Novel of Ballet, Betrayal, and Boston

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 Dear Reader, 

Over Christmas, I picked up Russian Winter by Daphne Kalotay. I think my former New England heart wanted a bit of winter, and while I don't think I felt a chill of winter air come through the pages, I loved that part of the story was set in Boston, and it is clear the author in her mentions of the T, Dunkin Donuts, and descriptions of the Back Bay and Beacon Hill made it obvious she lives there or visits quiet often. I could picture where the characters sat and walked about, and that made me happy.

From the back of the book: 

When Nina Revskaya puts her remarkable jewelry collection up for auction, the former Bolshoi Ballet star finds herself overwhelmed by memories of her homeland, and of the events, both glorious and heartbreaking, that changed her life half a century earlier. It was in Russia that she discovered the magic of dance and fell in love, and where, faced with Stalinist aggression, a terrible discovery incited a deadly act of betrayal—and an ingenious escape to the West.

Nina has kept her secrets for half a lifetime. But now Drew Brooks, an inquisitive associate at a Boston auction house, and Grigori Solodin, a professor who believes Nina's jewels hold the key to unlocking his past, begin to unravel her story—setting in motion a series of revelations that will have life-altering consequences for them all.

What I liked: 

I don't know much about Russia (even though going to St. Petersburg is on my list), so I liked learning more about its history. Also, being told from the lens of an up-and-coming ballerina in the 1940s to 50s was a very interesting perspective, because while she wasn't involved in politics, she had friends and was herself affected by the politics of the time. 

What I didn't like, but learned to like:

At first, when I was reading Nina's memories, it was sometimes obvious that the writing had shifted from the present (I am guessing it took place in the early 2010s because of the technology mentioned) to the past. But that is fair because when I am deep in thought, thinking back to the past, I sometimes can't always distinguish the past from the present.  

Also, Nina's storyline has a lot of characters, some of whom I didn't understand the point of. And I told myself, "Well, I guess it wouldn't be a Russian novel without lots of characters." I haven't actually read a Russian novel, but in my one attempt to watch the mini-series War and Peace, there were a lot of characters. Eventually, the minor characters played a part in the story's plot twist, and I was shocked, but no spoilers. Kind of wish it hadn't taken about 400 pages to get there... but I move on. 

2016- War and Peace
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What I didn't like: 

There was one scene that I was nervous about with Nina and her love interest, Viktor, where they are sitting in the back of a crowded car (no seatbelt laws then), and it seems he is getting very sexual with her without having sex. I was worried this would carry on through the book, but it didn't.

Also, Nina and Viktor do end up getting married, but because Nina is focused on having a career as a star ballerina, she has abortions, most of which she doesn't even tell Viktor she is pregnant, because he wants to be a father.

Also, Nina and Viktor live with his mother, a former aristocrat in the old days (pre-Revolution), and she is snobby and puts Nina down a lot, and Viktor kind of shrugs it off, like you can't blame her, she is old and has had everything taken from her (which I get), but doesn't defend his wife. 

What I liked: 

In the present, Drew is a divorced woman (okay, I didn't like that), but it helps give the character depth, and she is figuring life out, figuring out what she wants, how to have relationships after brokenness, and how to be vulnerable again. Plus, her work as an "inquisitive associate at a Boston auction house" made research sound interesting. One, I love doing research... yep, total nerd. Also, personally, in my current WIP, my character is doing research, so I liked reading how to write scenes to make research interesting and not boring. 

Also, the ending of the story leaves part of Drew's story unfinished — details about her grandfather's past that come up but are not concluded. And while she has a happy ending, it is not tied up in a bow... and that is okay because that is life, and also gives the reader scope for imagination to wonder what will happen next. 

What I didn't like, but learned to like:

Another main character, Grigori, comes in, and at first, I didn't really get his purpose. But he actually plays a pivotal role in Drew's story. And Kalotay gave all her main characters side characters, backstory, and purpose, with or without the book being written. 

Quotes that sat with me: 

"For anything more than friendship--for real romance, passionate love--she would have to feel something very strong, strong enough for her to want to try again" (pg. 85). 

I feel that, right now, I am kind of hiding in place, restoring my relationship with God, and picking myself up from the brokenness of the ex. For me to want to try again, I would have to feel a very strong connection and a deep desire to let someone in. But I like the hope at the end of the story in Drew's relationship. 

"In fact, Drew herself had felt shaken, at the reality of those pictures, at the silent reminder: that people we are closest to can disappear like that, even the people most rooted in our lives, the ones we think of as constant" (pg. 370). 

If God is with you... (part 2)

Hello faithful readers,

In the first part of this reflection, I lingered in Gideon’s encounter with God, the questions, the hesitation, and the quiet reassurance of God’s presence. But as I sat with the story longer, I began to realize something: Gideon’s questions sound a lot like my own. 

For part one, click here. 

Part one

From this study, I noticed twice that God promised to be with Gideon. And this is not a promise limited to Gideon. God makes this promise in Exodus, Joshua, it is the last verse in Matthew... “I am with you always, even to the end of the age” (28:20), Jesus is also called Emmanuel, which means “God with us,” and “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us...” (John 1:4).

Also, I noticed how much I am like Gideon:

1) In asking God, why has all this happened? And yet I know (sometimes) the mess I am walking through is because of the mistakes, the sins I have done—I know God forgives and redeems, like God pulled the Israelites out of the hands of the Midianites, but also you have to deal with the mess (the consequences of sin). Gideon asks the Angel, “Where are all His miracles which our fathers told us about...” And I feel kind of blatantly put God on trial, saying “But now the LORD has forsaken us...” (v.13) And maybe it is not an accusation but a cry of his heart?

How many times have I felt forsaken? And I just have to cling to the promise that God does not abandon or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6, 8; Joshua 1:5; 1 Chronicles 28:20; and Hebrews 13:5). But then sit there and wonder if those words are true, and cry out again.

2) Gideon saying, “If I have now found favor in your sight, then show me a sign...” How many times have I wondered if I have favor with God? Am I worthy of asking for anything when I’m sure I fail a thousand times (a day)?  

But even in that, I have God’s assurances, “And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My name, I will do it” (John 14:13,14). I am not a name-and-claim-it kind of person, because there are passages that speak of asking according to His will. But in time of wondering, my dad sent me a card with the verse 1 John 5:14 written on it.

-Now this is the confidence we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.  

3)Do I ask for signs? And am I confident that He will do the signs (if necessary)? If He does sign, do I recognize them, or like Gideon, do I ask for one more sign?

Wrapping this up, I will say in verse 34 it says, “But the Spirit of the LORD came upon Gideon...” Even in Gideon's flaws, God still gives him His presence.

I am reassured by verses like this and others that God grants me His presence.

-I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in Him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. (John 15:5)

-in whom you are also being built together for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit. (Ephesians 2:22)

-But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; who once were not a people but are now the people of God, who had not obtained mercy but now have obtained mercy. (1 Peter 2:21)

As I close this reflection, these are the questions I’m still sitting with:

• Where am I asking God for reassurance, even after He has already spoken?

• What promises of God am I struggling to believe right now?

• And maybe the question isn’t whether God is present, but whether I am willing to trust Him when He is? 

• Curious if you are brave enough to answer, where do you see yourself in Gideon’s story?

A terebinth tree

I guess this is how I imagine a terebinth tree in Israel, being this shady place to rest in the cool of the day, and since God would know where to meet us in the shade and in the cool places, and as God is to be our rest maybe this is why He hangs out in the terebinth trees to reveal Himself in the Old Testament.

If God Is With You… Why Does It Feel Like This?

Hello faithful readers, 

As I have said, one of my goals in life and with this blog is to write a Bible study... for this perfectionist, that is a big undertaking. Like, who am I to write a study? Where would I start? Am I even qualified? Well, after thinking, overthinking, and rethinking about it (a common habit of mine), I finally sat down and wrote one (well 2 blog posts), but I hope to write more.

Thanks for your support! 

Gideon with an angel... I'm assuming consuming the rock with fire

I have been going through a time of questions, and late in 2025 and earlier this year, I felt my prayers were going no further than the pages of my journal. I was left wondering, “Where is God?” “What does He desire?” And “Does He actually hear me?” This brings me to the story of Gideon (Judges 6).

The Angel of the Lord comes and sits down under the terebinth tree (v.11).* And the Angel says to Gideon, “The Lord is with you, mighty man of valor.” I highlighted that in green because it is a promise, and I wrote a “W” next to it, to remind me when God says He is with us. And Gideon asks if the Lord is with us, then why has all this happened?

The “all” he is referring to is that the Midianites have attacked and oppressed the people. It seems kind of a funny question because in verse 1, it is stated, “Then the children of Israel did evil in the sight of the LORD. So the LORD delivered them into the hands of Midian. But God promised the Israelites in Deuteronomy 28:

-The Lord will open to you His good treasure, the heavens, to give rain to your land in its season, and to bless all the work of your hand...And the LORD will make you the head and not the tail; you shall be above only, and not be beneath, if you heed the commandments of the LORD your God, which I command you today, and are careful to observe them (v.12,13).

-But it shall come to pass, if you do not obey the voice of the LORD your God, to observe carefully all His commandments and His statutes which I command you today, that all these curses will come upon you (v.15)

Now I am going to go out on a limb and say that with the Israelites doing evil in the sight of the Lord, they were not doing as God commanded. So God was punishing them — or, as I like to think of it, correcting them so they would turn back to God.

In verse 14, the NKJV states, “The LORD turned to him,” (not the angel but the LORD) and says, “Go in the might of yours, and you shall save Israel from the Midianites. Have I not sent you?” I highlighted that in green too.

Then Gideon says, “If now I have found favor in Your sight, then show me a sign it is You who talk to me.” (v. 17). If you know the story of Gideon, he is famous or infamous for asking God three times about the fleece, whether it would be wet or dry (v.36-40). This is not that part of the story. Here, Gideon prepares a young goat and unleavened bread, puts the broth in a pot, and sets them under the terebinth trees. The Angel of God tells him to take the food, put it on a rock, and from the Angel’s staff he touched the meat and the bread, and fire rises out and consumes it, then the Angel departs (v. 19-21). Now Gideon realizes he has seen an Angel of the LORD face to face (v.22). Then the LORD said to Him, “Peace be to you; do not fear, you shall not die.” (And yes, I highlighted that in green too). And Gideon builds an altar and calls it THE-LORD-IS-Peace. (YHWH Shalom)” (v.23,24). 

Gideon’s story doesn’t end with answers; it begins with a question: Is God really with me?

In Part 2, I want to explore why I see myself so clearly in Gideon, and how God meets us when our faith wavers, our confidence is thin, and our questions feel unanswered.

*Side note: Someone could probably write a whole Old Testament study on terebinth trees; they seem to be very important. The Lord appears to Abram by the terebinth tree in his tent (Genesis 18). And Isaiah compares Israel to a terebinth, as from Israel’s stump, God would produce a holy seed (6:13). 

A terebinth tree 

As I was looking for the above picture found a quick YouTube video about terebinth trees

... then the sun came out

 Hello faithful readers,

In my last post (click here to read), I shared a glimpse of my struggle, how disconnected from life I’ve been feeling. I’ve also shared more with some of the prayerful women in my life (I’m sure I have prayerful men too; I’m just usually better at sharing my heart with women). Along with the disconnect, I’ve been wrestling with familiar fears: that I am unworthy of love, unlovable, a burden, or that I will always be alone. These are lies I’ve battled on and off for years. Most of the time, I can keep them at bay, but lately they’ve been loud.

I’ve also felt as though my prayers only reach as far as the journal page on which I write them.

And yet, I’ve actively tried to remind myself of the gospel: God who created the whole universe, wants a relationship with me, not because I am great, but because He created me and loved me, and proved His love by sending His Son (Hello Christmas!) who lived perfectly and on mision to restore people to His kingdom, died as the innocent lamb of God in my place, conquering death for me, and covering me by His blood, for me to have a relationship with Him, and rose from the dead so I no longer have face eternal death.*

I’ve prayed through the Psalms of Lament (Psalm 5) and the Psalms of Praise (Psalm 16). Still, my prayers felt as though they had little impact, and I continued to feel blocked.

If you’re an imagery person, it feels like I’m surrounded by ghostly figures. I can see through them, but they block my vision from truly reaching God or seeing what God desires for me.

One of my prayerful friends sent me a clip of Josh Howerton from Lake Pointe Church, sharing the story of Corrie ten Boom and her sister thanking God for the fleas. Yesterday (12/15), I tried that—thanking God for the “fleas” in my own life.

"Thank you for this low, distant feeling that keeps pressing me deeper into You.

Thank you for Your glory, hope, and strength.

…

Holy Spirit, search my heart.

Give my heart a new song of praise.

Lord, I know You hear my prayers, and that they are not stopping at the pages of this journal. You have me. You know my life. You love me, and You are faithful.

You are glorious, righteous, and secure.

…

You hold my heart.

Thank You, O God, that You hold my heart.

Thank You, O Lord, that my life is in Your hands— my future, anything romantic, finances, any mountains that come my way, any valleys that seek to hold me down, any work, all work for Your kingdom.

…

Thank You, Lord, that this moment, this season, and this earth are not the end-all, be-all of life. I have a home in heaven. One day, I will honestly sit on Your lap, hear Your whispers of love, and worship You face-to-face. While I long for that day, let me be of use. May I keep saying, “Here I am, Lord. Use me.”

Now to the moment that inspired the title of this post.

On Sunday, as part of my job, we hosted a large outing for our clients at a Christmas tree farm. It was a cold and windy day (in New England, it would’ve felt like a great December day). Sometimes our clients won’t attend ESL class if it’s cold, so I prayed that the sun would come out—that they would have a good day and hear loving truth.

About 10–20 minutes later, I was talking with a volunteer when my boss came up to me and said, “God heard your prayer.” Honestly, I had forgotten what I had prayed and asked, “What?” He reminded me that I had asked for the sun, and it came.

I’m not saying that everything suddenly feels better, or that I’m no longer struggling. But I wanted to share the renewed confidence I have in God. He is my hope, my anchor, and most days my sanity.

What “small answered prayer” might God be using to remind you today that He is near?

*I know that was one long run-on sentence. If you have questions, let me know. 

Searching for Joy in a Season That Should Be Bright

Hello faithful readers, 

The “cold” has finally reached Houston, and honestly, I’m delighted. I’d be happy if it stuck around for three more months! Of course, in true Houston fashion, by the time I finished typing this newsletter, we were already back in the 70s, which I suppose is still better than the 80s in December.

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and are feeling the joy and anticipation of Christmas drawing near.

Over Thanksgiving break, I loved the extra sleep and slower pace, and I’m hoping Christmas brings more moments of rest and time with family. But I’ll be honest—lately my heart has felt a bit distant from the thankfulness and joy that usually come so easily this time of year. It feels like I’ve misplaced some of the “magic” I used to sense as a child. More deeply, I’ve felt somewhat disconnected from life, though I can’t quite pinpoint why.

This morning (12/5), during my quiet time, I wrote:

“I want to feel connected to life. I want to be done with this half-life. I long for joy, hope, security, peace, completeness… not out of doubt, but because something feels missing.

I am struggling.

What is it?

Lord, is it You I’m missing?

Lord, I have You—You are my Savior. How much I need You. You are my hope, my security, my sanity. I’d be nothing without You. You created the heavens and the earth… and somehow decided the world needed me, too. You sent Your Son to live, die, and rise again so that all who call You Lord would have life in You.

Thank You—though these words barely feel adequate.

Lord, You are gracious, loving, trustworthy, and complete. You go before me and behind me.

I have You, but I need You more. I’m asking for Your wisdom, Your joy, and everything You desire to give me on this side of heaven.

Lord, capture my heart.

What do You desire from me, in me, and through me?
What do You want to teach me?”*

As I wrote, the lyrics of “In Christ Alone my hope is found” came to mind, and I prayed that those words would be more deeply true of my life.

I’m not entirely sure how to wrap up this blog post except to say: would you join me in that prayer?

Thank you, truly. And here’s to the cold weather lingering a little longer… and to the hope that God is already warming the places in my heart that feel a bit chilled.

Holding onto grace. *

*I feel the need to say the em dashes were not Chat GPT but how I actually wrote my prayers

From Pumpkin Spice to Prayer Time: A Little About Me

 Hello, lovely readers,

I enjoyed revamping my “About Me” page so much that I wanted to extend it into a post. As I was trying to come up with ideas for my “About Me” page, I searched the internet for good get-to-know-you questions, so here are a few of my answers (maybe I’ll add more later).

What is something that always makes you feel at home?
In my life, I have moved about 10 times, sometimes across the country, more often from dorm to apartment, to another apartment. But I feel settled at home when I have my books and pictures hung up. In particular, pictures of my niece and nephews, as well as my two Degas prints, which I’ve had since I was a little girl (when I thought I was going to be a ballerina). My dad bought them for me, and I am not exactly sure what he said, but I remember him telling me that when I saw them, I knew I was at home. And when I moved into my first apartment, he brought these to me. I think besides my panda stuffed animal (that I got when I was 1ish, or so I’ve been told).

Coffee order or go-to drink order?
I’m not a pure coffee drinker; I need a lot of cream and sugar to enjoy it. I drink tea, and I’ve found one that I can take without sugar [plug for Blue Lady Zest Tea]. But I would never say no to a vanilla latte, maybe with a bit of cinnamon (or a Pumpkin Spice Latte).

What Bible verse is anchoring you lately?

What’s one fear or insecurity you have to surrender to Him?
There are two things: One is my finances — not that I’m struggling to make ends meet —but a huge part of my job is support raising (which I discuss more in my newsletters). But sometimes I am disappointed, I am not where I wish I was. One reason I moved to Houston was that I didn’t want to spend my vacation time and money on travel, and I haven’t traveled as much as I'd like. Also, I wish I had more set aside in my savings (I’m sure that's everyone), but I am focused more on paying off my student loans. And in doing support raising, I feel it attacks my insecurities.

Two: A desire for a relationship. A BIG desire of my heart is to be in a relationship, get married, and be seen and known for who I am. In that, I surrender my sense of security.

Actually, I am going through a Bible Study on the theme of submitting, can’t wait to share more on that.

What inspired you to restart this blog?
I am more of a written processor than a verbal processor, but I do want to share my life and thoughts with others. Also, I would one day love to write a Bible Study, and as I ponder this, this is the outreach I have.

How do you stay grounded when life feels busy or heavy?

• My quiet time, as mentioned on my “About Me” page, is sleeping in and having a long, quiet time (about 2 hrs) with a good cup of tea.
• Music: while I like an eclectic mix, it depends on my mood; I find it grounding.
• When stressed at work, I like to step outside for a Vitamin D break.
• Going on walks
• Or private dance party

Early bird or night owl?

If I could sleep late, I would be a night owl, so probably a mid-day magellanic peguin (I’m not sure that is a term, but penguins are one of my favorite animals).

Speaking of favorites:

Favorite drink- tea, vanilla lattes, sun joys aka Arnold Palmers, Dr. Pepper

Favorite food- Chinese or Italian

Favorite snack- granola bar, goldfish crackers

Favorite fast food- Chick-fil-A, Whataburger, MOD Pizza, and if I am back in Oklahoma, Braum’s

Favorite book- not sure. My favorite living author- Kate Morton

Favorite type of books - usually ones with a dual plotline where the past and present are interwined.

Favorite books in the Bible- Deuteronomy,  Ruth, Psalms (if it is not too cliche to say), Luke, John, Romans, Ephesians, and Hebrews. 

 
Favorite movie- Ever After, Clueless, Pride & Prejudice (1995), Bride and Prejudice, Sound of Music, most Marvel movies, Tangled, Muppets Christmas Carol, While You Were Sleeping, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Roman Holiday, (and more)

Favorite song- changes moment by moment

Favorite place to relax- my bed

Favorite hobby- writing

Favorite animal- Sea otter, giraffe, elephant, penguin, and koala bear

Favorite thing to do before bed: sipping sleepy-time tea and scrolling YouTube —should be praying, and reading a book. 

Hello Again!

 Hello, lovely readers,

I have not sat down and looked at this blog in over 9 years. The two biggest pieces of news since then are that I have moved from Boston to Houston and that I have been working at a faith-based nonprofit serving the immigrant and refugee community in Southwest Houston for over 4 years.

I will try not to do shop talk here, but it will bleed in as I am restarting this blog. I want to discuss my faith, my life, and all the randomness.

Despite what this blog shows, I have always liked writing since I was a kid. I used to fill (or half-fill) notebooks. I really started journaling in eighth grade and haven’t stopped, though now my prayers are filled with prayers and personal Bible study reflections. My love of blogging really began in middle and high school, when I would send long emails with updates about my life. My Grandpa once said, “Once you got through the list of sent emails (because I didn’t know about bcc back then), they were nice to read.” Then I started an Xanga page and then moved to Blogspot. I think I am more of an internal written processor, but I have a desire to share my thoughts with the world. And now, in my job as Communications Coordinator, I get to write both organizational and personal emails.

So why am I getting back into blogging?

I took a short sabbatical back in July and was encouraged to reflect on what gives me life. Writing. I will always come back to writing, being in God’s word, a good cup of tea, and being with people (but as a quiet introvert, it is a certain number of people within a safe place for me). Also, at that time, I thought about how I would one day like to write a Bible study... though I am not sure what that will look like.* So I am coming back to blogging to share my prayers, things on my heart as I go through my personal study, and maybe other things (I love books, TV, and movies). So that is what I hope to write about here.

So, here’s to a fresh start—dusting off this corner of the internet and seeing where it goes. I’m trusting that God will use this space for His glory and, maybe, even to encourage someone who stumbles upon it. This is a work in progress (as most things in life), so there will be a few tweaks here and there. Hope you stay tuned to see what comes next.

May the grace of God go with you till I see you again. 

Reading, writing, and Downton... the things in my life

Hello lovely readers,

I hope you are all (who ever you are) are having a good week and are excited for the up coming weekend... I am, my mom is town and we are going to be enjoying some pampering, also doing a little bit of shopping and just enjoying some mom and daughter time. But before the weekend begins I just wanted to give you all a quick update on my life...

 

Reading

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 I tried reading Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier as it was recommend to me by my friend and while I was intrigued by the story I didn't get past 100 pages. One night I was reading in bed and the book Me Before You was sitting on my book shelf and I kept thinking I want to read that instead. So I began reading it. I will also admit while I have wanted to read this book for a while and when I saw the ad for the upcoming movie I was more intrigued... plus I love Sam Claffin (aka Finnick).

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Trailer:

Link

Re-watching trailer I think I am going to need tissues... Yep I am a sap. 

Writing

I think I am two or three plot points away from being done, which feels very weird and cool all at the same time. Currently I am trying to type up every thing I have written out in order to get my mind settled on how I want to finish the story. I have it outlined and I know how I want to end in my head putting words on paper feels hard. But as I have been reminded I have to keep pushing myself.

{The Future was Theirs}

I have been thinking more and more about preparing for my second draft and sharing my work. I know this goes against some advice but I am thinking of sharing the story through a blog format. I am not so concerned about being published or the money, and to me that sounds like a headache. For me it is more important to share my story with my friends and family and anyone else who reads this blog. But I am still thinking through this process.

For now I just have to finish the first draft.

Thinking about

Even though I am working on the first draft of my story my brain can't help but wander to my next story.  

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A couple of months ago I thought of a story line where a modern day girl finds a journal from the past only to find out that it is hers. Then a few weeks later I quickly jotted down this scene...

He was perched on the bench ready to jump into action, clasping the edge of the seat to make sure he didn't fall off. He eagerly awaited her to arrive on the incoming train.

Later I saw a man sitting on the T wearing a tweed jacket and sweater vest and the name Crispin came to me and wrote this out...

Crispin was wearing his best forest green collar button up with it nearly matching green tie, wool sweater vest with a red and gold diamond pattern, and his tweed jacket that had patches on the elbow. He loved that jacket, it had been his fathers and still smelled of his father's pipe tobacco. Crispin thought if gave him a scholarly look, and when her wore it he stood a bit taller. He been in the library shuffling through papers looking for some some notes on the archaeology diggings in Pakistan. His uncle had referred to it the other day and Crispin was certain his uncle had misquoted the author, however scholarly his uncle pretended to be he was always misquoting someone. Crispin had made it a game to look up the quotes to discreetly and politely correct him. He was shuffling through some papers when he caught out of the corner of his eye a movement in the garden. No one besides the gardener went out there after Aunt Edith passed away and even out of the corner of his eye he recognized this was not Marion, the crotchety old gardener, who was only kept on in respect of Aunt Edith. This movement was a woman who clearly did not want to be noticed. Crispin slammed the files shut and marched to the garden, he wasn't sure if was more curious by the woman's movement in the garden or angry someone would intrude on them. There had been tales of ghostly figures on the property and youngsters had mad it their mission to hunt these out and these escapades had happened more since Aunt Edith's death but never in the day time. Crispin was happy to finally be able to have his say in the matter once he captured the intruder.

{This is not how I pictured Crispin but I like the suit}

Not sure what is going to happen with this but I feel all these plots are intertwined.

 Watching

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I am greatly enjoying watching the last season of Downton Abbey and I am interested in seeing how it will all end. During the first season of Downton I didn't care for Edith at all but over time she has grown on me, she sometimes whines too much, I feel she is becoming more empowered. Now if only Mary could stop picking on her I would be happy. In this season I am feeling more sorry for Thomas or Mr. Barrows but I think if he had just been nicer earlier on more people would be rooting for him, but I do want him to be successful at the end of the series.

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I do want Mary to be happy but I honestly don't understand why they made Henry a race car driver of course this was going to be a hang up for Mary after Matthew's death. I am actually surprised how long she has pursued him because of it... but I guess sometimes love is a risk. I think Branson was very wise (as he has always been) in the last episode.

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Also I have been binge re-watching Hart of Dixie, which I enjoyed the second time as much as I enjoyed the first time and knowing what was going I enjoyed watching the character development more. I will say right now I wish Lavon and AnnaBeth had ended up together as I thought they were perfect together. 

{AnnaBeth and Lavon}

 Plus she was good friend to both Lemon and Zoe even though they hated each other. Plus her fashion (minus some green eye shadow) was better than Lemon's... I know this shouldn't be the reason why she should be with Lavon but its true.

{One of my favorite outfits}

Overall I am happy with the ending of the show.

Video contains some spoilers up to season 3

 Link

 Looking forward to

In March I will be going to visit my sister and family to celebrate my little ginger man's 1st birthday. I cannot believe he will be a year old. 

{Him and I over Christmas}

That is all for now hope you guys have a good weekend.