My bit of splendor comes from stepping outside my comfort zone. On Saturday night some of my friends got together to hang out and it turned out to be a night of improve. We have done improv games in the past but I am really hesitant because it pushes me out of my comfort zone. I told my friend earlier that night that I liked structure, I liked order and my little box. Improv is outside that little box, it has very little structure, and you are not always to be logical but crazy and fun. I can be crazy and fun but it is hard for me to do it when it is on demand. While Improv pushes me out of my comfort zone Saturday night was great fun and it was a wonderful moment of splendor.
Late in February, I wrote about how I was having a mental block, I felt in my story I had written myself into a corner and I didn't know how to back myself out of the corner.
It is hard to explain but I had to go back to the part of the story where it made sense and begin again. I guess some times writing a novel is like going through a maze. When I am writing a story I like to lay out the main points of the plot in my head but most of the time the actions of the characters take the writing places I never suspected. While this is an awesome time to explore sometimes my characters get lost and as a writer I have to put them on the right path. I like writing to explore these different paths sometimes it gets frustrating when you get so lost you don't know how to find your way. As an writer when that happens I have to put down my story again and wait for inspiration to hit me again.
With in a week the house was cleared out of all its guest. No one was overly sad to leave, or gushed over the parting. They didn't praise their hostess with thanks for a wonderful or unforgettable summer, in fact most of the group wish to put the whole season behind them. So they said their goodbyes in a very orderly fashion. Julia pretended could not wait to see her cousins again and she pretended to wish them well but it was all a façade. Her heart was over joyed to leave and get ready for Mrs. Crane's ball and thought of the gown she have to order when they arrived back home. Victoria kissed her nieces goodbye and gave a tight hug to Emmy telling her everything would be alright but she didn't gush or show any deep emotion. Emmy really didn't really care to show any emotion. Emmy really didn't care to show any emotion. She had hated that the society's standards required her to stand out there and see her visitors off, she would rather be by her creek. Laurel felt much the same as Emmy and was relieved when their guest were in the motor coach and out of their lives. The girls did not even wait for the coach to be through the gate.
Fiona took a deep breath once the coach was out of sight. She turned back and looked at her house. Without the guest she could focus on her family again. A task that seemed too big for her to handle on her own. Her mother's health was decreasing by the day, she was now being confined to her room and if she could make her room and if she could make an appearance it was only to the upstairs parlor and only for a few minutes. Laurel served her grandmother diligently but had hardly spoken two words together to any one since the night that she revealed her heartache. Those word's she said that night rang through Fiona's head over and over again. Emmy had hardly done anything since Caleb left except for become a shell of her former self. Emmy would go to the creek, a place that used to be a source of delight was now the place she mourned. She would spend most of the day but the creek come back with red swollen eyes sit at the dinner table saying nothing and she barely touch her food. Miss Pembers the loyal house keeper, asked that they only serve Miss Emmy's favorites in order to entice her to eat but nothing worked. Fiona could tell that Emmy was not getting over Caleb and it was only growing worse Fiona wished she knew what to say of what to do to comfort her daughter but nothing came to mind. She only knew she could not carry this burden alone. Whenever she had a burden she turned to her dear friend Iris.
Iris Dumont and her had been friends since their school days and she always had a way of making things better than they appeared. Her father owned a nice shop that provided enough of a fortune to put Iris in the best schools, and gave some money to her name. Iris had met Alfred Dumont, the man Mrs. Cromwell had hoped would marry Fiona, at Fiona's debutant ball and was he was delighted in her delicate soft look and meek manners. After Fiona and Jefferson were firmly settled Alfred called upon Iris frequently enough that talk spread all over Boston and within six months they were engaged and another six month passed before they were married. Iris had gone from a shop girl to a woman of society. Through all this Fiona and Iris stayed very close friends after Jefferson passed away Iris took in the Cromwell girls. There would be days that Fiona could not get out of bed and Iris was there to care for them as if she was their own mother. Everyone thought it was sad that Iris had such a maternal instinct but could have no children of her own so she made the Cromwell girls her own. And to Iris there was no more important people than the Cromwell girls. When she read Fiona's letter of Laurel and Emmy's heart ache her heart pounded in pain. She wrote quickly to Fiona saying that she would be there with in a fortnight.
....
That is exactly where Laurel was. Earlier that afternoon before Iris had come Laurel had received a small parcel. She didn't want anyone to fuss over it so she took it out to the gardens before anyone noticed. She could tell instantly it was from Ethan Foster, the hand writing matched a little not he had written her before he left. Inside the parcel was a little note that stated "Miss Cromwell, I saw this in a shop the other day and thought you would enjoy." It was a little pocket book of wild flower drawings but on the front cover was the inscription "your true friend, may you never forget. -E. Foster." She read it and pressed it against her heart. Until Aunt Iris found her out in the garden she was looking through all the pages going through all the pages going back to look the inscription then would hold it to her heart again.
"There you are," Aunt Iris interrupted Laurel's train of thought.
"Aunt Iris, I had not realized you had arrived yet. I would have been there to greet you."
"Your mother and I had some things to discuss."
"You are taking Emmy and I to Boston."
"I am not taking you, I am inviting you to Boston. You are both growing up young ladies in need of seeing beyond the world of Pine Haven. You both should have a little diversion, a little culture and some new people to charm."
"How civilized you make it all sound."
"It is civilized, Boston is a splendid city with lots to do and see and some of the finest society on the east coast."
"I know what mother intends."
"She only wants your best. She is heartbroken over what has happened here this summer with you and Emmy. She thinks Boston will be good for you and I agree. But you think it over and let me know by the end of my visit."
"I have already agreed to go."
"I know, but I want you to come with me, I will not force you. You are graceful and eloquent with a perfect skill in etiquette but do not mask your pain from me. I have known you since you were a little baby, and I know a great deal of the burden you carry but do not forget to listen to your heart Laurel. Dinner is ready, come in when you want, we are going rather casual having dinner in the upstairs parlor, your mother did not want to make a big fuss."
Though Aunt Iris told her to come in when she was ready she knew the tone meant come in now. It was the same tone that Fiona used when she told her something she did not want to do. Laurel tucked the book in her little drawstring purse, and followed Aunt Iris inside.
The poem below is from my friend Sarah, who is an aspiring writer, she has been generous to share her poem with me so I can share it with you guys.
"A Heart Song"
When someday never comes When I've lost the things I won Will I turn to God and say, "How could You let it be this way?”
Sometimes moving on takes time Sometimes letting go ain't kind When I think I've made it on my own Is when I'm hurtled back before His throne
Take me, broken, as I am Fill me, heal me with your hand Nothing befalls me that You don't allow Help me to trust You even now.
Even now.
My heart is crippled and ripped open as hope is lost How long will I linger and how much will it cost? How long before I truly know it's God who loves me best? How many missed moments til I see it’s me he's blessed?
In a totally lame way, well lame to others, perfect for me, on Friday night I got Chinese Food and watched Sense and Sensibility, the TV mini-series by BBC in 2008. I was practically raised on the 1995 Sense and Sensibility with Emma Thompson, Kate Winslet and Alan Rickman and I love it but when I heard Dan Stevens, aka Matthew Crawley from Downton Abbey, was in Sense and Sensibility I had to watch this film. Fortunately for me my school library had a copy and I just awaited a good time to watch it. This weekend I knew I was going to be anti social, even though it is St. Patty's day. I have had a long week getting back in the swing of things and I have worked long hours, so Thursday I checked out the movie and got excited for Jane Austen night.
It is sometimes hard watching a new adapation of something you love so much. So this post will mostly be a comparing and contrasting of my old love and my new love of Sense and Sensibility. There are some major differences just to start off. In the beginning it starts off quickly showing the affair between Willoughby and Colonel Brandon's ward. It was a little surprising how quickly we learn of Willoghby's bad behavior when Jane Austen lets it unfold late in the plot line. But it does explain Colonel Brandon and Willoughby's disregard for each other, when we first see them interact, it is much more blunt then in 1995 version, and I could sense the hatred that loomed over them.
This minni-series was three hours long, unlike that the 1995 version that was 2 hours long, so it had more time to develop the plot, which was nice because not only did it show more of the longing of Colonel Brandon for Marianne, when they first met and how he tries to court her, it also shows their relationship develop after she recovered. I liked having this because it seems their relationship is kind of rushed in the 1995 version.
Two things that happen in the book that don't happen in the 1995 version but do in the mini-series are Edward Ferras comes to Barton Cottage for one day. At first he seems happy but as soon as Mrs. Dashwood notices the ring with a lock of hair in it, he gets out of sorts. He says he has just come from Plymouth, where Lucy Steel lives (of course in the story we don't know that yet) and I think he is either trying to determine rather he still loves Elinor, which he does, or he is going to tell her about Lucy.
Edward at Barton Cottage, chopping wood to work out his anger
{pic}
The other thing that happens in the book is that Willoughby comes to see Marianne when she is sick, and tells Elinor, he really did care for Marianne. I have a friend who hates that this was left out of the 1995 version, I never liked this part of the story so I am glad it wasn't included. It is included in the minni-series but I still don't care for it because Willoughby throws himself a pity party, being stuck in a loveless marriage, but I don't feel sorry for him and I just want him to go away. Also Mr. Willoughby is not very handsome in this version and he doesn't seem to charm any one but Marianne. But I do think you can see his deceitfulness right away.
Some things I did like about this version was that the characters look more age appropriate. Marianne is suppose to be sixteen going on seventeen, and no offense to Kate Winslet it is hard buying her as a sixteen year old girl. Also I think it was interesting that in this version Marianne wears her hair either down or in a looser style, I think it shows off her more "wild" or "passionate" side.
But my favorite thing about this version was Dan Stevens playing Edward Ferrars. As much as I like the awkward and blinking Edward played by Hugh Grant; I absolutely adore Dan Stevens. I love him as Matthew Crawley in Downton Abbey and he made a wonderful Edward Ferrars. While he wasn't as awkward as Hugh Grant he did a good job of capturing my heart.
Some things I did not like is that there was no Alan Rickman as Colonel Brandon and I love Alan Rickman. If they had a movie with Dan Stevens and Alan Rickman, I would be very happy.
