Our Heroines

I can't believe it I have just passed 100 pages in typing my story... whoa that feels huge! In my post on Friday I mentioned how I feel ashamed about my writing because I have never finished a story. Well I have never gotten this far in a story either and it feels like I am making this huge step in my writing life. I hope you will  check out my full post on my other blog Sisters of Pine Haven having this space and my lovely readers has really kept me going in my story so thank you so much.

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If the heroine of this story was Kathryn James this would be a lovely end but heroines of this story sat in the third row of the church on grooms side, though in reality Emmy felt closer to Kathryn her own cousin. She took in all the beauty of the day and made sure to take active mental notes so she could write back to her mother in full detail. The ceremony was traditional, nothing to go into great detail about. Kathryn and Nicholas had five attendants on both side. Kathryn didn't have any sisters so her cousins and two friends schools stood to her side wearing matching crimson dresses, to complement the autumn colors and holding a smaller bouquet of white roses much like Kathryn's. Nicholas had Ethan Foster, Caleb James and three other friends standing next to him wearing their finest morning suits in a very traditional manor with tails.

            After the wedding Victoria Danford untraditionally threw a luncheon for the couple with the family and close friends. Even though it was just a luncheon it was a very formal meal with multiple courses. In very modern fashion Victoria served French cuisine that had become popular to serve all over Europe and the finest families in America. The newlyweds stayed through the meal then took off to train station. Kathryn told Emmy that they would go to New York than take a cruise line over to Italy and they planned to stay there at least till spring. Kathryn had never been to Italy and gushed over everything she wanted to see while they were there. Emmy was happy for Kathryn but was a little jealous as she had never been anywhere and wished she could be going to Europe. Once the couple left the party started to break up but Victoria insisted that the Cromwell girls stay around. She felt guilty that they spent so little time together after all they were family. Emmy rolled her eyes at the idea of family obligation.

            "I can stay if you like?" Brandon said seeing Emmy rolling her eyes.

            "Oh no Mrs. James you are too kind."

            " It is no problem I want to be useful to you."

            "Thank you Mrs. James."

            Emmy took a look around the room and did not see Caleb who she really wanted to see.

            "Are you all right?" Brandon asked noticing Emmy looked distracted.

            "Yes, fine I was just wondering where your brother is?"

            "He told me he had to go back to his mother's house to get some work done. Work on his sister's wedding day can you imagine?"

            "He must be very busy."

            Brandon could tell Emmy was still in love with Caleb just in the tone of her voice.

            "Yes his business keeps him quite occupied. Excuse me, Miss Emmy, I see Mrs. James waiving at me, she might want to leave."

            "Of course it has been a long day."

            Mrs. James did not really waive him over but he had to walk away. He could not see why Emmy still loved his brother when he has been nothing but cold to her since he left Pine Haven. Brandon had done everything he could think of to show Emmy how much he cared but she only had eyes for Caleb. That Monday Brandon went to the Ambassador to make plans to go back to England. But for today he left making his apologies to the hostess and Mrs. James but said nothing to Emmy.

            Laurel did not have a grand time at the luncheon either. Ethan Foster kept his distance, she tried to talk to him but he kept getting flustered. They used to talk for hours together now though she could not think of what to say leading to some awkward silent moments. Then he left the party shortly after Nicholas and Kathryn left. She wanted to leave then too and hated that there was family obligation to stay because Aunt Victoria felt guilty.

            The party was hardly a success for our heroines and with that in mind they would never have expect the following events. However without these events the story would not exist.

To read more click here

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Baking Blaire

I dedicate this post to my roommate.

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As much as I pretend to one day be a baker... I don't bake, which is sad because I have a pinterest board dedicated to all the things I would like to make. I call it "Culinary School here I come". But I am not really a baker a good example of this I bought a cake mix box and it said 3 tablespoons of oil, I had to call my step-mom to ask what kind of oil they meant... I mean a baker doesn't have to ask they just know. 

Sometimes this is how I feel about cooking/baking...

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Any way the reason I am baking and the reason I dedicate this post to my roommate is because I have eggs in the house. If you know me, you know I HATE eggs, so I never buy them, but my roommate who has gone back home for 3 weeks left me eggs and told me I should use them... great what am I going to do with eggs,  I thought, then I thought "oooohhhh I can bake". So I went to my grocery store after work and grabbed a coffee cake mix box. (I guess a baker wouldn't grab a cake mix box.) But at the bottom of the normal recipe there was a recipe for "Cinnamon Apple Snack Cake" well I did my own twist to that 1 on accident but 3 on purpose.

pre-baking getting ingredients 

1 package of Pillsbury® Quick Bread Cinnamon Swirl

1/2 cup sour cream- accident 1 didn't see that this was an ingredient until I was mixing so I use 3 table spoons of oil that original recipe called for.

1/3 cup of water.

2 eggs

1 cup apple, peeled, chopped- twist I am not a big apple fan... I mean I didn't even like apple pie till  a few years ago so I used pears. (I love pears)

1/2 cup chopped nuts...twist- I still had pecans from my Pecan Pies so I used those. 

Twist- Also I really loved cinnamon so I used some scattered on top of the first layer. 

So here I go baking. I don't want to break any laws so I am not going to post all the instructions but they are on the box. 

1. Pour about 1/2 of cake batter ( about 1 1/4 cups) for me it was a little bit more.

2. Sprinkle the cup of the chopped pears. 

3.Sprinkle the chopped nut. Since I used pecans I didn't need to chop them pecans easily break apart, so don't waste time on the cutting board with them... it makes a bigger mess.

4. My Twist- Shake some Cinnamon on top of the pears and pecans.

5. Sprinkle 3/4 of the crumble on top of all this.

6. Pour rest of cake batter on top of all of this. Spread carefully to cover.

7. Sprinkle rest of crumble and pecans on top.

8. Bake at 350°F for 50 to 60 minutes. I have a really small oven and it cooks quicker than recipes usually state so I cooked it for only 45 minutes. While this was baking I cleaned my dishes, and worked on this post. 

Fresh out of the oven

9. Cool completely in pan. So I sit and wait more... you have to really be dedicated to bake. 

Sorry I forgot to take picture of it before I cut into it... I got hungry. And I must say it was a good piece though they could have put more icing in the packet.

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Well that is all for my baking this time... since I still have a few more weeks before summer school maybe I will bake other things.

Side Note: have a good play list going as you are baking.

Writer's Feelings

I love reading blogs on writing... so here is my Friday's Feature for this week.

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Last year when I picked up blogging again the first blogger I came across was Sarah now at Well and Cheaply her blog inspired me to be a better blogger. So I think it is only appropriate to feature her this week. In her post "I'm a writer" she writes about the guilt she faces for not being a published writer.

So, I haven't actually talked about the fact that I'm a writer on this blog yet.  And while I like to consider this a "lifestyle blog," which sort of gives me the freedom to write about whatever the hell I want, I also hope for this space to be a writer's blog.  Before I start talking about my writing here though, I have something else I'm afraid to tell you:

The other day, my mom was asking me about my writing in a completely supportive and interested way.  And I just didn't want to talk about it.  Finally, she said, "why are you acting defensive?  Is it the question's I'm asking?"  And I couldn't answer her.  I knew she was right, I knew I was acting defensive and yet, why?

The conversation stuck in my head for a long time, and I was trying to figure out what was going on.  I think that I've come to a place where my relationship with writing -while I'm very passionate about it, is steeped in guilt and shame.  All of this guilt and shame has to do with not being published.  And I think I spend my time telling myself that I don't really feel this way.  And yet, when my mom asks me about my writing I get defensive because if I really let my guard down, I know I'd just start crying.

To read more click here

Since she came out about her guilt for not being published. I will come out about my feelings about writing. I feel ashamed about my writing. I have been writing stories since I was a little girl, I can't remember when I wasn't writing. But the truth is as much as I envision myself as a writer more specifically a novelist I have never finished a story. All my life I have filled notebooks maybe half way through then got inspired by another idea and I would drop the notebook and move onto another story. I think when I was in high school my mom got fed up with all these notebooks and started throwing them away (rightly so). Because I have never finished a story, I don't really come out and tell people I am a writer, it takes me awhile to feel comfortable with them to let them know that my passion in life is writing. Writing is a very vulnerable process for me, as I am sure it is with most writers, my stories are my own little world and letting some one in that space is very hard for me.

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For a long time I would write stories and never let anyone read them. I was embarrassed by my horrible spelling skills and grammar is hard for me as well. How can I be a writer if I can't spell or even properly construct a sentence? 

I guess I am also embarrassed by my writings. They are definitely written from a hopeful romantic perspective, who idealizes the past and wishes that first loves would be life time loves. I guess my writings always seemed a little silly or foolish in the world of serious literature but this is the world I escape to. It is my happy place, I guess if I was to put a picture to my happy place this would be it...

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But if I didn't write I think I would feel a void. With this blog and all the love and support I have gotten through writing it I am more willing to let people into my world. Though sometimes it is hard to let people in so sorry if I don't come right out and share my passion with you.   

Right now I am really pushing myself to finish my current story even if it never gets published I want to say I finished writing a story The Sisters of Pine Haven. 

I saw this on Pinterest and thought it was good inspiration to end this post...

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Writing Wednesday

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"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed."

-Hemingway

I got to a part in my story where I couldn't think of where to go next. I mean I knew what I wanted to say but I couldn't think of how to write it. In order to get inspiration I read back through what I had already written. One thing I noticed was that I left out some words, one time I used the word "hose" when I meant to write "host" and in my post Afternoon Tea  I realized I totally copied and pasted wrong from my word document. First I am sorry readers for this mistake. If you go to that post now it is all set up properly. Tonight I got through 3 post out of the 25 written for my blog is Sisters of Pine Haven but I will get through some more over the coming weeks before summer classes start. 

Here is a preview of the updated Afternoon Tea...

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It was in these woods Miss Pembers knew to look for Emmy when the household was expecting Mrs. Melbourne and her eligible son Mr. Melbourne for tea. 

“Miss Emmy you have been outside long enough it is time for tea and your mother insist you come outside.” 

“I don’t want to be involved in anything where Laurel throws herself at the boring man Mr. Melbourne is.” 

“I seriously doubt Miss Laurel will throw herself at anyone, it would be in-proper and your sister has a higher sense of propriety then anyone I know. Now come or I shall send Helena to get you.” 

Helena was Grandma Danford’s cook who had no problem disciplining the girls into good behavior with a wooden spoon, Emmy suffered the worst for it. She was hardly the a model of good behavior from her unkempt hair, dirty finger nails and stockings sometimes covered in mud. Mother would only allow Helena to give Emmy one or two hits but Emmy still felt the blows to be fatal. With the threat of Helena’s wooden spoon Emmy climbed down from her rock and dusted herself off before presenting herself to Miss Pembers. 

“And where are your shoes.”

“One can hardly climb with those little boots on, I would slip and break my neck.”

“Your Grandmother would break your neck knowing you walked outside barefoot. It is a good thing you have yet to wear long dresses you would ruin all of the with your childish ways.”

“I am not a child.”

“Well you are certainly not acting like a girl of sixteen. Playing in the woods, day dreaming and losing yourself in your world of make believe.”

“I like my world it is more interesting then this world.”

“Hush your mouth. You have all beauty and luxury around you. You are lucky to have such a fortunate family. There are girls in orphanages who dream of having what you have.”

Emmy wanted to remind Miss Pembers that none of the beauty and luxury was hers to do with what she would. If it was she would sale everything and explore the world. It all belonged to her Grandma and then it would go to uncle and the girls would receive nothing. She wanted to remind Miss Pembers of all that but know when Miss Pembers let her Irish accent slop she was about to let her hot temp out. So Emmy kept her mouth shut.

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