Asking for Bravery and Wisdom

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Dear Anne,
I know I wrote my last letter to you just a few days ago but being out of school has left me with a lot of time to question my life and my faith. 

Do not worry I will not be using this letter to talk about the movie Brave, I just thought it was a cute picture to start off my letter. Actually I will be talking more about this verse...

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A couple of weeks ago in my bible study we talked about the story in Acts 19 where Paul goes to speak boldly in the synagogue. After reading that I told the group I have a hard time being open about being a Christian. Some people find it hard to share their faith because they are afraid they won't be liked or that someone will ask them a question they don't know the answer to. I am not afraid for those reasons, I mean in college I was but now I have come to realize people don't really care if I am a Christian as long as I don't shove my beliefs down their throats. Also I know I won't have the answer to every question because honestly who would. The most important question I feel like someone could ask me is "why you believe?" and to that I would say "Because at the end of the day He is the only one that makes sense of my life. When I feel things falling apart I know He will be there to hold it together."  

So why am I scared ? Because I don't want to be thought of  as someone who would waive signs that say "God Hates..."  or to be associated with people like the Westboro Baptist Church. I feel like these people do harm to us as group of Christians and to the Kingdom of God.  To be honest I think God only hates sin because it causes separation from Him and he is perfect. When God made the world He called it good. And that goodness, I have been told is equivalent to word completeness. I have yet to read where God says he hates a group of people. Even when He calls down wrath to the Israel it is not because He hates them it is because He hates their sin and punishing them for it and teaching them to be better people. But I honestly don't think as a mere mortal we can say what God hates... all we know is what God loves and that is all people because when He made Adam and Eve the Bible says..
So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them;
    male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27 

It goes further to say in Psalm to say..
For you created my inmost being;    you knit me together in my mother’s womb. Psalm 139:13 (a personal favorite) 

And we all know the classic verse John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16 

There are more verses to quote but from my point of view there seems to be more arguments for God's love than God's hate. 

Anyway, back to my original point. I guess I hide my beliefs because I am afraid of people thinking I am judgmental and a hater... which I don't think I am. And now having wrote this I think most my co-workers know I am a Christian mostly because I talk about going to church, bible study, and they know I don't swear. One co-worker says I am on "Team G-O-D." But I wish they could know my heart. And in that I wish I could be more brave.  

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This is outside of my church back home in Oklahoma (First Baptist Church of Moore) and these guys are blocking the Westboro protesters at the funeral of tornado victims... I really like this picture.   

After writing about God's love and reflecting on these verse I question...what do I fear? What holds me back? I want to be bold like Paul but I don't think I have a very bold spirit. I always shy away confrontation, so I am hoping to grow. I am having good practice I have a co-worker that frequently asks me about my faith and what I believe. I do so pray and hope I am giving the right answers and I do so pray to grow in strength and wisdom. 

Sorry these last few letters have not come to any real conclusion... I have more questions sometimes than answers. 

My love, 
Blaire

As I finished this letter I found this on pinterest...

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Tune for Tuesday

I have had this song stuck in my head for a couple of days.

Song: Home

By: Phillips Phillips

Searching for connection

Dear Anne,

I have been feeling a little disconnected from things. During school I was so wrapped up in finals but now that school is over my brain still feels a little foggy. I think one problem is, is that I am too wrapped up in my own brain. I admit I get so focused on my own problems that I can forget what is going on in other peoples lives, I hope this doesn't sound selfish.  

Lately my church has been going through a series on Discipleship and one thing I have really been struck by is how much discipleship has to do with other people. I guess I should not be surprised by this especially since Jesus was the ultimate servant and was always involved in working with others. But the series has left me wondering, how can I serve. I do serve at my church with the nursery and what we call hospitality but it doesn't feel to be enough. 

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After the Boston Marathon Bombing I thought about giving blood as you know I hate shots and needles, so that seemed like a big deal, but over a month has gone by and I have not done it. Now with another home of mine in the middle of pain and destruction (Oklahoma) ... I feel I must do something. Being so far away and being in my usual mindset of blocking things out I could easily go on with life as if nothing happened. But I don't want to. 

I don't know where this originates as I found it on Facebook

As you know I have been going through some valleys in my walk with God and I am really trying to change that. Now that I am back from vacation with my mom and I don't have any "out of the normal plans" I am starting a 30 day bible/devotional reading plan. But I am thinking about what type of service I can do. I am still really thinking of giving blood... is that enough? 

I don't have an answer to that yet but I want to do good in this world. 

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Besides working with the children at the church nursery and going down to Honduras last year and hopefully next year, I have never really felt called to serve some place. When people talk about "spiritual gifts" I never know what to say. And without an answer I feel like I am little lost in where to serve or what to do. 

 Any way I guess I don't have a good conclusion to this post. I am just hoping through serving others I will feel more connected.   

Love,

Blaire

Rainy day in Boston

Opening scene to "Midnight in Paris"

It is kind of a rainy day here in Boston. In my romantic or idealistic way I love the rain (as long as it is not a down pour). My parents just got back from Europe (celebrating their 20th anniversary) and my step-mom told me it rained in both London and Paris. I said "It is suppose to rain in Paris, haven't you seen Sabrina." (I hope she knows I meant that as a joke. I have never been to Paris but I have been to London and when we have a nice rainy day here I think fondly of London.

So to my friends in Boston (or any where it is raining) I hope you are having a nice "London rainy day."