A new cover...

{pic}

One of my favorite things when I get really into a story I am writing is to find an image and to think I want that for my cover (if I could). For my last story Sisters of Pine Haven I found the one below. Now for my story Rose Gray (working title) I found the above picture.

I know most of my story takes place in pre-WWI and will go into WWI .This 1920's hat is not very appropriate for the time period (I know) but I feel the 1920's is when my character will step beyond her comfort zone and be the heroine we desire.

Side Note: If my working title is Rose Gray does that make anyone think of 50 Shades of Grey? I have never read them (and I never will) but I don't want a reader to think my book is closely related to that. Let me know your thoughts.

I do not own these pictures so I know they probably will not be my cover art but I do like them and I find them very inspiring. I can't wait to one day be published and get to chose the art work for my cover.

Not forsaken pt. 1

#Notforsaken

Have you ever heard something that even though it wasn't directed at you, you feel it is meant directed at you. Well this Sunday I had that moment. My church had a sermon today on the words Jesus cries out on the cross: "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46 or Mark 15:14)

I know on this blog I  have spoken about some of the harder times I am going through right now in my life and I have often wondered "why is this happening to me?", "why am I going through this pain?",  "what is this all for?".

Before I get to the sermon (part 2). I have wanted to share this prayer I wrote the other day... then I will get to the sermon (and I will explain the picture).

Read Psalm 88

Dear Lord, 

I know you have not rejected me or left me in a pit. You are here with me. You have have not hidden yourself from me. I have turned from you. I have pushed you out so far I cannot feel you. Oh Lord my God I know you will not abandon me. I know you hold me close. Lord, I am suffering and I feel my world is falling apart and I can't get anything right... Lord, I am sorry for my doubts. Oh Lord as much as I know your ways are perfect and as much I know your for me. Lord I felt you placed certain desires in my life and those desires are so far from me. Lord and the thought that they may not come has left me in this pit of questioning the point of my life. Lord, I know you make no mistakes, you created me almost 27 years ago for a reason. you had a design and a goal for my life but I have no clue what that is... Lord and having no clue has left wandering and feeling helpless. Lord in all this I have pushed you out. I have pushed you far away from me. I have taken all these negatives and tried to fix them on my own... I keep thinking I can fix things but I am so far from able. Lord I need you.

Lord I need your light and your presence to guide my feet. I need strength to hold on to me when I am weak. Lord I need your love to remind me I am not alone. All those aspects you have in abundance. Oh Lord my God save me. I do not want  to walk through pain. Lord my God, save me from my doubts, save me from my loneliness. Lord you are perfect. Shape me and mold me. 

Lord thank you for all the blessings you have given me. Thank you for all the support and love you have given me. Lord I know I am not ever truly alone. 

Amen

God is Near

By: Rend Collective Experiment 

I have been listening to this song a lot and it is a great reminder of how God will never leave me.

Thankful for

If you have been reading my "Dear Anne" letters you will know I have been in a kind of negative place. Well at the advice of my dear friend who I call my "Boston Mom" she reminds me of the things I am thankful for... So to share them with you I wanted to make a collage. I couldn't post all the pictures I wanted but this is a good reminder....

1. My family: They have always been supportive of me and it wasn't until I moved to Boston that I realized how much I need them. 

2. My friends: The random dance parties, our trips together, going to the movies, and being a shoulder to cry on.

3. My older sister: Who has always been looking out for me. 

4. My relationship with my dad: We weren't that close during my teen years but now I feel I can turn to him for everything.

5. My relationship with my mom: We have our ups and downs but I know she loves me and is always supporting my dreams wherever they can take me.

6. Being an aunt: I love being an aunt to my sister's kids and my best friend's baby. I have been told I will love my kids more than my niece and nephew but I love them so much and they have brighten up my life. 

7. Hope: No matter how dark things might get there is always hope. 

No fight left

No Fight Left

By: JJ Heller.

Dear Anne,

I am sorry it has been so long since I have written. I could easily blame Grad-School but considering I have had no motivation to do anything in school, I cannot really say that. The last couple of weeks I have felt my life going down hill. I even wrote you about how I was focusing on the good things in my life, I thought that letter would keep me up-beat. I am sad to say that it has not. I have even reached out to my "support team" (close family/friends) for them to pray for me and the response I have gotten has been so heart warming, I have felt truly loved but some how my heart an mind keep dwelling on the bad and I just see my life as a downward spiral (as much as I smile and pretend to be all right). I even questioned if I belonged to him since I kept having these times in my life where I was low and discouraged.


Well over the past couple of weeks my church has been going through the book of Jonah. He is mostly known for Jonah and the Whale but that is so little part of the story. When Jonah goes to Nineveh (the bad guys) and after little convincing they repent and our saved from destruction. The story goes further but I am going to stop right there. Both Jonah and the people of Nineveh had turned away from God and both were saved by God's never ending grace. At the end of the sermon my pastor said "there is nothing you can do to out run God's grace". As awesome as that statement is I will admit I didn't go right home and immediately go to God (as I should have done) but later Sunday night as I was brushing my teeth I read the verse taped near my mirror.

"Find rest O my soul in God; my hope alone comes from Him" (Psalm 62:5)

{pic}

And I thought, "how little do I consider God my hope." I have this verse written in multiple places and I never really consider God my Hope. I know God has saved me and I know God wants the best for me but how little do I actually think about God's hope and grace. Then as I was sitting and \
praying, I realized I keep underestimating God's grace. God's majestic saving and healing powers. 

I wrote that first part and then during my weekly phone date with my dad, I just couldn't hold back the tears anymore. He was just talking about how I was doing so well, I was climbing Mount Everest (in Grad-School) and I am at the last 10% and this is the hard part. I told him I didn't feel I was climbing Mount Everest I felt I was going a downward spiral to no where. I hate standing some days and I just want to hide and cry. 

I realize I am much like Jonah in the whale. I am going through a hard time and as easy as it would be for me to just retreat and sulking in my distress. I need to turn to God and  find my hope in him. Right now this is easier said than done.

Today I read Psalm 86 and it was exactly what I need to read. So while I am still in this low place, I need to remember God is with me. I just wish I felt Him more. 

I liked verse 5-7
{pic}

Sorry this letter is a bit scattered... it reflects my state of being right now. 

Thanks for reading.

Yours,

Blaire
P.S. Is it bad that I just want to spend the day eating chocolate and staying in my PJ's?