A Relaxing New Year's Day

Previews of my writings...

Before the Ball 

"A ball how wonderful," Gloria said dancing around the table.

           

"Indeed but Mrs. Taylor hardly needs advice on how to throw a ball, she has thrown the same summer eve ball for the last six years, she must be a seasoned pro."

            "But Miss James must know all the latest trends when it comes to balls," Emmy said to her mother. "She is so well cultured."

            "Yes indeed she seems to have a way of making friends where ever she goes. Nicholas could not have chosen a better partner."

            "Partner? Mother, you make it sound like a business."

            "It is in some respects, and not an easy one."

            "But a marriage should not be a business?"

            "Only in some respects, you will discover a great deal more about it when you get married."

            "If I get married."

            "You must have hope dear Emmy you are only sixteen."

            "You met father when you were seventeen and married him by twenty."

            "Four years is a long time you still get plenty of time," Fiona kissed her daughter on the forehead. 

            "Yes mother."

            Emmy didn't know then if she ever wanted to get married and she didn't know if she was to morn or rejoice over it. She wanted to passion that was for sure but she also wanted adventure, to see the world and everything in it but how could one do that and be a wife and mother? At sixteen she didn't have the answer.

            Gloria distracted her thoughts for awhile as she begged their mother to go to the ball.

            "Are you mad? You are far too young."

            "I will be thirteen soon."

            "Thirteen is still far too young."

            "But?"

            "You will just have to wait till you're older."

            "When will I ever be old enough to do anything."

            Gloria crossed her arms and fell into a chair slumping further than appropriate.

            Fiona turned to Emmy "I think though Emmy you are old enough. You are sixteen and Laurel went to her first ball at sixteen."

            "But I barely know how to dance and I have nothing to wear."

            "Well I can teach you more and you can borrow one Laurel's dress. You just have to promise to be careful with it."

            "Oh I will."

            "Good then its settled, Emmy will be going to her first ball," without keeping a beat seeing Gloria's sad puppy look "and you will go when you are sixteen and not a moment sooner."

            Gloria sighed.

            The girls had a mostly quiet afternoon until a surprise gift came for Emmy more flowers a beautiful arrangement from Miss Dashwood's nursery in town. The card did not say who they were from giving the house mild gossip over dinner time.

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Emmy's Fluttering Heart 

That night at dinner everyone noticed the change in Emmy. Even Caleb who took a shine to her and insist that play a hand of cards together and as no one would join in they were left in conversation to themselves Emmy kept doing as Kathryn told her to do and she did glow as Kathryn had predicted. By the end of the game Caleb had requested two dance with her.

            "Well done Miss James," Julia said to Kathryn. "It looks like you might have a new sister."

            "No Caleb is a good brother but he gets amused quickly and then fleets away even quicker. Though I do think she will break more hearts than she realizes."

            "I doubt it, the family has no money."

            "Money hardly matters when it comes to matters of the heart," Kathryn said taking a sip of her champagne cocktail.

            "Besides Aunt Fiona will never let her marry till Laurel is well settled. All their hope depend upon Laurel marrying well."

            "Yes do you know of any attachment for Laurel, she seems so distant."

            "There was a young man the family had hoped would propose but nothing came of it."

            "How sad."

            "Yes it is, Laurel was so alive when he was around."

            "Well we must find someone to replace that man perhaps Nicholas has a friend I could math them up when they come to Boston. Both of them would do well out of the house."

            "You are so kind Kathryn it makes me wish I had such a generous nature," Julia took a large swig of her drink and left Kathryn's side nothing she said was going to un-charm Kathryn away from the Cromwell girls.

            By the time of the ball it seemed Caleb and Emmy were hardly inseparateble. He taught her how to drive around the driveway and he took a keen interest in being shown the woods. As they could not convince anyone else to go out on their walks they were often alone. Emmy loved theses moments alone with him. She imagined them being caught in rain storm with no place to run for shelter, the air would smell fresh as it always did during a summer rain, and he would kiss her. But they were never caught in a rainstorm and when they walked together he was always a gentleman not standing too close to her. He would offer her his hand if they had rocks to step over but would never hold onto to her longer than needed. Those times with Caleb were far better than any moment she had had with a crush and figured this was what ultimately true love; like Guinevere and Lancelot or Romeo and Juliet except a lot less violence and no death, Emmy told herself.

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Happy New Years!

Just get me through December

A promise I'll remember

Get me through December

So I can start again

I have loved this song for a few months but as it is a New Year I feel as if I can start again. 

I know I will make mistakes but I really don't want to look back at this year and see regrets. 

And I will remember...

My not so New Years Resolutions

Hello Lovely readers,

I have been trying to think of things to write since Christmas. During the fall I was really examining my life but lately the rush of completing the semester and the Christmas season I haven't really had much time to examine things. But now is the time to think of New Years resolutions. 

My friend was telling me she doesn't really care about New Years as it makes her look back on this year past. I told her I like New Years because I like to think of things I want to see different or better next year at this time of the year. I wouldn't really say they are resolutions. I mean usually resolutions sound like 

• get in shape
• stop smoking 
• save more money
• pray more

Well first I don't smoke and never will. I could get more in shape it is not on my list. I also could also save more though in grad school it seems hard but if I can save I do. Also I could pray more. I have been working on my relationship with God but it is not perfect... so this is on my list.

But the number one thing on my list is to staring at the rear view mirror of my life. I do this a lot and sometimes I can hold on to the past to much I forget to live in the moment. I also judge the present by the past, which means I don't allow the present to be just itself. 

And as I was trying to think of something to write... I found this song. 

I have recently been trying to discover new music and I have fallen in love with a few groups to name one She & Him. If you don't know them it has Zooey Deschanel and M. Ward and they have a fun sound I love. 

But back to the song... there is a line in the chorus that says "don't look back, all you'll ever get is the dust from the steps before" that part stuck out to me. It made me think I need to shake off the dust from my past and embrace the present.

I know we have to learn from the past but we can't hold on to it so tight we don't have a future. God gave us the present to actually be present in the moment. So this year I want to live more in the present. This will be hard for me if I am not holding on to the past I pine away for the future. I am a single grad student who wants to be in a relationship and done with school.  Right now my life is so blessed and God has put me in my current situations for a reason and he will bring me to the future he wants even if it is no what I planned or dream about. 

This isn't really a post about New Years Resolutions this more setting a goal not just year but for years to come. Like any goal I will need accountability, encouragement and little reminders. I hope you, my lovely readers, will continue to be there for me.

Merry Christmas!

Welcome Mr. Caleb James

Okay I have gotten a lot typing done... woo hoo. I wrote on my last post on this story I had 16,000+ words now 18,000+ words.

Here is my preview to The Introduction to Caleb James 

Summer had begun to turn from cool mornings to warm afternoons back to cool evenings to just warm all the time. Sometimes it was almost unbearable to stand. Emmy one day needed a break and went down to cool herself off by standing in her creek. Since Kathryn James had arrived she had spent little time in her imaginary world so that day when the women were taking their usual afternoon naps Emmy snuck out and headed to the creek.

            The clouds were grey and the air smelt like rain. Emmy knew the smell well and knew it meant a storm was coming on but instead of being sensible and staying in she took her chances and headed out with no protection. The creek and the woods were peaceful and she lost track of time out there it was almost dusk before she realized it. Her feet were still wet from her last wade in so she decided to walk home barefoot.

            Little did she know nature or fate (as she later called it) was conspiring against or for her. For the last hour she had felt an occasional drop of rain but paid no attention to it. But it seemed as soon as she left her rock a dark cloud rolled over her and sent the storm she had long been smelling. She wrapped her arms around her book and ran quickly through the woods to Glenmoore field where she knew a little fort was built to protect drivers on the road from the rain such as this. This little fort would be faster to get to than the house and she would have a warmer reception at the empty fort then at her home, where she was sure to get a lecture both from Grandma Danford and Laurel and a sad look from her mother. She knew they would act as if it was her fault for it to be raining and they would both be upset she had snuck out and acted in a child like manor. Emmy remembered a time when Laurel would chase rainbows with her just to see what was on the other side. She remembered how fun Laurel was once and how she had as big of an imagination as Emmy did but now it all seemed like a distant past. Then it happened, fate, being lost in her remembrance she hadn't realized there was a little rock up ahead waiting for her to lose her footing. And she stumbled and was not able to catch herself. She was later not able to tell people how she fell all she knew was one moment she was running the next she was rolling down a hill trying to stop herself. And that’s when fate, or Caleb James, stepped in.

            He had been driving through to this desolate town at his sisters request when his engine stopped working. And his engine had stopped working then as he was tinkering on his engine it started raining. He saw the fort in the field and trumped towards it and with each step he sunk into the mud. Then it happened he saw a girl running through the field with almond hair and slender figure, he thought she almost looked like a deer. Next thing he knew she lost her footing and fell forward crashing into the ground and rolling down towards him. He picked up his feet from the mud and rushed towards her.

            She barely realized what happened, she could feel her head throbbing the fall was harder than she realized. She felt as every ounce of air was out of her and her lungs felt as if they collapsed.

            "Miss, Miss, are you all right?" A man asked.

            She could not answer him.

            "Are you all right?" he asked again.

             "I, I" she could say anymore.

            "Here give me your arm," he took her left arm and draped it around his neck and scooped her up.

            In his arms she felt as light as a feather.

            "A Danford I assume."

            "Cromwell."

            "Oh Miss Cromwell my sister has written me about you."

            "Emmy."

            "Well Miss Emmy, it is a pleasure to meet you. May I take you home."

            "Thank you."

            Laurel was working on her needle point near the window it was the best light in the parlor. Mother and Aunt Victoria were chatting idly and she had lost her focus on her needle point and was absentmindedly staring out the window. When she saw him,  a stranger, carrying her sister up the drive.

            "Mother?!"

            "What?" Fiona jumped out her seat, startled by her daughters scream.

            "A man has Emmy!"

            "What?" A dash to the window "who is he?"

            "I don't know!"

            Both Fiona and Laurel dashed to the front door. They began to run outside but he was already in the main door.

            "What happened?" Fiona asked flustered.

            " I am alright mother. I fell a bit."

            "Yes mam, I made sure she was all right before I lifted her, just had the air knock out of her and maybe some bruises."

            "She fell?"

            "Yes I lost footing. But I am fine, my head hurts a bit."

            "Come to the couch, I will fetch you both some tea," Laurel said as Fiona escorted them a mad rush.

            Caleb placed Emmy on the chaise as Fiona ran to get her daughter blankets. He took the seat next to her but when Fiona came in with Fiona came in with the blankets he got hop and let Fiona take the seat next to her daughter. Emmy tried to act calm but she could feel him staring at her and she felt flustering.

            "We are so thankful Mr.-"

            "James. Mr. Caleb James."

            "James? Mr. Brandon James and Miss James' brother?" Fiona asked.

            "The very same."

            "We were not expecting you till later this week."

            "Well I was able to get away sooner than I thought. But I do hope my early arrival is not an imposition."

            "No, no not at all. We have plenty of rooms to fill."

            "It just I am sure Miss James will be sad she and Julia  have gone out to call Miss Hester, she is the minister's daughter and runs a small school for under privileged children. She spoke on Sunday and your sister was quite motivated by the story. Your sister is so generous."

            "Yes always has been."

            Caleb stood when Laurel came in with the tea and Fiona quickly explained that the hero of the moment was Brandon and Kathryn's brother.

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