Tune for Tuesday

Song: Orange Sky

By: Alexi Murdoch

I know this song is old but it is my new favorite song. I love the words of the chorus that say "in your love my salvation lies" there is just something completely beautiful about that sentiment and is very true for my walk with God. Just thought I would share a little blurb today. 

Hope an act of waiting

I like this picture for hope
{Pic}

Hope is an interesting word. In church and in the bible we are told to hope in the Lord. I have long to struggled with the idea what this idea truly means. When I was in my most serious relationship I knew what it was like to hope in our relationship and hoped that one day we would get marry. But that did not work out and when we broke up I felt like I had lost all hope.

Lately I have been trying to piece together what it actually means to have hope in God. I have been reading the verses listed in my concordance that use the word hope, it has been a very interesting study. But through the study I have still tried to anchor my hope to something tangible. I know what it is like to hope in a relationship, hope that my paper gets an A, and hope that I get what I want for Christmas. But those things may or may not happen and they might be a little silly things to hope for (well the last one is) and they might not be exactly what I need.  But God is not tangible he is wonderfully mind boggling. I don't always understand what, why and how he works but I know his works are for wonderful and glorious things. Also things always work out the way he wants them.

Last week my friend who has some bad news in her life told me "God only has our best in mind." That saying has been a real catalyst for a change in my bible study. Today I wrote in my prayer "Lord, I feel so blessed here in Boston, even though I feel so small, Lord you are here with me and beside me. Lord you are always guiding me to my best. Lord I hope in that best, I long for it and I have no idea what is. But since you always have my best in mind and since you are always with me." I know I do not need to worry when things will come about.

I think for me that is what hoping in the Lord means. I have no idea how this life will work out but I know God has my best in mind so I need not worry about when things will come about.

Attempting Jane Austen

{pic}

I have been trying to write a story much in the way of Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility, as it is one of my favorite stories, but I have taken some creative liberality with the story. I do hope that my readers will be okay with that. I want to stick with the basic idea but in order to stay true to my voice have decided to change some of the plot points.

This scene is one of my creative liberalities... Laurel, the eldest gets sick, this is to motivate Emmy growing up a bit. In this scene Emmy has gone back home to fetch mother with Ethan Foster's help.

I love the picture below (even though it is the wrong era for my story) it reminds me of Emmy sneaking off into her woods.

{pic}

Emmy could not recount all the word she said to her mother she just remembered falling into her mother's arms weeping. They had arrived after dinner so it was too late to start back to Boston but Mrs. Pembers had the cook make them a light meal but Emmy ate only two bites before she felt sick to her stomach. The next day Fiona spent the day making arrangements for Gloria to stay at a friend's house and she made sure a nurse and doctor were on call in case anything happened to Grandma Danford. Mrs. Pembers said she could handle everything but Fiona felt better knowing the house was well maintained. Emmy still didn't eat much of any meals and went to bed right after dinner exhausted from not being able to sleep the last couple of nights. She still could sleep though and until the sun rose. She just paced the floor. Once the sun was up she got dressed, did her hair and snuck outdoors to her woods, the only place she felt she could get peace.

            "Ah Miss Emmy there you are," Mr. Foster said finding her in the woods.

            "What are you doing here?"

            "Your mother sent me looking for you. She said you would be here?"

            "Is everything all right?"

            "Oh yes. She wanted you to know she would be ready in the hour and then after lunch we should take off."

            "Who can think of food at a time like this?"

            "You must stay healthy Miss Emmy, you will be no good to your sister if you too are ill."

            "I am no good here."

            "Yes you are, you are bringing her mother to her."

            "Yes I am a good messenger."

            "Miss Emmy you are much more than a messenger."

            "Not much more."

            "What would your sister say if she heard you talking like this?"

            "First she would be upset I was walking in the woods and getting my dress dirty. She hated these woods."

            "Really? When I was here last she seemed rather fond of them."

            Emmy remembered that conversation from what she overheard, Laurel had spoken more to Ethan than she had to her own sister about her desires. Then she remembered what Laurel had said about her being so naïve. Emmy couldn't help but giggled when she thought about she had acted.

            "What are you giggling at?" Mr. Foster asked.

            "I overheard one of your talks, when you and Laurel walking out here once, she called me naïve and how I had my head in the clouds most of the time. I guess I was, I guess I am naïve and a silly dreamer. You see, I never had to grow up Laurel was always grown up for the both of us."

            "I think you are pretty grown up."

            "Only because I have to be, if Laurel was healthy and strong , I would still be in my ignorant ways, but circumstances have charged and the world feels so different now."

           

            "But still you find comfort in these woods? Miss James, I mean Mrs. Danford can dress you up in fancy clothes and teach you how to do your hair and your sister's sickness might have forced you to grow up but don't ever lose what makes you, you. These woods, your stories and your heart for adventure that is truly who you are and all the rest is just additional."

            "You were not here for Miss James' trip, who told you that?"

            "She did, she boasted about how she had dolled you up but I rather prefer you with your hair down and rather unruly then a doll who looks too perfect to touch."

           

            Emmy turned around feeling a flush upon her cheek. "You shouldn't talk that way."

            "In what way?"

            "It is almost flirtatious and anyone who didn't know you were in love with Laurel would question your loyalty." She had said it faster than she could think and now that it was there she couldn't take it back.

            "What?"

            She turned back around to face him. "I am sorry Mr. Foster, I should not have accused you of flirting you are only too kind. Please don't tell my sister about any of this."

            "I won't."

            "Especially not about-"

            He cut her off "Don't worry Miss Emmy, I will not say a word, discretion is my greatest flaw. But I am surprised for a girl who lives in the clouds how well you notice things here on earth."

            "I do not mean too."

            "It was all right, " he turned around and walked away leaving her in the woods by herself.

A naive writer's advice

I am not a published author, so you can take my advice with a grain of salt and I won't be offended. But in my years of writing I have discovered a few things.

1. Writing is a lonely job. So I say find a group of writers to hang out with, not just bloggers but people in real life. A few weeks ago a woman from my church started a Facebook page for people who go to my church who want to be writers. While yes it is a Facebook page, I see these people at least on Sundays so it is great to have them in real life and virtually give me advice and support. I think for our sanity writer's need support, while friends are great, a little group of other writers is great. So if you are a writer- find other writers, take up seats at a coffee shop and just be there for others. 

2. Be okay with crossed out pages. I don't know how people write by looking at a computer screen. I can only be inspired when I am hand writing stories... I know it takes me a long time to write because of this but I love to write in journals. For a long time I hated when I written something then crossed it out, I am slightly a perfectionist and I didn't like the way it looked to have it crossed out, but now I have embraced it. I would rather cross things out and make them better than be stuck with something I don't like. 

A page from my story notebook

3. Just write. Sometimes easier said then done. Lately I have really been pushing myself to write and finish my story but sometimes my brain is stuck so I give myself time to go for a walk, read a book or just watch TV but at the hours I know I think best creatively I "force" myself to write. Find the hours you think more creatively, find a spot you like to sit and write. For me it is 10PM to 1AM (I don't know why is late) and the corner of my bed. I have a day bed and I find the top corner of my bed the best place to write. Also make sure to give yourself time to not write, if needed.

4. Embrace your voice. In school teachers always said that they can know when you plagiarize because it doesn't sound like you. I think this is very true in all writing. We are each given our own thoughts, our tone and our own writing style. As much as I would love to write like Jane Austen, where paragraphs could last for pages, I am not Jane Austen and that is not how I write. So instead of pushing myself to write long paragraphs I have to write my own way. Also embracing your voice is writing what you are passionate about even if you think you are the only person who will like it.

{pic}

{pic}