Some descriptive writing

"A desire to write grows with writing"-Desiderius Erasmus 

In my last post about my story (which is still untitled) I wrote sharing my story with you my loyal readers it kept me inspired me to continue writing my story. So I hope to continue sharing bits of my story with you. I may not be able do to so regularly as I find I write better when I write with my hand and then I type it up. It is a very long process but it is so far the only way it works for me.

As much as I love writing plot, I love more the moment where I can get out a few good sentences of descriptive writing and make my characters or my setting seem more real. I am just at the beginning of my story so I am really working on some descriptive parts so my characters come to life for me and for my readers. So I wanted to share those parts with you...

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This wasn't a journey this was a new beginning.

            Parts of this narrative I remember as if they were yesterday even though they happened years ago. Some parts of this story I have conjured up out of my imagination to make sense of the outcomes. Therefore, I cannot call this a true account of my family but it is the truest account you ever hear.

           

            There was a time when we were all joyful and innocent to ever changing. Before the war and the destruction that followed in its wake. The war had changed our family in so many ways as it had for so many others. Before the war it didn't matter that Parker was heir to Cranston Court and best friends with Shane Gray, who was the oldest son of Cranston's head cook. Daphne would be happy to wear a daisy chain necklace and Marcus dreamt of exploring the deep jungles of Africa. Back when we were children we would spend our summer afternoons in the Back Woods wading in the creek that divided Cranston Court from Southerton Greens. I remember her we could be a thousand miles away from everything and everyone with only our dreams to play out. But that was before the Great War. The Great War that had killed Shane and made our poverty known. It was all due to the war. It was the reason our lives had changed forever.

Summer 1909

Those were the grand days for us children at Southerton. Without mother and father there we were under the care of Nanny Alba. Every day after lunch she took a long nap  and expected us to do the same. Instead as soon as the weather turned warm we would run all the way to the Back Woods not stopping for any breath. It was here we all plotted out the grand adventures we desired for our lives. I wasn't old enough to plan a grand escape. I still loved our home. It had been a part of our family since King Charles II. It wasn't grand compared to Cranston Court but it was a prized estate. I was still finding nooks and crannies when to hide in for hours. My ancestors took Southerton Green from a simple hunt lodge to its grand scale built in the a modern architecture in the Georgian style. My grandfather used to tell me of the grand days of Southerton when they would throw lavish parties on the scale of a Duke and Duchess. I promised him I would recapture those grand day and bring them back to Southerton.

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Dress Inspiration #1
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Lady Welford was perfection itself. She had delicate features from her ivory skin, her gentle hazel eyes and her fair auburn hair that seemed properly placed as a crown on her head with no strand out of a place. Her dress was done in the stylish 'Empire' revival fashion that was coming back into style with lots of subtle lace and beading on the top, then a large cherry silk ribbon that had a large flower pin on in it, fading to a soft pink with deep inverted pleats at the back which went down to a little train. One would think that the dress being so subtle in would wash her out but it didn't. Lady Welford was true beauty. Her figure was particularly graceful and it was a style in which elegance reigned. A beauty like I had never seen before in such a way that one could tell the outside was due to reflect the inside. She looked down and saw little Georgiana looking almost lifeless and had overwhelming compassion.

            "Oh my goodness is all right?" Lady Welford asked with watery eyes.

            "Yes your lady. She is fine now thanks to Mrs. Gray, she probably just needs some rest," Marcus said.

            "Well of course. We have several guest rooms she can stay in. Mrs. Banks," she called the house keeper over. "Will you make sure to find the little girl a place to rest and get some food for the children and have them take it into the nursery. Then when we are done with our guest in the library."

            "Elizabeth!" Lord Welford stunned by her.

            "And maybe some dry clothes for the young ladies."I did feel a little embarrassed by my outfit. "Also Mrs. Banks we might want to fetch the doctor. And all of you will stay here till your sister is all better. Mrs. Banks make sure to also write Southerton we would not want Mr. Harrington to worry."

            "Our mother is not home your lady," Marcus said.

            "Well then it is settled, you shall all stay the night," it was almost as she could feel her husband getting mad. "Now Welford, I want you to smile and remember we need votes."

Dress Inspiration #2
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            All what Lady Welford asked to be done was done in an orderly fashion. Her manners reflected her charming beauty for they were winning and never commanding and she show complete empathy to those around her.

            I would find out years later as perfect as her world seemed she terrible lonesome. Her husband would spend months away at a time her some was away at school, and while Lord Welford brought her back a nice broche or a new necklace it never replaced her heart's cry. By the time I learned this would be too late for me to do anything about it. I put this now so you would know the whole story and it will impact future events of this narrative.

            Cranston Court stood as a relic to the Tudor years with a lookout tower and lots of outset windows and it always had a feeling that a knight on white horse would be coming about any moment. Though it was a Tudor relic on the outside on the inside it looked more like a French Chateau done highly in the Rococo style that was ever so popular at the end of the last century. Lady Welford was an American Heiress through and through coming from a family who had their money from mill factories and investments in both railroad and a shipping industry. She had insisted for many modern improvements to be done to the house including new pipes, fitting windows, and dumb waiters so the food would be warm when it reached the dinner table. Most importantly she had the money to back up her insistence.

Painting of Derbyshire
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Side note: I have changed the date from 1906 to 1909 to bring them a little closer to WWI. I also changed my heroine's name to Rose... I couldn't really get attached to the name Esther.

In need of some light-heartedness

Dear Anne,

When I started writing these letters to you I made a promise to you that I would not write any "fluff" post but right now I need some "fluff." Lots of things in my life seem to be crumbling around me and I cannot think of how to phrase them all. But I didn't want to not write this week so if you will pardon me... I am going to write some fluff. 

Reading the book on the T.

I just got done reading my friend Katharine Grubb's book Falling for Your Madness, which I highly recommend as a great read on the beach over the summer or when you are stuck inside due to a blizzard or like me and just don't want to think about grad-school. I started it on Thursday afternoon and finished it by Sunday and I got swept up in the chivalry of the story. It is great to have such chivalrous character like David to fall for and you know me I am a sucker for a chivalrous hero. 

Any way this letter is not to write you a book report but I wanted to write that blurb so you understand this part. In one of their dinners they discuss what five things they love and five things they hate. I will only share my five loves in this letter (as I need some time to remember the good things in my life). 

my nephew wearing the T-shirt
I got him for Christmas

1. I am going to break David's rule of not saying my family... he thinks it is virtuous to say but doesn't say anything about us (p. 37). I am sorry but I think if you want to know me you must know I have a deep love of my family. They shape me so much and  while I am at least a thousand miles away from them they are a constant in my life. And lately I have seen how important they are for me as a support team in my life. But more specifically you have probably seen from my other letters I do have a sort of addiction to my niece and nephew. Last week I was feeling lonely so I made sure to spend some time with kids. I skyped with my sister and through that I drew pictures of princesses with my niece. Then on Friday I spent the afternoon with my best friend's baby. It was what I needed. So I love kids. 

2. I love getting lost in a good a book. Even though I am in grad-school I try to make time to read a fun book on the side. I love when a story can completely take me away from all that is going on in my life and I can disappear into another world. I usually find this true about historical fictions but last year I read the Hunger Games and could not put them down. 

3. My first cup of coffee. I sometimes get up, switch my coffee pot on, and then climb back in bed and wait for it to finish brewing. My first cup always wakes me up. The picture is of my favorite mug. My best friend gave it to me for Christmas and it is absolutely my favorite. This picture is not good but it says "Creative Fuel" and I love my days off when I can sip out of it and actually do some fun writing, which leads me to my number 4. 

4. Getting time to write. It doesn't happen much from going to grad-school, working, and doing life but I love when I find a few minutes to "work" on my story. I put the word work in "" because it is not really work it is a pleasure.  Like my getting lost in a good book I also like getting lost in  my own stories. 

5. Umm... last thing. This is hard because I feel there are many things I love. But I would say this city of Boston. Since the first time I came here I felt like this place was home. While, I love going back home to Oklahoma for the nostalgic aspects. I think Boston was the first place I ever felt like I truly fit in. And even in the cold I still love it here. I also feel God has blessed me here with my school, my friends I have made that have become a second family to me, my church, and most importantly my walk with Him.  

Boston gets more snow. 

Okay thanks for listening to my "fluff" it was good to write this down and remind myself all the goodness in my life. There are more than five things I love but I want to follow David's rule. 

- Blaire 

Fictional Obsession and Confession

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Dear Readers,

I will admit I get emotionally attached to fictional characters. If you can relate please let me know if  because sometimes I feel alone in my obsessions. For example I get overly happy every time I watch Emma and the scene where Mr. Knightley proposes to Emma and she says "Now I need not call you Mr. Knightley, I can call you my Mr. Knightley." Oh it just tugs at my heart strings. And I lost it when Matthew proposed to Mary on Downton Abbey.

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While yes I do like happy endings and I am totally a hopeful romantic. I look to these books/movies/shows as a way of escapism. I like the idea of getting lost in fancy gowns, balls, and I guess my idealistic view of chivalry. I think that is why I got into history, I wanted to escape into the past and live in the times and places I could only live in my imagination. 

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But it is not just historical stories I mean when Peeta confessed his love for Katniss I hugged the book to my chest because I was so happy. And today when I watched the newest episode of The Lizzie Bennet Diaries I cried... Maybe I am just super emotional. 

I guess I just love getting lost in stories. I hope to one day be an author that writes stories that people will get lost in and will fall hopelessly in love with my characters. I mean I get lost in my own stories but sometimes I think they exist better in my head. (Is this common for writers?)

Any way I just wanted to share my obsession. Hope you, my lovely readers, will understand my posts when all I want to do is escape the realities of grad-school.   

Just a pretty picture of escapism
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Letting go of the "but"

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Hello Lovely Readers,

A few hours ago I got back from a wonderful retreat and I come back with one BIG take away. I have written many times on this blog that I have wanted to be a wife and mother but that feels very  far away from distant from me. For awhile I walked around a little depressed because I thought if that is the purpose of my life why is it not happening. Then I wondered is this really God's desire? So I began praying "Lord please change my desires if they are not yours" quickly followed by "but I really want to be a wife and mother." Up until this weekend I thought this was a good prayer. I mean I couldn't lie to God and pretend that I didn't want my desires but I knew His desires were more important so I thought this prayer was a good compromise. 

This weekend during one of my prayer times I wrote...

Dear Lord, 

I don't know why I am sulking over the thing I don't have. Lord as much as I want to be a wife and mother I am not there yet, I am not sure when (or if) it will happen. Lord I am fine being single but I feel I am missing something. Lord I know you are he only one that can fill that spot. So Lord I to change me. Search me and find what I need to change. Lord if marriage and motherhood is not your desire please change my desires, not but this time. 

Match my desires to yours. I know day in and day out I know may not work will perfectly, but at the end of the day I want your desires to be mine. So Lord what you desire in my life? 

You know my heart, you know brain, I don't need to list what I want, you know that. So Lord help my wants line up to your wants.

Then this morning I wrote...

I am sick of that feeling where I am missing something. Lord it is just not true. I need to cling to the knowledge you (Lord) have given me all I need. There might be more I want but Lord if those wants line up with your wants then I know they will work out in your timing. But Lord right now I need to cling to the knowledge you are providing everything I need. 

...

Lord you know all my wants and desires, you them all. I have spent countless hours, and 100s of pages tell you what I want. I feel that is selfish because I have never once asked you what do you truly want in my life. I have never asked what you desire. So Lord what do you want in my life? What do you desire?

I then sat quietly and waited for a bit. While, it would have been cool/weird if God spoke in that moment and told me what he wanted; that didn't happen. This will be a continuous on going prayer. However, I think it is the first step in actually getting to the heart of what God desires. When I not only verbally let go of the clause and actually let go of it (in my heart and mind) then God will direct me to where he wants me. So right now I am letting go of the "but". 

let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith,

having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience

and having our bodies washed with pure water. 

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess,

for he who promised is faithful. 

-Hebrews 10:22-23 (NIV)

View from the home of our retreat. 

Writer's Feelings

I love reading blogs on writing... so here is my Friday's Feature for this week.

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Last year when I picked up blogging again the first blogger I came across was Sarah now at Well and Cheaply her blog inspired me to be a better blogger. So I think it is only appropriate to feature her this week. In her post "I'm a writer" she writes about the guilt she faces for not being a published writer.

So, I haven't actually talked about the fact that I'm a writer on this blog yet.  And while I like to consider this a "lifestyle blog," which sort of gives me the freedom to write about whatever the hell I want, I also hope for this space to be a writer's blog.  Before I start talking about my writing here though, I have something else I'm afraid to tell you:

The other day, my mom was asking me about my writing in a completely supportive and interested way.  And I just didn't want to talk about it.  Finally, she said, "why are you acting defensive?  Is it the question's I'm asking?"  And I couldn't answer her.  I knew she was right, I knew I was acting defensive and yet, why?

The conversation stuck in my head for a long time, and I was trying to figure out what was going on.  I think that I've come to a place where my relationship with writing -while I'm very passionate about it, is steeped in guilt and shame.  All of this guilt and shame has to do with not being published.  And I think I spend my time telling myself that I don't really feel this way.  And yet, when my mom asks me about my writing I get defensive because if I really let my guard down, I know I'd just start crying.

To read more click here

Since she came out about her guilt for not being published. I will come out about my feelings about writing. I feel ashamed about my writing. I have been writing stories since I was a little girl, I can't remember when I wasn't writing. But the truth is as much as I envision myself as a writer more specifically a novelist I have never finished a story. All my life I have filled notebooks maybe half way through then got inspired by another idea and I would drop the notebook and move onto another story. I think when I was in high school my mom got fed up with all these notebooks and started throwing them away (rightly so). Because I have never finished a story, I don't really come out and tell people I am a writer, it takes me awhile to feel comfortable with them to let them know that my passion in life is writing. Writing is a very vulnerable process for me, as I am sure it is with most writers, my stories are my own little world and letting some one in that space is very hard for me.

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For a long time I would write stories and never let anyone read them. I was embarrassed by my horrible spelling skills and grammar is hard for me as well. How can I be a writer if I can't spell or even properly construct a sentence? 

I guess I am also embarrassed by my writings. They are definitely written from a hopeful romantic perspective, who idealizes the past and wishes that first loves would be life time loves. I guess my writings always seemed a little silly or foolish in the world of serious literature but this is the world I escape to. It is my happy place, I guess if I was to put a picture to my happy place this would be it...

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But if I didn't write I think I would feel a void. With this blog and all the love and support I have gotten through writing it I am more willing to let people into my world. Though sometimes it is hard to let people in so sorry if I don't come right out and share my passion with you.   

Right now I am really pushing myself to finish my current story even if it never gets published I want to say I finished writing a story The Sisters of Pine Haven. 

I saw this on Pinterest and thought it was good inspiration to end this post...

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Whistling* on Wednesday

Song: I want you Back

Preformed by: The Civil Wars

Originally done by: The Jackson 5

 This song just came up randomly on my Spotify account and  I loved it so I wanted to share it with you. Hope you like it!

I love The Civil Wars, they make me want me to cuddle up, sip on a cup of coffee and let the troubles of the world melt away.

*- I actually can't whistle but it was the only W word I could think of that was musical.

My love of escapism

Okay guys, I don't think its a secret that most of my pleasure reading and watching movies and TV, I use as escapism. I thought I would blog about what I use to escape when the world is just too much for me to handle.

1. Books- most of my favorite books take place in the 19th century though some of them take place from the Roman Empire to WWII.

If I am not reading something for fun I think I will collapse. I need it as away to think about other things besides school. Though I am not reading fast.

2. TV/Movies- My newest obsession with TV is Downton Abbey. I can watch and dream what it would be like to wear fancy gowns and have gourmet dinners served nightly and always have my hair perfectly in place.

3. My own writing- Though it is hard to get the energy to write, when I get the time (really when I make the time) I still love to write. Fortunately I am a very big journal writer and I try to work on this blog but I wish I got more of my story done. Oh well can't do everything at once.

4. My friends- I know it might sound silly but I do have to remember to hang out with friends and when I am with them no matter how stressed I am they can always make me laugh. Plus they remind me to keep my priorities in check (I love that about them).







The Civil Wars

5. Music- I am not any where close to being a musician but I have finally jumped on to the idea of how cool spotify is and I love listening to music. My favorite types are country (nothing too twangy)/ folk/ and a little bit of Blue Grass. I have discovered Sarah Darling, Sarah Jarosz, and Sara Groves (I guess I really like the Sara(h)s). I have also discovered The Civil Wars and I have let my once quiet love for country not to be quiet anymore. I always take suggestions for music so let me know if you have any bands I must listen to. So while I may not be a musician and I know nothing about chords or a melody there is something nice about having music on in the back ground that calms me down and lets me escape.

6. My faith- though it is not really escapism I feel I must include it here as one of the main things that keeps me going. All the things above are good at letting me escape sometimes my over worked under slept life but my faith this semester has really gotten me through some rough patches. Earlier this year I was very down about the question "what am I doing with my life?" "what I am here for?" and actually I still don't have the answers to that I know that the Lord does and I just have to keep leaning on him. (Even as I write that it sounds totally cheesey but its true).