Blogging break

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Hello my loyal readers,

I feel like I just got back in the swing in of blogging and now I have to take a hiatus because it is Finals month. I don't have any test to study for just a lot of work to finish off this semester and work to start preparing for my thesis, I will be writing next semester. So I kind of have to take a break from blogging. Sorry.

I know there is a lot going on but if you could pray for my stress level. As much as school should be my only my focus, I feel I have a lot on my plate for one I have to find a new place to live for the fall and some other personal stuff I am trying to juggle.  Also pray for my focus to finish this semester hopefully with no all nighters.

As busy as I am, I am eagerly looking forward to going to Denver to see my sister, H and E.

Love you guys and I will be back in May.

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No fight left

No Fight Left

By: JJ Heller.

Dear Anne,

I am sorry it has been so long since I have written. I could easily blame Grad-School but considering I have had no motivation to do anything in school, I cannot really say that. The last couple of weeks I have felt my life going down hill. I even wrote you about how I was focusing on the good things in my life, I thought that letter would keep me up-beat. I am sad to say that it has not. I have even reached out to my "support team" (close family/friends) for them to pray for me and the response I have gotten has been so heart warming, I have felt truly loved but some how my heart an mind keep dwelling on the bad and I just see my life as a downward spiral (as much as I smile and pretend to be all right). I even questioned if I belonged to him since I kept having these times in my life where I was low and discouraged.


Well over the past couple of weeks my church has been going through the book of Jonah. He is mostly known for Jonah and the Whale but that is so little part of the story. When Jonah goes to Nineveh (the bad guys) and after little convincing they repent and our saved from destruction. The story goes further but I am going to stop right there. Both Jonah and the people of Nineveh had turned away from God and both were saved by God's never ending grace. At the end of the sermon my pastor said "there is nothing you can do to out run God's grace". As awesome as that statement is I will admit I didn't go right home and immediately go to God (as I should have done) but later Sunday night as I was brushing my teeth I read the verse taped near my mirror.

"Find rest O my soul in God; my hope alone comes from Him" (Psalm 62:5)

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And I thought, "how little do I consider God my hope." I have this verse written in multiple places and I never really consider God my Hope. I know God has saved me and I know God wants the best for me but how little do I actually think about God's hope and grace. Then as I was sitting and \
praying, I realized I keep underestimating God's grace. God's majestic saving and healing powers. 

I wrote that first part and then during my weekly phone date with my dad, I just couldn't hold back the tears anymore. He was just talking about how I was doing so well, I was climbing Mount Everest (in Grad-School) and I am at the last 10% and this is the hard part. I told him I didn't feel I was climbing Mount Everest I felt I was going a downward spiral to no where. I hate standing some days and I just want to hide and cry. 

I realize I am much like Jonah in the whale. I am going through a hard time and as easy as it would be for me to just retreat and sulking in my distress. I need to turn to God and  find my hope in him. Right now this is easier said than done.

Today I read Psalm 86 and it was exactly what I need to read. So while I am still in this low place, I need to remember God is with me. I just wish I felt Him more. 

I liked verse 5-7
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Sorry this letter is a bit scattered... it reflects my state of being right now. 

Thanks for reading.

Yours,

Blaire
P.S. Is it bad that I just want to spend the day eating chocolate and staying in my PJ's?

In need of some light-heartedness

Dear Anne,

When I started writing these letters to you I made a promise to you that I would not write any "fluff" post but right now I need some "fluff." Lots of things in my life seem to be crumbling around me and I cannot think of how to phrase them all. But I didn't want to not write this week so if you will pardon me... I am going to write some fluff. 

Reading the book on the T.

I just got done reading my friend Katharine Grubb's book Falling for Your Madness, which I highly recommend as a great read on the beach over the summer or when you are stuck inside due to a blizzard or like me and just don't want to think about grad-school. I started it on Thursday afternoon and finished it by Sunday and I got swept up in the chivalry of the story. It is great to have such chivalrous character like David to fall for and you know me I am a sucker for a chivalrous hero. 

Any way this letter is not to write you a book report but I wanted to write that blurb so you understand this part. In one of their dinners they discuss what five things they love and five things they hate. I will only share my five loves in this letter (as I need some time to remember the good things in my life). 

my nephew wearing the T-shirt
I got him for Christmas

1. I am going to break David's rule of not saying my family... he thinks it is virtuous to say but doesn't say anything about us (p. 37). I am sorry but I think if you want to know me you must know I have a deep love of my family. They shape me so much and  while I am at least a thousand miles away from them they are a constant in my life. And lately I have seen how important they are for me as a support team in my life. But more specifically you have probably seen from my other letters I do have a sort of addiction to my niece and nephew. Last week I was feeling lonely so I made sure to spend some time with kids. I skyped with my sister and through that I drew pictures of princesses with my niece. Then on Friday I spent the afternoon with my best friend's baby. It was what I needed. So I love kids. 

2. I love getting lost in a good a book. Even though I am in grad-school I try to make time to read a fun book on the side. I love when a story can completely take me away from all that is going on in my life and I can disappear into another world. I usually find this true about historical fictions but last year I read the Hunger Games and could not put them down. 

3. My first cup of coffee. I sometimes get up, switch my coffee pot on, and then climb back in bed and wait for it to finish brewing. My first cup always wakes me up. The picture is of my favorite mug. My best friend gave it to me for Christmas and it is absolutely my favorite. This picture is not good but it says "Creative Fuel" and I love my days off when I can sip out of it and actually do some fun writing, which leads me to my number 4. 

4. Getting time to write. It doesn't happen much from going to grad-school, working, and doing life but I love when I find a few minutes to "work" on my story. I put the word work in "" because it is not really work it is a pleasure.  Like my getting lost in a good book I also like getting lost in  my own stories. 

5. Umm... last thing. This is hard because I feel there are many things I love. But I would say this city of Boston. Since the first time I came here I felt like this place was home. While, I love going back home to Oklahoma for the nostalgic aspects. I think Boston was the first place I ever felt like I truly fit in. And even in the cold I still love it here. I also feel God has blessed me here with my school, my friends I have made that have become a second family to me, my church, and most importantly my walk with Him.  

Boston gets more snow. 

Okay thanks for listening to my "fluff" it was good to write this down and remind myself all the goodness in my life. There are more than five things I love but I want to follow David's rule. 

- Blaire 

Waiting for one day

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Dear Anne,

In my last letter I wrote about my obsessions and how I am obsessed with my niece and nephew. Over Christmas my step-mom told me that as much as I love H and E I will love my own kids a thousand times. I don't know how that is possible since I would give my life for them but I am sure I will love my kids more so. I am just so far away from having that in my life and sometimes it hurts. Lately me having a baby has been a trend. A couple of weeks ago I had a bad day at work and to get some peace I watched a video of H dancing around. I told my co-worker this and she said I just need to have a baby. Then I was talking to another co-worker and he said I would make such a good mom. As great as a compliment this is... it also hurts. I know I want to have a baby so bad but there are a few things I need first. The most important thing would be a husband and I am not even in a relationship. So I feel like having a baby is still leaps and bounds away from me. 

I know this might be kind of silly but sometimes when I see pregnant women I feel a little empty because I feel my body is not doing what it is suppose to. I know God's timing is perfect but this is the one area I doubt God. I feel God has put this desire in me to be a wife and mother but for some reason it is not happening to me. So I wonder if God really wants me to be a wife and mother and if He doesn't want me to fill this role what am I to do with my life? I know it is wrong for me to doubt God so I have to remind myself that God's will is perfect and I hope I am not clinging to my desires too much I am not letting Him have His way. 

I know I am in grad-school and it is silly for me to think about having family but I would seriously give it all up if it meant I could be a wife and mother. 

Just having a low a moment. Thanks for listening. 

Yours,
Blaire

Dear Anne,

Maybe someday
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I wrote that top part when I was having a low moment but I didn't send it because it sounded like a "woe-is-me" letter so I am sorry for not writing sooner. After I had written the top part I have had some good quiet times. I am going to share parts of my prayers as I know you will be worried about my heart and I want to be completely honest with you. 


(from 2/7-2/9)
Dear Lord,
Oh Lord I am sorry for holding to this doubt I wrestle with. Lord I am your ways are better than my ways, I know your timing is perfect and complete. Lord I know all that but yet I question you. Lord I question if you really will provide me for me a husband and children. I know I look to that so much to much I let it define me too much. Lord I see that as my absolute fulfillment and you oh Lord are the only one who can truly fulfill me. Lord that I thank you for. 

Lord I know your will is perfect. I pray for patience. Lord I know as much as I want a relationship I am not ready for one. Lord I know I would put that first because I put that desire first. Lord I prepare my heart. Mold me to be what you desire. Lord I know your will is perfect and I know I hold on to the details too much. Lord help me let go of the details so I can cling to you...Lord I think what I need is a change of mindset. I feel if I submit to you, I think I won't get my family I have been longing for. And I see that as the ultimate fulfillment. The ultimate way to say "I am good enough". Lord you are the ultimate fulfillment help me to rely on you. Lord my God you have blessed me and I know letting go of this you will continue to bless me.

Lord my God help me submit to your ways. Help me be part of the change you desire. Lord my God I know your ways are perfect and I know your truths are abounding. I pray I keep steadfast in you. Lord mold me for how you long me to be. Oh Lord my God walk with me on this path.

I do not write this because I am strong I write this because I am weak and wrestling.


Yours faithfully,
Blaire

Always the hopeful romantic
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Starting over

Before you read this post read Note to Readers

My dear Anne,

So my dearest Anne, first of all let me tell you some things about myself. I am in grad-school and it is my last "traditional" semester of Grad school and in the fall I will be writing my thesis and doing a long internship. I am looking forward to doing research (as I actually find it fun) but I feel like I am trudging through this semester. It is like grad school senioritis. I'd rather be doing anything but my homework. Actually what I want to be doing is writing my own stories. I sometimes wished I had pursued creative writing instead... though maybe if I had pursued it in school I would not like it so much. Writing is my escape... but right now I feel like I want to escape a lot. Not that anything is seriously going on, I just don't want to be doing school work. I know school will soon be over and I will be able to write and read whatever I want (oh what a glorious day that will be).

Glorious
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Some other things about me that you should know are my obsessions. If you want to get close to me you should know I get very passionate and hold somethings close to my heart. I love being an aunt and probably might have a little unhealthy addicted to my niece and nephew. I don't think it is unhealthy but I am sure my friends/co-workers who I talk to do.

Some time being an auntie over Christmas

I am also a hopeful romantic. I not only love love stories but I have idealistic views of the ideas of chivalry and  men purely pursuing a woman. I think in that I have a deep love of historical fictions. I get very swept in the idealistic view I have of the past. As I mentioned in my post below I just love the idea of wearing fancy dresses, going to balls, and attending eloquent dinners. I think I want to crawl inside and live in a Jane Austen novel or Downton Abbey. Of course having read Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict... I know it is not so glamorous as  I think. Also Mary Crawley talked about how women don't have a life and that they are just stuck in the waiting room for marriage. So maybe the past is not as great as I imagine it to be but I still hold this idealistic view of the ages gone by.

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Sometimes I think if I were to be a character in a Jane Austen or Downton Abbey-ish story I would think I would be an Edith (but nicer) or an Anne Elliot from Persuasion (maybe that is where I got your name). I am the middle daughter with both sisters married and I the useful aunt. I feel that is a role I could do well... if I wasn't a 1,000 miles away from my niece and nephew. I have tried writing a story like that but it seemed "too woe is me" so I didn't want to continue it. I think I am Elinor but I want the passion of Marianne but heck if I could get a man like Dan Stevens to marry me that would be great.

Dan Stevens as Edward Ferras
in the A&E version of Sense and Sensibility
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I do think it is quite obvious that I have a love for the idea of love. As Carrie Bradshaw once said "a deep consuming, can't live with out you love" and that is what I seek after. So I will probably fill my letters with my hopeful romantic ideals and all that is entailed in that.

Besides my niece/nephew, grad-school, and my romantic ideals I will also use this time to write about my faith. To fill you in lately I have felt somewhat of a void in my life with grad-school, going home for Christmas and then having my mom visiting I could cover it up but then when things slowed down a bit I felt empty. As much as I felt I was keeping God in my life somehow I had floated away from Him. I don't think I was letting Him in to the real stuff and keeping our relationship at a very surface level. I am also trying to keep remind myself that no matter how I feel He is here with me. To do this I am trying to memorize scripture I did not do so well last week so my verse is the same...

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.
 He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.

-Psalm 62:5-8 (NIV 1984).

I think this has been a pretty good letter so I will let you go. Thank you for reading my letter Anne. Please write and tell me how you are doing.

Yours,

Blaire

P.S. I will write more and share with how my writing is coming along. Sharing my writing with you on my last story kept me quite motivated in finishing it. Thank you for your support.

Fictional Obsession and Confession

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Dear Readers,

I will admit I get emotionally attached to fictional characters. If you can relate please let me know if  because sometimes I feel alone in my obsessions. For example I get overly happy every time I watch Emma and the scene where Mr. Knightley proposes to Emma and she says "Now I need not call you Mr. Knightley, I can call you my Mr. Knightley." Oh it just tugs at my heart strings. And I lost it when Matthew proposed to Mary on Downton Abbey.

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While yes I do like happy endings and I am totally a hopeful romantic. I look to these books/movies/shows as a way of escapism. I like the idea of getting lost in fancy gowns, balls, and I guess my idealistic view of chivalry. I think that is why I got into history, I wanted to escape into the past and live in the times and places I could only live in my imagination. 

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But it is not just historical stories I mean when Peeta confessed his love for Katniss I hugged the book to my chest because I was so happy. And today when I watched the newest episode of The Lizzie Bennet Diaries I cried... Maybe I am just super emotional. 

I guess I just love getting lost in stories. I hope to one day be an author that writes stories that people will get lost in and will fall hopelessly in love with my characters. I mean I get lost in my own stories but sometimes I think they exist better in my head. (Is this common for writers?)

Any way I just wanted to share my obsession. Hope you, my lovely readers, will understand my posts when all I want to do is escape the realities of grad-school.   

Just a pretty picture of escapism
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Writing is my little oasis

Hello Lovely Readers,

I know it has been a long time since I have published any part of my story... so long some of you might have thought I have given up writing. Well fear not, I have not. I have gone back and forth on this mentally, my friend advised me not to publish my story on the internet because a publisher would not touch my story if people had free access to it. I followed that advise. But to be honest through all my thoughts on how this blog should be, sharing my story was a very important factor of writing this blog. I hope to one day be published but I still want to share some of my victories with my loyal readers.

I am still working on my story, even with going to grad-school full time I have found writing to be my little oasis. However it does take me awhile as for the most part I can still only write through hand writing then typing it up. I have written at few odd intervals and have tried to keep up on transcribing it, but it is hard. Any way Saturday I passed 80,000 words typed up... a victory for me! I can't wait till I across 100,000 words. 

Any way here is a little part of my story that got me up to 80,000 words.

Hope you have a nice week.

~~~~~~~~~~~

My dear sweet Emmy,

            How I have missed your company. If Laurel and your mother can spare you, I beg you to be my companion at Mr. and Mrs. Netherfields’ dinner. Mr. Dumont cannot attend with me and I would hate to throw off Mrs. Netherfields’ table when we have already agreed to go. Your cousins Mr. and Mrs. Nicholas Danford are coming and I know how much she has missed your company. I believe there will be another party of interest there as well.

Please write as quick as you can.

Yours Always,

Aunt Iris.

“Another party,” Emmy could tell right away she meant Brandon. Aunt Iris had always been do keen on pushing Brandon and her together. “Oh heavens I suppose I shall have to face him soon enough,” Emmy said to herself.

“Saunders said there was a letter from Iris, what does she want?” Fiona said coming into the room.

“She is begging me to accompany her to the Netherfields’ dinner. That is if you and Laurel can spare me.”

“Oh you must go, the Netherfields are some of the highest society and their parties are so grand. You will meet a great number of people I should say and it is not right for you to stay cooped up in here. I insist you go.”

“Nicholas and Kathryn will be there and I suspect Mr. Brandon James as well.”

“Well you must go, they are such dear friends.”

“Yes mother.”

Emmy had not told mother about Caleb or Brandon. Perhaps she should go, see Brandon in public and it would the best to do that at a large gathering. If they were alone in conversation they could make small talk and try to pretend nothing had happened.

“Go and come back with a nice report to tell us all that happened,” Laurel said when Emmy discussed it with her.

“All that happens?”

“Yes I want to see the room come alive, remember all the details of the women’s dresses, the flowers in the centerpieces, and how the food tastes. The Netherfields are known for being quite refined in all aspects and I want a full report.”

“You want to know all that happens?”

“Of course I do.”

“Every detail, every awkward moment, every uncomfortable glance.”

“I am sure it will not be that bad.”

“I am sure it will.”

“Well try your best to enjoy yourself.”

“I will try for your sake.”

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Emmy wore one of her new gowns. It was dark green with rose pink accents. Moth told her the green brought out her eyes. Every time Emmy dressed up now for society she still felt as if she was playing dress up. A woman was showing up more and more in the reflection but she felt so much like a girl in her mother’s dress and shoes.

           Aunt Iris was most happy to have her as her companion and promised to show her off. The Netherfields and all their associates were in the highest social standing. It would be good for Emmy to get known in these circles.

When they arrived and gave their welcomes to their host and hostess Emmy was quick to find Kathryn. Kathryn was all kindness and asked after Laurel. It was all such a miserable circumstance, Kathryn said. Then Emmy asked after Brandon. Kathryn either didn't know anything of their last interaction or was a very good actress and pretended not  to know anything. Either way, Emmy supposed it did not matter as Kathryn said he was not coming. She said work had kept him so hectic these last few weeks that he hardly called on her and that he practically slept in the office. Then she lowered her voice and spoke at a volume only Emmy could hear and admitted that both Julia and Caleb were to come. Emmy felt a little light headed but could not let her friend see. Kathryn was not able to finish her next sentence for at that very moment Julia walked in.

“Emmy darling.”

“Hello Julia.”

“I did not know you were going to be here, is Laurel here as well?”

“No I am afraid that Laurel is too ill to be out of the house.”

“That is a shame to miss such a night as this.”

“I will let her know that I send her your regards.”

            "Please do. It is a shame she is not here tonight for I had such wonderful news, I wanted to share it with both my cousins and my sister."

            "What is it?" Kathryn asked knowing Emmy did not have the heart to.

           

            "Mother and father have given me their permission for Caleb and I to marry next month. It turns out father has given Caleb a position in his office, so I shall not be moving to New York as I hoped but this will be perfect as I will still be close to home and my family. Any way Caleb has to do for father in German, I believe, so father is letting us get married and then we will got to Germany on our honeymoon. Oh it is all perfect. Of course I'd rather go to France or Italy like you did dear sister," she said smiling at Kathryn. "But if we can get married sooner all the better. I cannot imagine sending Caleb to Germany as I anxiously await his return with a ring on my finger." Julia paid little to the fact Emmy was growing whiter with each word out of her mouth. "Now, dearest Emmy, I know we had our little disagreements last summer but I do hope we can put that behind us and you will be my bride's maid. I have lots of friends but no friend can replace the closeness of family bonds."

           

            Emmy could barely speak but somehow mustered the strength to shake her head yes. She also somehow was able to convey a smile to let Julia believe she was truly happy for her.

            

Delight yourself in the Lord

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Hello Lovely Readers,

It is another cloudy day in Boston and on cloudy days there is nothing I love more than sitting on my bed, sipping on coffee and getting some writing done. I find cloudy/rainy days to be so inspiring. Fortunately today my morning class was cancelled so I could sleep in a bit and then wake up slowly, do my quiet time, and now sit here and write this post. 

Delight yourself in the Lord

and he will give you the desires of your heart.

-Psalm 37:4

I know that verse is used a lot. At first reading it should seem like that God should give you whatever you desire/want. So many times we do not get what we want. Does that mean this verse is a lie? No. I think this verse tells us there is a process (a process I am still learning).

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart- Jeremiah 29:13. The most important part in these verses is the Lord. When we seek God with all our hearts, we will find God. When we delight ourselves in the Lord that is when we get the desires of our hearts. Often times I pray "I want this and I want that" and when I don't get I give up and usually pout and complain. That is not where prayer should stop. 

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I have written about this in other posts that this summer that I heard the phrase "God always has the best for me in mind" and this has really changed my thinking. I know God has the best for me, but what is my best? It is His best. This means I won't always get my way and I won't always get what I want but at the end of the day His best will come through (if I follow Him) and it will be better than I ever could imagine. My best is not wealth, success, or a comfortable life; it is His will being done through me. 

Right now, I still have about a year and half till I finish school and then I don't know what is going to happen after I graduate. So I am not going to wait until the last minute to pray to God for His decision I am beginning to pray right now. I have told God countless times what I want, so I don't need to lay that out any more because he knows. What I am asking Him now that if my desires don't match His desires that He changes my heart. Then I ask if my desires do match His desires that He gives me patience to wait in Him. Then I realized it is not just about being patient, I want God to use this time to prepare my heart and mind for what is next. I know God is using this time that I am single and in school to prepare me for what is next in my life... whatever that may be.

Delight yourself in the Lord  I think really means putting what He wants for/from me as my first goal. I am still learning what that means. The more I put His desires first the more my heart will change; then my desires will completely line up with His desires; and that is when I will get the desires of my heart. This is a process and will always be a process because we are more inclined to seek after what we want instead of submitting to God for what he wants.

I know this post might seem like a lot of rambling, and it is a bit, mostly because I am still figuring out what all this means. But there are two things I want to express in this post that I am learning: first God has provided everything I need for this moment, if He hasn't given it to me then I don't need it; second it is not about what I want it is about what He want for/from me.

I read this today in my quiet time, I had highlighted it years ago but I loved how true it was for all what I am praying about...

 I’ll make them of one mind and heart, always honoring me, so that they can live good and whole lives, they and their children after them. What’s more, I’ll make a covenant with them that will last forever, a covenant to stick with them no matter what, and work for their good. I’ll fill their hearts with a deep respect for me so they’ll not even think of turning away from me.“‘Oh how I’ll rejoice in them! Oh how I’ll delight in doing good things for them! Heart and soul, I’ll plant them in this country and keep them here!’- Jeremiah 32: 39-41 (The Message)

Happy Graduation

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For all my friend's who are graduating here are some songs to celebrate your accomplishment.

The 2000 classic Vitamin C song  Graduation (friend's forever)

Now pour a drink and dance around you have worked hard. 

Kool and the Gang- Celebrate 

Black Eye Peas- I got a feeling

Have fun celebrating!

Can't wait till I can join your graduated ranks.

Summer plans

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Hello lovely readers,

I am happy to say I am done with my semester in school. Now I have a month and a half off before Summer School starts. My dad has already asked me what I am doing with my time off.

1. The most practical answer work more hours at my job aka earn more money.

2. Read more fun more fun books. I am currently reading Catching Fire but I have a few other books I want to get through.

3. Write more. Rather it be this blog or my story The Sister of Pine Haven.  I have a few blog post in draft that I am working on and hope to get them published soon. 

4. Some family is visiting. My dad and step-mom are coming in May and my mom is coming in June before summer school starts. 

My dad and step mom:

From my college graduation 

My mom and I:

At the Biltmore Estate

5. My birthday party- I love celebrating my birthday, I love planning my birthday. I am in the works of arranging a party where my friends will hopefully donate money for my trip to Honduras.

(Yep I still need to raise funds so please let me know if you are interested).

6. Hang out with friends. 

Some of my friends
thanks... Mikhail Glabets Photography

7. Lastly I have to report for Jury duty. 

So those are my plans for my month and a half off. 

Getting me through Finals

I am happy to announce I am done with this semester.

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Though other semesters have been rough I feel like this semester I have spent more time in the library working on papers. I have grown accustom to spending almost the whole day in the library, learning the different schedules of when it was busy versus when it was quiet and finding it conquest when I left the library around 11PM.

While finals were tiring I have learned a few things to get me through this time.

1. My 5 PM coffee was great... though now I have to wean off it (this will be hard).

2. Learning to deal with distraction. While I work better at the library it is still hard to stay focused all the time. But it is good sometimes to be distracted. Here is a video from "Easy A."

3. Get out of the library. Back in February my friend invited me to two concerts and if I had taken a look at my schedule I would have seen that these concerts were in the middle of finals time and probably would have turned them down. But because I didn't do this I had preset times that I couldn't be in the library. 

4. Find something that is calming. I love kids, I work in my church nursery and last Sunday I went in even when I wasn't on the schedule. This little boy was very tired and kept leaning on me and pushing on my belly with his head so finally I gave in and laid down with him. I didn't actually fall asleep but my friend took a picture of me as if I was sleeping. Eventually I had to wake the boy up but after that he was very clingy and it was wonderful for me to feel so wanted. 

5. Keep telling yourself "it will get done," every semester I get stressed and I think I will never get this done I have to tell myself it will be done even if some nights I don't sleep that well. 

For all my friends going through finals, this song is for you...

Song: Be Calm

By: Fun. 

A little reminder

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I have been working on papers most of this weekend but I did have some good and "Fun." moments this week and I promise as soon as I am done with my paper I will post it.

Happy 200!

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One of my goals for this blog was to keep celebrating little triumphs. Today I am happy to announce I have written 200 post. I wrote my Happy 100th post, November 30th so I am excited how fast it took me to write another 100 post. I hope you have enjoyed this journey.

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Time to Celebrate!!!

Since my 100th post I have had some blogging celebrations...

1. I have gotten lots of writing done on my story the Sisters of Pine Haven... In my post Winter Break  I wrote that I wanted to write more of my story. I stated in that post I only had 9 post of my story, now I have 22 post.

2. I got a twitter account you can now follow me @liblairian I post updates on blog and things in my life.

3. I had my blog redesigned thanks to Annie from Wattlebird 

4. I am happy to say I had two wonderful guest bloggers on this blog. 

Kimberly from "Here's what I think about" 

We all have a writing story

Laura from "Girl Plus Everything Else"

What did you want to be when you grew up

5. I also wrote 2 guest blogs for their blogs. My Journey Through Reading and inspired by Laura's post on growing up I wrote about all my dream jobs that I had while I was growing up. 

6. My post "A Sunday of nonproductive-ness" has been looked at 143 times, that is huge for me. 

Some personal celebrations 

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I left my full time job in January so I can go to school full time. It has been great to have the time to focus on school and it is nice to have days off. It is so nice not going from working all day to doing home work all night.

Also I during my spring break I went to see my sister and my niece. It was a wonderful trip and great time to bond with my niece. She calls me "Ah ba" because she can't say Aunt Blaire yet. I don't know if I actually want her to call me Aunt Blaire because I love the way she says my name. I have gotten bit homesick since being back in Boston so I have skyped with her a few times. 

My niece and I 

I know I spend a lot of time dreaming about the future and eagerly awaiting what the future has to offer but I am more and more loving the day for what it is and not always what I hope it will be. I admit some times it is harder than I would like but I can't keep waiting for the future, because after all the future is only what I make of it today. 

A hopeful traveler

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This semester I have an internship where I have been cataloging letters written to the Academy. Most of them are from people in Boston, or other places in the U.S. but some are from France,Italy, Vienna, or even Russia. When I get these letters I go on Google to find out where these places are. I must admit I get sucked into my Google Image search as I explore the world beyond my little desk and imagine what these places must be like.

I can't complain too much. I have had my fair share of traveling for being only 25 years old. After my freshman year of college my mom, step-dad and I went on a Mediterranean cruise where I got to see southern France, Florence, Rome, Athens, Mykonos (a little island in Greece), Istanbul, and Ephesus. Then during my Junior year of college my mom and I went to London and Bath on my Spring Break and we frequently talk about our next trip over to Europe. We have decided it will be Paris and Versailles. And I will be travelling down to Honduras with Living Water International this August.

In Ephesus

At the Trevi Fountain 

In the Aegean Sea

At the Jane Austen Center

At Windsor Castle

At Big Ben 

I am not complaining I have loved all that I have seen and done. But there is still so much I want to see out in this big world. So when I read these letters from all over the world I long for times of traveling. I told my supervisor today that maybe one day I can trace a source back to its original place, she looked at me very idealistically.  But as a current grad student it is only right for me to dream.

Here are some places I want to see...

Paris

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Vienna

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Israel 

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Maybe one day I can see all these places... until then I will have Wanderlust. 

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