Can't Just Sit By

Hello lovely readers,

I have had a few thoughts on my mind about this weeks "My World Monday" and I want to let you know what's going on in my life but before I start I want to say "thank you" to you guys my readers. I know I have gone back and forth on this blog from posting a lot to not posting at all. I know I have changed my mind on the focus of this blog a few times and I have probably left you wondering "what is going on in her head" so thank you for staying with me through all my transitions.

Second I want to say that as much as I love this blog... it is going through more transitions. I want this blog to feel comfortable and personal. For people who know me in real life I want this blog to sound genuine and true (I don't want this blog to be a false persona). For the people who don't know me in real life I want you to feel connected. I am trying to blog about the truths in my life from the highs to the lows and all the in between. One transition you might notice is that I am trying to set up a blogging schedule (Monday, Wednesday, and Friday). I am not a professional blogger so I am sure I will miss some days but I hope you guys will stick with me. Another transition I am trying to make is getting my blog more professional (at least in looks). There a few blogs I follow closely and I would love to have more their style, but I still want this blog to be comfortable.

I don't know why but for some reason I picture a big comfy reading chair when I think about how I want this blog to feel. So I will still be posting about my faith, my obsession with period dramas, my writing, the books I am reading and other various things I enjoy. But I have added advertisement to this blog in hopes of getting a little bit of money while doing something I enjoy. There might be some other changes a long the way but as I am not a professional blogger it might come in bits and pieces.

Third, I want to say "I am sorry". I feel sometimes I hide behind my books, my stories that I am writing and even this blog to hide what is really going on in my life and in my heart.

I think I hide because it is easier to share only part of the truth, the truth I like, than to share some things that hurt me to write out. But a blog seems safe, minus a few people I know who read my blog for the most part my readers are anonymous. So in that way I feel I can express myself better with you my readers than sometimes my own friends. But in other ways I can't... I know many readers are anonymous and we will most likely never meet but I still hold myself back because I fear judgement. I fear that if I say to much you may not like what I say and stop reading. I fear that if I speak out for things I believe in I will be called a hypocrite.

I have made mistakes, I have held grudges and I admit I let those grudge fester inside me that they have turned to hate. And I feel like a hypocrite in that way because I claim to love God and Jesus and the Bible talks endlessly about loving people. Yet somehow dislike and bitterness are easier for me than love. I love my family and my friends but the Bible says "love your neighbor as yourself" and I fail miserably at this. So I am sorry.

My church has been doing a series called "Forward" about the story we are moving forward with our money, in our families and in our community. As much as I pretend on the outside to be fine, I know with my thoughts and actions I am not moving the Good News forward.

One thing I have noticed in both my prayer time and in this blog is I talk a lot about changing and doing things but I don't really move towards change. So I can't just sit back, I can't just hide behind my books, or my stories anymore. If I want to change things I am going to have to get going. So this will probably be the biggest transition this blog and my life will be going through. For example: I can't just say I want to be a writer I have to actually get writing. And I can't just say I want to make an impact on this world and do nothing. So the first thing I am going to do is make to get invested in my community around me (not sure exactly what that means but I am keeping my eyes open). 

So I can't just sit by anymore... I hope you will stay with me as I go through this journey.

Frivolous Friday...Happy Anniversary

Hello lovely readers,

Today for my "Frivolous Friday" post I am giving a special shout out to my younger sister and her husband on their four year anniversary.

Photo Credit: Kristina Gaines

I love their story: They were friends for years and she even had quite a crush on him for a bit. I remember that she liked him more when she found out he wanted to missions in Africa, which was something she wants to do. Eventually they started dating and I felt he was instantly welcomed into as a part of our family and every time I see them together he always appears to be supporting her. I think they are an awesome couple.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!

Dwelling in the Past

Hello Lovely Readers,

I love to dwell in historical fiction in most everything in my reading, the TV shows and movies I watch, and my own personal writing. I am personally still a romantic about history and probably idealize it too much even though I studied history I know it is not clean cut and glamorous as I wished it was. One time I hear a quote "we study the past to know how we got here" (sorry paraphrasing so might be a misquote) and I think it is accurate. I like studying the past to know the struggles, the battles and the times of glory and hope people went through to get where we are now. Even though the stories I read are set in the past, if the book is written well, I feel I can relate to them and I wonder what I would do if I was in that circumstance?-- I know you can do this with really any genre of literature but there is something about historical fiction in that pulls me in.

I think I owe my love to early 20th century upon seeing Biltmore.

For my own writing there is a comfort in knowing the outcome. For example: In my story I am currently writing it is about WWI and I know what happens and I know who is going to win the War. But then there is this weird comfort in not controlling the outcome. I know what is going to happen in the grand scheme of things and I just put my characters in those events and seeing what happens to them and how they are changed by their circumstances.

My love of WWI might be owed to Downton Abbey

As I stated I am currently working on a story that will go through WWI. And while I studied early 20th century history in school I know vague details about WWI. I have read various novels, biographies and other non-fiction books and I sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the amount of information I am learning. I felt so overwhelmed I thought "maybe I should put this story aside while I research." But then I thought "I am never going to know enough to be completely accurate." This is true of all historians... we take the sources we have and as best we can we put a narrative. However, the thing about history is that unless we build a time machine we will never get the full story, which give historians and writers some freedom. So when I saw this post on Pinterest I was highly intrigued:

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And I felt it was okay for me not to know everything about WWI, that doesn't mean I can't attempt to write a fabulous story. So I will keep pressing on through my first draft. If I find out anything interesting I will keep you updated.

I am not a photographer

Hello lovely readers,
As I posted last week I took some time off to visit some family and meet my newest nephew and I planned to take lots of photos but I came back with only a handful of photos... so I have come to the conclusion I am not a photographer. So sorry there are not many photos of my trip but here is a glimpse of my time back home.

The main reason I took this trip was to meet my newest nephew... even though it was mid-June in Houston. This is my first time holding him.

This is my niece and I doing arts and crafts together... really drawing dresses.

I could do this for hours with her.

  

On our road trip making a stop at Buc-ee's.

Only in Texas do you see a gas station as big as most grocery stores.

We did get in a visit to the zoo but I can not even take credit for this photo as my dad took it.

Niece and sister are the only ones looking at camera. I am looking at my nephew.

Oh yeah and that is a lion in the background.

See not many photos... but at least I got some great time being Aunt Blaire which is the best memories I can have. Hope you have a good Monday.