The “cold” has finally reached Houston, and honestly, I’m delighted. I’d be happy if it stuck around for three more months! Of course, in true Houston fashion, by the time I finished typing this newsletter, we were already back in the 70s, which I suppose is still better than the 80s in December.
I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and are feeling the joy and anticipation of Christmas drawing near.
Over Thanksgiving break, I loved the extra sleep and slower pace, and I’m hoping Christmas brings more moments of rest and time with family. But I’ll be honest—lately my heart has felt a bit distant from the thankfulness and joy that usually come so easily this time of year. It feels like I’ve misplaced some of the “magic” I used to sense as a child. More deeply, I’ve felt somewhat disconnected from life, though I can’t quite pinpoint why.
This morning (12/5), during my quiet time, I wrote:
“I want to feel connected to life. I want to be done with this half-life. I long for joy, hope, security, peace, completeness… not out of doubt, but because something feels missing.
I am struggling.
What is it?
Lord, is it You I’m missing?
Lord, I have You—You are my Savior. How much I need You. You are my hope, my security, my sanity. I’d be nothing without You. You created the heavens and the earth… and somehow decided the world needed me, too. You sent Your Son to live, die, and rise again so that all who call You Lord would have life in You.
Thank You—though these words barely feel adequate.
Lord, You are gracious, loving, trustworthy, and complete. You go before me and behind me.
I have You, but I need You more. I’m asking for Your wisdom, Your joy, and everything You desire to give me on this side of heaven.
Lord, capture my heart.
What do You desire from me, in me, and through me? What do You want to teach me?”*
As I wrote, the lyrics of “In Christ Alone my hope is found” came to mind, and I prayed that those words would be more deeply true of my life.
I’m not entirely sure how to wrap up this blog post except to say: would you join me in that prayer?
Thank you, truly. And here’s to the cold weather lingering a little longer… and to the hope that God is already warming the places in my heart that feel a bit chilled.
Holding onto grace. *
*I feel the need to say the em dashes were not Chat GPT but how I actually wrote my prayers
I enjoyed revamping my “About Me” page so much that I wanted to extend it into a post. As I was trying to come up with ideas for my “About Me” page, I searched the internet for good get-to-know-you questions, so here are a few of my answers (maybe I’ll add more later).
What is something that always makes you feel at home? In my life, I have moved about 10 times, sometimes across the country, more often from dorm to apartment, to another apartment. But I feel settled at home when I have my books and pictures hung up. In particular, pictures of my niece and nephews, as well as my two Degas prints, which I’ve had since I was a little girl (when I thought I was going to be a ballerina). My dad bought them for me, and I am not exactly sure what he said, but I remember him telling me that when I saw them, I knew I was at home. And when I moved into my first apartment, he brought these to me. I think besides my panda stuffed animal (that I got when I was 1ish, or so I’ve been told).
Coffee order or go-to drink order? I’m not a pure coffee drinker; I need a lot of cream and sugar to enjoy it. I drink tea, and I’ve found one that I can take without sugar [plug for Blue Lady Zest Tea]. But I would never say no to a vanilla latte, maybe with a bit of cinnamon (or a Pumpkin Spice Latte).
What Bible verse is anchoring you lately?
What’s one fear or insecurity you have to surrender to Him? There are two things: One is my finances — not that I’m struggling to make ends meet —but a huge part of my job is support raising (which I discuss more in my newsletters). But sometimes I am disappointed, I am not where I wish I was. One reason I moved to Houston was that I didn’t want to spend my vacation time and money on travel, and I haven’t traveled as much as I'd like. Also, I wish I had more set aside in my savings (I’m sure that's everyone), but I am focused more on paying off my student loans. And in doing support raising, I feel it attacks my insecurities.
Two: A desire for a relationship. A BIG desire of my heart is to be in a relationship, get married, and be seen and known for who I am. In that, I surrender my sense of security.
Actually, I am going through a Bible Study on the theme of submitting, can’t wait to share more on that.
What inspired you to restart this blog? I am more of a written processor than a verbal processor, but I do want to share my life and thoughts with others. Also, I would one day love to write a Bible Study, and as I ponder this, this is the outreach I have.
How do you stay grounded when life feels busy or heavy?
My quiet time, as mentioned on my “About Me” page, is sleeping in and having a long, quiet time (about 2 hrs) with a good cup of tea.
Music: while I like an eclectic mix, it depends on my mood; I find it grounding.
When stressed at work, I like to step outside for a Vitamin D break.
Going on walks
Or private dance party
Early bird or night owl?
If I could sleep late, I would be a night owl, so probably a mid-day magellanic peguin (I’m not sure that is a term, but penguins are one of my favorite animals).
Speaking of favorites:
Favorite drink- tea, vanilla lattes, sun joys aka Arnold Palmers, Dr. Pepper
Favorite food- Chinese or Italian
Favorite snack- granola bar, goldfish crackers
Favorite fast food- Chick-fil-A, Whataburger, MOD Pizza, and if I am back in Oklahoma, Braum’s
Favorite book- not sure. My favorite living author- Kate Morton
Favorite type of books - usually ones with a dual plotline where the past and present are interwined.
Favorite books in the Bible- Deuteronomy, Ruth, Psalms (if it is not too cliche to say), Luke, John, Romans, Ephesians, and Hebrews.
Favorite movie- Ever After, Clueless, Pride & Prejudice (1995), Bride and Prejudice, Sound of Music, most Marvel movies, Tangled, Muppets Christmas Carol, While You Were Sleeping, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Roman Holiday, (and more)
Favorite song- changes moment by moment
Favorite place to relax- my bed
Favorite hobby- writing
Favorite animal- Sea otter, giraffe, elephant, penguin, and koala bear
Favorite thing to do before bed: sipping sleepy-time tea and scrolling YouTube —should be praying, and reading a book.
I have not sat down and looked at this blog in over 9 years. The two biggest pieces of news since then are that I have moved from Boston to Houston and that I have been working at a faith-based nonprofit serving the immigrant and refugee community in Southwest Houston for over 4 years.
I will try not to do shop talk here, but it will bleed in as I am restarting this blog. I want to discuss my faith, my life, and all the randomness.
Despite what this blog shows, I have always liked writing since I was a kid. I used to fill (or half-fill) notebooks. I really started journaling in eighth grade and haven’t stopped, though now my prayers are filled with prayers and personal Bible study reflections. My love of blogging really began in middle and high school, when I would send long emails with updates about my life. My Grandpa once said, “Once you got through the list of sent emails (because I didn’t know about bcc back then), they were nice to read.” Then I started an Xanga page and then moved to Blogspot. I think I am more of an internal written processor, but I have a desire to share my thoughts with the world. And now, in my job as Communications Coordinator, I get to write both organizational and personal emails.
So why am I getting back into blogging?
I took a short sabbatical back in July and was encouraged to reflect on what gives me life. Writing. I will always come back to writing, being in God’s word, a good cup of tea, and being with people (but as a quiet introvert, it is a certain number of people within a safe place for me). Also, at that time, I thought about how I would one day like to write a Bible study... though I am not sure what that will look like.* So I am coming back to blogging to share my prayers, things on my heart as I go through my personal study, and maybe other things (I love books, TV, and movies). So that is what I hope to write about here.
So, here’s to a fresh start—dusting off this corner of the internet and seeing where it goes. I’m trusting that God will use this space for His glory and, maybe, even to encourage someone who stumbles upon it. This is a work in progress (as most things in life), so there will be a few tweaks here and there. Hope you stay tuned to see what comes next.
May the grace of God go with you till I see you again.
I hope you are all (who ever you are) are having a good week and are excited for the up coming weekend... I am, my mom is town and we are going to be enjoying some pampering, also doing a little bit of shopping and just enjoying some mom and daughter time. But before the weekend begins I just wanted to give you all a quick update on my life...
I tried readingRebecca by Daphne Du Maurier as it was recommend to me by my friend and while I was intrigued by the story I didn't get past 100 pages. One night I was reading in bed and the book Me Before You was sitting on my book shelf and I kept thinking I want to read that instead. So I began reading it. I will also admit while I have wanted to read this book for a while and when I saw the ad for the upcoming movie I was more intrigued... plus I love Sam Claffin (aka Finnick).
Re-watching trailer I think I am going to need tissues... Yep I am a sap.
Writing
I think I am two or three plot points away from being done, which feels very weird and cool all at the same time. Currently I am trying to type up every thing I have written out in order to get my mind settled on how I want to finish the story. I have it outlined and I know how I want to end in my head putting words on paper feels hard. But as I have been reminded I have to keep pushing myself.
I have been thinking more and more about preparing for my second draft and sharing my work. I know this goes against some advice but I am thinking of sharing the story through a blog format. I am not so concerned about being published or the money, and to me that sounds like a headache. For me it is more important to share my story with my friends and family and anyone else who reads this blog. But I am still thinking through this process.
For now I just have to finish the first draft.
Thinking about
Even though I am working on the first draft of my story my brain can't help but wander to my next story.
A couple of months ago I thought of a story line where a modern day girl finds a journal from the past only to find out that it is hers. Then a few weeks later I quickly jotted down this scene...
He was perched on the bench ready to jump into action, clasping the edge of the seat to make sure he didn't fall off. He eagerly awaited her to arrive on the incoming train.
Later I saw a man sitting on the T wearing a tweed jacket and sweater vest and the name Crispin came to meand wrote this out...
Crispin was wearing his best forest green collar button up with it nearly matching green tie, wool sweater vest with a red and gold diamond pattern, and his tweed jacket that had patches on the elbow. He loved that jacket, it had been his fathers and still smelled of his father's pipe tobacco. Crispin thought if gave him a scholarly look, and when her wore it he stood a bit taller. He been in the library shuffling through papers looking for some some notes on the archaeology diggings in Pakistan. His uncle had referred to it the other day and Crispin was certain his uncle had misquoted the author, however scholarly his uncle pretended to be he was always misquoting someone. Crispin had made it a game to look up the quotes to discreetly and politely correct him. He was shuffling through some papers when he caught out of the corner of his eye a movement in the garden. No one besides the gardener went out there after Aunt Edith passed away and even out of the corner of his eye he recognized this was not Marion, the crotchety old gardener, who was only kept on in respect of Aunt Edith. This movement was a woman who clearly did not want to be noticed. Crispin slammed the files shut and marched to the garden, he wasn't sure if was more curious by the woman's movement in the garden or angry someone would intrude on them. There had been tales of ghostly figures on the property and youngsters had mad it their mission to hunt these out and these escapades had happened more since Aunt Edith's death but never in the day time. Crispin was happy to finally be able to have his say in the matter once he captured the intruder.
I am greatly enjoying watching the last season of Downton Abbey and I am interested in seeing how it will all end. During the first season of Downton I didn't care for Edith at all but over time she has grown on me, she sometimes whines too much, I feel she is becoming more empowered. Now if only Mary could stop picking on her I would be happy. In this season I am feeling more sorry for Thomas or Mr. Barrows but I think if he had just been nicer earlier on more people would be rooting for him, but I do want him to be successful at the end of the series.
I do want Mary to be happy but I honestly don't understand why they made Henry a race car driver of course this was going to be a hang up for Mary after Matthew's death. I am actually surprised how long she has pursued him because of it... but I guess sometimes love is a risk. I think Branson was very wise (as he has always been) in the last episode.
Also I have been binge re-watching Hart of Dixie, which I enjoyed the second time as much as I enjoyed the first time and knowing what was going I enjoyed watching the character development more. I will say right now I wish Lavon and AnnaBeth had ended up together as I thought they were perfect together.
Plus she was good friend to both Lemon and Zoe even though they hated each other. Plus her fashion (minus some green eye shadow) was better than Lemon's... I know this shouldn't be the reason why she should be with Lavon but its true.
