The ABC's of Me

I thought I would end this week on a more positive light hearted note. Copied from Desirous of Everything

Found at Pintrest

A. Age: 25

B. Bed size: Single

C. Chores: Scooping my cat's litter box (fun right).

D. Dogs: I had a few dogs growing up but I have had malteses (little white balls of fluff), a silky terrier and a Lhasa Apso but now I have a cat but would one day love a King Charles Spaniel

E. Essential start to your day: Coffee and mascara

F. Favorite color: Pink, then blue and then maybe purple tied with green

G. Gold or Silver: Silver

H. Height: I am not sure 5'6" to 5'8"

I. Instruments you play: Nothing... tried the piano and viola but I am not musical though I do love to sing.

J. Job title: Membership Processor/ Student

K. Kids: Some day (2 hopefully then maybe adoption)

L. Live: Boston!



Found at Pintrest

M. Mother’s name: Lisa

N. Nicknames: BBB (from Dad), Little Bit (from Step-dad), Hiebey, bbhiebsch, Bliz

O. Overnight hospital stays: Well when I born.

P. Pet peeves: A few but sniffling annoys me the most

Q. Quote from a movie: "Now I need not call you Mr. Knightley, I can call you my Mr.Knightley,"- Emma from Emma (with Gwyneth Paltrow)

R. Right or left handed: Right.

S. Siblings: Hunter, Tyler, Laure
T. Time you wake up:  8:30 most days. 10 AM if I had a choice

U. Underwear: Not to bed.

V. Vegetable you hate: Brussel Sprouts

W. What makes you run late: Trying to decide on what to wear.

X. X-Rays you’ve had: Teeth

Y. Yummy food that you make: I like to bake cookies.
Z. Zoo Animal: Koala Bear. Cute and Awkward.

A page from my diary

Found at Pinterst

I am writing probably more honestly about my emotions then I have ever written.

But I can't keep it bottled up inside any more.

I am burnt out.

Yes, I am juggling going to school and working a full time job,

which is wearing me out

but if that was all I could trudge through to winter break and rest then

but it's not.

In my life I have wanted to be many things

but my heart has only wanted to be two things

a wife and a mother.

I have placed so much time and energy thinking and dreaming about those two things

I lose my focus.

But right now I am no where those goals.

In fact they feel so far away from me that they might as well be in California.



Found at Pinterst

And I don't know what to do...

in fact I feel lost.

I feel all around me that people are getting the things I want

and as happy as I am

I wonder why not me?

I feel this lacking on my life drains me

like little drips from a leaky sink

Found at Flickr

I know, I know

you are going to tell me to "find my identity in Christ"

but is that it, is that all you have to say.

That's not enough.

What does it mean?

What do I do with that answer?

I feel like my pain was just pushed aside.

I need to know what that means, and how to do it.

I am not looking for rules or an A+B equation

just something that gives me more insight in to where I am to go from here.

Because right now I feel I have lost my way,

lost my path,

and my plan.

And I am not for sure where to go.

Thanks for reading.

Techy Ponderment...

Found at Pinterst

Honestly, what did we do before we had computers?

I have been asking that myself a lot this week. Long story I have been with out a computer since Tuesday night and I have no idea what people did with out them. Fortunately my work has a computer, my school library has lots of computers, and I still have my blackberry so I can still function as if I still had my own personal computer.

But I am left wondering what did we do? We must have watched TV, when the show was actually on and not depend on Hulu for it. We must have listened to radio to discover a new song instead of having Pandora tell us what music we like. And we must have carried around dictionaries so we didn't depend on the red squiggly line to tell us we miss spelled. Actually I still carry around a pocket dictionary in my school bag because sometimes I spell so bad spell check doesn't even know what I am talking about.

Since the loss of my computer was so tragic I have been in a daze not knowing what to write here or what do with out it. But I must move on... mostly because I can't live in a non computer world. This weekend a friend of mine, who know way more about computers and I are going to look for a new one. Then I will have to find money to buy a new computer and get one. But on a quirky note I have already decided to name my new computer Susie Q...Please don't ask me to explain the logic in the name, I don't have any.

Hope you have a nice weekend. 

A Peg?



Image of Peg Dolls
Found at pinterest

 I know in high school every one tells you to "get out of your comfort zone experience something new." Maybe they were just telling me that because I seemed very pegged into a certain lifestyle. I don't mean to be a peg.  I think of myself as eclectic... liking music from Franki Valli and the Four Season to Beyonce and on the none pop side I am discovering a like for more The Dandy Warhol's and The Punch Brothers. But maybe I don't let people see my eclecticness (is that a word) because over this weekend I felt I had two incidences where people thought I wouldn't like something when I did. Maybe that sentence would work better if I described what I meant.

On Saturday night I went with out with kind of a new friend and some of her friends and we were walking back home she apologized for anything that made me feel uncomfortable. Which, on the surface is really nice. But I like over analyize things and I thought does she think I couldn't handle it, or I wouldn't like it. Maybe, yes I wouldn't have usually gone out to that bar. But that's only because I didn't know about it.

Picture of The Beehive

We went to The Beehive and I would say it is urban bohemian and a very cool atmosphere. And yes I may not have been my usual talkitive self but most of them were talking about architecture and I was just waiting for my way into the conversation since every one around me minus 2 girls were strangers. But I found it and eventually I was very comfortable talking. I don't really have "a scene" mostly because as long as its not too trashy or way to expensive I like a lot of things... I will go where people want to go. I don't go out very much so I don't have a usual place to go on a Friday or Saturday Night. But that doesn't mean just because it may not be my usual place (what ever that is) doesn't mean I won't like it. I loved being invited out and experiencing something new. And I bet I will go back again. So that is one instance where I don't like being pegged in for liking one thing over another.

If I don't know what it is how can I say I don't like it?

Another one incident where I felt like people pegged me was on Sunday. I was talking with a group of my friends. They were talking about all different groups in music. I said "I need a list so I can add these bands to my Pandora list." My friend gave me sort of a weird look and said "they were all blue grass". Okay? Maybe yes I wouldn't have usually chosen on my own to listen to blue grass but I can give it a shot. And I did. When I got home I actually googled Blue Grass Bands got some names (Alison Krauss & Union Station and Bela Fleck and the Flecktones) added them to my Pandora Quick Mix. While I was doing some homework I really liked it.  So yes before Sunday I would not have listened to blue grass music. But now that it is on my Pandora I will keep listening to it.

So if I don't know whats out there, how can I say I don't like it?

So yes, like most people I have a comfort zone rather it be in my movies I watch, the music I listen to and the places I like but that doesn't mean I can't discover something new and love it too. 

I just don't like being pegged into one catagory... I do want to explore whats out there just sometimes I need a little push.



Found at Pinterest

Okay these are just my thoughts from a non-peg.