My thoughts on Journaling

I love to journal. I have had one since the 8th grade when I took a poetry workshop, provided by the public library, and that author encouraged us to journal. Of course in the 8th grade I think I wrote about who I had a crush on at the moment and how I wanted him to like me. So nothing too insightful but what can be expected from an 8th grader. So when I was skimming this article "Reflective Journaling" on a website I like title I found it surprising that the author, Melissa Donavan, wrote "I realize that a lot of writers don’t bother with journals at all; they want to focus on the work they intend to publish." I know I am not published author but I can not imagine not keeping a journal. I fill my journals with prayers, letters I know I will never send to people but it helps me get my thoughts out, quotes I like, doodles (if I can't think what to say) or even book list. I guess in that sense I am " I’m a journal slob" like Melissa calls herself.

As a wannabe archivist I often wonder what people will think of my journals or how my journals will be cataloged, when I am long gone. I even imagine my kids finding my journals after I pass away and reading them. (I know it is a little weird.) But what will they think of my younger years... will they think I had too many crushes? Will they wonder why I repeatedly write letters to people I will never send? Will they think I am over dramatic? I don't know.


I know I find this intriguing because a few years ago my younger sister and I were staying at my Grandma's house and we found one of her old diaries from her college years. It was a five year journal so she wrote a little line in it every day about each day for 5 years. And at one point there was mention of a guy that wasn't my granddad. (I never asked her about it... it wouldn't be right). But as a wanna be writer I have tried to write many a stories that revolved around this plot line.

I like buying a new journal, I spend about 6 months with a journal, and when I get close to the end I go to a book store and buy a new journal. Different designs, different covers have stuck out to me over the years. Of course sometimes being on a college student budget I sometimes have to buy a 99 cent notebook from the drug store... but I figure I can collage them and that is great too. My junior year of high school I had a crush on a guy named Patrick and my friend (probably sick of hearing me talk about him) told me to buy a notebook with the guy Patrick from Sponge Bob. That way every time I thought of Patrick (my crush) I would look at my journal see this Patrick and slowly get over my crush, good idea but sadly it didn't really work.  Every time I get a new journal it feels like a fresh start.

I like this quote from Melissa..."Reflective journal writing has other practical applications, too. Poetry and stories can evolve from reflective journaling. And by striving to better understand ourselves, we may gain greater insight to others, which is highly valuable for fiction writers who need to create complex and realistic characters. The more deeply you understand people and the human condition, the more relatable your characters will be." I kind of gone off topic, but while I use this blog as my open journal, I have a much deeper journal at home... and I love it. I try to write in it (mostly my prayers) every night. So if you don't have a journal... I don't really know how you live. I mean you don't have to have an old fashion journal but with technology today surely you could keep one on you ipad or smart phone.


Basically I really like journaling and if you don't have a New Years Resolution maybe consider buying a journal and using it. Even if you don't write any great piece every one needs a place to get there thoughts out.

North and South

It took me since October but I have finally finished North and South!!! I am doing a happy dance only because it has taken me so long to read a book. Of course I have been attempting to read a novel while going to grad school and working a full time job. But still I did it. I finished it last night at 1:05 AM.

The biggest lesson I learned was if you are going to read a book in grad school make sure you can pick it up and be able to put it down again. I was only able to do this because I had watched the mini series of it a few months ago(for my blog post on that click here). I knew the plot and basically what was happening but sometimes I did get lost in Higgins dialect. I don't know factory workers actually talked back then but Elizabeth Gaskell did a good job I felt of being authentic. It wasn't until after I read the book I saw a little glossary in the back of all the slang.... so maybe that would have helped too.

I cannot decide if this is a spoiler alert or not... but for the most part the love story between Mr. Thorton and Margaret Hale is a lot like Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett. They both have assumptions about how the world should be. Margaret is kind of idealistic but her life has been kind of sheltered so it makes sense that she is shelter. Mr. Thorton though now he is on top, he has a hard life and that has made him hard. But Margaret's beauty, her idealism and even the way she stands up for the things that she sees as wrong make Mr. Thorton attracted to her. Then when she stands up to the crowd of picketers for Mr. Thorton every one is convinced she loves him. So he goes and proposes to her, like Mr. Darcy, she refuses him but still Mr. Thorton can't stop loving her. But both are very wrong in their perception of each other. Of course North and South is not as rosy as Pride and Prejudice, Margaret must go through a lot of heart ache before the end of the story. But some how through it all she still has her ideals intact. She also learns to love Milton, a place she thought she would never love. She also discovers she loves Mr. Thorton.

Since I have already written about this story in my Love some Melodrama post you can read the plot there. Plus I don't want to give too much away.

Over all while I enjoyed reading the book I think the movie is a must watch before trying to read. As a lot of things happens, there are a few different characters to keep track of and there are a few twist to follow. I can't yet tell if this a book I will read over and over again (like I do with my Austen's) or if this is a one time read. Maybe one day when I am not in grad school it won't take me so long to get through it.

But now on to my next book A Jane Austen Education. It was recommended to me by roommate who shares a love of Jane Austen. It is about a guy reading Jane Austen and discovering life truths in her novels. So far he is anti-Jane Austen but from his first paragraph he seems to turn into a Jane Austen fan (more proof that men can like Jane Austen). It is not a novel so I look forward to some non-fiction.

" I was twenty six, and about as dumb, in all human beings, as any twenty-six-year-old has the right to be, when I met the woman who would change my life. That she'd been dead for a couple hundred years made not the slightest difference whatsoever. Her name was Jane Austen, she would teach me everything I know everything that matters."- William Deresiewics (first paragraph).

New Year Resolution

Hello lovely readers,

In my post of My not so New Year Resolution I wrote how this year I wanted to live in the moment. When I told my friend what I wanted to do this year. She liked it because it was big and ideal.

It is big and ideal... so let me think of simpler ways to put it into practice.

Goal #1...Remember the people in my life are a blessing and not to be forgotten. I have a few friends that are no longer in life (mostly due to moving) and if I want them to be in my life I must be active. Even it is as small as texting them.

I wouldn't send a text like this but I thought it was funny.

Goal #2.... Don't watch so much TV. I don't think I watch that much TV just to watch TV. I use it for its noise. When my apartment is quiet I realize more often than not I turn on the TV just to have noise so I don't feel a lone.  But maybe I could listen to music or if I feel lonely I could reach out to some one. Or maybe I could go to a coffee shop or the library. (Still thinking this one out).

Goal #3....Make room for the present. Yesterday and today I woke up looking at my room and I was inspired to get rid of things, or at least hide them away, to make room for things that are happening right now.

Sorry not good photo quality taken from phone

For example I have this little bulletin board that has gotten so full I can't even see the flower background. So I had to un-clutter it so I could put things on it that are important to me now... not in the past. I want to keep moving things around so I can make room for my present. 

Goal #4... Spend more time with God. A few nights ago during my quiet time I told God I was sorry for not spending more time with him that week, then I wrote (I journal all my prayers) "the reason I tell myself I don't need to pray is because nothing has changed." I realize that is not looking at prayer right. Prayer is not a report or a check-in. So I need help reconstructing my idea of prayer.

If I think of more I will keep you posted. 

A Relaxing New Year's Day

Previews of my writings...

Before the Ball 

"A ball how wonderful," Gloria said dancing around the table.

           

"Indeed but Mrs. Taylor hardly needs advice on how to throw a ball, she has thrown the same summer eve ball for the last six years, she must be a seasoned pro."

            "But Miss James must know all the latest trends when it comes to balls," Emmy said to her mother. "She is so well cultured."

            "Yes indeed she seems to have a way of making friends where ever she goes. Nicholas could not have chosen a better partner."

            "Partner? Mother, you make it sound like a business."

            "It is in some respects, and not an easy one."

            "But a marriage should not be a business?"

            "Only in some respects, you will discover a great deal more about it when you get married."

            "If I get married."

            "You must have hope dear Emmy you are only sixteen."

            "You met father when you were seventeen and married him by twenty."

            "Four years is a long time you still get plenty of time," Fiona kissed her daughter on the forehead. 

            "Yes mother."

            Emmy didn't know then if she ever wanted to get married and she didn't know if she was to morn or rejoice over it. She wanted to passion that was for sure but she also wanted adventure, to see the world and everything in it but how could one do that and be a wife and mother? At sixteen she didn't have the answer.

            Gloria distracted her thoughts for awhile as she begged their mother to go to the ball.

            "Are you mad? You are far too young."

            "I will be thirteen soon."

            "Thirteen is still far too young."

            "But?"

            "You will just have to wait till you're older."

            "When will I ever be old enough to do anything."

            Gloria crossed her arms and fell into a chair slumping further than appropriate.

            Fiona turned to Emmy "I think though Emmy you are old enough. You are sixteen and Laurel went to her first ball at sixteen."

            "But I barely know how to dance and I have nothing to wear."

            "Well I can teach you more and you can borrow one Laurel's dress. You just have to promise to be careful with it."

            "Oh I will."

            "Good then its settled, Emmy will be going to her first ball," without keeping a beat seeing Gloria's sad puppy look "and you will go when you are sixteen and not a moment sooner."

            Gloria sighed.

            The girls had a mostly quiet afternoon until a surprise gift came for Emmy more flowers a beautiful arrangement from Miss Dashwood's nursery in town. The card did not say who they were from giving the house mild gossip over dinner time.

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Emmy's Fluttering Heart 

That night at dinner everyone noticed the change in Emmy. Even Caleb who took a shine to her and insist that play a hand of cards together and as no one would join in they were left in conversation to themselves Emmy kept doing as Kathryn told her to do and she did glow as Kathryn had predicted. By the end of the game Caleb had requested two dance with her.

            "Well done Miss James," Julia said to Kathryn. "It looks like you might have a new sister."

            "No Caleb is a good brother but he gets amused quickly and then fleets away even quicker. Though I do think she will break more hearts than she realizes."

            "I doubt it, the family has no money."

            "Money hardly matters when it comes to matters of the heart," Kathryn said taking a sip of her champagne cocktail.

            "Besides Aunt Fiona will never let her marry till Laurel is well settled. All their hope depend upon Laurel marrying well."

            "Yes do you know of any attachment for Laurel, she seems so distant."

            "There was a young man the family had hoped would propose but nothing came of it."

            "How sad."

            "Yes it is, Laurel was so alive when he was around."

            "Well we must find someone to replace that man perhaps Nicholas has a friend I could math them up when they come to Boston. Both of them would do well out of the house."

            "You are so kind Kathryn it makes me wish I had such a generous nature," Julia took a large swig of her drink and left Kathryn's side nothing she said was going to un-charm Kathryn away from the Cromwell girls.

            By the time of the ball it seemed Caleb and Emmy were hardly inseparateble. He taught her how to drive around the driveway and he took a keen interest in being shown the woods. As they could not convince anyone else to go out on their walks they were often alone. Emmy loved theses moments alone with him. She imagined them being caught in rain storm with no place to run for shelter, the air would smell fresh as it always did during a summer rain, and he would kiss her. But they were never caught in a rainstorm and when they walked together he was always a gentleman not standing too close to her. He would offer her his hand if they had rocks to step over but would never hold onto to her longer than needed. Those times with Caleb were far better than any moment she had had with a crush and figured this was what ultimately true love; like Guinevere and Lancelot or Romeo and Juliet except a lot less violence and no death, Emmy told herself.

To read more click here