A little bit of light

"Why does anyone lie? Cuz we're scared? Or crazy? Or just mean?... There's a million reasons why a person lies... But sometimes, you tell a lie so big... that it changes your whole life... Lie's so big... it makes you think... "

-Willy Jack Pickens "Where the heart is"

It came to me to me in church... it is a long story. My church is going through the book of Luke and today we read the text of Luke 11:1-21, 29-35. We read it in kind of a mix up order but the part of it that stuck out to me was the part about Jesus casting out the demon of a man. I know because of Hollywood we think of demons in probably an odd way, my pastor talked about the movies like The Exorcism, of course I just watched the movie Disney movie Hercules so I had the image of Pain and Panic in my head. Any way, whatever we imagine is probably not right. The way my pastor described it was Satan can tell us lies about who we are, and sometimes we can get a relationship with those lies more than the truths God created. 


I know this is very true of myself. I don't know how or when but some where in my life I was told that I was unworthy of love. I wasn't actually told that but I hear it whispered in my ear a lot. I have believed and clung to a lie that I was unworthy of love for so long. I have love in my life but sometimes I feel like no matter what I do I won't be good enough for the love that is around me. Or in other words there is this standard to be met and what ever I do I can not meet the standard. 

Like a pole vaulter now being able to get over the bar

It is a deep trapped feeling and it is not a happy thought process... so I don't know why I cling to this lie. But my pastor said that spiritual forces exist to lie and destroy all the good in the world. It is true when I am in a good place with the Lord these lies don't whisper to me but when I have pulled away from the Lord they are at their loudest. But these spiritual forces can be defeated. The most important way to counter act this is a life of prayer. Through this life style we allow more light to come in and see less darkness. 

I think this will be an on going thing. I obviously still carry many scars around with me. 

Then we discussed Luke 11:9,10

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened."

We have to keep to asking God. Asking God shows our venerability and it shows that he is in charge. Then we have to seek. We have to seek out the directions from God and the places in our lives that need to change, or the places that we still have darkness with in us. And knock, we can't just ask because it is not just about what we pray it is mostly about our actions. My pastor said the quote..

Pray like it all depends on God, then when you are done, go work like it all depends on you.

-Martin Luther

(It is very important that it is in that order)

The quote from Where the Heart is came to me as I was walking home from lunch. I wasn't wondering so much why we lie, I was wondering more why stick with the lies. We know they aren't true but I guess like Willy Jack Pickens said "we are scared" and we let the lies grow so big they just become a part of us. But we all need a let a little bit more light in our lives and let go of the darkness we carry around. This might be a life time journey. 

For more information on my church click here

A Sunday Song

All Sons and Daughters- Let It Shine

The band preformed this song today at church and it really resonated with me. 

I am still processing the sermon it was really good and insightful into my life. 

Hope you had a good weekend.

Don't judge me by my pin boards

Okay you can judge by my Pinterest board... 

I mean after all I have "planned" my whole wedding via Pinterest and I am single. 

Best to make fun of myself

And yes I have planned out my entire imaginary wardrobe and I never go clothes shopping

 and designed my future dream home. 

But I have used it mostly to find pretty and funny pictures to use for my blog.

But I have also found great songs and videos on it. 

And my obsession for Downton Abbey, Gilmore Girls, Jane Austen, Coffee and Chocolate, 

and all things pink are quite obvious.

But yes I do collect recipes I hope to one day have to have the skills to make. 

And yes I do have pin boards dedicated to being a hopeful romantic and to flowers I like. 

And I have a board dedicated to all the places I want to see. 

I even have a board dedicated to men I have Hollywood crushes on 

(there are too many to show pictures of).

And for my rebellious side I have a wall dedicated to the tattoos I would get if I was to ever get a tattoo. 

(Don't worry mom... I am not getting a tattoo) 

But seriously if your not on Pinterest what are you waiting for.

Here is a little tutorial.

If you want an invitation you can contact me and I will be happy to send you one.

On your mark, get set... go!

Go the Distance- from the movie Hercules

Good motivation for the start of new semester. 

Today was my first semester of my spring semester and my first semester being a full time grad student. Now I won't usually post about every day in school... I don't want to bore you guys. But I want to celebrate this small accomplishment of going full time. As much stress as it causes me my grad school is a big BLESSING for me. I have wanted to go to grad school since I was in undergrad but I took a year off so I could claim independent financial status. But then due to personal reasons I had to make a year off a year and a half off. I have also been going to school part time for the last year and working full time so to have the stability now where I can go to school full time feels AWESOME. Last night I was thanking God that he has allowed me to go to grad school and he has kept this door open. I am also lucky/blessed that I get to go to school in a city I love so much. 

Let me start off on a good note. Today with the weather you would not know it was the end of January. If you remember on Sunday I posted pictures of the snow around Boston. Well today the high got up to the 50s. I grabbed an ice coffee after my second class to enjoy while I am doing homework. I even saw people sitting outside during my lunch break... it does not feel like winter. 

Snow mostly melted from Simmons Campus

I also caught up with a friend in the cafeteria, and we had lunch together and I saw my roommate twice in on campus. Last semester I never saw her I guess, not that I will be on campus more I will see more people.  That will be nice not to be running into class after work or running to work after class. But I sadly think that is where the good news ends. 

After my first class I was doing to many things at once and dropped my traveler mug in just the right place where the handle broke off.  It can still hold coffee... but I won't be using it on the T any more. 

Also I did have a Legally Blonde moment today where I was not prepared for my management class. It wasn't as bad for me as it was for Elle Woods because most of the class wasn't prepared... due to a miss-communication about where to find the syllabus. Which means instead of doing one week's assignment I now have to do two weeks.

I don't know if this is good or bad but I am thankful that I don't have a Valentine this year because both my Tuesday classes have assignments due that day and it looks like I will spend the weekend before Valentines Day and probably Valentines Day in the library doing homework. 

My Calendar for Valentines Day 

I know you probably don't need to see a picture of my calendar but I did make a blogging goal to take more pictures of life and I thought it was funny. 

Again I don't think you need a picture of my desk but in my blogging goals to take more pictures of my life I thought I would share that right now my desk is pretty organized but I am sure in a few weeks it will be covered in papers. (I will keep you posted). 

Well now I should hit the books at least until Parenthood tonight. 

Have a good day!