Monday, June 4, 2012

The Engagements

{pic}

The second part of  "The Sisters and the Engagements"

The next day Laurel came down stairs and saw a few of Aunt Iris' friends but in the afternoon she adjourned back to her room and she did not feel well enough to go to Uncle Charles' and Aunt Iris' dinner party. Aunt Iris did not feel comfortable leaving Laurel alone so Emmy was attended to party by Mr. Dumont. Mr. Dumont was not the most sociable person so people were a bit surprised to see him without his wife but accepted him just the same. Emmy apologized to host and hostess for the change of plans. Uncle Charles paid no mind and Aunt Victoria was sorry she didn't know of her niece's sickness, when she said this she almost had a look of remorse so Emmy believed her. The when she was out of the receiving line she looked around and realized besides Mr. Dumont she knew no one in the room. She recognized some of them from the wedding but could not think of the names to go with the faces so she didn't feel comfortable approaching anyone. She saw Caleb standing in the corner talking to another group of men, she caught his glance for a bit and smiled. He smiled back but then coldly returned to his conversation.
"Miss Emmy," it was Mr. Foster.

"Mr. Foster, I did not know you would be here."

"Your aunt was kind enough to invite me. She needed a seat filler," he giggled a bit.

"Aw for me it was a family obligation."

"Where is your family?"

"Mr. Dumont has been pulled in with the other married men. Laurel was not feeling well enough to come and Mrs. Dumont stayed home with her."

"Miss Cromwell is sick?"

"A slight fever, the doctor said she would be fine."

"You called a doctor?"

"Yes Mr. Foster but like I said, he said she will be fine she just needs rest."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, he is coming back next week to check up on her but Dr. Clark has been Mr. and Mrs. Dumont's physical for years he is completely trustworthy." Emmy saw Ethan's face change to worry over this conversation she lightly touched his arm. "If you want Mr. Foster, I can send word when Dr. Clark comes back."

"Yes Miss Emmy that will be nice."

"Now, Laurel told me for me not to be worried about her and told me to have a good time, I suggest you to do the same."

"Of course, I cannot having you go back to your sister with a bad report and since Mr. Dumont is preoccupied it is up to me show you off. Come on we can be second string invites together." Mr. Foster then stuck out his arm so he could escort her around.

"Thank you Mr. Foster," Emmy smiled one of her sweet smiles.

When they were at Pine Haven she saw Mr. Foster as a quiet and reserved man almost to the point of boredom and could never figure out why Laurel liked him. Though after few minutes with him she saw a soft side of him that was very caring and he made her laugh more than once through the night the night with his little jokes. And he did his job of showing her off to all her the best of society.

Eventually Aunt Victoria came up them. "My dear Mr. Foster, thank you so kind for entertaining my niece. Now Emmy tell me all about Laurel," she took her arm and started to pull her away.

"Mr. Foster please find me after dinner," Emmy said before she could get away.

"Yes Miss Emmy."

When they were out of hearing range Aunt Victoria gave her real reason for pulling Emmy away. "Be careful Emmy dear, people are whispering."

"Whispering about what?"

"You and Mr. Foster, what else?"

"What else indeed, he is a good friend of the family."

"Yes everyone knows his connection to your family. Sitting with you at church, spending the day at your house and now you guys are joined at the hip."

"What? You must be joking."

"We all thought it was your older sister he admired but now you are raising questions and I must say it is quite unbecoming for a young lady especially a young lady being just presented into society. You cannot chance ruining your good reputation before you have one."

"Aunt Victoria, I think you are worrying too much. I do not have any intentions towards Mr. Foster as far as I am concerned he and Laurel are meant to be together."

"Then behave better."

"Yes aunt," Emmy said as the dinner gong rung.

Mr. Dumont was good for being at her side two seconds later to escort her into dinner. He apologized for leaving her alone but Emmy told him it was alright. He either didn't hear the whispers going around or he did not care, both of those reasons made sense for Emmy and she was glad he didn't have any time to ask her follow up questions.

Though Emmy felt like a second string invite, she got a high seat of honor sitting at the right hand of her aunt. It was only correct that Emmy be giving a high spot of honor, after all she was the niece of the host and hostess but it was nice recognition. She might have had a high seat of honor, her aunt paid little attention to her and Emmy's other dinner partner was Reverend Cole, who was at least a hundred and had no interest in speaking. She looked diagonally across the table and saw Mr. Foster who sat three seats away Mr. Foster who sat three seats away from her on the opposite side allowing no conversation to happen but he smiled at her then rolled his eyes at the conversation his dinner partners were having. Both girls looked like persnickety girls that cared more about the fashion of the party than having an actual intelligent conversation.

"Why would he be so sweet to me and be so concerned about Laurel if he was engaged to another girl. No it could not be right Caleb must have been wrong," Emmy thought.

"Well cousin, you are getting some whispering about, I hope you are proud of yourself," Julia said after dinner when the men and women separated.

"All the whispering is ridiculous, I have no attentions towards Mr. Foster as I told your mother."

"I hope not you would not want to crush her sister's heart."

"I have no attentions."

"You are such a good, sweet, innocent girl and way too idealistic."

"Thank you cousin."

"It will not do at all if you plan to stay in Boston. Everyone know to survive in the real world you must be sweet and innocent on the outside and cunning on the inside."

"Perhaps then I don't belong in Boston."

"Perhaps not."

"But while I am here I will learn from your ways and then all the men will want me."

The words could be sweet but the tone was far from anything sweet. Emmy could not tell you what it was about her cousin that brought out the worst in her. She used to love her cousin but after this summer she saw her cousin as a manipulative person always looking for trouble. Emmy thought her cousin would be great as a Shakespeare villain, much in the vein of Iago from Othello.

After Emmy and Julia exchanged their pleasantries the men returned to their women. No one could miss what happened next Caleb nodded to Julia when he came in the room and she cut through the party to him. Uncle Charles then clinked his glass calling the attention to him

"If my wife could join me, we have some pleasant news to announce," Aunt Victoria joined him in no time. "We kept it quiet till our eldest, Nicholas, was married bit now we are pleased to announce our daughter Julia will be marrying Mr. Caleb James."

The room began spinning for Emmy. All the claps and clinks of glasses blurred together and she felt her knees go weak. Her vision then got hazy and then she was gone. The next thing she knew she woke up in one of aunt's guest room.

She had collapsed, and unlike Laurel who gained consciousness right away Emmy stayed out while Mr. Foster picked her up and at Aunt Victoria's insistence carried her up to a guest room. Then he was ushered out of the room so the maids could take off her dress and loosen her corset. Of course they thought it was her corsets pulled too tight, it was frequent for girls to lose breath with their corsets pulled too tight even with the more natural form styles that were in fashion.
Little did they know Ethan Foster paced in the hall outside of Miss Emmy's door till he heard that she was alright. Mr. Dumont was there too but he just leaned against the wall not saying much.
"How is she doing Mrs. Danford?" Ethan asked she came out of the room.
"She is awake now."
"Good, then I think should order my motor coach and we can bring her down when it arrives," Mr. Dumont said calmly.
"I do not think that is a good idea, I would not want to upset her, I think she should spend the night her. We will send word after breakfast if she is up to leaving," Mrs. Danford said.
Before Ethan could say he agreed Julia was at the top of the stairs.
"Mother, come quickly the guest are talking about leaving. This is my night and I will not let Emmy is fainting ruin it," Julia had her temper fit tone.
"Alright, darling, alright I will be right down."
"No mother, I need you now or else this whole night will be ruined."
{pic}
This is left the gentlemen alone.
"Mr. Foster thank you for being so concerned over Miss Emmy, I am sure my wife will want to express her thanks as well, they meant the world to her. When she is home please come by."
"Thank you Mr. Dumont. Please send her my regards and give Miss Cromwell all my best wishes for her to feel better soon."
" I will. I'd better be off, I am sure by now Mrs. Dumont would have received word of Miss Emmy and I will have to calm her down."
Both Mr. Dumont and Ethan Foster snuck out of the party. Mr. Dumont did it quickly after saying his farewell to Ethan but Ethan stayed a bit, he could not leave the house thinking any second he could be needed to fetch a doctor, or send word to the Dumonts, or really anything. Then Mr. Danford came up stairs a little sloshed from the festivities below. Mr. Danford was usually the first one to turn in, he stat it was because he had business to attend to but in reality he was either too bored or too drunk or both to be in a party mood.
"Go on son, go on home, we will notify you right away if she gets worse," was all he said when he passed by Ethan Foster in the hall.
"Yes sir."
Then Ethan slipped out. It was warm October night which was uncommon for how late in the season it was. The summer air had disappeared but there was still a sense of warmth that lingered. Because of this walk home. The Danfords lived near Berkley on Commonwealth and he lived near Dartmouth on Marlborough, it would not be worth hassle of ordering his automobile for the five blocks. Plus his thoughts were preoccupied and he needed the walk to clear his them out. They should have been on Miss Emmy after all she was the one that fainted, but Laurel was stuck in his brain. He pretended not to hear the whispers at the party as a man it was easier to ignore idle gossip. He had though, everyone snickering at his behavior to Emmy calling them suitors and making other false accusations. How would he ever be able to explain it to Laurel? She had seem so cold the other to him and now this would not help her thoughts of him. He thought he could put it all behind him, he never should have sent her the book, it would just give her hope and he could not lead on like that. The news of his engagement would crush her.
To read more click here

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Sister Saturday

I have been trying to find a picture that captured some of the sentiment of the following scene from my story... but I could not. However, since this scene is about sisters finally bonding together I thought I would share some of my favorite pictures of my sisters and I (okay the middle one is not my sisters but Edwardian appropriate).

I have two lovely sisters both who inspire me probably more than they know. 
For Pic in middle 
So here is the first part of my edition "The sisters and the engagements"

Once dinner was over Emmy politely excused herself to Laurel's room. Laurel was not awake but Emmy didn't care she undid her shoes and let down her hair and pulled up close to her sister.

            The next part was all said in a soft whisper as to not disturb her sleeping sister. "Oh Laurel I have not been a good sister, I don't know what happened to us we used to be as thick as thieves. You were always my best friend the one I told everything and sometimes I miss you. I guess you grow up after father died making sure our family kept above water. You were always there for us, always the head strong, common sense one, that we depend up to get things right and I was the non-sensible, foolishly idealistic one and after father died I just wanted to escape into a dreamy world of fantasy. It was a world of fantasy. It was a world we once shared but then you faced reality and I never could. Oh Laurel, I am sorry for any of my foolishness that I caused you pain, I am sorry I am not more dependable like you, I wish I could be?"

            "Don't be," Emmy looked and saw Laurel looking at her.
            "I am sorry Laurel, I didn't mean to wake you."
            "I am glad you did. Emmy don't be like me I am too structured and everyone thinks I am too unfeeling. I am sure that is what drove Ethan away."
            "What do you mean?"
            "I could not express my feelings to Ethan Foster not to him, not even to my sister or my mother because I am so structured I couldn't let someone know my heart. When I saw you gave your heart so openly to Mr. James I admit I was a little jealous of your spirit and heart."
            "Really?"
            "Yes, while sometimes you don't always think before you talk and you act as if everything was novel, you have such a passionate spirit."
            "Don't wish that, it sometimes causes more regrets than happiness."
            "We just need to figure out how I can be a little bit more like you and for you to be a little bit more like me then we will be the perfect puzzle piece."

            Emmy looked into Laurel's eyes and saw a happy tenderness she had not seen in a long time. The girls curled up next to each other for the night and the morning Laurel was able to come down for breakfast. Aunt Iris was so happy to see some color in her niece's cheeks she made sure to serve them an extra large helping. Though Laurel's color had returned she felt tired after breakfast and went back to bed.
            "Aunt, we have to figure out if what Caleb told me about Mr. Foster being engaged is true or not."
            "How are we going to do that? Spy on him."
            "No, I don't know."
            "Sweet heart I think we should stay out of Mr. Foster and Laurel's business."
            "I wish I could but she is my sister, I cannot risk seeing her potentially having her heart broken."
            "Emmy dear I know you mean well but I hate to admit it but broken hearts are a part of growing up. As much you like to live in a hopeful romantic world sometimes relationships do not work out and Mr. Foster and Laurel might not work out," Aunt Iris saw Emmy's face go sad. "Then again they could live happily ever after and if they are meant to be together they will be without our meddling."
            "All right Aunt Iris."
            "You promise Emmy you will not interfere."
            "Yes aunt I promise," Aunt Iris lifted Emmy's chin to look into her eyes.
           
            "Eyes never lie," was an expression Fiona was always telling Emmy and whenever she wanted to know whether Emmy was lying she looked her square in the eyes.

            Emmy was not lying this time she promised her aunt that she would not meddle and she would not meddle no matter what her romantic heart told her to do.


To read about the surprise engagement that is to follow... click here

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Hopeful Thursday

{Pic}
Outside my quiet time I am reading verses that have the word hope in them... here is the first verse...


No one whose hope is you
will ever be put to shame, 
but they will be put to shame
who are treacherous with out cause.
-Psalm 25:3

For all of Psalm 25 click here

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Things I'm afraid to tell you

{Pic}
The idea for this post was originally inspired by this blogging trend that went around a few weeks ago. I found it through one of my favorite bloggers Sarah at Well and Cheaply  she found it through another blogger Creature Comforts the idea behind these post are for bloggers to become more vulnerable "in an effort to make the bigger blogging community a better place" to read more click here.  I started writing this post but I felt like all I was doing was whining so I never published it. But now I am more inspired by a series my church is doing called Undone for those messages click here. I have been thinking lately a lot about things that have been holding me back in my life and in my faith. On Monday after my quiet time I wrote this poem... it is still in its infancy phase but I wanted to share it.*

I hear a voice
I know it well
   it tells me over and over
I am unworthy
I am unable to be loved
and when I look in the mirror
   it tells me 
I am ugly.

This voice is closer to me
   than a friend
and been around me 
   since I was a little girl. 

I hide my face 
   admit defeat
and walk with shame.

I hope no one else 
  can see these failings
I hope today my mask
  of goodness stays in place. 

When I am strong
   I pick myself up
and tell the voice "no"
  I am worthy
  I am loved
  and I will prove it. 
So I do my best
   on my own 
   to fight against it
   but I fail.

I hear the voice
I know it well.
It mocks me for trying
it points out my scars
   and my pain
it points out the wrongs 
   I commit 
   and how I will always keep failing.
Because of these
it tells me over and over 
I am unworthy 
I am unable to be loved 
and when I look in the mirror
    it tells me
I am ugly.

So I continue with my mask 
    of goodness 
always adjusting it 
so people see 
what they want to see. 

They see a smile
   and that's what I want
because who loves a girl 
   who curls up in bed and cries
who loves a girl that is 
   falling apart
   lonely,
   and scared. 

They see a smile
   and that's what I want. 
But I hear a voice 
    and I know it well
a voice that is quick to cut
a voice that is louder than all others 
and a voice I would die to silence.

I hear it
bury my head in shame
admit defeat
and curl up in a dark spot.

There I sit
but there I hear a whisper 
it is very soft
"my child", "my love"
"my beauty", "my creation."

"You must have me wrong"
I tell the whisper.

But it repeats
"my child", "my love"
"my beauty", "my creation."
I open my eyes
see nothing there
so I doubt its existence.
"My child","my love"
"I am here for you
in darkness to be your light,
to be your hope
when you feel hopeless,
and to be your strength 
when you can't pick yourself up.
Remain in me 
and I will remain in you."

When I cling to that whisper 
the voice softens 
when I concentrate on that whisper
the shame of my failings 
    go away
and when I take in that whisper 
I feel blessed and loved.

But the voice is always there
always quick to cut
and some times louder 
   than a battle cry.
But so is the whisper
it remains too.
I have to listen harder
  to hear it 
  but it is there
it calls to me over and over again.
"My child", "my love"
"my beauty", "my creation"
"I am here for you
I am here with you
   and I love you." 

{Pic}
* to my mom I know you read my post sometimes and worry about me please don't worry I am clinging to the whisper.