Monday, October 5, 2015

The Possibilities were Boundless...

 Hello Lovely Readers,

A few weeks a go I posted "He waited for her..." where I mentioned one way of getting over writers block was to change the point of view of the author. I really enjoyed that exercise and sharing that part of my writing with you. Another piece of advice I have heard is skip to a new scene. Right now in my outline I have my book in 3 parts- the last part is mainly set after WWI with flashbacks to the war. So I began writing about November 1918- I always think of the end of the war being this great moment... but what if it wasn't so great. Earlier this year I read After the War is Over and the character talks about how lonely she feels at the moment that peace is declared. This gave me a new perspective on a way to slant my story...
{Celebrating End of the War}

November, 1918

They declared peace, Armistice, but it didn't feel like peace to Mattie's heart. Marcus had been missing in action for three months, Lord Parker had used all of his influence to help them out and that is all they knew. The whole country stood in silence as the King commanded and Mattie couldn't help but wonder how could something so longed for feel so empty? Marcus was missing and she hadn't heard from Kelby in over a month, she felt it in her heart that one or both men she loved would not come back. It was awful to think such a way when all of the world was finally breathing a sigh of relief , of joy, of hope. The quiet moment passed and then the people rejoiced. 

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I wrote this scene out but then I got stuck again not knowing where to take this scene...Then I attended a writing workshop where we had to take a character, with the questions our writing partner ask really form that character and what they wanted. The twist was not give the character what they wanted. My whole story is a love story between Mattie and Kelby... so the thing Mattie probably most wants is Kelby. My writing partner suggested that maybe Kelby gets engaged... WHOA! As writer I didn't want to put Mattie though that pain, but to go with the workshop I did write out the scene... at the time I did not know how to include it in my story. Here is the scene:

She hadn't heard from him in over a month, she had tried not to let her imagination go crazy with all the possibilities that could have happened to him, but this was war, the possibilities were boundless. Kelby had known that her beloved brother had been missing in action for three months, and Kelby would surely know the terror that was bringing her heart. Kelby would not drag her through more pain id he could prevent it, so why did he not write?

Julia had told Mattie that she was certain Kelby's letters got lost in the mail, he was on the front lines after all in France and with thousands of letters coming back and forth one was bound to be lost. Mattie told Julia, she was right, hoping that if she spoke those words her heart and mind would believe them. She couldn't though, Julia was the typical hopeless romantic who got lost in the fantasy of love never wanting to face the realities. Mattie never told Julia that her parent had forbidden Kelby and her relationship and because of that she clung more to every letter he wrote. All they had were words, stolen glances, and moments together that were too short for either of them. Mattie hadn't even meant to tell Julia about Kelby not writing, but one night Julia caught her crying as Mattie was washing out bed pans and Mattie came clean about the whole thing. 

It was hard at that moment to breathe and think what could have happened to Kelby. She couldn't assume the worse, had the worse happened surely Mrs. Foster would have written her, or she would find his name on the list. The ever growing list in the newspaper that haunted her dreams. Mattie combed over that list everyday in hopes of not seeing Marcus or Kelby's name. "After this war I am never reading a newspaper again," she told herself everyday.

{Lily Elise}
Mattie hated every moment she wasn't in the hospital, in the hospital she could pull her mind away from the strain of her thoughts. Sister Bennett had insisted Mattie to take a half day, when she realized that Mattie had worked fourteen day straight. However, Mattie had to work it was the only thing that kept her sane even that was becoming impossible as she heard Kelby's name even if no one said it.

Last week while she was taking tea she heard two volunteers talking about their Tommies both trying to out do each other. Then Gwendolyn Howard spoke how she gotten engaged to a man over in France though it was all a secret. Gwendolyn Howard, had the look of Lily Elise being both striking and classically beautiful all at same time. Mattie predicted had the war not come Gwendolyn would have pursued the stage as well, for every girl felt coarse and ordinary next to her. Even Sister Bennett liked Gwendolyn and Sister Bennett usually disdained pretty volunteers as she saw them more of a distraction. Even Mattie couldn't judge her on this front as Gwendolyn had a strong work ethic and she had been to France and served in a field hospital. Apparently she had gotten engaged to a man air in France, Gwendolyn told that to another volunteer. She spoke of him being a medic and that he wanted to be a doctor when the war was over. 

 Mattie was clinging on her every word at this point, all these descriptions made her think of Kelby. 

"And his name?" the other girl asked. 

Mattie didn't hear Gwendolyn response for just as she was about to whisper it Sister Bennett called for her. Mattie couldn't admit that she was ease dropping and ask Gwendolyn to repeat herself.

What if Kelby did get engaged? He had pledged himself so faithfully the last time she saw him but even more than six months ago. Perhaps absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder, perhaps it makes the hear forget. How could he forget her though, they had known each other their whole lives. Maybe in war that didn't matter? Gwendolyn had been to the front and seen his world, Mattie could never compete with that. She had felt so distant from him in their letters, he talked about life and death, about rats nibbling at his toes, and mud that couldn't be cleaned off his hands. What did she write about? The newest sheet music she had learned, the war fund event she had persuaded to go to so another volunteer could see one of her suitors, and tirelessly cleaning pots. He had inisted she write of life and he told her the talk of the hospital depressed him as he hoped to never end up there. He wrote her he only wanted to survive but if he should be injured he wanted a quick death. These were not thoughts of romance and true love. Maybe Gwendolyn knowing the world he had been in could give him what he needed. A tear rolled down her cheek at this thought. 
 
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Thursday, October 1, 2015

A Work in Progress...


Hello lovely readers,

My church is going through a series in Ephesians and we are talking about God taking the badness in our lives and reshaping it to make it good. This week were discussing Ephesians 2:1-10. I am not a poet (though in high school I wrote a few poems mostly about the guys I had crushes on) however I was inspired to write this poem.

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You may call me a hypocrite
Do you think I don't call myself that...
I know my flaws
I see all them stare at me
   when I look in the mirror
I see them before I put on my makeup
   and before I have my first cup of coffee
I try to hide them behind this mask
But I see them before you
I feel them and know them fully
They call me by name
    and regretfully I welcome them in
They surround me when I stumble and fail
They remind me of my worthless,
    junky state of being.
So don't call me a hypocrite
When I call Jesus my Lord,
Because I know all my flaws and sins
    he carried to the cross
I may not know the love it took Him
    to take that on
However, it is the love I struggle to understand
And it is a love I desire to know daily
Don't call me a hypocrite
   when I read my Bible or stand in church
because I know my flaws and sins.
I try to hide them
I try to cover them with a mask of goodness
    but I am broken,
I am shards of glass
and while I cling to these broken pieces
I know I should give them up
yet I strive to love daily
and forgive as I am forgiven.
But I am still trying
I might fail a thousand times
I might shatter into a thousand pieces...
I know my flaws
and I see them,
and they know me by name
so I don't call me a hypocrite,
   I am still trying,
   I am hoping to change,
wanting to be different
and to be more like the Christ I call King.
But I am a thousand pieces of glass
You many call me a hypocrite
Don't you think I call myself that
I know my flaws
but I am still trying, hoping, and changing.


Thank you for reading.

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I don't want you ending this post thinking I am all sad...because I am not. Actually I love the book of Ephesians (it might help that I have actually been to Ephesus and have seen the ruins) but it has always been a book I have turned too when my soul needs a bit of revival. So many of my favorite passages are in this book, including:

For by grace you have been saved through faith. 
And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,  not a result of works, so that no one may boast.  For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, 
which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.- Ephesians 2:8-10 (ESV) 
In Ephesus... (Above) Paul spoke in the amphitheater behind me
(Below) Just relaxing a bit in the sun

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Book Blurb... Goodbye Piccadilly

Hello lovely readers,

Last week I finished the book Goodbye Piccadilly by Cynthia Harrod-Eagles. I have read a few books of Cynthia Harrod-Eagles in her "Morland Dynasty" series which range from the Renaissance to the 1920s time period, so you can find a time period you can enjoy. You will probably not be surprised but I like the books set in the Edwardian Period to the 1920s... so I was intrigued when I saw she is writing a series just about World War I.

The story is mostly set around the Hunter family... who are middle class with the husband working as a banker and the wife stays at home to mind the household and servants. The story starts off a little slow and what is happening in mainland Europe is just in the back ground. My main criticism of the story is that their are a lot of characters. While there are the Hunters and their 5 maybe 6 kids, there is also their servants, Mr. Hunter's sister and her own plot line. I am hoping as this is a series that we will get to see all these characters plots unfold and it won't be fruitless to keep track of their stories.

The two characters I was most interested in were the Hunter daughters Diana and Sadie. Diana is casted as the beauty of the village who has lots of suitors but her focus is on Charles Wroughton, who is the oldest son of the Earl. While Charles is in good position in society he is not the most social person mostly because of nerves and fear of not knowing what to say. So when he catches Diana's eyes he is actually intrigues that this beautiful girl is attracted to him. Of course his family thinks she is just a fortune hunter... and while that might be a bit true she is honestly interested in him.

The next daughter Sadie, is sixteen and loves horse and actually doesn't want to be out in society for her only destiny to be marriage. She gets a position (most likely volunteer) to help ride horses in order to get them ready for soldiers and begins a crush on the veterinarian.  I hope in the other books she will be able to develop and do real war work.

I also hope in the other books they will develop David, the oldest son of the Hunters, who enlisted in the army a few days after the war.

Outside of the Hunter family is the Hunter family servants. Ethel the young housemaid seems a little arrogant and full of herself... she kind of reminded me of the Ethel character in Downton Abbey, I hope she won't suffer the same fate.
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I will be honest this book was not that thick (only 392 pages) but it did take me a bit to get through it... I don't think it was honestly the books fault. I love the history this book included it provided me valuable insights into English society at the beginning of WWI. For example: Charles Wroughton is not allowed to write to Diana herself, he has to write to her mother. I mean that definitely doesn't allow for much romance. Also it gave good information on dates and other historical background like the Irish wanting Home Rule and some suffragette information. I personally love these details as they inspired my own writing so I was happy to read them but I don't think the casual reader would care for them.
As the story was about the the same period that I am currently writing about I found the story inspiring and I think I spent some of my usual commute time reading to write out scenes. Also after falling in love with Susanna Kearsley this summer I would love to find an author who wrote WWI novels in her style. Do you have any suggestions?

As I said there are other books, I think only one other is out set in 1915 called Keep the Home Fire Burning but the library doesn't have it yet... so I will keep waiting to see what happens next.

Overall: I liked the story, but I could do with less characters and I don't know if the casual reader would enjoy a lot of the historical content... however I think it proves that Cynthia Harrod-Eagles has truly done her work and keeps it based in reality.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Life starts all over again...


Hello my lovely readers,

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This feels like an odd time... We have passed Labor Day weekend and everyone is talking about Fall. I will admit I could do with some cooler weather but I am not ready for it to be Fall, I am enough of a "Negative Nelly" that I don't like Fall because that means Winter is coming and I hate Winter. Though I will admit I am looking forward to Pumpkin Spice Lattes, being cozy in sweaters, and I am hoping with cooler weather I will want to cook more in my kitchen. Right now my kitchen feels too hot to cook in but I am not embracing that just because it is after Labor Day that it is now Fall... NO! But it does feel weird now, because Summer does feel over. So this is an in between time.

Doesn't life often feel like this when we are stuck in between seasons we can see a new beginning but we are not there yet? Well maybe it is just me.

Throw back: when my niece and sister came to Boston
There is a great quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald that says "Life starts all over again when it get crisp in the fall." Even up here in New England we are still having some end of summer warmth, though it is apparent the day are getting shorter and sometimes the morning are cool enough I wrap a scarf around my neck (but I just love scarves).

Anyway, I have been feeling for the last couple of months a new beginning is upon me... And things are really happening. Sadly, I cannot put all the changes happening on social media, trust me if I could tell you all I would... but until things are settled I cannot. I am not a fan of change, it usually stresses me out because in change there is something in the unknown. However, as I feel this newness coming on me I have been actively praying to God for him to prepare my heart for what is to come. That is one amazing thing about God, He knows every detail of our lives. He knows our past, present, and future and He truly is control. Many times I think I can handle my own life and I try to be in control and
slowly I start feeling I am beginning to drown.

I am sick of that cycle, so as I felt this "new beginning" feeling I am trying to cling to God.

I pray frequently that my life is in His hands. For we are not promised tomorrow, next month or next year, and I pray that God leads me on while I am on this journey of figuring things out. I know God's future for me is secure and I know He only wants the best for me. This is what I hold onto.

Question: Are you facing a time of newness in your life? Are you clinging on to God?

I will keep you posted on all this.