My world...#Littlelove

 Hey lovely readers,

It has been awhile since I posted a #littleloves post. I feel I need some lightheartedness in my life right now. Hope you enjoy...

Reading

At the end of June my friends had a Yankee Swap style book exchange. What that means is we wrapped up a copy of one of our favorite books and write the genre on the front. Without knowing really anything about the book we picked which book we wanted with Yankee Swap rules of being able to steal. Previously, my friend recommended this book as a part of my 26 Book Challenge.

It is about an author Carrie McClelland, who is an author as she is writing her next novel. Her novel is set in 1708, an invading Jacobite fleet of French and Scottish soldiers nearly succeed in landing the exile James Stewart in Scotland to reclaim his crown. But when Carrie discovers her novel is more fact than fiction, Carrie wonders if she might be dealing with memory, making her the only living person who knows the truth (for more).

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I don't know much about this era in history so it has been fun to read and I will admit that I have looked into more on Wikipedia. Besides the history I have enjoyed about Carrie, and as she is an author it has been great to hear how she goes through the writing process.

Working on

This blog as been really good for me. For most of my writing life I have been very secret about my writing life. I have always seen my writing as very personal because it was my truest way I could escape from whatever I was going through and live a completely different life and I didn't want people to know about me. Then one day someone joked and said "if you don't let someone read your writing how you ever going to be published." I guess they had a point but it took me a few years more till I got this blog. I think this blog and other forces have inspired to share more about my writing. I do share parts of my story here but I am also trying to mention it in my daily conversation. This has been a big struggle because I how personal I view my writing. And yeah it has been easier to share my writing here on this blog...where I am not sure who is reading it then to actually talk about in real life (that might sound backwards).

Exploring

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As I have written about I am not much of a photographer, but I would like to be better at capturing moments so I have set up an Instagram account. Right now I am just trying to understand it. And yes I have already posted a pic of my cat...

Watching

Thanks to Netflix I have been going back and re-watching The Office when it was first on, I was kind of a fair weathered fan, meaning I didn't watch it that much after Jim and Pam got married. I tried watching most of the last season but I don't think I was even successful at that. So I am enjoining re-watching all the cute Jim and Pam moments.

Link 

Listening

In working on my story I have been trying to get in the mindset of my characters, which is sometimes hard for me to do as my story is set during WWI and I live in a world of computers, the internet, Pinterest, YouTube and all other matters of distraction. So one thing I have done is track down albums (thanks to Spotify) to listen to music from WWI. The song "If you were the Only Girl in the World" is probably the most popular now thanks to Downton Abbey but it is amazing what other songs I have found. I have also tried to find movie sound tracks that are set in that era and sometimes I hear a song and I feel it speaks about my characters I have added those songs to my writing playlist. It has made an interesting and fun playlist. 

Here is one of my current favorites: "Distance" by Christina Perri featuring Mary and Matthew

Link

Frivolous Friday...Happy Anniversary

Hello lovely readers,

Today for my "Frivolous Friday" post I am giving a special shout out to my younger sister and her husband on their four year anniversary.

Photo Credit: Kristina Gaines

I love their story: They were friends for years and she even had quite a crush on him for a bit. I remember that she liked him more when she found out he wanted to missions in Africa, which was something she wants to do. Eventually they started dating and I felt he was instantly welcomed into as a part of our family and every time I see them together he always appears to be supporting her. I think they are an awesome couple.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!

Writing #littleloves

Hello lovely readers, 
A few weeks ago I posted a #littleloves post to update you all on what's going on in my life.

This is like that but with a twist. In my post "Questions while being stuck" I wrote I was going to take a break from blogging. Well as soon as I got back from my trip to Paris I couldn't wait to sit down and write a blog post. I have done and re-done this post a few times but it didn't feel right... so here I am trying again. 

Working on

Lately I have been feeling stuck in my story. I have introduced two new characters Leopold Brashware and Violet Harper. Leopold is suppose to be a romantic tension for Mattie but eventually he will be useful in helping Mattie discover her true feelings for Kelby. Violet Harper, is Mattie's maid in London. I want to grow her character and eventually I want them to end up like Anna and Lady Mary (Downton Abbey). 

Tobey Regbo who play's Francis on the CW Reign is my inspiration (at least in looks) for Leopold. 

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I love Anna Smith, she is full of good advice for Lady Mary.

Thinking About

I am going to make Violet Harper a bigger character and I actually want to have her help Mattie run away to elope with Kelby. So I am going to have to change a few details of the story. 

I have started with a fictitious acknowledgement page...

but maybe I am the only ones who reads those. 

If this story ever gets published perhaps I will have to work with my editors on layout. 

Re-writing

  I feel I have re-written my beginning a thousand times (okay more like five) and its only in it's first draft, but I want it make sense for the story. 

I have usually been the kind of author who gets struck by inspiration and I just go from there... needless to say this path has not lead me to finish any story.

I originally started Mattie's story years ago but then I got distracted by other work "Sisters of Pine Haven" and put Mattie out of my mind. 

But she keeps coming back to me...so I feel determined to finish it. 

My original start was in 2009 (link to that post)   

but it originally started with a free write I did that same year when I first started this blog in order to share my stories

  Link to that post

This blog has gone through a lot of transitions since then but at the heart of it is my desire to write. 

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 Planning Ahead 

Even though I am still re-writing the beginning of this story I have sketched out the epilogue of my story... is that weird? 

It doesn't feel weird it actually feels good because in knowing the end I know where I want to take this story and it has some direction to it.

Why am I stuck?

I wish I knew. 

One reason I think I am stuck is because as much as I think about my writing... I need to make time and actually write. DUH! 

Also as I said I am the kind of writer who usually gets struck by inspiration and from there I just go. However with this story I have plotted out an outline and actually know what I want to happen but yet I let my characters move in the way they want. Which is good and useful but sometimes it throws new things or people at me... for example Leopold. 

 On a personal note: I also think I am stuck because I don't really know that much about romance. I have dated but mostly mostly what I know about romance comes from movies and books. So I feel I don't know how to move Mattie forward in the romantic plot line and therefore I feel stuck. 

However, I find confidence in thinking about Jane Austen, she never married and yet she wrote some of the most romantic stories (I my biased opinion). 

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Pic above is from the movie Miss Austen's Regrets

What to do now?

With all that said and done I think the real challenge will be for me to actually push through and write this story.

Writing will only happen by doing... so I say this ahead of time sorry friends and family if I seem absent to the world, but I am trying to follow my dreams and I hope you will understand. 

Watching

 

All these #little love post have a watching section and I felt I had to share something...

Since getting back from Paris (I will not get tired of saying that) I binged watched on Netflix (maybe another reason I haven't been writing) and I came across the show When The Heart Calls it is a sappy Hallmark Channel original show based off of a Janette Oke book. 

Even though it is sappy and the lines are cheesy I can't help but squeal. It feels like the perfect video escapism. 

 Video above is a fan made video: "Jack and Elizabeth | So Close"

Song: "So Close" by Jon McLaughlin. (Originally from "Enchanted").

Link to video 

Okay that is all for now. 

Hope you guys have a good day.  

Frivolous Friday...Fashion of Reign

 

Song: Can't Help Falling in Love

Link

Hello Lovely Readers,

I know I cast myself as being a lover of historical stories and I love historical accuracy, but I have to admit I have a guilty pleasure in the CW show Reign. Saying that it is a CW show should tell you that it is not going to be historically accurate in both story and fashion. It is the story about Mary Queen of Scots and her time in the French court. If you are like me, I don't really know much about Mary Queen of Scots except she was beheaded by her cousin Queen Elizabeth I and her son became King James I of England. So I am enjoying watching this how that has now been on for two seasons and renewed for a third. Francis and Mary have had their ups and downs... but I keep shipping them and hoping they will have a happy ending (even if it is not historically accurate).

No matter what the plot line the fashion is fun to watch as well so here are some of my favorite dresses from Reign, in no particular order:

To start Mary's coronation dress-

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While the front has beautiful it is the back with all those pleats that capture my eye.

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At the start of the show Mary is suppose to be this almost naive girl about the way of politics and I notice she wore more colorful outfits with lots of prints on them (example above). I loved these mismatched prints and how well they work together. 

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This is probably my favorite dress of Mary's from season 1. It might be that Mary and Francis have such a tender moment in this dress. A lot of the first season is bringing Mary and Francis together only to separate them again... causing this shipper a lot of angst. 

These are some of my other favorite dresses of season 1. As you can tell they have lots of details and still full of color. I think these dresses do a good job showing off Mary's femininity. Even though Mary is Queen of Scotland, she is a pawn a lot of time being pushed to follow the politics of French Court.   

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Over time though Mary grows more powerful as a character (it is good character development) and her fashion represents this. While this dress might look feminine, in the scene she not only fighting for her ladies in waiting, and herself, she is fighting for her love (Francis) and the French court. Up to the point in this series it is the most powerful thing she has done. 

Even after she marries Francis (sorry SPOILER Alert... but seriously it's history) she is not safe and has to defend herself. I actually feel in season 1 she is more under attack after Francis and she get married than before. Above are some of her more "fierce" outfits. 

These are just the outfits from season 1- Even though she is Queen of France in Season 2, life does not get easier for Mary, and I keep watching every week for a glimmer of hope.

When you see this dress you think everything, colorful and cheery, you would think everything is happy. Uh but Reign is good about making you think things are good but wait five seconds and everything changes. However this pink dress might be the most historically accurate dress.

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Speaking of everything changing this picture is from after, probably most shocking moment on the show, but I love this dress because it shows her power and how she is not willing to be the victim of circumstances. I also love this photo because Catherine de' Medici (played by Megan Follows aka Anne of Green Gables) is standing beside her which is not usually the case. 

Outside of Mary's fashion there is also her "Ladies in Waiting" fashion, though they also verge on being a bit ridiculous as well. Sometimes I think the strength of the show is showing women who at the time would be completely vulnerable standing up for themselves and having great courage. Also though Mary is Queen she sticks by her friends even when they do follow the rules of the times, and are usually scandalous. So while it is not always historically accurate and sometimes the plot lines are ridiculous, I am still on the edge of my seat through each episode as keep holding onto my Frary shipping though right now it feels in vain, however the hopeful romantic in me cannot let it go.

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Okay I mean this post to only have only have the top ten dresses I like but if you are following there are fourteen...sorry but not really because the fashion of the show is intriguing (even if sometimes it is is eccentric).

Some spoilers in video:

Song: Say Something

Link

Remember your character

Great post about becoming a VAD

Hello Lovely Readers,

I call myself a naive writer because while I have been writing since I was a little girl, I feel like I am figuring things and minus this blog I am not published. I do not call myself "naive" as a negative thing, no I just say it because when I give advice on writing I don't want my readers to think I have this completely mastered because I don't and I might never have it mastered... and to be honest I am okay with that. I write because honestly sometimes it is the only keeps me sane also when I am writing I don't know what else I should be doing.

I read a lot of blogs on writing about how to create characters and how to have great plots. Sometimes in reading these blogs I get so overwhelmed by them that I don't know how to translate it into my writing. For example: I read blogs and have numerous pins that talk about how there needs to be action in every chapter. But I am stuck think how can that be?

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I am the kind of author that uses part of my personality in my characters. My character, Mattie,  is definitely my hopeful romantic self, who wants a happy ending and believes love will conquer all. My character Daphne, is my more practical self who while she wants love believes that following the straight path is the way to go.

Also personally, it is the heroines Elinor Dashwood, Fanny Price, and Molly Gibson that fill my head. Their struggles seem mostly internal. All them are very sacrificial, giving up their own pleasures for the good of  all, they also are not understood by other characters and for much of the story they are in the background. Then it seems all the sudden the man, they have been wanting the whole novel finally realizes how good they are or how beautiful they are and suddenly they are enthralled with the girl. (Wouldn't it be nice if it worked out like this in real life?) But these stories don't really have much action.

How can I take the heroines I love, and want to write about and make them acceptable in the 21st century readers? And how can I do this and still write good historical fiction?

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Right now in my writing I feel I am setting up my characters. Mattie is still "innocently naive" but I think the War will push her out of her comfort zone and that will be good. I think Mattie will become a VAD (voluntary aid detachment) because after her brother gets injured she decides that there must be more she can do for the war effort. Mattie will have to lie about her age because she is 17 when the war starts and VADs couldn't volunteer till they were 23. Which is okay, because I have read a lot of people  didn't have birth certificates. 

But I am still figuring things out...

As I have working out the plot and trying to get Mattie on the train platform where she she discovers Kelby has abandoned her, but yet she still gets on the train to have a life in America (read here) I realizes she needs motivation. Besides not marrying Lord Thomas.

I just finished Vera Brittian's Testament of Youth, it is a memoir of her life during WWI where she becomes a nurse. It has been very insightful and I have underlined a lot of passages.

My copy of Testament of Youth with post-its marking pages of passages I liked

 But after the war she kind of drifts not knowing what to do next, she wrote: "The War came and went; love came and  went; but the dream remained" (pg. 544). For Brittian the dream was to be a writer and she goes to back to that, but I don't think I have given Mattie a dream. She wants to be useful and gives herself to help those around her (esp. Lady Adelaide) and she tries to sacrifice her own heart to love another so her sister can marry the man she loves. But what are her dreams?

Here is where I get stuck.

Okay I think I leave this post with more question than answers. However, to me that is the fun of writing because while I have plotted out my story I let my characters take me on a journey sometimes to places I never thought possible.

So my naive writing advice to remember your character's dreams.

Little update

Hello,

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I am taking a break from my thesis (just a few minutes)... I can't really take a break my rough draft is due before I go to bed on Nov. 9th. Sadly besides the progress of my thesis I don't have much to update with, but I have this week off from work to get the remaining three sections of my thesis done. Then my thesis advisor has told me once I have submitted it not to think about it until she hands it back to me. As much as I am looking forward to that time I wonder if I can really do that.

Outside of my thesis I am still reading through the Harry Potter series. I am on the fourth book. The first one was hard for me only because I couldn't really visualize anything. However, this book really feels more like escapism than the books. While the first two really introduced me to the characters and the world of Hogwarts I feel Prisoner of Azkaban  and this book have really developed the characters. Also this one feels much more like literature than a kid book (no offense). But sometimes I will admit I get a bit lost in all the characters. I think I have asked my roommate a few times if Peeves is a ghost.

Also, over the weekend I got a real itch to do more creative writing. I found this great pin and I could totally see Shane saying that to Daphne.

"Do you like the person you've become"
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Then I saw this writing prompt pin...

and I thought I could do a quick free write with it. But I just stared blankly at the computer, not able to think how I would fill in the blanks and not sure what I would write. Though I wanted to write I couldn't. My mind feels like such a haze. To remedy my desire to write I did take some time typing up part of my story I had already hand written (that felt like such a release). Now I want share part of it with you....

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For this part of the story Mattie is upset at her mother and runs to the back woods where she finds Kelby.

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"Lady Mathilda, I like the sound of that." He made her giggle. "I am glad to see you smile again."

            

"Thank you Kelby."

Example of a temple
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At that moment they heard the over cast sky give a little grumble and the pale gray sky was now presenting them a summer shower. Kelby without thinking took Mattie's hand and lead them to the Temple of Diana. It wasn't really temple just a folly, much in the style of other Grecian temples that had been popular throughout the eighteenth century. It was the best place to wait out the summer storm. Even though it was the closest structure to the backwoods they were still soaked causing a shiver over her whole body. Kelby saw her shiver and pulled her close into his arms and held her there. Mattie couldn't remember any man outside of Marcus who had ever hugged her.

           "Come let's get you warm," he said once the rain stopped.

            "Oh Kelby I do not want to go home. I cannot face her, not yet."

            "Miss Mathilda, one must never be afraid to face your fears." With that he took his thumb and brushed the hair that fallen in front of her face. "But, perhaps you need some tea to strengthen you up." And he gave her a little smile.

            She could not say what she was feeling, she was only thirteen and all she felt this way before. She had trembled when he touched her cheek but it didn't scare her it felt comforting.

            Mattie was so happy when he took her back in the way through Cranston Court.

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I will admit that I was inspired by two scenes from Jane Austen films for this scene...The first one being the first proposal from Pride and Prejudice (2005). 

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And the second one being from Northanger Abbey after Mr. Tilney and Catherine have been out riding and caught in the rain and he wipes a bit of mud off Catherine's face. It is such a simple action but it makes a big spark.

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Okay back to the grind.

moving on, holding on

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I can easily do this
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I saw this pin today and I found it just found it reassuring. I don't want to go into too much detail because it is personal and as much as I don't mind sharing personal things about my life, I don't like intruding on someone else's privacy. Anyway during the month of July I was a dating a guy, and in my naive way I could almost picture him being "the one." But we ended things because we saw our lives going different ways.

Anyway, when I am alone thinking did I make a mistake walking away to soon? And just feeling super alone and sometimes I hold my phone with his number up and I just want to text him to say "hello" and that I miss him. But I don't, I never do. I have told this to my friend and my mom and they say that is strong or "emotionally sturdy". However, I don't feel strong or sturdy... I feel weak and still a little heartbroken.

I never text him 1) because I honestly don't know what I would say 2) I know I need to move on 3) I don't believe we have changed and we would be in the situation we were in when things ended... so what's the point. So I push the "hangup" button and take a deep breath. 

But going back to the top picture, I found this pin and it reminded me to be true to myself... I know I shouldn't need a pin to remind myself of that. However, sometimes a little reminder is good.  

I know this post might sound a bit pathetic and I am sorry for that. I hope that in writing this pathetic post someone who is going through the same feelings as me will know they are not going through it alone. 

To end this post on slightly positive note... here are some good quotes about love and relationships (thanks Hello Giggles) 

“Once you’re back on your feet – if you ever make it back on your feet – that’s the ultimate achievement. I remember I was in New York at the Trump Hotel and I woke up and I just knew I was over it. It was a different day. I felt different. I didn’t feel lonely. I felt like I wanted to get up and be in the world. That was a great, great feeling.”- Rihanna

Anyway this hopeful romantic keeps hoping and keeps believing in love. Typing that I feel a lot like Gennifer Goodwin in He's Just not That into You. 

Pardon the language
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Taking some time to reflect

From previous post... the last we were all together in May
Sadly we did not take a picture this time

In my last post Blogging Break  I wrote how I was feeling burnt out and how I was out of words to write... well that was and sort of true. Not to dish all my private information on a blog but I had just ended a relationship (and while it was a short one it is hard to walk away from it and when I wrote that post it was hard to even think of what to do or say but I had to walk away).

Left pic: E and I in hospital
Right pic: E at home feeling much better 

So after this I was so happy to have this vacation to look forward to... well it wasn't the vacation my sister and I had planned. My nephew had to have surgery because of a neck infection. So he spent 5 days in the hospital and I was at home taking care of my niece while both my sister and brother-in-law were spending time in the hospital. It was a hard week because the doctors kept giving conflicting messages about rather or not he would not need surgery or when he would be released. One doctor told them on Monday he wouldn't be released till Saturday while another was saying in a day or two. I was on the sidelines while I was taking care of my niece but I could tell it was a big struggle for my sister and brother-in-law. Personally I was happy to be so busy I didn't have to focus on what I had just left behind in Boston.

One on one time with niece was awesome.

Well then sadly vacation had to end and now I am back in Boston... and life hit me before I even took off on my flight home. I have a lot on my mind... my upcoming move (which I am excited about living with my friend I just hate moving), some expenses that seem to never go away, my thesis and some other things. 

As I posted on my Blogging Break post I have been reading through passages on the word trust. That has been hard topic to take in. As much as I think I trust in God, I still worry and I still get anxious over little things. I am currently re-reading The Princess by Lori Wick and there is a section about worrying. Prince Nikolai is worried about his marriage to Shelby and at the same time his pastor is giving a sermon on worrying and calling it a sin. The pastor says "When we worry we say to God 'I can't trust You. You're not doing Your job, so I'm going to step in and take over'"(p. 134). Then today in my quiet time I was reading Luke and I read Luke 12:22-34, where Jesus warns about worry (isn't it amazing when things like this all come together.) I think God is really trying to tell me to let go of my worries and truly trust in him. 

In Matthew 6:25-34 (similar passage to Luke) Jesus says "Are not much more valuable than they?" "They" are the birds of the air who do not sow or reap but yet God takes care of them. He is saying then won't God take care of you if you are more valuable to God than birds. Yes... of course! I believe that God will take care of me so why do I worry, why do I let myself get consumed with worry... I am honestly not for sure. Maybe it is human nature to worry, but I don't want my worrying to get in the way of my walk with God or let it block me from awesome things in life. So since worrying comes as a second nature to me... this might be a life long struggle but I hope to get better at it as I go. 

With these thoughts in mind and others... I want to keep writing but I don't know if I can be as consistent as I tried to be this summer. But don't worry I will come back I love writing and in writing I find peace.

Words of Wisdom: Win a date with Tad Hamilton

When the movie Win a Date with Tad Hamilton movie came out I didn't see it because I was in love with Josh Duhamel (in fact I don't think I even knew who he was back in 2004)... I was in love with Topher Grace. 

Topher Grace vs. Josh Duhamel
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I recently re-watched this movie in need of some lighthearted romantic comedy, and I realized how insightful it is mostly due to the wise bartender, Angelica, played by Kathryn Hahn. So here are some insightful quotes...

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This is referring to love.
This quote reminds me of a post I wrote back in 2011...

From my post "Timid or Playing it safe"

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Even though it has been 3 years I am still a little timid. I have admitted that recently I have felt scared to take chances. Though I want to change it is hard to let go of my scars and embrace the good thing in my life. 

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I like this quote because it reminds me that even when you don't feel special you are special to someone. Before my mom (my most avid reader) worries that I don't feel special... trust me I do. I have lately been overwhelmed with the love of my family and friends. This is just a nice reminder. *

I know we as an audience are suppose to feel bad for Pete (Topher Grace) because he is watching his "great love" falling for someone else and he in a very cute scene tells Tad Hamilton that he will step aside because he wants Rosalee to be happy. That is a true friend and a true love.

Mostly sharing this because it is just so cute
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*-Writing this post I realize all these insightful quotes are really just from one scene when Angelica is telling Pete to tell Rosalee how he feels.