Tune for Thursday...

Song: Who are we fooling 

By: Brooke Fraser featuring Aqualung

I have had this song in my head all day. It is kind of a sad song, I feel like it is a couple staring at each other and just wondering why they are staying together. Even with the sad message the music is beautiful. Brooke Frasier has been featured a few times on this blog and if my life was a musical I would totally break out into one of her ballads. Hope you enjoy...

So we're back here again
Tiptoeing round the edge of the end
Wondering who will be last to admit
That we're finally over

Turned twenty one on a day that we met
Terrible shoes, implausible dress
It's funny how sad the funny things get as you grow older

Better or worse
But what else can we do?
For better or worse
I am tethered to you
If it's not either of us
Tell me who are we fooling?

I learnt the art of biting my tongue
I tired of trying to guess what was wrong
Both agreed on where we should go
But not how to get there

We tried and tried to loosen the knots
Thinking once we're untangled we'll be better off
But it's these failures and faults that hold us together

Better or worse
But what else can we do?
And better or worse
I am tethered to you
If it's not either of us
Tell me who are we fooling?

This beautiful tangle that's bruising us blue
It's a beautiful knot that we just can't undo
Together we're one but apart tell me
Who are we fooling?

Cause real love
Is hard love
It's all we have
It's a break-neck
Train wreck
It's all we have

So we're back here again
Turning away from the edge of the end
Arm in arm

Better or worse
But what else can we do?
And better or worse
I am tethered to you
If it's not either of us
Tell me who are we fooling?

This beautiful tangle that's bruising us blue
It's a beautiful knot we just can't undo
If it's not either of us, tell me who are we fooling?

Together we're one, but apart tell me
Who are we fooling?

{lyrics}

Happy Father's Day!

Last year I did a mother's day post so this year I am doing a father's day post...

Song: The Words I would Say

By: Sidewalk Prophets

Link

I heard this song through some random search on Spotify a couple of months ago and loved it. At that time I was going through some hard emotional things and spent a night crying on the phone with my dad. God has truly blessed me in my relationship with my Dad and my Step-Dad, though they are far away... they love and support me. So this post is for them and all the dads in my life. I have other great examples in my friends, brother-in-law, and grandparents on strong and loving men. Thank you for being men to look up to.

my dad and I

my Granddad and I

My dad was always good at hanging us upside down... and we loved it. 

my granddad, my sister and I

my grandpa, my sister, and I 

 

my grandpa and I 

my grandpa visiting when we were living in California 

my step-dad and I on our cruise

my dad and I, just having fun

my dad and I dancing at my sister's wedding

my step-dad and I at my college graduation 

my brother-in-law as dad and my dad as Pops 

(yeah I cut my sister and I out of this pic)

Step-dad and I last Christmas decorating cookies

On vacation in May 

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!

I tried to put these pictures in chronological order oddly going through my computer/facebook I couldn't find any pictures from my middle school/high school years...maybe it is good not to have my awkward teen years documented. 

New Song discovered

Song: Billie Jean

Cover by: The Civil Wars

I love the Civil War and I also have a closet love for Michael Jackson songs from the '80s so to have a combination of the two it is great. 

Tune for Tuesday

I have had this song stuck in my head for a couple of days.

Song: Home

By: Phillips Phillips

Inspiring Music

Besides reading some fun books over the summer I do hope to get some writing in. I have always found music very inspirational so I just wanted to share some songs that I have fallen in love with. 

 Here are just a few...

May Waltz

by: Brooke Fraser

Swan Song 

by: Shubert

Breathe

By:  The Brilliance

Beethoven's 5th Secrets

By: The Piano Guys

The Call

By: Regina Spektor 

from the movie Prince Caspin

Divenire 

By: Ludovico Einaudi

Flags

By: Brooke Fraiser

You never know never know where inspiration is going to strike so keep looking. 

No fight left

No Fight Left

By: JJ Heller.

Dear Anne,

I am sorry it has been so long since I have written. I could easily blame Grad-School but considering I have had no motivation to do anything in school, I cannot really say that. The last couple of weeks I have felt my life going down hill. I even wrote you about how I was focusing on the good things in my life, I thought that letter would keep me up-beat. I am sad to say that it has not. I have even reached out to my "support team" (close family/friends) for them to pray for me and the response I have gotten has been so heart warming, I have felt truly loved but some how my heart an mind keep dwelling on the bad and I just see my life as a downward spiral (as much as I smile and pretend to be all right). I even questioned if I belonged to him since I kept having these times in my life where I was low and discouraged.


Well over the past couple of weeks my church has been going through the book of Jonah. He is mostly known for Jonah and the Whale but that is so little part of the story. When Jonah goes to Nineveh (the bad guys) and after little convincing they repent and our saved from destruction. The story goes further but I am going to stop right there. Both Jonah and the people of Nineveh had turned away from God and both were saved by God's never ending grace. At the end of the sermon my pastor said "there is nothing you can do to out run God's grace". As awesome as that statement is I will admit I didn't go right home and immediately go to God (as I should have done) but later Sunday night as I was brushing my teeth I read the verse taped near my mirror.

"Find rest O my soul in God; my hope alone comes from Him" (Psalm 62:5)

{pic}

And I thought, "how little do I consider God my hope." I have this verse written in multiple places and I never really consider God my Hope. I know God has saved me and I know God wants the best for me but how little do I actually think about God's hope and grace. Then as I was sitting and \
praying, I realized I keep underestimating God's grace. God's majestic saving and healing powers. 

I wrote that first part and then during my weekly phone date with my dad, I just couldn't hold back the tears anymore. He was just talking about how I was doing so well, I was climbing Mount Everest (in Grad-School) and I am at the last 10% and this is the hard part. I told him I didn't feel I was climbing Mount Everest I felt I was going a downward spiral to no where. I hate standing some days and I just want to hide and cry. 

I realize I am much like Jonah in the whale. I am going through a hard time and as easy as it would be for me to just retreat and sulking in my distress. I need to turn to God and  find my hope in him. Right now this is easier said than done.

Today I read Psalm 86 and it was exactly what I need to read. So while I am still in this low place, I need to remember God is with me. I just wish I felt Him more. 

I liked verse 5-7
{pic}

Sorry this letter is a bit scattered... it reflects my state of being right now. 

Thanks for reading.

Yours,

Blaire
P.S. Is it bad that I just want to spend the day eating chocolate and staying in my PJ's?

God's little reminder

{pic}

Last May I wrote a post called "Things I am afraid to tell you" in the post I shared this poem...

I hear a voice

I know it well

   it tells me over and over

I am unworthy

I am unable to be loved

and when I look in the mirror

   it tells me 

I am ugly.

This voice is closer to me

   than a friend

and been around me 

   since I was a little girl. 

I hide my face 

   admit defeat

and walk with shame.

I hope no one else 

  can see these failings

I hope today my mask

  of goodness stays in place. 

When I am strong

   I pick myself up

and tell the voice "no"

  I am worthy

  I am loved

  and I will prove it. 

So I do my best

   on my own 

   to fight against it

   but I fail.

I hear the voice

I know it well.

It mocks me for trying

it points out my scars

   and my pain

it points out the wrongs 

   I commit 

   and how I will always keep failing.

Because of these

it tells me over and over 

I am unworthy 

I am unable to be loved 

and when I look in the mirror

    it tells me

I am ugly.

So I continue with my mask 

    of goodness 

always adjusting it 

so people see 

what they want to see. 

They see a smile

   and that's what I want

because who loves a girl 

   who curls up in bed and cries

who loves a girl that is 

   falling apart

   lonely,

   and scared. 

They see a smile

   and that's what I want. 

But I hear a voice 

    and I know it well

a voice that is quick to cut

a voice that is louder than all others 

and a voice I would die to silence.

I hear it

bury my head in shame

admit defeat

and curl up in a dark spot.

There I sit

but there I hear a whisper 

it is very soft

"my child", "my love"

"my beauty", "my creation."

"You must have me wrong"

I tell the whisper.

But it repeats

"my child", "my love"

"my beauty", "my creation."

I open my eyes

see nothing there

so I doubt its existence.

"My child","my love"

"I am here for you

in darkness to be your light,

to be your hope

when you feel hopeless,

and to be your strength 

when you can't pick yourself up.

Remain in me 

and I will remain in you."

When I cling to that whisper 

the voice softens 

when I concentrate on that whisper

the shame of my failings 

    go away

and when I take in that whisper 

I feel blessed and loved.

But the voice is always there

always quick to cut

and some times louder 

   than a battle cry.

But so is the whisper

it remains too.

I have to listen harder

  to hear it 

  but it is there

it calls to me over and over again.

"My child", "my love"

"my beauty", "my creation"

"I am here for you

I am here with you

   and I love you." 

Well today as I was listening to one of my playlist and I heard this song... All the Beauty (Kati's Story) by JJ Heller. 

The song reminded me of my poem and how much I still need to remember the words of God...

You call me lovely

You call me friend

You call me out of death and let me try again

You call me beloved

You call me clean

Then you show me all the beauty that you see in me

 

{lyrics}

I love the way God reminds us of His love for us. 

Tune for Tuesday

Song: Orange Sky

By: Alexi Murdoch

I know this song is old but it is my new favorite song. I love the words of the chorus that say "in your love my salvation lies" there is just something completely beautiful about that sentiment and is very true for my walk with God. Just thought I would share a little blurb today.