The poem below is from my friend Sarah, who is an aspiring writer, she has been generous to share her poem with me so I can share it with you guys.
"A Heart Song"
When someday never comes When I've lost the things I won Will I turn to God and say, "How could You let it be this way?”
Sometimes moving on takes time Sometimes letting go ain't kind When I think I've made it on my own Is when I'm hurtled back before His throne
Take me, broken, as I am Fill me, heal me with your hand Nothing befalls me that You don't allow Help me to trust You even now.
Even now.
My heart is crippled and ripped open as hope is lost How long will I linger and how much will it cost? How long before I truly know it's God who loves me best? How many missed moments til I see it’s me he's blessed?
In a totally lame way, well lame to others, perfect for me, on Friday night I got Chinese Food and watched Sense and Sensibility, the TV mini-series by BBC in 2008. I was practically raised on the 1995 Sense and Sensibility with Emma Thompson, Kate Winslet and Alan Rickman and I love it but when I heard Dan Stevens, aka Matthew Crawley from Downton Abbey, was in Sense and Sensibility I had to watch this film. Fortunately for me my school library had a copy and I just awaited a good time to watch it. This weekend I knew I was going to be anti social, even though it is St. Patty's day. I have had a long week getting back in the swing of things and I have worked long hours, so Thursday I checked out the movie and got excited for Jane Austen night.
It is sometimes hard watching a new adapation of something you love so much. So this post will mostly be a comparing and contrasting of my old love and my new love of Sense and Sensibility. There are some major differences just to start off. In the beginning it starts off quickly showing the affair between Willoughby and Colonel Brandon's ward. It was a little surprising how quickly we learn of Willoghby's bad behavior when Jane Austen lets it unfold late in the plot line. But it does explain Colonel Brandon and Willoughby's disregard for each other, when we first see them interact, it is much more blunt then in 1995 version, and I could sense the hatred that loomed over them.
This minni-series was three hours long, unlike that the 1995 version that was 2 hours long, so it had more time to develop the plot, which was nice because not only did it show more of the longing of Colonel Brandon for Marianne, when they first met and how he tries to court her, it also shows their relationship develop after she recovered. I liked having this because it seems their relationship is kind of rushed in the 1995 version.
Two things that happen in the book that don't happen in the 1995 version but do in the mini-series are Edward Ferras comes to Barton Cottage for one day. At first he seems happy but as soon as Mrs. Dashwood notices the ring with a lock of hair in it, he gets out of sorts. He says he has just come from Plymouth, where Lucy Steel lives (of course in the story we don't know that yet) and I think he is either trying to determine rather he still loves Elinor, which he does, or he is going to tell her about Lucy.
Edward at Barton Cottage, chopping wood to work out his anger
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The other thing that happens in the book is that Willoughby comes to see Marianne when she is sick, and tells Elinor, he really did care for Marianne. I have a friend who hates that this was left out of the 1995 version, I never liked this part of the story so I am glad it wasn't included. It is included in the minni-series but I still don't care for it because Willoughby throws himself a pity party, being stuck in a loveless marriage, but I don't feel sorry for him and I just want him to go away. Also Mr. Willoughby is not very handsome in this version and he doesn't seem to charm any one but Marianne. But I do think you can see his deceitfulness right away.
Some things I did like about this version was that the characters look more age appropriate. Marianne is suppose to be sixteen going on seventeen, and no offense to Kate Winslet it is hard buying her as a sixteen year old girl. Also I think it was interesting that in this version Marianne wears her hair either down or in a looser style, I think it shows off her more "wild" or "passionate" side.
But my favorite thing about this version was Dan Stevens playing Edward Ferrars. As much as I like the awkward and blinking Edward played by Hugh Grant; I absolutely adore Dan Stevens. I love him as Matthew Crawley in Downton Abbey and he made a wonderful Edward Ferrars. While he wasn't as awkward as Hugh Grant he did a good job of capturing my heart.
Some things I did not like is that there was no Alan Rickman as Colonel Brandon and I love Alan Rickman. If they had a movie with Dan Stevens and Alan Rickman, I would be very happy.
For this semester I have an internship near Harvard Square, in Cambridge and I live on the western side of Boston (circled on map below) and if I drove I could probably be there in 20 minutes but since I don't drive and I am dependent on Boston's sometime erratic schedule I predict an hour of travel time.
With this I have been keeping a little list of commuting secrets. I am not a driver so these secrets are based for more train commuting people.
1. Carry a snack- always carry a little snack like a granola as long as it is easy to hold with one hand, because more than likely you will be holding on to a bar or something else with the other hand. Also it is nice that if you can throw your bag and you don't mind if it gets beaten up a bit.
2. Bring entertainment- A book for me is ideal but sometimes hard to maneuver. Either the train is too packed or I have overloaded myself with bags. So bring back up. I think a smart phone or tablet is great for this you can have your music, games, and Facebook. I also like to use my phone "memo section" to write blog post. Most of this post was written on my phone as I was actually on the T, then when I have service I can send it to my email and transfer it easily to a post. But as a student sometimes I feel like my T time is the best time to get some homework done.
3. Coffee mug should have handle. I don't know how many times I have held my mug by just my pinky. (This isn't really that insightful just a good trick of the trade)
4. Wear comfortable shoes. I am always impressed by the girls who wear nice high heals on the T and are able to maintain their balance. But I believe in comfort. I mean most of us have seen Working Girl where Melanie Griffith changes from her sneakers to heels...until I was working full time I didn't understand it but now I do. I know now that this fashion trend is such a faux pas but the idea is still the same... be comfortable because you never know how long you will be standing.
5. Bring big bag. I am personally trying to decide if it is better to have one big bag or lots of little bags. I like my purse it holds a lot which is good because I discover sometimes I have to pack for everything I am doing that day as I don't have time to go back home. I can slip a notebook and maybe a book in it... and I still get compliments on it being super cute.
6. Silver linings- some times you have to find a silver lining in your commute. Yeah being on a train for an hour or might suck but if you find something to enjoy it makes it a little better. Silver linings for me are when I get to the station just as the T is getting there so I don't have to wait, or getting a seat, but the biggest one for me is walking through Harvard yard, it is so pretty and when the church bells go off things seem to be at peace even in the hecticness of the commute.
Well those are my commuting secrets if you have any other suggestions please let me know.
On Wednesday night my bible study and I discussed the verses Luke 12:13-21 it is called the "Parable of the Rich Fool" and in the story the "rich man" has so many crops can't store them all so he decides to tear down his barnes and build new ones. God then calls him out and says "you fool tonight your life will be demanded from you, then who will inherit this." While it is good to work hard, this man seems to only thinks about himself and how he is going to benefit from his work. Growing up in the church I have heard this story a lot. One time I heard a pastor say that if this man had been connected with his community he would have given his extra crop to the poor and would not have stored it up. And while these moral stories are good sometimes they are hard to sink in and after hearing the story a lot it is even harder for the story to make an impact. But then my friend said something to the group... he said "in our own way we all build barnes, we all think, oh if I could just get married, or if I could just have a kid, or if I could just __(fill in the blank)_then it will be just righ" but will it be just right? And how long do we have to we keep striving for "just right"; one day God will call us home and then we won't have time to do all the the things we should have done or we won't have time to do what is most important to us and the world. Sorry not trying to be a Debby Downer.
I just know I fall into the trap of thinking "when I get married or when I have kids my life is going to be all set." I remember with my only serious boyfriend that once we got married everything would be fine, I saw marriage as a finish line, not a start line. Any one who is married knows that. So I will admit foolishly I have been building up my barnes waiting for the day when I become a wife and mother. I enjoy being single, doing whatever I want (within reason) being on my own time schedule and not to sound bad but being a little selfish. But their are times I spend a lot of time and energy waiting for "my dream" to come true. And sadly I think I sometimes miss out on the great time I am in.
I can't do everything I want to do right now because I am kind of stuck in grad school for the next two years. So maybe right now all I can do is build some potential barnes as I wait for the "real world" but I shouldn't pass up on opprotunities that I can take advantage of. For example this summer I am hoping to go down to Honduras and dig wells with living water. But after grad school I would actually love to take some time work on staff with Living Water, so I can go to Africa or India with them. But after my trip to Denver, I kind of want to move there so I can be closer to my sister and her growing family. (I am of course still praying about these things).
Basically, we only get one life and we can't waste time waitng for things to be just right.
