Taking some time to reflect

From previous post... the last we were all together in May
Sadly we did not take a picture this time

In my last post Blogging Break  I wrote how I was feeling burnt out and how I was out of words to write... well that was and sort of true. Not to dish all my private information on a blog but I had just ended a relationship (and while it was a short one it is hard to walk away from it and when I wrote that post it was hard to even think of what to do or say but I had to walk away).

Left pic: E and I in hospital
Right pic: E at home feeling much better 

So after this I was so happy to have this vacation to look forward to... well it wasn't the vacation my sister and I had planned. My nephew had to have surgery because of a neck infection. So he spent 5 days in the hospital and I was at home taking care of my niece while both my sister and brother-in-law were spending time in the hospital. It was a hard week because the doctors kept giving conflicting messages about rather or not he would not need surgery or when he would be released. One doctor told them on Monday he wouldn't be released till Saturday while another was saying in a day or two. I was on the sidelines while I was taking care of my niece but I could tell it was a big struggle for my sister and brother-in-law. Personally I was happy to be so busy I didn't have to focus on what I had just left behind in Boston.

One on one time with niece was awesome.

Well then sadly vacation had to end and now I am back in Boston... and life hit me before I even took off on my flight home. I have a lot on my mind... my upcoming move (which I am excited about living with my friend I just hate moving), some expenses that seem to never go away, my thesis and some other things. 

As I posted on my Blogging Break post I have been reading through passages on the word trust. That has been hard topic to take in. As much as I think I trust in God, I still worry and I still get anxious over little things. I am currently re-reading The Princess by Lori Wick and there is a section about worrying. Prince Nikolai is worried about his marriage to Shelby and at the same time his pastor is giving a sermon on worrying and calling it a sin. The pastor says "When we worry we say to God 'I can't trust You. You're not doing Your job, so I'm going to step in and take over'"(p. 134). Then today in my quiet time I was reading Luke and I read Luke 12:22-34, where Jesus warns about worry (isn't it amazing when things like this all come together.) I think God is really trying to tell me to let go of my worries and truly trust in him. 

In Matthew 6:25-34 (similar passage to Luke) Jesus says "Are not much more valuable than they?" "They" are the birds of the air who do not sow or reap but yet God takes care of them. He is saying then won't God take care of you if you are more valuable to God than birds. Yes... of course! I believe that God will take care of me so why do I worry, why do I let myself get consumed with worry... I am honestly not for sure. Maybe it is human nature to worry, but I don't want my worrying to get in the way of my walk with God or let it block me from awesome things in life. So since worrying comes as a second nature to me... this might be a life long struggle but I hope to get better at it as I go. 

With these thoughts in mind and others... I want to keep writing but I don't know if I can be as consistent as I tried to be this summer. But don't worry I will come back I love writing and in writing I find peace.

Book blurb... Fangirl

To continue my summer I just finished the book Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell. I picked it up because lately I have caught myself having some fangirl moments and I thought maybe this book would help me understand the obsession some of get into.  Okay I am a fangirl but I don't write fanfiction but the main character Cath does. She writes fanfiction about the Simon Snow books (which seems kind of like Harry Potter to me) and while this seems crazy to her college roommate her writing is actually her escape from the world (which I understand). 

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The book takes place in Cath's freshman year of college. She and her twin Wren go to the same college but Wren seems to have no interest in being with her sister anymore and this leaves Cath feeling a bit abandoned and instead of embracing college and all its new experiences she kind of holds up in her room. This pushes her into the presence of Levi (who is always hanging out in their room). Cath tries to ignore her growing crush on him as she thinks he is her roommate's boyfriend... but her crush grows and so does their friendship. On the other side her world is feeling like it is more and more falling apart with no Wren and her dad is struggling back home... That is all I will say about the plot because I don't want to give Spoilers. 

I don't know why, but this summer I felt I have read more YA books than any other, and I have loved them. I think this is my first YA book that is set in present time (not like Hunger Games or Divergent) and it felt natural and true in her thoughts and the conversation. This book is full of college crushes, angst about finding who you are, and first loves. There were so many passages of the book I felt like I knew exactly what she was going through. And on multiple occasions I would be reading and pull the book close to my chest as to give her hug (I am sure it looked weird on the T). I also like the fact though Cath and her roommate, Reagan, didn't get along at first eventually they got into their own rhythm and they grew to like each other and there was a few moments that Reagan even stood up for Cath. 

What I didn't like was occasionally an F-bomb would be dropped... it only threw me off once then it just felt normal for the tone of the book (so if you are sensitive to that I wouldn't recommend it).  

Illustrations of the main characters
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Remember to Live

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Last summer I felt like it was the summer of movies because I feel I posted a lot of movie reviews, this summer feels like the summer of books as I feel I am making a lot of time to read. People here in Boston usually have one thing in common, we complain about the T. I used to try to get school reading done on the T but I didn't find it very effective, so I thought if I am going to have to ride the T or the bus to get around I am going to allow myself a treat of fun reading... so I enjoy my commute as I get to escape into my books. I feel like I have been reading a quite a bit and I don't always make time to post about them so if want to see what books I have read check out my page Summer Reading.

I finished The Girl Who Came Home: A Novel of the Titanic. Yes I know it is a pretty typical Blaire book, as most of it is set in 1912 and I am a bit obsessed with that time period. I saw this book in Target in May but as much as it intrigued me I didn't buy it, being more budget conscience. I was intrigued by this book not just because it was a story about the Titanic it is also a multi-generational story and I am always intrigued to see how writers blend two or more generations into one story. This story is about Maggie Murphy, who leaves her home and her beloved Seamus in Ireland to sale to a new life on Titanic. It is also about Grace, Maggie's great-granddaughter, who after her father dies suddenly leaves college and her life to care for her mom. Maggie has never talked about the Titanic until April 15th, 1982 (Grace's birthday). Through the story they both realize life cannot stop.

At seventeen years old Maggie Murphy as lost both her father and mother, when her Aunt Kathleen comes back to Ireland to come and take Maggie to Chicago with her. Maggie wants her sweetheart Seamus to come with her but his father is too sick and he needs to take care of him. Along with Maggie and Kathleen there are others from their village that go on this journey to make a new life in America. Here is one of the weaknesses of the novel, with multiple plot lines and characters to keep track of. The characters Harry, a steward on the Titanic, and her friend Peggy make sense for the story and the plot to move along. However, there is also the story of Frances Kenney, whose sister Katie is a friend of Maggie's and is on the Titanic, I couldn't figure out why her story was being weaved through the book as she had no interaction with either Maggie or Grace. There was also a secondary character Vivienne Walker-Brown, a famous actress, who is a good secondary character but I was thrown off when a letter of hers was in the middle of the book... it seemed to serve no purpose. I love stories being told from different perspective but I think they should serve a purpose and Frances' and Vivienne's story served no purpose.

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One thing I loved about Maggie's plot is that it served as new perspective on the Titanic. I have seen the movie Titanic (with Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet) and that gives a good perspective of the first class lifestyle aboard the ship, but this novel gives the perspective of the third class passengers. So I thought that was a cool approach to the story.

Then there is Grace, the great-granddaughter of Maggie, she was in the middle of her freshman year of college and had found the love of her life, Jimmy, when her father dies because of a car crash. She then leaves school, her dreams of being in journalism, and Jimmy to take care of her mother. And in that her life just kind of stops. It is not until Maggie starts telling her the story of the Titanic that she discovers life goes on past tragedy. I won't go into details about what she does with this new discovery as it would be a spoiler.

There is a great quote in it and had it been my own copy and not the libraries I would have underlined it.  "Life is fragile, Grace--it is no more than a petal of a cherry blossom" (pg. 258). Both these characters face horrible tragedies and through book they learn they can't let tragedies define them but use them to shape a life worth living. Sometimes I spend so much time in my head and stuck in my own thoughts that I think I forget to let myself live. Even though this book for the most part is light hearted this is a good lesson to learn.

Last picture of Titanic afloat
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A new page

Hello my lovely readers,

I have a new page on my blog... for my summer reading. I am trying to knock off some books in my never ending book list. For the most part I get these from the library but others have been sitting on my bookshelf. I have enjoyed getting lost in some books this last month or so and I wanted to share them with you.

I will try to keep my "currently reading" up to date as best as possible, but sometimes I fall a little behind. Sorry. But this page will let you know what I have read and a little bit of a review.

If you have any suggestions let me know.

Hope you enjoy.

Reading outside the box

Click on link for a review
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I follow a lot of "writing boards" on Pinterest with lots of writing quotes, writing prompts and helpful hints. One thing I see over and over again is to read widely, which to me seems to say read from a mix of different genres. I am guilty of frequently only reading historical fiction and right now I have been addicted to WWI novels as I am trying to gain both inspiration and insight for my own story. However the last two books I have read and the book I am currently reading have nothing to do with WWI. I had Stella Bain in my bag and my co-worker was intrigued by the cover and asked me what it was about I said "a nurse in WWI" and he joked "Always WWI." Well as you can read from my post that I was not a big fan of the book. Then I read Divergent and then I read Lunch in Paris, though these books are nothing a like they are both about choices and how they define you.

Sorry I don't know the author of this quote
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Lunch in Paris is a memoir of Elizabeth Bard who moves to Paris to be with the man she loves and while she has always idealized Paris she now has to fight against her "Americanized" ways to embrace the French culture, but sometimes she has to pick her battles. I felt she constantly had to keep choosing Paris and choosing that life style. In my last post I wrote about making choices and I am thankful that we don't have just one choice in life but sometimes in life when we make a choice we have to keep choosing that choice. I have chose to live in Boston (which is completely different then my background of living in Oklahoma and California) and even though I hate the long winters I have continued to live here. I have made a life here with my friends and my second family.  In continuing to live here I have grown appreciate and love things about this city for example when it above 40 degrees in January or February I consider it a nice day and if it is sunny I go on walks to let myself enjoy the day.

In my last post I was facing some adulthood angst about making decisions and trying to figure out my life and maybe that will happen throughout my life. However I feel as an adult sometimes you have to make decisions and you have to keep choosing them and not giving up on the choices you make even when they cause struggles because struggles give us stories.

Click on link for review of book
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Sorry I did not mean for this post to become all deep, I guess that is what happen when I let my thoughts flow. I wanted to write that those stories may not be my typical books I read, I am happy I am reading them because they have given me more insight and have raised some thought provoking questions to ponder in my own head.

I am currently reading Dear Mr. Knightley, I first picked up this book because I thought there would be a Jane Austen connection with the title being such. It is not another retelling of Jane Austen book. It is about a girl Sam Moore, who has had a troubling past of floating between foster homes never really making connections as she hide behinds her books. However, she has been given a generous grant to go to Northwestern University's journalism school with the condition she must write letters to the benefactor, Mr. Knightley. I am only 80 pages in so I don't know all the details of the story but so far I am enjoying learning how Sam is overcoming her struggles. While the title of the book intrigued me it was reading an acclaim for the book that got me to read this novel... "Katherine Reay invites readers into each moment of a young woman's discovery that real heroes are fallible, falling in love isn't always better in books, and literature is meant to enhance life--not serve as a substitute for living" (Serena Chase, USA Today's Happy Ever After Blog). I sometimes think I am like Sam hiding out in the world of my books and my own stories but for life to truly happen I have to break out of that.

Though these books have nothing to do with WWI, they are inspiring me to think outside the box and really wonder about things in my own life... and not just getting lost in an epic historical novel.

2 books in 2 weeks

... okay maybe in 2 1/2 weeks.

Now that Grad school is over for the summer and thanks to some vacation time (with long flights) I was able to get in some fun reading. I read two very different books... one I thought I would love as it is about WWI and one I wasn't so sure about but ended up loving.

Click on link below for another review
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The first one was Stella Bain by Anita Shreve about a WWI nurse, and at the start of the novel has lost her memory and we follow her as she tries to paste her memories and her life together. While it starts in WWI, it seems to be more background to the story and sadly did not satisfy my WWI taste. I wish I could write more about the plot but I feel I would give some spoilers away. I will say even though it is written in third person, which usually as a feel of the author knowing all that will happen it had a feel that the author was discovering things as we were. This made for some choppy sentences and it took a few pages to get used to but once I did it made me feel like I was going on the journey with Stella Bain. The worst thing was I never really felt I related to Stella and while she goes through so many struggles I also didn't really have empathy for her. I saw this book last Christmas in an airport book store, and I almost bought it on whim but after reading it I am glad I waited to check it out from the library and save some money.

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The next book was Divergent by Veronica Roth I am not ashamed to admit that I am jumping on the fan wagon of this book post movie, but I am not reading it because of the movie, which I have not seen but want to now. I am reading it because my friend recommended it to me. I don't usually read futuristic books (minus the Hunger Games) because for the most part I'd rather live in the past, however I loved it book. It is another post-apocalyptic world, though unlike the Hunger Games, the society is trying to create a perfect utopian society, though that seems to be a veil hiding true struggles. The society is broken up into different fractions in order to preserve order of society, even though as children they go to school together, they hardly interact with each other. Beatrice "Tris" is raised in the Abnegation fraction, which focuses on selflessness and humbleness, but she has never felt to truly belong. The book starts on the day she and her brother, Caleb. take a test to see what fraction they should spend the rest of their lives in. When Beatrice takes the test she is said to be Divergent, which means she has broken the system which makes her a danger to the structure of society so she must keep it a secret. Now she must choose if she wants to stay in the Abnegation fraction or choose her own path. (I don't want to give it away what she chooses because I feel like its a spoiler but because movie trailer ad basically gives it away, I will say she chooses Dauntless). Dauntless are the fighters and the warriors of the society. Though this fraction so different than anything Tris has known she learns to fit in, and make friends, but she is always worried her secret will be found out...

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I am so glad I saw this book on sale and my mom bought it for me. These post-apocalyptic books are not my norm so I can only compare it to the Hunger Games. I was talking to my friend, who recommended it to me, and she and I agreed we could relate to Tris more than Katniss (I guess we are still teenagers going through angst). I also liked that Four (the crush) because he was a fighter. I mean Peeta is great for his pure heart but he wasn't much of a fighter... which is why I liked Four he could be strong without taking Tris' strength away (as a character) and though he was strong he had fears to overcome. One thing I didn't like was how fast the action went sometimes I had to go back and re-read passages to make sure I understood what was happening.

Divergent Trailer

Now I don't like waiting for book two... I know it is published (but I am on a long waiting list at the library) and I could buy it but I feel hesitant buying books because in a few months I will be moving to a new apartment and I don't want to pack up more books.  

Finding peace in escapism

Hello lovely readers,

I know in my last post I write about wanting to escape... well I haven't run away (so no worries). Also after my last post my cousin told me "Find something that brings peace to your soul and wallow on through."I think I have...

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Lady Adelaide from
"Lark Rise to Candleford"

In all this I have found myself wanting to escape into my story (still untitled). In the summer and over last semester any free time I had was spent working on this story. I have made many changes to it over time for one I was originally writing it in first person perspective, and I have changed some of my characters name. One character was originally named "Lady Elizabeth" but over the summer I fell for the series Lark Rise to Candleford and there is a character Lady Adelaide and I found her very inspiring. Sometimes I hated her because she seemed so cold but I think deep down she was just hurt and her coldness was her protective wall. I think she got into my mind and I changed the character Lady Elizabeth name to Lady Adelaide. When I first started writing this story she wasn't suppose to be a major character, but now I have her almost as a second mother to Mattie. She is also suppose to have a deep hurt that makes her hide from the world and it is not until Mattie comes into her life that she truly comes to life. As a writer I am always happy to explore the paths my characters take me on.

I have also find escapism in reading. I know my life should be all about my thesis and class work (and I feel I give it enough) so when I am on the T, I allow myself to read fun novels. I am currently reading my friend's novel The Truth About the Sky... to be honest it is not my typical read as I mostly read historical fictions, but I don't know anyone in real life that has been published so got support my friends. Plus it is good to read outside of your comfort zone.

Plot...

As a Pastor's kid, Kim has been told her whole life that God can see every mistake she makes. Now that she's a college dropout, unemployed and in a questionable relationship with a party guy, her mistakes are all the more obvious. (Especially to her demanding mother, who, apparently, thinks wearing jeans on a commercial flight is a sin.) If only she could move away! Then she could hide from gossip and no one would see her mess up.

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There is suppose to be a scandal to arise testing Kim's questioning faith but so far none has come up... so I am looking forward to reading that and how it is handled. 

Next I want to go back and re-read some of my favorite books, that have set on my shelf too long. I find going back and re-reading some favorites is very soothing like eating comfort food or a nice cup of tea. 

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On the thesis front I have been progressing with research, mostly right now I transcribing records of working women's reports on their expenses into excel in order to gain insight into how much money they spent on clothes and on recreation vs. what their income was. Excel is awesome for this as I can do percentages and averages with very little actual math. (Of course I had to call my dad to ask him how to do it). Of course while I have been doing this I have been marathon watching some of my favorite shows, just as back ground noise but quite amusing. This has been kind of comforting as well.

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Of course nothing beats hanging out with friends. I am not always good about asking to hang out (I know it sounds backwards when I complain about loneliness) but it is. But the last 3 weekends and some other scattered days I have hung out with friends... mostly just crashing and watching TV but I have also gone bowling, tried on my bride's maid dress for my friends wedding, and all 3 weekends had Chinese food. (I have discovered I like scallion pancakes and crab rangoo). 

Not to go against Ron Swanson but I have to say most sadness can be cured with Chinese Food. 

Another month another update

Highly recommend this chapter book
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Hello my loyal readers,

You have to be loyal if you are reading this blog still. I feel I have no words, when ever I want to write my mind gets overwhelmed with how much work I have to do, how many papers I have to write and how many books I have to read. So actually I have a lot of words.

I am surprised it is November, I can't believe that people are listening to Christmas music and  must admit that as I made my Christmas travel plans I too wanted to watch Christmas movies. However, for most of my life my family has not watched Christmas movies till after Thanksgiving. So I would feel just wrong watching a Christmas movie until then. So I'm awaiting that time.

But in the mean time... here is what is going on my life. My semester is winding down (as I only have a month left). Winding down makes it sound as if it is relaxing... I wish I have 3 more projects due in my Children's Lit Class. I know Children's Lit is not in my degree of archiving. But after last semester (where I wanted to drop out of school) I decided to try something completely new and fortunately my advisor was okay with it. We started with reading picture books, then easy reader, and now we are in chapter books. I am always impressed with my classmates, they truly have a passion for this. People might be shocked by this but I wasn't always a big reader, at least not when I was a kid, I only remember reading a book called Third Grade Detectives, and Matilda. I did not really like reading until 6th or 7th grade and I read  Ella Enchanted and something inside me clicked. Anyway I feel I am spending a lot of time doing catch up....

with my Harvard ID

My other class is my internship class, where I get to work at Harvard Art Museum Archives. Everyone thinks it is cool I get Harvard next to my name (which it is), however I liked the job of being a reference person more so. I really like interacting with people and doing research, so I feel reference will be a good spot for me. Sadly the museum is closed as it is under renovations, so I am getting more interactions with emails than in person people. However, I'm loving doing research and touching documents that are close to a 100 years old. One thing I am surprised about is though I am working in an art museum archives, so little of my research actually is about art, it is mostly about the history of the museum.  I am sad to say with the number of hours I have to complete I will only be at this internship till Thanksgiving.

An aerial shot of the Fogg museum
The brick part was built in 1927
The glass is to add more more natural light
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my stack of books on my desk

Other than my classes... I am happy to say my semester is busy but it is going well. I am not feeling too overwhelmed or feeling the anxiety that I felt semester. I am also happy to say I turned in my thesis proposal, I haven't heard back from them if it was approved or not, but just doing my thesis proposal feels quite accomplished. Last semester I was so burnt out from taking 2 history classes (yeah not a good idea) that writing my thesis proposal was a big struggle, and then I had a little break down where I thought of dropping out of school... I was talked off that ledge. Through some encouragement I went ahead and pursued my ideas, found sources, and I felt more confident writing my thesis proposal.  I hope to write on working women at the turn of the twentieth century and how they used fashion to liberate themselves (before they had the vote). It is interesting I spend some time reading books about clothes then I spend other time reading books about working women. I will also be using letters and diaries.

The look below is an example of women wearing the shirtwaist style (comparative to a modern day blouse) and a dark skirt, very popular for working women. Though this look might look restrictive... it was actually more freeing than past styles. The shirtwaist was worn by all spheres of society, it was the working women who really used this style to liberate themselves and potentially move up in the world. 

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Okay loyal readers, I feel this post is long enough and while it has been fun to get some writing some in, I have to begin my day. 

Hopefully will post before next month.

Literary Fear Conquered

Back in July I wrote a post about my Literary Fear where I admit I was afraid to read anything by Charles Dickens (among others)... well I am happy to say as of Sunday night I conquered that fear by finishing Little Dorrit. It took me long enough I must say, but to be fair I did read The Fault was in our Stars and The Secret Garden  while I was reading that book, and the book is about 780-800 pages (depending on the edition). Even with all this going on I still felt like this book took me way to long to get through, so I am happy that I had the miniseries to watch to remind me a) what was going on because Dickens is very wordy and b) why I am actually reading it. Anyway, I am happy to have my first Dickens behind me and maybe now every summer I will conquer on more literary fear.


For those who don't care about my literary fears I am sorry I have posted so little lately... I do have a blog post in mind, I am just trying to think of the words to say.

The fault was in our stars

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I am still reading Little Dorrit, but sorry Charles Dickens it is really taking me all the energy I have to get through your writing. Plus a month ago I put this book on hold and I was 92 on the list of 65 copies so I thought I would be done with Little Dorrit by the time my time came. I got the book last Thursday and finished it on Sunday, probably could have finished it faster if I didn't have to work those days. And to be honest I felt robbed because I thought the book was 331 pages and it was only 313, darn John Green for not writing 18 more pages.

I don't know if I can write about this book without giving away any spoilers and I think everyone should read this book. Yes it is is a Young Adult novel, but the story so so moving (carry tissues), and so beautiful that you can forget that it is young adult and just read it.

Basic plot- Hazel at 16 has a terminal cancer meaning she is living with it and medication and an air tank is keeping her alive. The action of the story quickly starts when she meet Augustus Waters at the cancer support group. He is hot (Hazel's words not mine) and she is surprised he likes her. But they do start a relationship and not to give too many spoilers... he uses his "Make A Wish" to take her to Amsterdam to meet an author they both like. The story goes on from there but like I said I don't want to give away a lot of spoilers.

Why I read- Because lately I have found a lot of quotes on Pinterest by John Green and they seem very motivational, so I was intrigued to read his writing. I first heard of this book when I one of the many fan pages for the Lizzie Bennet Diaries posted a video of Ashley Clements and Daniel Vincent Gordh reading from the book, seemed quite captivating. (Wasn't able to post video here but here is link to video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8kpmifRpgc). Then my friend, who is working on getting a master's in Library Science for Young Adult Services posted about how she cried on the T while reading the book. So with all this I thought this was a book worth checking out.

good example 

 
What I liked- As most of you know I'd rather live in the past than in the present so I spend a lot of time watching Period Dramas or reading books set in the past, but I found this book just as absorbing as any of those books and I will be adding Hazel Grace to my list of heroines to admire. While my friends who had read the book said they cried and it is about teenagers with cancer, I found myself laughing out loud on the T. It wasn't that it was a funny topic but just the honesty of it and the way Hazel and Augustus talked was just funny. But at the end I loved the characters so much that when it ended I did cry mostly because I didn't want it to end.

What I didn't like- I will say though it was a young adult there was some language that I didn't like, but I didn't think it was over used and I thought sometimes probably very truthful. I don't like swearing, however if I was going through what these characters went through I would probably swear too.

Over all great book, I don't know if I would put it into life changing as it has been labeled, but I am super glad I read it. Seriously have tissues on you.

This has been a good summer so far of some new books to love and some re-reads I adore. I feel very weird now that most of my books are packed up in preparation for my move.

A literary fear

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Have you ever been scared by an author or a book? I don't mean because the book is a thriller a suspense, but because the author or book has such a reputation for being "high brow". Well there are a few authors and books for me on that list.

1. Anna Karenina
2. War and Peace
3. Vanity Fair (book not magazine)
4. Henry James
5. Edith Wharton
6. and anything by Charles Dickens...

I mean I have read the Christmas Carol but it was 80 pages and I own Great Expectations and I keep thinking of reading it, but I can't bring myself to read Dickens. Well that is changing... at least I hope it changes. I have started the book Little Dorrit. I know it is cheating but sometimes conquering these big "scary" novels I have to watch the movie or miniseries to know the characters and to love the characters.  I mean Amy Dorrit is one of the heroines I look up to. And I love the miniseries so I felt I was doing Amy and Mr. Dickens a discredit by not reading her story. So here I go I am going to give my best try to conquer an author that scares me.

Here is a little preview...

Video: Little Dorrit - Author and Amy

Song: Love Sick Mistake by Erin McCarley

Video made by: SimplyDarcy

I watched a few other fanmade videos before choosing this one. I chose it because 1) I felt it had no spoilers and 2) I loved the description...

Amy and Arthur are hopeless in love with each other but due to tragic circumstance and meddling of dark souls, they part ways and separated by ocean with only time to heal their heart. They are lonely, heartbroken and miserable. With the discovery of new friends, they are able to be loved and fall in love again but only have their love unreturned.

I will keep you posted if I conquer any more "scary" books...

No ryme or reason... just love

Hello lovely readers,

I have posted some deep blog post so to lighten the mood I thought I would post this cheesy period drama montage video. I am kind of a closet "fan-video loving girl". When I fall in love with a movie, or TV show I love seeking out these fan-video music videos. I am going to say it is my hopeful romantic side that still wants to hold on to the story and not let it go, however it is probably just my geeky side.  

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It is funny as much as I love the love stories, I am more and more starting to appreciate the hero or heroine's journey(as the case may be). I have given my friend some books of mine to read and she gotten annoyed at me because the last few I have given her (I capture the Castle and A Northern Light) do not have the typical romantic ending. In fact the heroine leaves the "hero" of the story to have a very independent life. She thinks it is odd that I have such strong hopeful romantic feelings. I told her "I am giving her heroines that are strong that settle for nothing but the best in life." I have a very deep heart for love and sappiness but I think the only way to have true love is not to settle for anything but perfection. I know love will not be perfect (I am not expecting a Disney movie), I know it is hard work, but I also know that love should not feel like settling. I can watch sappy movies but at the end of the day the love stories I admire are the ones where the characters grow and empower themselves. So I am still on the look out for these heroines...

Some I highly recommend (highly bias but in no particular order)
Cassandra- I Capture the Castle
Molly Gibson- Wives and Daughters
Elinor Dashwood- Sense and Sensibility
Amy Dorrit- Little Dorrit
Fiona- The Tea Rose
Hadassah- A Voice in the Wind and Echo in the Darkness
Shelby Parker- The Princess
Mattie- A Northern Light
Fanny Price- Mansfield Park

Cassandra from I Capture the Castle
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Dancing through research

I wrote in my post "I do not have a post for today" that I would like to learn more about Edwardian dancing. As much as I love Downton Abbey I feel like it is missing dancing... minus one very important scene in season 2. (If you watch Dowton you know instantly what I am talking about but I love posting pictures of Downton and Dan Stevens.)

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Any way after writing that post I remembered a very helpful resource, Edwardian Promenade, I have used it to find great pictures but it is quite insightful on Edwardian life. So I thought I would take a shot and see what it had on dancing. And I found a very interesting article with a few YouTube videos to give examples. For example...

Link

You might recognize "The Grizzly Bear" from Season 1 of Downton Abbey

 as Thomas and Daisy do a bit of it. 

I know not all my readers are as interested in Edwardian dancing as I am, but I think in writing one should be a truthful as possible even if the story is completely made up it is in the details that matter. One of my favorite authors (besides Jane Austen) is Jennifer Donnelly and I feel she must spend so much time doing research to get the details so accurate, I am impressed. I have always loved historical fiction for this reason because the elements have to be precise for them to be believable but yet the writer can sweep you away in to a world and time we can only imagine about. I know that is why I personally am drawn to historical fiction, the indulgence to escape into another life. 

I hope I can write my character a good dance scene... I feel sometimes when watching people dance you can see their true feelings... Just think what Emma would be with out the ball when you finally see Mr. Knightley admits his feelings (at least to the audience). 

Mr. Knightley: Who are you going to dance with?

Emma: You if you should ask me. After all we are not brother and sister.

Mr. Knightley: Brother and sister.... indeed we are not. 

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So if you are like me and trying to write some historical fiction, I recommend reading history (rather on a blog or in a book), watching period dramas (from a time period you love), and reading other historical novels. I know it may not be official history but I have fallen in love with this series called the Morland Dynasty by Cynthia Harrod-Eagles. It starts in pre-Elizabethian era but goes up to the 1920's as this family evolves through time. I  read The Dream Kingdom going from 1909-1912 and I am reading now The Restless Sea about the Titanic and I look forward to going to reading the books about WWI. While I was reading The Dream Kingdom, I underlined lots of text that described society, to the food they ate, to the dresses they wore. I loved it and have gone back to it in writing my own story. 

Okay this post has gotten longer than I thought, so I will leave you with this last photo... 

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Couldn't resist one more Downton Abbey photo. 

Wishing you the best in your writing.

A new to heroine love...

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I have found another heroine to love. It is Molly Gibson from the novel Wives and Daughters, by Elizabeth Gaskell. Molly Gibson is an only daughter of the strong headed and odd Dr. Gibson and she has made it her life's work to serve her father very unselfishly. At the beginning of the story a Mr. Coxe has fallen for her but her father, kind of selfishly, keeps Mr. Coxe's feelings unknown, and sends his daughter off to Hamley Hall. This is where the real action starts. At Hamely Hall we truly see Molly's sacrificing soul as we see her take care of the ailing Mrs. Hamely. Also during this time Dr. Gibson gets engaged to a silly woman. But what is most important for this blog post is we meet Roger Hamley, the second son of the Squire.

Molly and Roger
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I have watched the mini-series a few times and I have fallen in love with it. Plus I know from the comments on YouTube it doesn't have the great romantic ending that the mini-series has because Gaskell dies before she finished the book. So I was intrigued to see where the novel ended. I began reading the novel and I have fallen in love with Molly Gibson.

Molly, Cynthia, and Mrs. Gibson
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Molly is frequently compared to with her step-sister, Cynthia. I feel Gaskell stresses Cynthia's beauty because it is seems to be only outer beauty. Cynthia wants to be good but her mannerism is prone to trouble and while she talks a good deal of goodness she doesn't really improve. Also Cynthia knows she is a beauty, she likes to flirt with men, and use her beauty to get men's attention. Any way Molly is all goodness and everyone around her can see her sweet nature but the man she loves hardly notices her. In fact he sees her only as a sister. And Molly is so sacrificial that she never says one word of her love to Roger Hamley and actually encourages Cynthia in her relationship with Roger.

I am right now at the part where Molly is in pain because she is realizing that Cynthia does not truly love Roger and it breaks her heart. I am happy that have watched the mini-series to know that there is a happy ending for her because right now my heart is breaking for her. 

Molly is the kind of person who is sensible, good hearted, always caring for others over herself, and while she does not speak of it much she has a deep and passionate heart. In some ways I feel she is the heroine I wish I could be and in other ways I feel very much like her. By this I mean, I am not always good at expressing my emotions but I do have a deep heart to love. Molly is written off as plane and I sometimes when I look in the mirror I see a plane girl. Also Molly is noted for spending too much time in her books. But I wish I was like Molly in the way she is always caring for others above her own self and this in the end gives her a happy ending.

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I used to get annoyed with characters who are seen as behaving properly all the time, they seemed too perfect, and a good heroine has flaws. Though the more I read the more I find the more I love these heroines who are sacrificial in the way they act, do not always let their hearts known, but yet they do long for passion and a soul mate. I would count Elinor Dashwood, Fanny Price, Amy Dorrit, and Anne Elliot even though I am not a big fan of Persuasion.

If you love Jane Austen or if you are looking for another heroine to fall in love with I recommend Molly Gibson. I hope she is the kind of heroine I can become and write about in my stories for I feel she is a great role model to live up to. 

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Besides my love for Molly Gibson, the whole mini-series is great with some great one liners...

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To read more on other heroines I have fallen in love with... A Jane Austen Heroine

Finished My Semester

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Yes it is from the Lizzie Bennet Diaries

I am happy to report that I am done with my finals! 

Over this last month I have taken a break from blogging and in some aspects life. I hope once life gets back to normal and I have more mental energy I will be able to write more blog posts. I have these thoughts of giving up on this blog as I don't feel I have much to say or I don't have the mental energy to write. But I went to an event from my almmater and my old adviser told me she read my blog; I was very touched and for that reason I hope I can keep up with it. It is always nice to know something you have taken time to write has been read by others.

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I sadly do not have much to catch you guys up on. I feel I have spent most of my month researching and writing papers. One paper was turn of the century fashion, I hope to use that paper to begin my thesis. As you probably know from my post about Downton Abbey, the stories I have been writing, or if you follow me on Pinterest I have fallen head over heels with the Edwardian time period. So I knew I wanted to do a paper on the turn of the century. I thought about doing my thesis on women's professionalism (like what careers became the more feminine careers and what not) but after sitting through a thesis proposal workshop where one adviser said "chose your own Hell" I had a change of heart. I have always loved fashion, I think it is so much more than what people wear, but what they value and what society values. So I turned my mind towards turn of the century fashion. As I began researching my paper I discovered that single working girls had more of a disposable income and used their fashion to get away from the strict uniforms of their jobs and possibly move up in the world. I would really like to talk about that. Of course I know I need a good argument for my thesis... so this summer I will be researching it. Wish me luck.

Besides finishing up school, I did go and visit my sister, niece and nephew. I know it was in the middle of the craziness of finals but I REALLY needed a break to go see them. I had a great time being Auntie Blaire and even though we didn't do anything overly big being with them was awesome. Also, my dad and step-mom surprised me with a day trip to see me... which was sweet to see them.

The only picture I took while I was there of my nephew crawling

But now school is over and I have the summer to look forward to. I know I need to be researching for my thesis... so I will probably be hanging out in some archives. I do hope to get some fun reading in (aka books without footnotes). I have been watching a lot of mindless TV but now I can't wait to cross some books off my reading list.

Hope to post more later.

In need of some light-heartedness

Dear Anne,

When I started writing these letters to you I made a promise to you that I would not write any "fluff" post but right now I need some "fluff." Lots of things in my life seem to be crumbling around me and I cannot think of how to phrase them all. But I didn't want to not write this week so if you will pardon me... I am going to write some fluff. 

Reading the book on the T.

I just got done reading my friend Katharine Grubb's book Falling for Your Madness, which I highly recommend as a great read on the beach over the summer or when you are stuck inside due to a blizzard or like me and just don't want to think about grad-school. I started it on Thursday afternoon and finished it by Sunday and I got swept up in the chivalry of the story. It is great to have such chivalrous character like David to fall for and you know me I am a sucker for a chivalrous hero. 

Any way this letter is not to write you a book report but I wanted to write that blurb so you understand this part. In one of their dinners they discuss what five things they love and five things they hate. I will only share my five loves in this letter (as I need some time to remember the good things in my life). 

my nephew wearing the T-shirt
I got him for Christmas

1. I am going to break David's rule of not saying my family... he thinks it is virtuous to say but doesn't say anything about us (p. 37). I am sorry but I think if you want to know me you must know I have a deep love of my family. They shape me so much and  while I am at least a thousand miles away from them they are a constant in my life. And lately I have seen how important they are for me as a support team in my life. But more specifically you have probably seen from my other letters I do have a sort of addiction to my niece and nephew. Last week I was feeling lonely so I made sure to spend some time with kids. I skyped with my sister and through that I drew pictures of princesses with my niece. Then on Friday I spent the afternoon with my best friend's baby. It was what I needed. So I love kids. 

2. I love getting lost in a good a book. Even though I am in grad-school I try to make time to read a fun book on the side. I love when a story can completely take me away from all that is going on in my life and I can disappear into another world. I usually find this true about historical fictions but last year I read the Hunger Games and could not put them down. 

3. My first cup of coffee. I sometimes get up, switch my coffee pot on, and then climb back in bed and wait for it to finish brewing. My first cup always wakes me up. The picture is of my favorite mug. My best friend gave it to me for Christmas and it is absolutely my favorite. This picture is not good but it says "Creative Fuel" and I love my days off when I can sip out of it and actually do some fun writing, which leads me to my number 4. 

4. Getting time to write. It doesn't happen much from going to grad-school, working, and doing life but I love when I find a few minutes to "work" on my story. I put the word work in "" because it is not really work it is a pleasure.  Like my getting lost in a good book I also like getting lost in  my own stories. 

5. Umm... last thing. This is hard because I feel there are many things I love. But I would say this city of Boston. Since the first time I came here I felt like this place was home. While, I love going back home to Oklahoma for the nostalgic aspects. I think Boston was the first place I ever felt like I truly fit in. And even in the cold I still love it here. I also feel God has blessed me here with my school, my friends I have made that have become a second family to me, my church, and most importantly my walk with Him.  

Boston gets more snow. 

Okay thanks for listening to my "fluff" it was good to write this down and remind myself all the goodness in my life. There are more than five things I love but I want to follow David's rule. 

- Blaire