Not forsaken pt. 3ish

As I was writing my Not Forsaken blog post I was reminded of some other post I feel I have written on much the same topic. So I wanted to high light them because faith is a constant journey. Pictures and previews below...Happy Reading!

A Page from my Diary 

I can't keep it bottled up inside any more.

I am burnt out.

In my life I have wanted to be many things

but my heart has only wanted to be two things

a wife and a mother.

I have placed so much time and energy thinking and dreaming about those two things

I lose my focus.

Letting Go of the "but"

A few hours ago I got back from a wonderful retreat and I come back with one BIG take away. I have written many times on this blog that I have wanted to be a wife and mother but that feels very  far away from distant from me. For awhile I walked around a little depressed because I thought if that is the purpose of my life why is it not happening. Then I wondered is this really God's desire? So I began praying "Lord please change my desires if they are not yours" quickly followed by "but I really want to be a wife and mother." Up until this weekend I thought this was a good prayer. I mean I couldn't lie to God and pretend that I didn't want my desires but I knew His desires were more important so I thought this prayer was a good compromise. 

Delight yourself in the Lord

Delight yourself in the Lord

and he will give you the desires of your heart.

-Psalm 37:4

I know that verse is used a lot. At first reading it should seem like that God should give you whatever you desire/want. So many times we do not get what we want. Does that mean this verse is a lie? No. I think this verse tells us there is a process (a process I am still learning).

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart- Jeremiah 29:13. The most important part in these verses is the Lord. When we seek God with all our hearts, we will find God. When we delight ourselves in the Lord that is when we get the desires of our hearts. Often times I pray "I want this and I want that" and when I don't get I give up and usually pout and complain. That is not where prayer should stop. 

Hope is an act of waiting

Hope is an interesting word. In church and in the bible we are told to hope in the Lord. I have long to struggled with the idea what this idea truly means. When I was in my most serious relationship I knew what it was like to hope in our relationship and hoped that one day we would get marry. But that did not work out and when we broke up I felt like I had lost all hope. 

I press on towards the goal

I have been going through a study in the Bible on the word hope. Before this study I knew what it was like to hope for a good grade; I knew what it was like to hope for/in a relationship; but I never knew what it meant to "Hope in the Lord" (a phrase often used in church). I got to hear my friend talk about what she was going through and she said the phrase "God wants our best in life so we don't need to fear that things will work out." Our best does not mean financial prosperity or happiness all the time but it does mean God's will being done perfectly through us. From the time she mentioned that to now (and on going) my perspective on the word HOPE has changed. More on this in my Hope is an Act of Waiting post. During my quiet time my study came across this scripture...

But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me

heavenward in Christ Jesus. 

-Philippians 3:13b-14 (NIV, 1984)

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You know it is interesting. My friend keeps talking about how when God is trying to to teach us something and we ignore Him, He will let us have our own way for awhile (a month, a year, tens years, whatever) but we will keep circling the mountain. We will go around the mountain and we won't really be able to climb up the mountain and experience all his greatness... I think this my mountain. Hope is my mountain. I have written about hope and the future so much but I have yet to grasp what it really means to Hope in the Lord. I keep underestimating his grace and what He has in store for my. I can see my mountain now I just need to learn how to climb it. 

In my post "A thought for Thursday" I wrote "And the roads to get up those mountains are loopy and sometimes you may not be able to see where you are going. But isn't that what makes life fun... the unknown?"  I am not so good at embracing the unknown and right now I feel my life is a lot of unknowns. And not to sound all preachy, but I know God is here to take me through all the valleys and hill tops and He has promised never to forsake me.

Faithful

By: Brooke Fraser